|
"Starjammer" Josh Greer vs Bill Barnard
- Skeloderma Research
|
Will: "In just about any other card you could think of, this would have to be the main event. Today it's not, but it's got all the classic ingredients."
Rusty: "Yep. Two of the biggest stars in TUFF and the IWA today. Bill Barnard, the man who started it all and who carried the weight of TUFF on his huge shoulders for all those years. He's done TV, movies, won Federation titles, been a World Tag Team champion...there's not much he hasn't done in this business."
Will: "And his opponent, the StarJammer Josh Greer, the man who helped introduce TUFF to a whole new generation of fans! He is one of TUFF's hardcore legends, but at the same time, he's one of the kindest guys you can meet outside the ring! It's no wonder he's one of the most popular stars around!"
Rusty: "Here comes Bill Barnard, and you can feel the electricity building up here. The fans have really been raised to a fever pitch, and these two guys have all the talent they need to deliver something special tonight!" (The fans are going completely nuts as the founder of TUFFmakes his way to the ring trading high fives with the crowd. He gets to the ring and climbs in, playing to the crowd as much as he can.)
Will: "I understand that the Jammer had a brief message for Barnard, and it started the whole road to the match between these two superstars today. Let's take you back briefly to that fateful day the challenge was issued....." The Titantron lights up and a tape begins to play.... (The Starjammer strides down the aisle and into the ring during a BBL tv taping just after his match with Bill Barnard for an upcoming PPV has been announced. He grabs the mic and begins to speak)
SJ: Bill, everywhere I go, people have been asking me, "Why do you want to fight Barnard". The answer, my friend, is quite simple. Ever since day one at the Integrated Training Camp I've been hearin, oh the Starjammer he reminds me of Bill....he wrestles like Bill...he's gonna be the next Bill...etc etc etc. I'm flattered an all, but it's gettin old. The way I figure it, the only way that I'm gonna be able to make my own path around here is to go one on one with the guy that started it. So Bill, lace ‘em up tight, and good luck....you're gonna need it.
ARRRRRRRRRRRE UUUUUUUUUUUUU REEEEAAAADDDDDDYYYY????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Fireworks go shooting off as Josh Greer appears in the entranceway. The fans are deafening, and whatever entrance music he may have had is totally obscured. Up in one section, ten guys have stripped off their shirts and have S-T-A-R-J-A-M-M-E-R painted on their chests, one letter to a person. The Jammer reaches the ring and gets in, exchanging a quick handshake with Barnard. The special guest referee is Mills Lane of Court TV and MTV Celebrity Deathmatch fame, and he begins instructing the two wrestelers in the rules. Basically, he is calling all the shots.)
Will: "Well fans, it looks like Mills Lane has finished establishing the ground rules and we are hitting the ground running here as Barnard takes the early offense! He scoop slams Greer, then follows up with an elbow drop! But Greer rolls out of the way and the two are back up. Barnard charges and Greer executes an armdrag takedown, but Barnard uses his immense size and strength to power out of it and counter with a Samoan Drop. Greer kicks out of the attempted pin quickly and rocks Barnard back with a stiff shot to the chest. Barnard responds with a standing clothesline that staggers Greer, who uses the momentum to push himself off the ropes and launch a flying elbow smash. Barnard soaks it up and....Rusty, say something! I gotta breathe here!"
Rusty: "This is absolutely amazing! We all expected a high impact match, but this is just incredible! Greer has Barnard in the corner and is hacking away with those knife edge chops. Barnard uses his strength to turn the tables on Greer as he flings the smaller man into the middle of the ring! Greer is up with the dropkick that catches Barnard in the chest and drives him back into the corner. Barnard steps up and dives off the second turnbuckle, catching Greerin a massive body press! But Greer rolls with it and goes for the pin as he comes out on top!"
Will: "Barnard kicks out forcefully at one, and Greer makes a mad dash for the ropes. He's up top, and here comes Barnard! Greer leaps and performs a beautiful hurricanrana that throws Barnard onto the mat again...Greer with the pin that's broken up as Barnard reaches up and sets up for the chokeslam! WHAM!!! There it is, and Greer rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp, gasping and taunting Barnard to follow."
Rusty: "Wait a minute, Barnard's looking at Mills Lane, waiting for the ten count to begin."
Lane: "Well? He's your man, stay on him!" (Barnard, surprised, heads out of the ring and lumbers up the ramp after Greer. He gets met at the top of the ramp by Greer, who smacks a trash can into Barnard's head. The trash can buckles and Barnard staggers back. Greer turns and hustles back into the hallways.)
Will: "Now that there's smart wrestling. The Jammer's sweated and bled over every square inch of this arena; it's his home turf."
