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Legolas Bloom's Fuck Outta Luck
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J-Dawg
Ass Kicker


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Women Want Me...Men Fear Me


The Show opens up with J-Dawg sitting in his locker room. Looking rather depressed. Stephanie McMahon walks in and sees him standing there. She begins to speak.

StephJay why are you so worried. Legolas Bloom is way out of practice. He hasnt had a match in about 2 months. Im sure you will have the upper hand. Besides you are always over confident why change now?

J-DawgYou know what Steph, your right. I am always over confident. But, the words that Legolas spoke earlier were so true. You cant say whether you win or lose until its all said and done. And my confidence is what made me lose when I had my match against HBK for the WWE Title 2 weeks ago. Im going into this match confident. Just not over confident. Plus anyways, I have a little proposition for him. Well you see im gonna ask him if....

Just as they begin to speak about Legolas and there plans for him, Steph walks over and shuts the door, so our camera men cannot hear what they are saying. At that note we head down to the broadcast booth where Jim Ross and The King are sitting to call tonights action!

KingHello wCw fans and welcome to another night of nonstop action here at the wCw arena. I am The King and sitting here beside me is my partner in crime Jim Ross. And what a night it was last Tuesday as we saw the match between J-Dawg and Kevin Nash. I thought it was hilarious when we saw J-Dawg annihilate Nash. Also the return of Legolas Bloom on Nitro was a rocketbuster. And now we have gotten word that J-Dawg will take on Legolas Bloom one on one tonight for the #1 contendorship for the WWE Title. I wonder how J-Dawg will respond to this?

Jim RossWell I have no idea King, but I bet that J-Dawg will have a little something up his sleeve that will shock all of us. Because we all know how creative J-Dawg is on the mic and he blows away pretty much everybody else. So King im sure that his promo here tonight will blow the roof off of the arena. And speaking of that I have word that he is on his way out here right now.

With that said J-Dawg's themes music hits the Public Announcement System and we see that J-Dawg has made his way to the stage.

J-Dawg heads down the ramp and see's all of the signs in the audience supporting their favorite superstars. J-Dawg climbs the steps and gets on the apron. He poses for the fans, which all take pictures.

J-Dawg gets into the ring and walks around for a few seconds before he grabs the mic from Lilian Garcia. It looks as he has something important to say and he is going to do that right now!

J-DawgWell Well Well. Looks like the legend known as Legolas Bloom has finally came back to wCw. You know its kinda funny, as soon as I came to Nitro Legolas Bloom left wCw. He said it was because of Molly Holly but thats a bunch of bullshit. He ran scared because the D-A-W-G came to Nitro. Legolas its nothing to be ashamed of many a superstars have ran once it came time to face me, for example Kevin Nash. He ran away last week. You know Legolas I sat there in my locker room and listened to your promo and then your interview. And I must tell you, that was the biggest load of shit I have ever heard! I know you are all thinkin. Just a little while ago didnt you say you wasnt gonna go into this match over confident? Shit, yall know me still the same old G. There is no way in hell I would leave my over confident ways, thats just how I am. Legolas I gotta give it to you though, you talk about things like how it isnt over til the fat lady sings and shit like that, but deep down inside we know you think your better than the rest of us. But there is one thing that you said was true, I should prepare myself. As should you. Because as you have been preparing and training for your return, I have been preparing and training all my life. Legolas you are the ultimate challenge for me. You are the most talented athlete I have faced in my career. I have watched the videos of your matches as well as I'm sure you have watched mine. There will be nothing like this matchup. Hell I dont see why it is a Co-Main event. It should be ppv material. But no, Shane wants it now, so it will happen now. LEgolas you and I are the elite on the Nitro brand. Your return match is against the best on Nitro...Me. For none other than the #1 contendorship. Legolas I'll be damned if I let this oppurtunity slide by me again like it did last time when I faced HBK for the WWE Title and was robbed. I will not be robbed again like I have been so many times in my past. You know Legolas, you and I have some stuff in common. You are an extraordinary athlete, so am I. You know when to act and when to not, as well as I. But there is a difference that is plainly visible. And it is a key difference. And that is talking shit. I can talk shit longer and better than anyone person can. And you guys hold that against me. But the thing is if you talk shit you win more. Your opponents get all syked up and start to crack before the match even begins to take place. then you have the upper hand through the whole match. But Legolas I know that talkin shit doesnt effect you. So I am gonna have to try a little something else. Legolas you are a very shy guy. Hell you cant even get a real date. You gotta hit it up with the wCw reporter. Atleast try to get a good looking woman like Stephanie McMahon or Satine Nicole. You know Legolas you say you put forth 100% all the time. And if thats all you put forth that just wont be enough to win our match on Nitro. You need more than 110% to defeat me. Cuz thats what I give every step of the way. Every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears has come from me 110%. And Legolas nobody knows it like you. And Legolas about my proposition for you I mentioned earlier, after our match how about you join me in Destruction Inc.? The 2 best Nitro superstars together. Nothing could stop us. Nobody could stop us. The U.S. Army couldnt stop us. And whoever wins our match at Nitro, HBK cant stop us. either way HBK's number is had. LEgolas just a few words before Nitro, GET READY!

