Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Alright, I know this is kinda long, but I promise you it's interesting, deep, and insightful, so I really hope you'll take the time to read it all.
I have 2 points in here somewhere: 1) Why should there be an afterlife? and 2) Why are human tendencies innately evil?
Why is it downright "sinful" to do what we're naturally apt to do- seek material wealth, immaterial power, and personal pleasure? Why should such things have a negative connotation in our minds set and bound by society?
A. To save our immortal souls of course. But then, how do we know we have a soul and why would we even need it?
Obviously we can't accept that "this is it," or that we only get one shot, one chance, one lifetime, no more. I hope I'm not being cynical now or seem a downer. Isn't one life enough? Isn’t that enough time to do many things and enjoy? Doesn't it just seem ungrateful for the precious time given us to refuse to enjoy it, refuse to be satisfied, and insist there must be something better?
Think of all the wonderful things temporal life has to offer- choices, love, food, company, sex, an option to be happy or not, the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them, variances in mood- from low to high- that give us a sense of dynamics. No afterlife I've ever heard of can offer all of these- you can either be agonized forever or blissful forever, and while this may sound initially ideal, I'd rather cease to exist. Now before you screech, "BLASPHEMY! HERETIC!" and fall to your knees to beg forgiveness for me and my soul because I'm a silly child and don't know the gravity of my words, let me explain. Have you ever had a week or even a month when most everything happened as it was supposed to and left you in a decent mood because nothing tragic happened? Well, why were you in a decent mood and not a joyous one? Because it was boring. I don't know about you, but I like melancholy, I like stress, I like mistakes, and I like challenges. They give life flavor. You just can't enjoy stuff the same way when it's handed to you on a silver platter.
So if my heaven isn't going to be stressful, isn't going to have lows, and won't let anyone stab me in the back (all of which I doubt), you can keep it. Me- I don't ever want those experiences to stop. This teen angsty shit may be brutal, but it keeps life interestingly painful and beautifully (if almost unbearably) melodramatic. It's great.
And if you can't enjoy all the vibrance of life, the more power to you- go on and make yourself miserable for a deity you don't know exists, and delude yourself into believing some intangible, eternal greatness awaits because, apparently, the gift you have of just being here isn't good enough.
Ok, expanding upon my third paragraph now- "Why is it [all out] sinful to do what we're naturally apt to do?" B. I don't think it's wrong to assume humans instinctively seek power and pleasure- all animals do- and it explains a lot about society, too. C. So if this is innate, then Adam and Eve had these feelings before the fall, and if this wanting is bad, if coveting is a sin, then they were inherently sinners by their very existence.
(Now let me quickly insert this before I go on- sin is not black and white; there is no right or wrong definition for it because it is not concrete. Sin is what someone else tells you is wrong- be it friends or parents, holy texts, deities, or society. I just use the definition I know.)
So, following this reasoning (C.), we are all sinners by existence. Even if you disagree and think me a heretic, we're still sinners by existence if you believe in original sin. And even if you don't subscribe to any of the religions that believe in that, then you can still follow by B. that we are inherently evil, merely by the common definition of sin. Now my point in all this- how depressing is it to believe we are naturally evil? Why do the things we're born to do have to be wrong? Why does personal satisfaction have to be wrong? The only reason wealth, power, and pleasure are deemed 'wrong' is because someone else says so. And you can't really enjoy life, truly savor it in accordance to my previous rant (A.) if doing so, if experiencing all you can, if acquiring all you want is wrong. D. If we all discarded the social morals of the ideas of greed and sin and went out and took all we wanted, we'd all have all we wanted. Think about it. There's a lot more to that than there may seem.
So is it hedonism I'm advocating here? Let me check. Yes, it is. Absolutely brilliant (hedonism that is) if you ask me. If I hadn't been raised Christian, I'd delve into hedonism and practice it all out-enjoy all I can. Sex and debauchery- rock on! Moderation is for monks- excess, I say; everything in excess!
Addendum (I don't know what an addendum is, but I hope I'm using it right):
Ok, in reference to D., I'm not advocating anarchy in any way, though it may seem so. People should still work toward their goals, but I don't see why we should hold such disdain for the effluent, the prestigious, or anyone else seeking satisfaction, gratification, pleasure, or just to enjoy all they have in life.
So I'm not sure if I got my 2 points across as well as I might have liked- it all made a lot more sense in my head- but if anything is unclear or could use some elaboration, tell me please! And for all my Christian friends, I am by no means an atheist or a monist. In fact I'm a practicing Catholic, and I'm having difficulty with right and wrong, free will and sin because I've seen these things taught to others in a completely different way and wonder which is right. Plus I have trouble reconciling these feelings of teenage rebellion with my place as a 'daughter of God.' I am certainly not going to throw my faith out the window, but perhaps my problem is that I'm reluctant to be bound by all these rules the Church holds over me because I want to enjoy here the life I have and what I'm given now because this is the only one I get. I just don't like feeling guilty about doing the things I want to when it's not like they hurt anybody. Argh. Why should I make myself miserable when I know this is the only life I get, and I DON'T know whether anything will come of it after my death?
Nov 2, 03
Ok, ya know what? If I were a god and stumbled across a humble little universe of my own, I'd make sure everybody knew I created it and all its awesomeness. Then I'd sit back and let everyone do whatever the hell they want- free will and all that good shit- and then laugh my ass off as they single-handedly brought about the destruction of their entire species. And just in case some thing did go right, I'd jump right in with the idea of Divine Intervention so I could take all the credit, and then laugh at my people some more while they realized they couldn't do a darn thing without me, and everything that went wrong was their own fault. And then I'd throw in some crazy il nino hurricane shit and frame someone else, like, I dunno, some made-up monster with a funny name, like Lucifer. Yeah, that's so what I would do...Think about it.