Ok, now you're probably wondering what dumb labels are.  Well here's the scoop.  Dumb labels are warning labels that are found on food products, personal care products, and other store bought things.  Here are a few simply hilarious ones that I have acquired.

   Do not use while sleeping.
   (shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
 

   On a bag of Fritos:

   You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
   Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
 

   On a bar of Dial soap:

   "Directions: Use like regular soap."
   (and that would be... how???)
 

   On some Swanson frozen dinners:

   "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
   (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
 

   On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

   "Do not turn upside down."
   (well it's a little late now isn't it!)
 

   On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
   "Product will be hot after heating."
   (and you thought????)
 

   On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

   "Do not iron clothes on body."
   (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
 

   On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

   "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
   medication."
   (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
   with head-colds off those forklifts.)
 

   On Nytol Sleep Aid:

   "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
   (and I'm taking this because???)
 

   On most brands of Christmas lights:

   "For indoor or outdoor use only."
   (as opposed to...what)?
 

   On a Japanese food processor:

   "Not to be used for the other use."
   (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious...what's the other use?)
 

   On Sunsbury's peanuts:

   "Warning: contains nuts."
    (wow, talk about a news flash)
 

   On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

   "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
   (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
 

   On a child's superman costume:

   "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
   (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
 

   On a Swedish chainsaw:
   "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or private parts."
   (Oh wow...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
 

   Sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan warns:

   "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
   (No way!  Are you kidding me?)
 

   A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns:

   "Do not drive with sunshield in place"
  (Whoa, dude, Great idea.)
 

   A unique wind-proof beach towel advises users:

   "This towel has been tested to withstand significantly strong winds.
   But please be advised that during a hurricane or other severe weather conditions this product
   should not be used to secure yourself or anything of value."
   (Right, like if I'm in the midst of a hurricane I'm going to tie myself down with a towel)
 

   A label on a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn at an ice capades event says:

   "Caution: This is not a safety protective device"
    (Well duh!)
 

   A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to:

   "Remove child before folding"
    (Really?  But the kid would be much more compact that way!)
 

   An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions:

   "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks"
    (Ya, great idea)
 

   A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use:

   "While sleeping or unconscious"
    (But wouldn't it feel good to sleep with that thing in use?)
 

    A cartridge for a laser printer warns:

   "Do not eat toner"
   (Mmmmm, tasty.)
 

   A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns:

  "Not intended for highway use"
   (Shoot, and that's the only vehicle I own)
 

   A Holmes Bathroom Heater says:

   "This product is not to be used in bathrooms"
   (Then where do I use it?)
 

   A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users:

   "May irritate eyes"
   (And what else would it do besides that?)
 

   A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says:

   "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
    (Wow, I'll have to remember that one.)
 

   A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions:

   "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
    (No, really?  I had no idea.)