|
Brass Monkey vs. Secret Opponent (note that I am completely winging it for Brass Monkey's character...okay Dennis?) |
Will: "Well Rusty, I have to say that it's been quite a night so far for these TUFF stars. The fans are really getting their money's worth! But now, we've got a match featuring Brass Monkey, one of the most well traveled members of TUFF!"
Rusty: "That's right Will, the Monkey's been all over the world and wrestled in more places than he cares to remember. It's that experience that gives him an edge...no matter what you try to do to him, he's probably seen it before."
Will: "One of the advantages of being in the United Nations League before it went broke....anyway, here comes the man of the hour now! (Rocktober Blood launches into a brief version of "Monkey Business" as Brass Monkey makes his way down to the ring. He enters and grabs a microphone and begins to speak....greetings in seven different languages.)
Brass: "Hola my fans! I see that you are all come here to witness me in action! Isn't that lovely? But it seems that I am all dressed up and have nowhere to go! Now there must be someone in the back who will come and fight with me....anyone?" (He waits, and waits....just as he is about to give up, the lights go out. After a few seconds, they come back on and the Rat Pack is standing behind Brass Monkey. Brass Monkey is unaware of the intruder.) "Oh, I did not know that we had moved to California. Americans, I say sayonara." (Just before he turns, the Rat Pack slaps on a headlock and begins pummeling away with fists to the head.)
Will: "Where did the Pack come from? I swear, I was sitting right here and it was like he just appeared out of nowhere!"
Rusty: "He was under the ring the whole time! I saw those guys building it last night, and you've been here all day....he must have been in there since yesterday! And he's used the element of surprise to get the drop on Brass Monkey!" (In the ring, Rat Pack has stopped hammering away and is now bouncing Brass Monkey off the ropes. He turns the lunge into a bulldog as the fans go crazy.)
Will: "Brass Monkey definitely is getting the worst of it here. He's trying to roll out of the ring to get his bearings, but Rat Pack is keeping him inside! Oh, that almost took Brass Monkey's head off!" (Rat Pack has just launched himself off the top and connected with a flying clothesline.) "He's going for the early cover...and gets rejected as Brass Monkey gets the shoulder up!"
Rusty: "Monkey's not going to go down that easily."
Will: "Rat Pack still in control as he tows Brass Monkey over to the corner and executes a Samoan Butt-Drop....someone ought to tell this guy that he needs to be a few hundred pounds heavier for that to work."
Rusty: "YOU can tell him. Meanwhile, it looks as if Rat Pack is still giving Brass Monkey fits..he's setting him up for a suplex in the middle of the ring. He hoists....and Brass Monkey shakes his legs to block the move. Up again...and rejected again! Brass Monkey heaves this time and Rat Pack lands on his back! What a reversal!" (Brass Monkey has turned and is now stomping away at the Rat Pack. He stops and bounces off the ropes, landing a knee to the gut of the Pack. Rat Pack rolls over in pain and Brass Monkey unleashes an elbow to the kidney, and another! Rat Pack fights his way up and gets thrown against the ropes. He turns and gets a Superkick to the jaw! The Rat Pack falls against the ropes and immediately gets tangled in them.)
Will: "Looks like Rat Pack is in some pain....maybe one of those kidney shots did some real damage!"
Rusty: "Maybe, but the Pack's no stranger to pain. The guy's been through rehab for a knee he busted up about a year ago....came through with flying colors. Me and some of the other training camp guys worked on him and he was as good as new in half the time it would have taken someone else. Trust me...the guy's got Moxie."
Will: "Well, it doesn't seem to be helping much here. Rat Pack has slumped out of the ropes after more stomps from Brass Monkey. Monkey is now applying a South American Brazilian Jujutsu Armbar, and the Rat Pack looks like he's about to pass out!" (Rat Pack's face is contorted with pain as he strains for the rope with his free hand. It's just a couple of inches out of reach....until Rat Pack screams and with an almost audible pop, you can see his shoulder dislocate. His unharmed arm reaches out and grasps the rope like a lifeline. With no choice, Brass Monkey relinquishes the hold. The Rat Pack stands slowly, never turning away from Monkey. With a quick grimace, he slams his shoulder into the post and relocates his shoulder. In pain but still standing, he glares at Brass Monkey and makes a "Come on" gesture.) "Unbelievable! He just dislocated his own shoulder and is still wanting this match to go on!"
Rusty: "I think Brass Monkey is a little taken by surprise! He seems reluctant to charge in, now he's asking the ref to check on the Pack. But the Pack waves the ref off and repeats the gesture!"
Will: "Well, Brass Monkey's never been one to not finish a job, and it looks like he doesn't plan on starting now! He comes at the Rat Pack with a quick kick to the gut, then he hooks up for a Stunner! But the Pack just pushed Monkey away!" (The Rat Pack slides in for a Side Russian Leg Sweep and hits it. They lay there for a second, then the Rat Pack slips his legs around Brass Monkey's torso and squeezes! It's a Scissors grip!)
Rusty: "Smart move on the Pack's part. He can't use his left arm, so he'll use his legs as much as possible! With all that rehab he went through, the guy's legs are hard as rocks." (In the ring, Brass Monkey is slowly losing consciousness as the air is squeezed from him. He waves his arms, trying to crawl to the ropes but they are too far. The crowd chants: "Mon-key! Mon- key!" The ref steps in and holds up one of Monkey's arms...it drops. He repeats it...and it drops again. One more time..and it holds! But the Rat Pack gives a final squeeze and Brass Monkey's arm falls.)
Will: "That's it! The ref is signaling that Brass Monkey is unconscious and can no longer compete in this matchup! The winner is the Rat Pack!! What a match! Brass Monkey gave as well as he got, but that initial barrage from the Rat Pack was just too much for him to overcome!"
Rusty: "Yeah, you've just seen what sneakiness can do. But give me a straight match, and Brass Monkey will clean anyone's clock."