Will: "Rusty, I understand that the IWA famous Jumping Joey Magnolia is scheduled to come out and do a little promo tonight. It's sort of a treat for both the new fans here and for some of his older fans that have been waiting for him to officially get tired of being retired!"

Rusty: "Uh-huh...there've been a lot of rumors lately about this guy making a possible return, and we can now officially say that he's definitely making a comeback. That's right, the rumors are now confirmed...Jumping Joey Magnolia has returned to action and he's making a fresh start in TUFF! Hey, here he comes now! (Joey Magnolia enters and stands at the top of the entrance ramp. He just stands there for a minute, letting the sound of the audience's cheers wash over him. He grins, almost sheepishly, then heads for the ring. There, he rolls in and grabs a microphone.)

Joey: "Guys, you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that! (Crowd roars.) I'm sorry that I had to leave you guessing these past few months....there were a lot of times I almost didn't come back. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, you see. But there were so many times where I'd be grocery shopping, or online, or waiting in line to get Baltimore Ravens tickets and some fan would come up to me and ask me when I was coming back. I even had one guy tell me that "Jumping Joey Magnolia IS wrestling," and although I'm not conceited enough to believe it, it's still nice to hear. But what brought me back? Simple....just watch and see..." (The lights go down and the Jumbotron flashes to life....)

(Jumping Joey Magnolia former BRL/GBL star walks through a run down part of town in Baltimore. He sees old men sipping bottles out of brown bags, young boys hustling in dark alleys, and a man running from his wife who is wielding a baseball bat) "Yesterday's men have given birth to a throw a way generation. It's not uncommon news, wives abusing husbands, young boys hustling in alleys to make money to survive on, men whose fathers abandoned them as young children leaving them without a positive male influence in their lives. But the Men's Outreach Center is striving to make a difference. It's time men got the help they needed. And with this event the Men's Outreach Center hopes to open another clinic to reach even more men today then they did yesterday. It's time we made a difference.")

"This event, and TUFF in particular, is giving me the chance to give back to the community. I've been given a second chance to make a difference, and I'm taking it for all it's worth! Let's get this show on the road!"

("Over the Mountain" by Ozzy Ozbourne begins to play and Tazzberry Blue makes his appearance. He walks down to the ring wearing ripped jeans, a ripped band T-shirt, and black hair. He steps in the ring as most of the female fans in the crowd go crazy.)

James Earl Jones: "With a combined weight of 362 pounds, Tazzberry Blue and Jumping Joey Magnolia! Their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 568 pounds, Lee Howe and Craig Gerbert!" (The 6'10" Howe and 5'10" Gerbert first look like a comically mismatched pair, but as they come down the ring it is apparent that these men have worked together before. Gerbert starts off against Magnolia.)

Will: "Lots of action promised for this match here! None of these guys are strangers to the IWA report, but you have to admit that the team of "Blue Magnolias" is giving up a lot of size to the 6'10" Howe. (Tazzberry and Gerbert have locked up and Gerbert powers Tazzberry into a neutral corner. There he lets loose with a couple of chest chops.)

Rusty: "That's true, but the size of your opponent doesn't always determine who wins and loses. Don't let his size fool you, Tazzberry's got one heck of a winning streak. He's been wrestling for years, he only just turned pro when he hit 18." (Gerbert has stopped the chest chops and bounces Tazzberry off the ropes. He swings with a mighy clothesline, but Tazzberryslides in under Gerbert's legs and leaps up behind him. Gerbert turns and finds himself being thrown into the ropes. He bounces out and catches a flying clothesline from Tazzberry that floors him.

Tazzberry: "Now THAT'S the way you do a clothesline!" (Tazzberry follows up with a quick legdrop, then a couple of stomps. He pulls Gerbert up and starts chopping him into the corner. He makes a quick tag to Magnolia, who leaps into the fray and suplexes Gerbert. Magnolia gets up and walks over to Gerbert's head, but Gerbert kicks out and executes a rolling scissors. Gerbert, still shaky, gets up and greets Magnolia with a lariat. Magnolia takes it standing up, and Gerbert dropkicks him into his corner. He tags in Lee Howe, who grabs Magnolia from behind and drives a massive fist into his chest.)

Will: "Wow! Did you see that! I can't believe Magnolia took that! And look-Lee's stepping over all three ropes to get into the ring! (Lee throws Magnolia off one rope and scoops him up into a sidewalk slam. Up again, and Howe answers with a thunderous bodyslam. Howe grabs Magnolia's ankles and starts swinging-it's a giant swing, and when he lets go, Magnolia rolls to a stop on his side.)