With that said J-Dawg throws down the mic and heads backstage.

But wait J-Dawg turns around and heads back to the ring. He picks up the mic as he slides into the ring.

J-Dawg~Ya'll know that I aint gonna leave you hangin without a rap. And Ima bring in my boy to rap with us.

With that said, The Real Slim Shady hits the P.A. System and Eminem comes out and gets into the ring with J-Dawg.

Eminem~Sup Dawg. I got this song, Whats the Difference. Its usually sung by me and Dre, but he's a little under the weather so your takin his place.

J-Dawg~Aight, hit the music biatch!

[Eminem] What's the difference between me and you? (repeat 2X)

[J-Dawg] Back when Cube - was rollin wit Lorenzo in a Benzo I was bangin wit a gang of instrumentals Got the pens and pencils, got down to business; but sometimes the business end of this shit can turn your friends against you But you was a real nigga, I could sense it in you I still remember the window of the car that you went through That's fucked up, but I'll never forget the shit we been through And I'ma do whatever it takes to convince you Cuz you my nigga Doc, and Eazy I'm still wit you Fuck the beef, nigga I miss you, and that's just bein real wit you You see the truth is Everybody wanna know how close me and Snoop is And who I'm still cool wit Then I got these fake-ass niggaz I first drew with Claimin that they non-violent, talkin like they *voice sample* Spit venom in interviews, speakin on reunions Move units, then talk shit and we can do this Until then - I ain't even speakin your name Just keep my name outta yo' mouth and we can keep it the same Nigga, it ain't that I'm too big to listen to the rumors It's just that I'm too damn big to pay attention to 'em That's the difference

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one - but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal wit emotions I'm used to livin big dog style and straight coastin

[J-Dawg] Yo I stay wit it While you try to perpetrate, play wit it Never knew about the next level until Dre did it (YEAH) I stay committed while you motherfuckers baby-sitted I smash you critics like a overhand right from Riddick (Yeah!) Come and get it, shitted on villians by the millions I be catchin bitches while bitches be catchin feelings So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I pop bottles and hot hollow-points at each and all of you (Come on!) A heartless bastard, high and plastered My style is like the reaction from too much acid - never come down Pass it around if you can't handle it Hang Hollywood niggaz by they Soul Train laminates What's the difference between me and you? (What?) About five back accounts, three ounces and two vehicles Until my death, I'm Bangladesh I suggest you hold yo' breath til ain't none left Yo that's the difference

Chorus

[Eminem] Aight, hold up hold up! STOP THE BEAT A MINUTE!! I got somethin to say Jay; I wanna tell you this shit right now while this fuckin weed is in me (The fuck?!) I don't know if I ever told you this, but I love you dawg I got your motherfuckin back, just know this shit

[Jay] Riiight? .. Slim, I don't know if you noticed it But I've had your back from day one, nigga let's blow this bitch [Em] I mean it dawg, you ever need somebody offed - who's throat is it? [Jay] Well if you ever kill that Kim bitch, I'll show you where the ocean is

[Eminem] Well that's cool, and I appreciate the offer But if I do decide to really murder my daughter's momma I'ma sit her up in the front seat and put sunglasses on her And cruise around wit her for seven hours through California And have her wavin at people (Hi!) Then drop her off on the corner at the police station and drive off honkin the horn for her Raw dawg, get your arm gnawed off Drop the sawed off and beat you wit the piece it was sawed off of Fuck blood, I wanna see some lungs coughed up Get shot up in the hot tub til the bubbles pop up and they nose and cough snot up, mucus in hot water That's for tryin to talk like The Chronic was lost product That's for even THINKIN of havin them thoughts thought up! You better show some respect whenever the Doc's brought up!! So what's the difference between us? We can start at the penis Or we can scream, "I Just Don't Give a Fuck," and see who means it! Chorus 1.25X

With that said Eminem and Jay hug and head backstage while the music is still playin.

"The One and Only" J-Dawg





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