Satine: Yes? Just a minute! :::Satine opens the door to the ugliest man she's ever seen in her life. He looked at her with a sick grin on his face, as if he was so excited to be seeing her, and he began undressing her with his eyes. She stomps her foot and asks what the hell he wants, in an effort to send this disgrace to humanity away as soon as possible.::: Popeye Looking Fag: Arrrgghhh, me matey, you're needed on the set- 5 minutes to showtime! Arrggghhhh!!! Satine: Dude first of all, you're not a pirate. Secondly, I know when I'm supposed to go out there- I've done this before! And third, I wouldn't be your "matey" if you were the last dipshit on earth and the human race depended on us having sex simply for procreation! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to prepare! :::The Popeye Looking Fag winks at Satine, and leaves in a huff. He did the popeye "Toot Toot" on his pipe, and fled. Satine just stood at the door wondering where in the hell that moron was from, and made her way out to the set.::: 5 Minutes Later- Set on Late Late Show w/Craig Kilborn :::Craig Kilborn is back from commercial, and is wasting no time introducing Satine Nicole.::: Craig Kilborn: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had this lovely lady on the show many many times, and now we are lucky enough to have her again! Would you please put your hands together for the Queen of nWn- The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling- Satine Nicole!!! :::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::Satine opens the door to the ugliest man she's ever seen in her life. He looked at her with a sick grin on his face, as if he was so excited to be seeing her, and he began undressing her with his eyes. She stomps her foot and asks what the hell he wants, in an effort to send this disgrace to humanity away as soon as possible.::: Popeye Looking Fag: Arrrgghhh, me matey, you're needed on the set- 5 minutes to showtime! Arrggghhhh!!! Satine: Dude first of all, you're not a pirate. Secondly, I know when I'm supposed to go out there- I've done this before! And third, I wouldn't be your "matey" if you were the last dipshit on earth and the human race depended on us having sex simply for procreation! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to prepare! :::The Popeye Looking Fag winks at Satine, and leaves in a huff. He did the popeye "Toot Toot" on his pipe, and fled. Satine just stood at the door wondering where in the hell that moron was from, and made her way out to the set.::: 5 Minutes Later- Set on Late Late Show w/Craig Kilborn :::Craig Kilborn is back from commercial, and is wasting no time introducing Satine Nicole.::: Craig Kilborn: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had this lovely lady on the show many many times, and now we are lucky enough to have her again! Would you please put your hands together for the Queen of nWn- The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling- Satine Nicole!!! :::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Popeye Looking Fag: Arrrgghhh, me matey, you're needed on the set- 5 minutes to showtime! Arrggghhhh!!! Satine: Dude first of all, you're not a pirate. Secondly, I know when I'm supposed to go out there- I've done this before! And third, I wouldn't be your "matey" if you were the last dipshit on earth and the human race depended on us having sex simply for procreation! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to prepare! :::The Popeye Looking Fag winks at Satine, and leaves in a huff. He did the popeye "Toot Toot" on his pipe, and fled. Satine just stood at the door wondering where in the hell that moron was from, and made her way out to the set.::: 5 Minutes Later- Set on Late Late Show w/Craig Kilborn :::Craig Kilborn is back from commercial, and is wasting no time introducing Satine Nicole.::: Craig Kilborn: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had this lovely lady on the show many many times, and now we are lucky enough to have her again! Would you please put your hands together for the Queen of nWn- The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling- Satine Nicole!!! :::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Dude first of all, you're not a pirate. Secondly, I know when I'm supposed to go out there- I've done this before! And third, I wouldn't be your "matey" if you were the last dipshit on earth and the human race depended on us having sex simply for procreation! