5.26.03 A Foreword
This is what happens when I put emotions into thoughts and thoughts into words. Whenever something is troubling me, I just sit down and start writing. I keep writing until it no longer troubles me or my hand cramps up. This is my form of therapy and retaining control of my insanity and resisting the urges to blow up a small portion of the planet. I do like fireworks, though. Some of this may seem really depressing, but don’t worry about it because once I write this stuff, I’m usually mostly over it. For the longest time I thought I was the only one who ever felt this way, but looking back, I’m willing to bet that I put into words what a lot of people are feeling better than they probably could have expressed themselves. Pardon me if these seem to go off on tangents or aren’t fully explained because this is train of thought, not English essays- I just do my best with spelling and grammar so it’s legible. Some people have told me it’s really good and I should consider a career in writing, but I don’t want to sell my soul to a publisher to earn a living, or at all for that matter. I just happen to like writing a lot, and I think I’m pretty good at it, too. Please don’t come back and tell me I suck because I don’t need your help- believe me, I really am my own worst critic. I hate most of my poetry. There isn’t really much of a purpose to these; it just gives people a way to follow my thought processes as if they’re interested, which I often doubt. Some of the stuff I write is, like, really deep man, so you might actually be interested in reading it. Feel free to ask me about any of it if you like, but if I don’t feel like talking about it at the moment, don’t push it. Just ask some other time. It has to do with that “I’m usually mostly over it” stuff. I’ll probably go back and add stuff constantly, or as much as I can, so check back sometime, too. Let me know if I’ve made any particularly hideous mistakes because I don’t like to proof my work. Until then, well, I don’t really care if you enjoy this, or even read a word of it all because who actually cares what I think, assuming people can think on their own? But if you do- read this or think- let me know what you think if you think at all. Thinking can hurt sometimes, so I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. But yeah, um, “The End,” I guess, of this foreword that is, which is actually the beginning, so…ouch. Never mind, too much thinking. I quit. Don’t mind me, I merely exist.