| "..diluted water." -- Strangers passing by |
| "You want to bet how many?" -- Classmate |
| If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie! |
| I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I cannot stand rejection from both males and females. |
| "My brother was afraid he would be late for school the next morning, so he wore socks to bed the night before." -- A friend of my sister |
| Some Apocryphal Metaphors from Student Essays: Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. It hurts the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally stapled it to the wall. |
| Amusing Thoughts, Funny Sentences & Comical Quotes |
| Amusing Thoughts, Funny Sentences & Comical Quotes |
| "...Here, you can see the sky and the trees. You can also hear the insects chirping in the nature." -- Miss Singapore Universe 2004 's contestant, describing how different outdoor spa is from the usual spa done indoors |
| Confucius Says... Seven days on honeymoon make one whole week (hole weak). Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit. Nail on board is not good as screw on bench. Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed. Girl who sit on judge's lap get honourable discharge. Support bacteria - it is the only culture some people have. Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work. Man who drive like hell are bound to get there. Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit. Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills. |
| Sis, 16: " I'm cooking spaghetti for my dinner; I cook your share too. " Me: " Don't waste food. " |
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