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to prepare! :::The Popeye Looking Fag winks at Satine, and leaves in a huff. He did the popeye "Toot Toot" on his pipe, and fled. Satine just stood at the door wondering where in the hell that moron was from, and made her way out to the set.::: 5 Minutes Later- Set on Late Late Show w/Craig Kilborn :::Craig Kilborn is back from commercial, and is wasting no time introducing Satine Nicole.::: Craig Kilborn: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had this lovely lady on the show many many times, and now we are lucky enough to have her again! Would you please put your hands together for the Queen of nWn- The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling- Satine Nicole!!! :::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::The Popeye Looking Fag winks at Satine, and leaves in a huff. He did the popeye "Toot Toot" on his pipe, and fled. Satine just stood at the door wondering where in the hell that moron was from, and made her way out to the set.::: 5 Minutes Later- Set on Late Late Show w/Craig Kilborn :::Craig Kilborn is back from commercial, and is wasting no time introducing Satine Nicole.::: Craig Kilborn: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had this lovely lady on the show many many times, and now we are lucky enough to have her again! Would you please put your hands together for the Queen of nWn- The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling- Satine Nicole!!! :::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
5 Minutes Later- Set on Late Late Show w/Craig Kilborn
:::Craig Kilborn is back from commercial, and is wasting no time introducing Satine Nicole.:::
Craig Kilborn: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had this lovely lady on the show many many times, and now we are lucky enough to have her again! Would you please put your hands together for the Queen of nWn- The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling- Satine Nicole!!! :::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::The crowd erupts in cheers as Satine makes her way out and gives Craig Kilborn a hug just as she had every time she was on the show. As the crowd begins chanting Queen Satine! Queen Satine! She looks around and smiles, then gives Craig another hug.::: Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: She hugged me! She really hugged me!! :::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::Satine busts up laughing at Craig, and has a seat in her "normal spot". She waves and blows kisses to the obvious nWn Fans, and Craig Kilborn is in a daze. She looks at him and busts up laughing again and Craig begins.::: Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: Sooo, Satine, it's been only a few months since we saw you last. How have you been? Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Well, Craig, I'm doing great actually! As you probably know, I've taken a sort of break from feds lately, but now I�m back and ready for action! Back in nWn! I�ve had so much drama going on, but right now I�m back to being the Satine Nicole everyone loves. The Queen of Wrestling, and having a ball living up to that name. Oh, I also have a weekly column on nWn.com! Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: I had heard that somewhere, but I haven't been able to check it out yet. So what do you do for your column? Rant and rave? That's something you've always been good at! :::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::The audience starts cheering again, and Satine laughs. The camera focuses on her again, and she continues.::: Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Well, Craig, they get my share of ranting and raving as it is. I�m famous for that shit. (laughs) So having my own spot on nWn.com is just a bonus for me. But I not only bitch moan, or give my thoughts on what is going on, I give out awards as well. I feel people put so much time and effort into their performances that they deserve to be rewarded for it. And that's what Satine's Court is all about! In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community. Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
In addition to that, there's a section where I answer email I receive during the week. I just got started on �The Court� again and I�ve already got letters coming in! (looks at the camera) If anyone has anything they want to send my way, just send an email to [email protected] and I will give my feedback, advice, or whatever they ask for. It's just something else I give to the nWn Community.
