dave carnie
JDZ) Who do you ride for?
whale cock and vans. in my imagination i ride for indy and spitfire and
coors. but like i said, that shit aint real.
JDZ) How long have you been on the team?
i put myself on whale cock two years ago. i was going to kick myself off
when i broke my leg, but i'm totally bros with myself so i was cool to
me.
JDZ) Where are you from?
i'm from san jose but i live in hollywood. i'm not that concerned with
place. my interest lies in time.
JDZ) How long have you been skating?
twenty something motherfucking years. next question.
JDZ) What is your favorite spot?
i like the tip of my penis. if feels good there.
JDZ) What do you think of Christian Hosoi being
arrested
i just want to know what happened to the pound of meth he was carrying.
i mean who gets to snort that shit? they don't throw it away do they?
JDZ) What is your favorite music?
farting never gets old.
JDZ) Who do you think is the most influential skater?
at which time? see i'm all into time and shit.
JDZ) Who inspired you when you were younger
this one i can answer. the last one was like there is a right or wrong
answer. but when i was younger i really was inspired by blender, jason
jesse, caballero, gonz, ben schroeder, bod, greg aguilar, hosoi, my
goodness the list goes on and on. i didn't realize i was such an
impressionable young lad. oh, swank too.
JDZ) Do you have a nickname?
yes. it is carn carn. me and chuck wampler used to walk around
talking...is it alright if i tell you the story? okay, cool. you can
have some of my taco, sure. anyway, we used to talk like hosoi who would
always echo every word he said. like, shred shred, and brah brah, and we
imagined that if i were in his inner circle, smokin weed and fuckin
bitches and shit, holla, that he would call me carn carn.
JDZ) Favorite tricks
tail taps and sweepers. rolling down the street has become a trick for
me now though too. gettin old.
JDZ) Do you like skating in contests?
yes. my style is sarcastic and openly mocking the event.
JDZ) What would you like people to know about you?
i'm pregnant.
JDZ) What do you do besides skate?
drink beer, watch hockey, collect shells, fart, play a guitar with my
hands, look at girls, look at guys, i go to fancy restaurants because
i'm a food snob, i love eating, i read stuff that makes me all smart, i
spend a lot of time thinking about this fued i'm having with muska right
now and he doesn't like me....that's one thing i do a lot: be not liked
by the muska because i read books and think i'm all smart and shit.
JDZ) Do you have any pets?
gary the wonder cat.
JDZ) Can you play any instruments?
weren't you listening? i fart and play guitar.
JDZ) How would you tell a kid to get sponsored?
i'd yell it really loud at him. in a drill sergeant uniform. i'd bend
over and scream at him, "GET SPONSORED YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!"
JDZ) Do you have any tattoos?
NO. oh, i'm still screaming. no, i don't like tattoos.
JDZ) Are there any up and coming skaters you'd like to
mention?
this guy dave carnie that rides for me, on whale cock, he's pretty
averagely spectacular.
JDZ) What is the best trick you've ever seen?
my friend in seventh grade, vaso, he was yugoslavian or something, he
could balance like eight dimes on his elbow, then swing his arm down and
catch them all with his hand.
JDZ) Can you do a sal flip?
not enough information to answer the question.
JDZ) What do you think the best trick is you've ever
done?
fooling people into giving me control of a magazine that is on regular
newsstands.
JDZ) What tricks have you been working on?
making mothers think that big brother is filled with recipes and pet
care tips. i can't make it yet though. it's hard. moms are smart.
JDZ) How do you feel about big corporations getting
involved in skateboarding?
the same way i feel about george bush sticking an oil well in my ass.
does that make sense?
JDZ) Do you get mad when teammates quit?
i was totally bummed on myself when i tried to kick myself off of
whalecock, but i talked to myself about it, out loud, and it's cool you
know. i don't got no beef with me.
JDZ) How do you pick up on chicks?
good question. except that i am an international superstar so i don't do
anything. they pick up on me.
JDZ) Do you have any advice on girls?
some girls like the feel of a beard on their inner thigh. others don't.
if you have a beard you need to find one that likes the feel of it on
their inner thighs.
JDZ) Have you ever been arrested?
yeah. dude. shit, yeah.
JDZ) do you have any questions you'd like to ask
yourself?
"why don't you close the front door when you masturbate in the living
room, dave?"
JDZ) How did you like the magazine?
remember when we burned that big ole pile of them? that was awesome
right?
JDZ) Have you ever heard of it?
no, but i've done IT a few times. IT feels good.
JDZ) Famous Last Words?
penis. vagina.