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God's Mighty Warrior vs. Jimmie Jawaya vs Felix Flick vs Super D -Collection Plates of a Church of choice |
Will: "Rusty, if last match was tonight's comic relief, than this one is bound to set things back to a more serious tone."
Rusty: "You got that right. It's a Fatal Four Way Dance as rookies Super D, Jimmie Jawaya the ManSized Worm, and Felix Flick battle it out with each other and veteran God's Mighty Warrior for all the marbles. What was that Rich said before the show? Something about how all charities being represented would get a five-figure cash payment? That's a nice chunk of change to drop in someone's collection plate!"
Will: "That it is! And I'm also being informed that we will be having a special guest commentator for this match....oh wow, listen to the fans pop now!" (In the ring, James Earl Jones has just announced that Mr. T will be sharing the commentary duties. Down the ramp comes a 1982 GMC van, black with a red stripe and red wheels.) It stops, and out pile Mr. T (as BA Baracus), Colnel John "Hannibal" Smith, Lieutenant Templeton "Faceman" Peck, and "Howling Mad" Murdock.)
Rusty: (Jumping to his feet and saluting the Colnel:) "Sir, good to be working with you sir!"
Hannibal: "At ease, soldier. B.A. said you were having some problems with some WOTO guys and since we had no legitimate way to get tickets, we thought we'd offer our services for this match."
Faceman: "Hannibal, if you'd just given me a little more time, I could've gotten front row..."
BA: "Shut up fool! They ain't here to listen to your jibber jabber!"
Hannibal: "All righty...BA, you have the ring area covered. Murdock, grab a headset and get up to the engineering booth. Faceman, go talk to that interviewer, that Colby Blairwoman."
Faceman: "The blonde? I'm...uh, yeah, Hannibal, let's find out what she knows. What about you?"
Hannibal: (Pulls off his coat, revealing a black and white striped ref's shirt underneath) "I'm going to be IN the ring." (Puffs on cigar...) "Boys, I love it when a plan comes together." (Hannibal steps in the ring as the four wrestlers begin making their way to the ring. They enter and gather in a short group prayer before beginning. Squaring off first is Felix Flick and Super D.)
Will: "So BA, what's your take on this matchup so far?" BA: "I think the fool in the blue tights should get his head examined. Flick and that big pink sucka might put up a good fight, but that big Mighty Warrior's got Winner stamped all over him." (Super D and Felix Flick lock up in the middle of the ring. Super D powers Flickinto the turnbuckle, where Hannibal breaks it up. The two lock up again, but this time Flickdrops and rolls backwards, sending Super D flying. Super D is barely fazed however, and gets up with a huge grin on his face. They lock up once more, and this time Flick gets tossed into Jimmie Jawaya's corner, where he quickly makes the tag. Jimmie Jawaya is up on the top and launches himself at Super D just as Flick tackles him around the waist. Working as a duo, they manage to take Super D down. Flick clambers off and gets to the corner as Hannibal starts the count. Jimmie gets shoved off after a two count.)
Will: "Lots of action here so far. It seems as if Flick and Jawaya are going to use their skills as tag team experts to wear down the opposition."
Rusty: "And so far, God's Mighty Warrior hasn't been a factor. The rookies are all being careful to stay away from his corner and avoid making an inadvertent tag."
BA: "You fools talk too much. Look, now that Worm fool's got Super D in an armlock." (Super D is looking around for a tag, but the closest person is God's Mighty Warrior. Jawayatightens the grip and Super D's face contorts in pain. He fights his way up, but is unable to shake off the persistent Jimmie. With his left hand, he stretches and reaches to the corner, where God's Mighty Warrior makes the tag.)
Will: "Woah, looks like a freight train just got loose!" (Warrior rumbles into the ring and clotheslines Jawaya. Super D quickly rolls out and takes up station in the corner. Jawayafinds himself being picked up and Gorilla Press Slammed. Frustrated, he lashes out with a snap kick that catches God's Mighty Warrior in the shin. Warrior stumbles back in pain and surprise.) "Hah! Never underestimate a good rookie! Jawaya's got Warrior's number now. He's back up and stomping away, trying to hit Warrior in the feet. Heh...looks like the two are dancing a jig or something. Oooh, Warrior just grabbed Jawaya and threw him into the corner. Jimmie makes a tag to Super D, and D calmly enters the ring. It looks like he and the Warriorare having a staredown!" (On the PA, Murdock makes his hopes known by playing the theme from Superman. Super D locks gazes with God's Mighty Warrior, then lifts a hand and points at him. He bounces himself off the ropes and launches himself full bore into Warrior, but doesn't budge him. Warrior chuckles, then bounces himself off the ropes and charges into Super D. Amazingly, Super D doesn't budge either! The two look startled, then bounce themselves off the ropes to crash into each other one more time. Neither can make a dent on the other!)
BA: "Wow, those guys are showin' some serious brawn!"
Rusty: "Yep, and it looks like a test of strength in the ring as Super D and God's Mighty Warrior are trying to force each other to his knees. Look at them...muscles straining, teeth clenched..neither of them willing to give an inch. Haven't seen a match like this in a long time." (God's Mighty Warrior and Super D let go as they realize they aren't getting anywhere. In desperation, God's Mighty Warrior points to his chin and taps it a few times. Catching on, Super D rears back and lets loose with a right that rocks Warrior back. Warrior shakes his head a bit, then takes his turn. Super D gets knocked back a little, but still stays on his feet. Amazed, the two just stare at each other in the ring, then shake hands.)
Hannibal: "All right, let's see if we can't break this up a bit. All four wrestlers are now allowed in the ring at once." (Super D looks surprised, but barely has time to do anything before Jimmie Jawaya leaps off the top again and sends them both over the top rope. Meanwhile Felix Flick is lashing out with a flurry of kicks that drive Warrior back. Warrior lashes out trying to make a grab, but Flick ducks it and turns it into a Cobra Clutch. Then he quickly turns it into a Side Russian Leg Sweep and Warrior is down! Flick locks on an ankle lock and squeezes for all he's worth..and amazingly, Warrior taps out!
Will: "Flick did it! He found God's Mighty Warrior's Achilles heel, his one weakness!"
BA: "Shut up fool, it was luck and you know it. Hannibal, those WOTO suckas didn't show, so let's get outta here before Colnel Decker catches us on the tube." The A-Team quickly re-assembles in the van and drives off as the four wrestlers swap congratulations on their ways up the ramp.