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Armadillo Pope and Captain Salad vs Hard Hat Henderson and Wildcard - Little Orphan Orangutan Adoption Program |
Will: "Well fans, it seems as if things are back under control tonight. We've got patrols searching the building, so if WOTO does make another appearance, we will know about it. Meanwhile, let's get back to ringside and get settled in as the next match is about to start. This is a unique matchup, a Tag Team Lumberjack match."
Rusty: "Yeah, it'll be interesting, I can say that for sure. The lumberjacks are all members of CHAOS, who have been invited here at the request of Justin Williams."
Will: "Uh...Rusty? Some of these guys look a little...weird." Rusty: "Stick to your duty soldier. That's an order." (Taking Care Of Business blasts on the PA as Hard Hat Henderson and Wildcard come down to ringside. Then the theme from Captain Planet plays as Captain Salad and Armadillo Pope make ther way down to the ring.)
Will: "Hmm..looks like this team is already off to a bad start. I'm no expert on body language, but it doesn't look like Captain Salad is too terribly happy with the Pope right now." (They get in the ring and Salad trips on Pope's robes.)
Rusty: "Woah! Salad just pushed the Pope angrily, and it looks like he's accusing him of tripping him!"
Will: "Armadillo Pope's not taking that lightly, he's just taken his armadillo shell brazier and whopped Salad across the head! Henderson and Wildcard are completely at a loss, they're not sure what the heck to do!" (Henderson and Wildcard have stopped scratching their heads and shrug at each other. They climb out of the ring and stand on the apron as extra lumberjacks.)
Rusty: "Salad tackles the Pope and they go crashing down in a tangle of arms and legs. Salad straddles the Pope and is flailing away with his impressive ...7 inch biceps."
Will: "The Pope pushes Salad off him and stands up! Woah, Rasta the Voodoo Monjust shoved the Pope in the back, and caused him to trip on his robes!" (Captain Salad strikes a Hulk Hogan pose as the fans struggle to see his toothpick frame through the wrestlers around the ring. He turns around and gets a picher of yellow goo dumped on him by Inga The Goddess of Eggnog. Blinded, he turns and staggers into a savate kick from the Armadillo Pope.)
Rusty: "And the Pope has taken the upper hand with that shot to the head! He's dousing some holy water from that brazier of his on his fallen opponent and preparing to administer Last Rites!"
Will: "I wouldn't count Salad out right yet...while Pope is unsteadily climbing the turnbuckle, Captain Salad has regained some consciousness and has rolled away from the corner." (Pope turns and sees that his target is now up, and he's...he's going for it anyway! Summoning all his strength, he leaps and flies through the air....and lands a full foot short of Captain Salad. The impact is enough to send Salad back into the arms of "Big Japan" Tubusashi Kenjimojo, who tosses Salad like a rag doll back into the ring. Meanwhile, Armadillo Pope is gasping for air and Justine Williams is cheering her heart out.)
Rusty: "Captain Salad is going for the jugular here....he hoists the Pope up into a Lex Luger Rack...he's wobbling around like a fratboy on Saturday night, but it looks like Pope is suffering..."
Will: "He's not suffering, he's laughing! And Captain Salad finally dropped him and collapsed from exhaustion!"
Rusty: "Pope was expecting that...now he's locked on some strange kind of headlock/sleeperhold." (Which he lets go of abruptly as El Mexidore the Mexican Jumping Bean gooses him. Armadillo Pope gets up to complain, and starts in on El Mexidore. He realizes his error, however, as Captain Salad rolls him up in a reverse cradle...1..2...3!)
Will: "Well, that was definitely interesting. I wonder if that Inga person has any eggnog left?"