Rusty: "Looks like Magnolia's got a little ring rust to work through. I know he's been working out intensively, but there's just no substitute for real matches. The Blue Magnolias have got to isolate one of their opponents and wear him down...but first they need to get back into this thing!" (Lee Howe picks up Magnolia and applies a crushing bear hug. Face contorted in pain, Magnolia struggles against the grip to no avail. Howerams him into the corner post a couple of times for good measure.)

Will: "Looks like Magnolia's fading fast here. He can barely keep his arms up...and now the ref is stepping in to count." (Half the crowd starts chanting "Jo-ey! Jo-ey! Jo-ey!" while the other half is screaming for the Side Driver, Lee's finishing move. Tazzberry is pounding on the turnbuckle, while Gerbert is getting ready to block a run-in.The ref picks up one of Joey's arms and drops it. He does so again for two. Then he picks it up a third time and lets go. The arm hovers and the crowd chanting for Magnolia gets louder. Joey Magnolia yells and thumbs Lee in the eye. Lee staggers back and lets go. Magnolia follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. He gets up and tries to deliver a falling axehandle, but Lee reaches up and grabs Magnolia around the throat. Magnoliahas a surprised look as Howe gets back up in preparation for a chokeslam. Just as he's about to hoist Magnolia, Magnolia thumbs Lee's other eye! Magnolia turns and tags in Tazzberry, who launches himself in and starts pounding Lee with lefts. Lee takes the shots with no visible effect and glares at Tazzberry, who is taken aback a little. Then he shrugs, drops to one knee, and low blows Lee, who topples over with a tremendous crash. A collective groan arises from the audience.)

Rusty: "That move right there will cut just about anyone down to size! And there's the pin! 1...2...Th..no, no, Lee tosses Tazzberry off of him like he weighs nothing. Will, I think they just made Lee mad!"

Will: "Mad or not, he should still make the tag and give himself a break. He wasted a lot of power moves on Magnolia and now the big man's got nothing left for the little guy." (Tazzberry has just taken Lee down again with a snap mare and is climbing the rope. He sets himself, then launches a missle dropkick that knocks Lee Howe down again. Another pin, this one broken by Lee getting his foot up on the rope.)

Rusty: "Lee's just not the type to give up, Will. You can pound him all you want, but the guy just keeps finding ways to get up. Look here, Tazzberry's raining blows down on him and Lee's not even feeling it." (Tazzberry sets himself and tries to stop Lee from making the tag, but it's like trying to stop a waterfall. Lee slowly fights his way to the corner and tags in Gerbert. Craig dives in and starts hammering away at Tazzberry, who has no answer to Gerbert's fury. Gerbert connects with a DDT, a scoop slam, and finally a powerbomb. Craig bends over to do another devestating move when Tazzberry rolls him up in a cradle!)

Will: "Where'd that come from?" (The ref gets a one count before Craig wrenches himself free. It's all the time Tazzberry needs to scramble back to his corner and make the tag to Magnolia, who steps in with a dangerous looking gleam in his eye. He calls for a test of strength, and Craig agrees. The two lock up in the ring, both trying to force the other to his knees. All of a sudden, Magnolia lets go and headbutts Gerbert.He follows up with another one, then launches Gerbert off the ropes. It's a knee to the midsection, and Gerbert gets flipped around in midair. Magnolia stops long enough to tag in Tazzberry, who climbs the ropes, albeit unsteadily.)

Rusty: "Looks like this could be it.....Lee's still slumped over in his corner, but Tazzberry's having some problems making it to the top rope!" (Indeed, Tazzberry is struggling to maintain his balance. In the ring, Magnolia has rolled Gerbert into a Scorpion Deathlock. Gerbert is on the verge of powering out when Tazzberry falls off the top and squashes Gerbert and Magnolia. The ref begins counting..1...2....3!) Will: "And there you have it folks. Tazzberry Blue and Jumping Joey Magnolia pick up the win in a battle that took everything they had! For all you Gerbert and Howe fans out there, fret not. They'll be back later in the broadcast with another match, this one in a steel cage."

Rusty: "Now that Craig and Lee are warmed up, they'll be good to go for later on. Don't look at me like that Will, I know the kind of shape these guys are in. I set up their training, remember? As for Jumping Joey Magnolia, he showed that he still has a lot of heart. Give him some more matches, and the man just might experience a renaissance in his wrestling career. Tazzberry Blue, well, we saw what the kid can do. Quick on his feet, not afraid to get sneaky to win....if we can just speed up his growth spurt, he'll be fine."

Return to Home