Valhalla and The Sheriff vs Mike and Steve O'Donils - Muscular Dystrophy

Will: "This match could be a real washout tonight. The O'Donils are a solid tag team, they've been working together for years! Meanwhile, neither Valhalla nor The Sheriff has yet to break .500, although there has been some definite improvement as of late. Rusty, what's your take?" (Mike O'Donils' number one hit from 1997 "Friends in Strange Places" plays as the powerfully built Texans make their way to the ring.)

Rusty: "Actually Will, I'm not going to comment on this match. I was asked to be the special guest referee and I'm going to remain neutral about this. See you afterwards." (Rustygets up and climbs into the ring, shaking hands as the former GBL 6 man tag team of terror is reunited.)

Will: "Well....I wonder who's going to be working with me for this match?" (As he finishes, a flashing light appears near the announcers table and a telephone booth pops into existence. Out come two young teenagers who see the announcer and line up in attempt to be formal.

Blond: "Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and this is Ted "Theodore" Logan!

Ted: "And together, we are Wyld Stallyns!" (The two jam on imaginary air guitars.) "Hey dude, looks like the band is set up over there. Let's go and see if they want to jam!"

Bill: "Most excellent, my compadre. Oh, dude (talking to Will) there's a guy we went back to 1987 and picked up for you; he's still in the phone booth. You might want to get him out before you do your thing...." (the two head for the band stage.) Will: "Hmm, I wonder what this is all about. Well, let's see who they brought...." (He starts to get up, but the door gets pushed open suddenly from the inside and out stumbles Hulk Hogan in all his red and yellow glory.)

Hulk: "Whatcha gonna do, brutha, when these 27 inch Pythons sit down beside you!?!?" (He flexes for the crowd and they go wild as they realize that they are in the presence of one of the greatest fan favorites of all time. He sits and the chair creaks a little, but holds.)

Will: "Well, this is quite a surprise Mr. Hogan! You came all the way from the 1980's just to call a match with yours truly? Man, wait ‘til the guys back home hear about this!"

Hulk: "Brutha, don't flatter yourself. I'm here ‘cause this is the ultimate fan favorite showcase and I am one of the ultimate fan favorites of all time. I got little Hulkamaniacs all over the world drinking their milk, taking their vitamins, and saying their prayers so one day they can be like me! Once the guys that were organizing this event got a hold of me, I couldn't say no! That'd be as wrong as me wearing shades, dark clothes, and a painted on black beard!" (Just then, the sound of alpenhorns playing a funeral dirge erupt from the speakers and Valhalla and The Sheriff come to the ring.) "Whoa brutha, this Valhalla dude looks to be pretty big. Don't know what that Sheriff guy is doing here though..looks kinda small to be a wrestler." (Will is saved from having to explain the concept of cruiserweights as the bell rings.)

Will: "Looks like Valhalla and Mike O'Donils will be going at it first. Here's the lockup, and Mike gets in a quick boot to Valhalla's midsection! Follows up with a few punches and an armdrag takedown. But Valhalla is just staring at Mike as he futilely tries to drag the 6'10" Viking down!" (Valhalla looks curiously at Mike yanking and straining. He then turns and whips his arm around, sending Mike flying into a corner. Mike is more surprised than hurt, and launches himself off the second rope catching Valhalla around the midesction. Again, he is stopped short as he realizes the giant Viking is going nowhere. He looks up and sees a smiling Valhalla, just before a ham-like fist comes crashing down on him.)

Hulk: "Man, that had to hurt brutha! Looks like Mike is gonna have to find another way around the big guy-brute force isn't going to cut it!" (In one part of the stands, a fan has pulled out one of those obnoxious plastic horns and is blowing on it. Valhalla is continuing his assault on Mike-he throws Mike off the ropes and lifts him in the air before tossing the guy in the corner in front of Steve O'Donils. The O'Donils make the tag and Steve quickly steps in. He charges and ducks a clothesline while rolling into a scissors! Valhalla waves his hands around trying to keep his balance, bur falls over backwards with a resounding crash!)

Will: "Valhalla definitely seems to be the strongest wrestler in the ring, but he's none too clever when it comes to strategy. Then again, he thinks he's the last descendant of Beowulf and his duty is to slay the Grendel when it appears again! I think the poor sap's been out on the ocean too long!"

