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The Big Kahuna, Sammi Curr, and Black Venum Stevie Rachelle vs. Bill Barnard, Lee Howe, Craig Gerbert-Delta Animal Protection Shelter |
Will: "Folks, this has been an unbelievable night of action! So far we've seen four rough and tumble matches, but those were only the undercards. Now we're getting into the middle part of our setup and it's only going to get bigger from here on out!"
Rusty: "Will, you hit the nail right on the head. This next match is bound to be a real slobberknocker, as some of TUFF's "rookies" get in the ring with the old guard."
Will: "And not only that, the six men in the ring are going to be trapped! That's right, it's a Rookies vs Legends Six Man Tag Cage Match! Who's in the lineup?"
Rusty: "Lee Howe and Craig Gerbert will be in there along with the man that started it all, Bill Barnard! On the Rookies side, there's the young and talented squad of Sammi Currand Black Venum Stevie Rachelle. Last, joining them for a special one-time post-retirement appearance will be The Big Kahuna."
Will: "Kahuna? How's he doing these days anyway?"
Rusty: "I hear he's enjoying his retirement and plans to stay that way. Last I heard, he wasn't even in the building."
Will: "Rusty, I have to say that I think these Rookies are going to pull out a victory here tonight. Craig and Lee are already banged up from their last match, and how can Bill forget he's got a matchup with the Jammer later tonight? It may be 2 on 3, but I think they'll pull out the victory!"
Rusty: "I don't know about that, Will. These Rookies are tough and can run with anyone, sure. But Barnard, Howe, and Gerbert have been working together forever." (Camera switches to the ring, where Barnard, Howe, and Gerbert are already assembled. Howe, at 6'10" and Barnard at 7'1" tower over the 5'10" Gerbert, but he is as ready as any of the rest of them. In the crowd, there are dozens of "SHL-The Legends Reign" posters being waved around. The three are wearing their SHL Six Man Belts and are watching the rampway intensely. (The Jumbotron lights up and on screen, Sammi Curr and Black Venum Stevie Rachelle are backstage with TUFF STUFF II's Colby "Crossfire" Blair
Sammi: "Hey, if ya ask me, this match is gonna prove just how far TUFF has come since its humble beginning! Barnard, Gerbert, and Howe are three of the biggest names in six man history, not to mention the foundation of this great stable! Us rookies are gonna give it our all for this one, but rest assured, whether we win or lose, with the six men involved, you know a show like this can't disappoint!"
Stevie: "Man, I am so psyched for this bout! I've been looking forward to the chance to work with Kahuna...the two of us are fresh young talent just waiting to show the fans what we can do, and this is the chance! And who knows? Maybe Kahuna will consider a return to action soon (could sure use help in the JIL!)" (The two leave for the ring. As they get closer and closer down the ramp, they look around as if expecting someone. At first the crowd is wildly enthusiastic, but they die down a bit as no third person comes out and the immenent possibility of a real manhandling increases.)
Will: "I think my guys are having second thoughts....they sure don't look as happy as they did two minutes ago! Come on guys, don't give it up now!"
Rusty: "Negative. They just stepped in the ring and the ref is calling for the cage to be lowered. Well Will, looks like this may just become a handicap match after all. No one looks particularly happy about it, but there's some things you just can't..." (He is cut off as fireworks shoot off from the top of the entrance ramp and a guy steps out of the shadows. He stops to sniff the air, and as the smoke clears you can see that he's holding a jewelled microphone in one hand.
Kahuna: "I was enjoying my retirement on this nice little South Pacific island when I got the call! Took me all night to get here, but I guess that it's time I shook the dust off the old boots one more time! Finally...the Great One has Come Back to Cleveland!" (The fans pop huge as he tosses the mic aside and sprints down the ramp, just clearing the lower edge of the cage! He's up and is going toe-to-toe with Bill Barnard!)
Will: "Wow! Look at that! Barnard's getting rocked back on his heels with those rights! Kahuna's taking the early offense, and Barnard gets backed up against the ropes!" (Kahunachanges to making knife chops to the chest. Then he grabs behind the head and tries to throw Barnard to the mat with a modified judo throw. Barnard resists, and Kahuna tries again. Barnard blocks a second time, but then gets hammered as Sammi Curr leaps off the top with a missle dropkick. Kahuna yanks a third time and Bill crashes to the mat. Kahuna tags in Rachelle quickly, who nails a falling axehandle to Barnard's ribs. The tag comes again, and this time Sammi Curr lands a falling headbutt.)