Craig: Well, Satine, that's certainly kind of you. Now, rumor has it you're seeing someone... is this true? And who is it? The people are dying to know! Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Now, you'd think that if I wanted that to get out, I'd have let everyone know already. Huh? Huh? (laughs) Now, Craig, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but c'mon, I�m awefully good at it. Haha! A girl's gotta have some privacy when it comes to her personal life! I�m not about to give in to the rumor mills and give them something to talk about. If I�m with someone, we�ll let them know when the time is right. Until then, rest assured that I'm a happy camper and that's all ya need to know. Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: Well... that solves that (insert dripping sarcasm here, folks)... (clears throat while Satine laughs) Now, it says here you have a quarter-finals match against Stone Cold Steve Austin at Smackdown, and if you win that, you go on to the Semi-final match against K-Bomb. First of all who is that guy? And Secondly- do you think Either of them can handle you in the ring? Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Austin hasn't before, I don't see why he would be able to now! (laughs) As for this K-Bomb kid, I have no clue. No one knows who he is, and the only reason he moved onto Semi-finals is because Nash wussed out. He got damn lucky there. But I guarantee that his luck will run out once I plow through Steve Austin and make it to Semi-Finals myself! Now, I'm not saying that Austin�s not a good wrestler� well OK yes I am! He used to be an awesome asset to the Wrestling business, but ever since he picked up drinking and knocking his wife around, he�s been.. well, let�s just say �lacking�. He�s so obsessed with beer, (what?) flippin the bird (what?) smackin his poor wife around (what?) that he really has nothing left to offer. This is why I just don't think he�ll be focused enough on THIS match to make a difference. And I know for a fact that I will be, and that I will walk out of that ring well on my way to becoming World Champion at Raw. Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: Well, ok. Now, speaking of K-Bomb, he is the newbie on the block, and he may just surprise everyone and pave his way toward the World Title himself- maybe. But that�s another story. You are teamed up SEX? That being Vince Russo, Ronnie Styles, his wife Lizzie, Lex Luger & Miss Elizabeth. What if it ends up being one of your team mates headed to the Final Rounds as well? You'll be a busy girl, but I know you�re loyal to your team- mates. Will that effect how you play your �game�? :::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::The audience erupts in laughter at what Craig has just said, and Satine has a look of "Whatchu talkin about, Willis?" on her face as she answers him.::: Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Whoa, Craig. I don't know who you think you're talking to. Trust me when I say that I've handled bigger and badder people than everyone that makes up SEX. Now, we work together and we're friends, and yes I think they are great people. But the fact of the matter is that I want to regain that World Title for myself, and this is the time for me to get it! It doesn�t matter who gets in my way, that Belt is coming to me- and everyone in SEX knows that this is business. Not a time to figure out where we�re going for post-match drinks. It's all about the belt. I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it. :::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
I've worked my entire life to become who I am. Loved, Adored, Worshipped, Successful, all of that. And adding the nWn World Championship again to my already long list of my Titles held will be quite the accomplishment, to me anyway. I�ve already done it once! The first ever Female World Champ? Everyone remembers that, and they know it can happen again. To be at the top of the food chain is right where I intend to be. It's where I belong. I know it, hell everyone else knows it too. Satine Nicole isn't someone to be pushed to the side to "advance later"... I come equipped with advancement, and people who have crossed me trying to keep me down have felt my wrath. They know not to fuck with me, Craig. It's a simple fact. And I'm bringing all of this with me to Smackdown- first against Austin, then against The K-Bomb kid. No one is safe. I will win this thing. That's all there is to it.
:::The crowd erupts with more chants of Queen Satine!! Queen Satine!! and Satine smiles to them all. Craig seems kind of flabbergasted by the speech that Satine gave, but knew that it was all true. He taps his pencil on the desk again to try to get everyone to calm down and continue, but it would be awhile before that happened so he decides to go to commercial. The crowd keeps making a ruckus, and you can't even hear him say "we'll be right back!"::: 3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
3 Mins Later- Back from Commercial