Hulk: "You wanna say that a little louder, brutha? I don't think the guys in the bleacher seats heard you. Steve's got Valhalla down and it looks like he's trying some stretching submission move..maybe a small package or something like that....Valhalla's just too big, brutha, you got too much arm and leg to grab hold of!" (Steve apparently realizes the same thing and gives up on his attempt. Instead, he switches to a front headlock and uses his weight to keep Valhalla down. Valhalla, never one to give up, is fighting for all he's worth and he's made it back to one knee. Steve desperately tries to shift his weight, but Valhalla rears up with a bellow and drops the younger O'Donils over his back. Turning, he glares at Steve, grabs the smaller man behind the head, and drags him over the his corner. There, he bellows again and slams Steve's head into the top turnbuckle. He bellows again and slams Steve's head again...and again...and again...until Rusty steps in with the ten count and breaks it up. Valhalla tags in The Sheriff, who drop kicks the dazed Steve.)

Will: "Wow....it seems as if Valhalla and The Sheriff are really putting up an effort tonight! The O'Donils have had no answer to these young stars' offense. The Sheriff has just heaved and hauled Steve up into a fireman's carry...no, it's a Samoan Drop! Sheriff back up again and off the ropes with an elbow drop! Now Steve is getting up slowly....The Sheriff goes for the Hurricanrana! And Steve reverses it into a tilt-a-whirl slam! Amazing! Both wrestlers are down, and Rusty looks like..yes, he's starting the ten count!" (In the ring, both The Sheriff and Steve O'Donils are laid out on the mat. The Sheriff looks like he's had the wind knocked out of him while Steve O'Donils is panting, trying to get his second wind.)

Hulk: "Steve's really got to make a tag here. The dude doesn't look too healthy."

Will: "Rusty's now up to six, and both wrestlers have gotten back up. Steve turns to make the tag but The Sheriff is too fast and manages to make the tackle from behind!" (The Sheriff drags Steve away from the corner and sets up for a Texas Cloverleaf, but Steve lashes out with a kick and knocks The Sheriff away. Steve gets up and clotheslines The Sheriff, who has bounced off the ropes. Steve hauls Sheriff up and drops him in an Atomic Drop. Sheriffgoes flying, but Steve follows up with a quick cradle move.)

Rusty: "One...two.." (The Sheriff shakes out at two.) Hulk: "The momentum sure changed fast here, brutha. Now it looks like the experience of the O'Donils is paying off big time!" (Steve grabs Sheriff by the collar and hauls him to a corner. There he sets up and Irish whips Sheriff into the far turnbuckle. Sheriff manages to counter before he hits the turnbuckle, grabbing onto the top ropes and jumping, hoping to catch Steve as he comes charging in. Steve stops just out of range and waits for The Sheriff to turn around. Sheriff surprises him by pushing himself off the turnbuckle and ramming Steve full speed backwards. Steve gets bowled over as The Sheriff trips and gets sprawled out. He recovers just as Steve gets back up and heads for the corner to make the tag.)

Will: "Steve's making a beeline for Mike in the corner, but The Sheriff isn't about to let that happen! He's just leaped on the back of Steve and locked on his finisher, the Desert Sunset! But it's too late, the tag was made!" (The Sheriff is unaware, but he has enough to contend with as Steve rakes a heel down Sheriff's shin. Sheriff lets go reflexively and hops around on one boot. He turns and barely glimpses Steve rolling out of the way. A shadow looms, and as Sherifflooks up, he sees Mike O'Donils in mid-air doing The Bomb. Mike cannonballs into The Sheriff.)

Hulk: "Wow brutha, now that HAD to hurt! The ref's getting in there as Mike goes for the pin."

Rusty: "One...two...three!" (Valhalla bellows in rage and storms into the ring. He stops short as The Sheriff pushes himself off the mat with help from Mike. Sheriff: (coughing) "Don't worry pardner. We've got these guys' number, we'll get them next time. ‘Til then, a fair fight's a fair fight." (He sticks his hand out and Steve shakes it. Miketurns to Valhalla and his arm gets engulfed in the warrior's clasp.)

Hulk: "Brutha, that was a heckuva matchup there. Woulda been better if I'd been in there, but still it was pretty good. Hey, gotta go, looks like my ride's here." (Bill and Ted are on their way back down the ramp.)

Bill: "That was heinous, dude! They wouldn't even let us touch their stuff!"

Ted: "Bogus, dude. Let's get out of here and go somewhere they appreciate our music!" (The three enter the phone booth, and it winks out of existence.)

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