A Prelude to My "Ism"
My mother and my father and all my grandparents but my maternal grandmother are Catholic. I was baptized and raised Catholic. I attended Sunday school 1st-5th grades, hated it thoroughly, and complained constantly, though for the life of me I cannot remember any reason why. I attended a family Sunday school class in 7th and 8th grades and only then took an interest in God. I learned a lot in those two years, though not enough, and I was confirmed at 13, not really sure why.
I attended youth group regularly through my four years of high school. Sometime in 9th grade, I finally recognized my faith for what it was, pledged my life to God of my own will, and established a strong, lasting relationship with him. This was also the year my mother nearly died in a traffic accident and according to the doctors, survived only through divine intervention.
Around 11th grade, my faith in the Church waned significantly, probably because I had my first serious boyfriend and discovered my sexuality and that it was unacceptable to the Church for me to do what I wanted with my life. Introduce guilt, the cornerstone of Catholicism, into my daily life. Doubt followed closely behind, and my strength of faith has danced all over the place since then.
I moved away from the religious influence of my family and had more freedom to choose how, when, and if I should worship, and discover why as well. I learned that my primary reason for attending church so regularly was to so my friends. That sounds bad, but I didn't see them to distract me from mass but because I loved and cared for them. I only go to church now when I'm at home or when I feel like it during the week at school. I work hard now to distinguish between what I believe and what I've been taught, and if I can learn to do that, I will also choose a way to worship.