Craig: We're back with the Undisputed Queen of Wrestling. And we've learned that Satine Nicole eats anything she wants, yet remains at her current weight of 120! So, instead of making her do her ear trick yet again, we've decided to see what her favorite food is! :::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::With that, Satine busts up laughing and the scene goes to a slideshow of her ear trick from her 2 previous appearances on the show. As the photos continue, the crowd's cheers get louder and louder and Satine, surprised by this, laughs out loud!::: Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: I never knew how much your fans liked that trick, Satine... but I've got someone else here who wants to ask you something so GET OUT HERE, YA MORON!! :::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::Suddenly, as Satine was still laughing, the culprit came out of hiding. It was Satine's own Late Late Show Commentator, Jake the Dipwad.::: Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Jake the Dipwad: Yes, Satine, it's me!! Your #1 Fan!! And I'm here to help out with your sponsor segment! :::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::Satine laughs again and goes up to hug Jake the Dipwad... then Craig Kilborn decides to continue.::: Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Craig: Yes, it's true. The Undisputed Queen of Wrestling is one of the official spokeswomen for 7-11 Slurpees! Satine, aren�t Slurpees bad for you? Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Hell no they�re not bad for you, do I look like I'm suffering any?? Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Jake the Dipwad: You look super fabulous to me, Queenie! But then again, you don�t have a Slurpee� in your hand! Ha! Ha! Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: That's right, Dippy! But hell, let�s continue. Like sex, coffee, and chocolate, Slurpees� are one of the "bad" things in life that are actually good for you. Sure, they�re cold as hell, and brain freeze is inevitable. But you know what? It�s all good. Ugh, I don�t want to talk about Slurpees�� let�s talk about PEANUT BUTTER! I loooooove Peanut Butter! Now, peanut butter isn�t supposed to be good for you either, but you know what? IT IS! But that's because it's packed with the same healthy monounsaturated fats as olive oil--the original death-defying potion. But olive oil tastes rotten with grape jelly, and it makes your bagel all floppy. And we all know that just sucks ass! So peanut butter's obviously a better choice! It's heart therapy you can spoon straight out of the jar. Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Jake the Dipwad: Are you sure about that Satine? I mean- isn't it unsanitary to just eat peanut butter out of the jar? Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Shut up, Dippy, and pay attention. Sanitation isn't part of this segment, silly! Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway... Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Anyway, sign on for the Skippy Diet (or Jif, or Peter Pan, or generic, hell it doesn't matter) Anyway, sign up for this crap and you can reduce your risk of heart disease, and quite possibly land a high-paying job in the adult-film industry. Everyone wants to be a porn star! Remember! SEX sells! Well ok, let�s move on� Anyway...
Craig: Now, Satine, I've heard that it helps with testosterone and better erections too- is that a myth? Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Craig, do I look like a doctor to you? I could give a shit. Here's some recipes that you can use that will help you. According to research from Brigham and Women's Hospital, people who eat a diet high in foods like olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter are more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. Nutrition researchers at Purdue University also subscribe to the skinny-in-a-Jif theory, suggesting that men feel fuller and eat less after snacking on peanut butter than after eating other foods. The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth. Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
The simple reason: peanut butter's great taste. Since a diet high in an indulgence like peanut butter doesn't leave you feeling deprived, it's easier to follow and won't make you prey to the cravings you feel on other diets. So, with that in mind--and a jar of peanut butter in hand--I've found the ultimate peanut-butter lover's diet. Follow it for a week and you'll lose half a pound. Follow it longer, and you'll continue losing weight and keep it off for good. (As long as you don't eat more than 6 tablespoons of peanut butter or 2,200 total calories in any single day, that is.) Hell, you'll burn an extra 90 calories per meal just scraping the stuff off the roof of your mouth.
Craig: Satine, you do realize that this is ridiculous, right? Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Yes, you're right, so nevermind, fuck you and your peanut butter segment. Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Jake the Dipwad: Such vulgarity! I have to cover my virgin ears! Satine even though you rule, I have to remind you that this is network television and you can't keep cursing. Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Excuse me? You're trying to tell me what to do? Do you know what happens to people who do that? Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about. Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Exactly what will happen to Steve Austin, K-Bomb, and whoever else decides to get in my way.. I will ransack that ring, and nobody will be left standing except yours truly. I will walk out of there on my way to becoming nWn World Champion, and there's not a god damn thing anyone can do about it. I've got the strength, I've got the talent, and I sure as hell have the power. That's all that matters when you enter my ring. Well, Satine Nicole is. And at Smackdown, everyone will know just what I'm talking about.
Craig: On that note, I'd like to thank you for coming out tonight, Satine! As always it's a pleasure and I can't wait till we do it again! Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
Satine: Thank you Craig! And thanks to everyone else for their support! :::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::With that, they shake hands and Satine leaves the stage, the show goes to commercial and the scene fades out.::: :::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
:::OOC: Thanks to Jess for helping me with the Peanut Butter stuff! That's too fn funny!!:::