Will: "That's it, work him, work him! Use the speed you guys have!"
Rusty: "Smart moves on the rookies parts. They're going to have to be smart and keep this up." (Barnard has gotten back to his feet. Sammi scoots around behind Barnard and gets on his hands and knees. From the corner, Kahuna swings a wild punch that Barnard steps back to dodge. He trips over Sammi and again crashes to the mat! Sammi scrambles out and locks on an anklehold, but Barnard easily grabs the ropes and Sammi lets go. Sammi tags to Rachelle, who steps in and waits for Barnard to get halfway back up. He bounces himself off the ropes....and nails a perfect bicycle kick! Again, Barnard finds himself getting friendly with the mat.)
Will: "Those rookies are doing well; they've managed to isolate one opponent in their corner and are taking turns working him over. Barnard's got to get himself away from that corner." (Barnard struggles up one more time and barely glimpses Rachelle waiting on the top rope. Rachelle launches himself with a cross body, but Bill catches him and staggers a bit. Then he runs full tilt into the cage, using Rachelle as a buffer.)
Rusty: "Oooohh, bet that leaves marks in the morning! Barnard's now tossing Rachelleinto the corner, knocking over Sammi Curr! Meanwhile Barnard turns and makes the tag to Craig Gerbert. Craig sprints in and hauls Stevie back into the ring feet first! Gerbert grabs Stevie in a side headlock....Whoa, he just railroaded him into the turnbuckle!") Gerbert tags in Lee Howe, who steps over the top rope getting in. Lee Irish Whips Stevie into the ropes, then lays down for the return as Stevie leaps over him...and gets dropkicked in the face from Gerbert! Lee's back up and grabs Stevie from behind...holds him up...and drops a reverse Jackhammer into the small of Stevie's back.
Will: "Argh! Stevie's writhing in pain there, he really needs to make a tag! The Big Kahuna starts clapping, trying to get the fans into a rythymn here. Stevie is crawling over to his corner, but Lee hauls him up over a shoulder....he goes for the ram right into the cage...but Stevie shakes out and pushes Lee into the cage instead! Lee's staggering back...Stevie dives to make the tag and Kahuna comes rushing in! Kahuna slips under the clothesline and grabs Lee Howe...Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! He did it, Lee's down! There's the count...one, two, thr..and Lee kicks out with authority! But oh, it was a squeaker!"
Rusty: "Looks like Lee's not too happy here. He just elbowed Kahuna in the gut, forcing him to back off. Lee's getting back into this thing....he and Kahuna lock up, and there's the DDT!" (Lee grabs Kahuna's ankles and starts a Giant Swing..he lets go and Kahuna goes flying through the cage! A whole chunk of the cage has ripped out as Kahuna rolls around on the concrete. Lee is standing in the ring with a shocked look on his face, and Sammi Currjumps out of the ring to check on Kahuna. With no choice, the ref begins his count....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8..at 8, Kahuna weakly pulls himself back into the ring. He is bruised and battered.)
Will: "Man, he gets tossed through a cage and he still gets up? What did this guy eat for breakfast?"
Rusty: (darkly) "What I intend to find out is why that cage fell apart like that. It shouldn't have done that from one impact..."
Will: "Be that as it may be, the fight is halting as the ref is calling for a medical official..wait, what the heck?" (On the Jumbotron, a dark figure appears. He is in the control room apparently, and it looks as if he has knocked out the engineers.) He speaks with a distorted voice: "So TUFF, it seems as if our little plan has succeeded! We've just culled the weak from your pack for you, aren't you going to thank us? (At this, Kahuna stands back up and steps forward, but almost collapses into the arms of Curr and Howe.) "HAHAHAHAHA!! Look at you pathetic fools, banding together to help each other and your stupid charities!! When the WOTO gets done with you, there won't be anything left for your moronic fans to cheer!" Will: "WOTO? Did he say WOTO is here?"
Rusty: "They may be here now, but they won't be much longer." (Bill, Craig, Sammi, and Stevie Rachelle all sprint up the ramp with the darkest of intentions. Stevie reaches the control room first and kicks the door down. Inside, the control engineers are starting to wake up, but whoever the dark figure was is gone. In the ring, the ref calls the match a draw as The Big Kahuna hobbles back to the locker room with some help from Lee Howe.)