Rusty: "No matter how you look at it, Barnard's getting into some very unfamiliar territory here. Has the camera crew gotten out there yet?"
Will: "We're just getting reports in from Brock Shadler now, and the feed should be coming in...now." (The Titantron lights up again and we see Barnard ramming Greer's head into the hood of a Lincoln Towncar in the parking garage. Greer stomps on Barnard's foot, then rips off the loose-hanging bumper and smacks Barnard upside the head with it. Barnardreels, but ducks the next shot. Greer, overbalanced, can't turn back quickly enough and gets booted on the backside into the side of a Suburban. He drops the bumper and hits the ground, rolling under a VW Beetle. Barnard stalks over to the other side and gets an oil pan in the face as Greer, now coated with the black ooze, scrambles out and takes off through the delivery doors. Barnard howls and charges after him. Barnard blocks a cookie sheet as Greer drops it and starts throwing dishes. Barnard reaches over to the fridge and rips the door off the hinges and uses it as a shield. He drives it into Greer, who stumbles back and puts a hole in the drywall. Barnard drops the door and grabs a frying pan and clocks Greer on the noggin. Greerstaggers, but the enclosed kitchen is too constricting for the huge Barnard as he keeps knocking things over in his mad dash to keep the Jammer in his sights. Greer sprints into the hallway and Barnard follows after a few seconds. Jammer swings with a fire extinguisher, but Barnardcounters with his frying pan and hits the nozzle of the extinguisher! A white cloud envelopes them both as the extinguisher vents all its contents out. Coughing, Barnard stumbles and bumps into Greer, who is similarly blinded. The two exchage a few wild punches before they really have problems breathing and go their separate ways to get out of the cloud. Barnard finds a door and opens it....revealing the furnace room for the arena! Greer comes charging in after him and Barnard uses his momentum to throw him into a large pipe! Greer staggers crazily...and it looks as if he's been busted open! Barnard grabs him from behind and BAM! There's the suplex! Mills Lane runs in for the count, but Greer kicks out at two. Barnard grabs a load of spare PVC pipe and throws it at Greer, who gets caught in the hail and covers up to protect his face. He opens his eyes again, and Barnard delivers a thunderous right uppercut! Greer reels and clocks himself on another low-hanging pipe. Barnard ducks to get under it and Greerscoots out of the way as Barnard tries to stomp him. Greer gets back up holding the back of his head, and his forehead is bleeding profusely. Barnard meanwhile is nursing some severely bruised ribs. Greer goes back out the door and closes it, locking it from the outside! Barnardthumps furiously on the door. After a few futile kicks, he goes and finds an old sledgehammer. With this, he breaks down the door and cautiously peeks out into the hall. There is a small trail of blood leading to the left that he follows. Limping, he turns round the corner and enters into the arena again, where the blood trail seemingly stops at the top of the ramp. Above the roar of the crowd, he hears a clang and turns to see the Jammer climbing up to the top of the Titantron. Barnard tosses his hammer aside and begins to climb up the other side. Greer reaches the top first and starts stomping on Barnard's fingers. Barnard lets go with one hand and is dangling from the other. Greer starts working on the other hand. Barnard lunges and grabs hold of Greer's foot. He pulls, and Greer waves wildly as he is off balance. Both Greer and Barnardmake the plunge 20 feet down to the entrance ramp...which collapses under the combined impact! The audience goes silent, and everyone looks shocked as Mills Lane drops to his knees and begins a three count. 1...2....3! But without a microphone, he can't make the announcement!"
Will: "That....that was the....fans, never have I seen anything like this. We're looking at the remains of the entrance ramp, looking for some sign of life. Mills Lane has apparently declared this match to be over, but...but from where I sit, I can't see anything. Brock, you have a better vantage point, what do you see?"
Brock: "Will, I just don't have the words for it. There's wreckage everywhere, it looks like somebody dropped a bomb or something. Wait a minute, I think I see a hand moving!" (The crowd erupts as the Jammer slowly pulls himself out of the wreckage. Mills Lane stands by. The two look at the pile, and Jammer starts tugging at pieces to help clear it. He jumps back as the entire pile shifts, and with a mighty roar Bill Barnard shoves the pile off of him. He staggers over to Greer and Lane to the thunderous cheers of the crowd. Both Barnard and Greer are battered , bloodied, bruised, limping, and in a lot of pain. The fans are going absolutely berserk!! Mills Lane grabs a microphone.)
Lane: "Men, that's the kind of fight I like to see! The winner by pinfall is StarJammer Josh Greer! And if there's a rematch next year, I wanna referee it!"