[First, let me tell you how sorry I am for doing this.]
I know how much you fucking hate to read, and I know that
more and more and more of your fans have been doing this on thier sites lately...
and its all just about the same thing. I'm sorry for simply echoing other people.
Lets just say I havent had a bad life.
I havent had a peachy one either.
People always assume I am into your music because i am angry at someone or something which...I admit,
is why I got into korn. I got into you (heh, that sounds gross) because things weren't going right and
I needed comfort, some reassurance, and most of all, I wanted someone to love me for what i am.
You gave me all that, Jonathan.
the first song I heard was mr rogers, and your singing in that scared me to death. It made me realise that there are people worse off than
me, and to stop feeling so fucking sorry for myself. The whole of the Life Is Peachy album made me sit back and think. It made me realise that
for the first time in my life, I wanted to be like somebody.
that someone is you, Jonathan.
the problem is though, ( you won't like this AT all, lol) you are a perfect person. you are kind, considerate, loving, trusting, and most of all
you are still in touch with your soul after all thats happened to you.
Im trying to talk from my heart now, but...I can't. so many fucking ideas and things to say are floating around my head and i cant grasp any of them
I wish I could be as nice as you. I wish I could be as perfect as you. sometimes, i wish I could be strong like you.
thats exactly what I wanted to say. I want to be like you. but...my own stupid character flaws prevent me from doing so.
I'd better tell you about something.
about two years ago, a friend of mine was murdered, because he was a "fucking fag". People assumed he was gay because he wore eyeliner,
much in the same way you did.
he was chased through the town at the dead of night, pushed over a sea wall, had his head split open on the rocks,
stripped naked and thrown in the water to drown.
he was only 19.
how the fuck does that work? how could someone do that to another person? just how? I fucking torture myself with this all the fucking
time.
why? why the fuck was it him?
needless to say, the person that did it was not caught. people even know who he is, but nothing has happened.
thats what twisted me i guess. thats wat totally broke my heart and soul, and I just want to be like you.
even though worse shit has happened to you, you're still human.
I wish I could find the strength to be like that.
but, when I listen to you, it all goes away.
I saw you live in Manchester on the 12th of September, 2002, and i can safely say that was the best night of my life.
I know exactly what you mean when you talk about getting your anger out on stage.
in that mosh pit, i totally lost it.
I wasnt myself there. All my shit went away, far far far away, even though it was just for two hours.
thank you.
I guess im still in depression, about four months after that gig. I looked at that time and said to myself
"Im never going to be that happy again".
Thank you, Jonathan, for giving me comfort when I listen to your songs, someone to dream about when I am bored and lonely,
and most of all, some phat ass cuss words to scream to fuckwits that take the piss out of me.
peace.
4U Jonathan