the dark cloud passed. suddenly, the full light of the moon shone downwards, and onto his naked body.
He sat, his back arched, his shoulders hunched, and face staring downwards. dejected. forsaken. sorrowful.
the moon shone on him, through the high window, shining on the sweat soaked contours of his frame,
enhancing every scar, and every blemish on his glistening skin.
he promptly swiped at his messy black hair, and re arranged his thin dreadlocks to the side of his face, breathing deeply.
he then started spasming. small sobs escaped his mouth, and he lifted his hands to try and stop them, to seal them in.
strange hiccuping noises came from his lungs, as he tried harder to seal off his desperate sobs, back still arched.
suddenly, he screamed.
again, and again he screamed, face contorted, back straight, and face upwards, towards the moon's haunting light.
the sounds of a baby crying were muffled by the wall.
He then raked at his face with his fingernails, and felt the warm flow of blood trickle down his one handsome face.
" stop it!" he screamed, and tore again at his face. parts of his skin were in his fingernails, covered in blood.
too much blood.
then, his face changed. dispite the blood around it, it became a serene and peaceful thing, almost angelic.
he sighed, smiled, subconciously, and then lay down, his breath wheezing gently with every exhale.
The baby in the next room started to howl, and then Jonathan woke.
"shit." Jonathan exclaimed, feeling the stinging in his face. he groaned, and then wheezed a little, and lifted himself
out of the bed, and put on a pair of trousers he kicked with his foot. he started to stare slightly at the dark stains
on the bedsheets. then, the babys howl got louder.
"okay, okay, nate, im coming..." he started, moving around the bed, stiffly. almost, like a robot. moving along the hall,
the stubbed his toe. "jesus.." he cursed.
Nathan's howling was getting even worse.
"Nate...ok, hold on a sec"
Jonathan finally got to Nathans room, and turned on the light. Blue pastel colours surrounded him, as he walked to the
crib. Jonathan looked at the screaming child, and picked him up, gently bouncing him over his shoulder to comfort him.
" you had a bad nightmare, huh, kid?"
Nathan started to sob, causing Jonathan to take him off his shoulder, and to look at him.
Nathan opened his brown eyes, and looked into the bloodstained face of his father. Nathan then stared in shock,
and started crying louder and screaming.
"Nathan...please, dont be like this...whats wrong with you?" Jonathan asked, setting him down in the crib and then
undoing his nappy. Seeing that there was nothing there, Jonathan then picked up Nathan and then walked in the the
kitchen, still rocking him on his shoulder to try and keep him quiet. No such luck. Nathan was screaming louder,
having been removed from the safety of his room. Jonathan then walked to the fridge, and took a carton of milk,
shut the door, poured the milk into a pan, and started to heat it up.
while waiting for the milk to boil, Jonathan put Nathan down in a nearby feeding chair, and then started to talk to
the baby, looking at him, elbows on the feeding table, hands wiping the tears from his face.
Nathan quietened, a little.
"you had a nightmare, too, huh?" Jonathan said to him. nathan stared cooly at him, in regard.
Jonathan laughed, a little. " well, its not like you're going to tell me yours, so i might as well tell you mine, huh."
Nathan looked upwards, aimlessly, and then stared at the window, where the moon was shining almost as brightly
as the sun.
There were no clouds that night. Amazing, really, no clouds in LA. kinda freaky, even.
"and then, nathan...someone was there, hurting you. and i was powerless to stop him, nate. believe me,
i would have knocked the shit out of him if i could have, but all i could do was watch. he hurt you, really bad,
and then started to..."
Jonathans face convulsed again. he put a hand to his forehead, where a vien was starting to show. aware of this
sudden emotional change in his father, nathan started to cry.
Jonathan looked towards his son, and nathan started to quieten, again.
" forget about it, son. I'll never ever let what happened to me happen again, to you. never, you hear? even if i
have to die to protect you, i will. and you'll never, ever be hurt."
suddenly, a thought came into Jonathan's head. his face lit up, and he found his way to his feet, and went to the
gas stove, dipping a little finger into the milk.
"okay, milks done."
nathan started banging on the table. While pouring the milk from the pan into a bottle, Jonathan noticed the time
on the cooker's clock. "hey, its 2:00 am..." Nathan banged his hands on the table impatiently.
"here ya go." Jonathan set down the milk, and nathan tried to life the bottle. the bottle was a little too heavy for him,
and he strained to keep it up while he drank. Jonathan noticed this, and then lifted Nathan from the chair and
cradled him, holding the bottle for him while he drank, watching his eyes as he kept sucking on the rubber teat.
Nathan started to cough, and Jonathan took away the bottle, and lifted Nathan to his shoulder again, and patted
him on the back to help the milk go down. Nathan gave a little cry.
"Jonathan, do you know how late it is?" came a female voice.
"im fully aware of that, Renee." Jonathan said, his voice monotone, and devoid of all affection he had for Nathan.
Renee didnt say anything, Nathan not understanding what was going on, was staring at her, from Jonathans
shoulder, smiling. She stood in the doorway, analysing Jonathans body language. Usually, she could work out how
he was feeling better that way.
he always bottled up his emotions. he wouldnt tell anyone anything.
" another nightmare?" she said, seeing him shaking slightly. he set Nathan down in his chair, turned around, and
nodded slightly, his hair falling in his face. absently, he brushed it away, and winced when his fingertips brushed a painful
swelling. Renee's eyes widened as he turned around.
Jonathan's eyes filled with fear, as he regarded Renee's shocked expression.
Renee's face had the same terror in her eyes as Nathans.
Her eyes gaped some more, and she forced her face away, staring at the ground.
fuck.
there was even blood on the kitchen tiles.
She looked at Jonathan's bare feet, and forced herself to talk, her voice coming out in small gasps.
"Um, Jonathan...you're bleeding. What the hell happened?"
Jonathan then noticed the blood on his hands.
"fuck" he said, and then looked into his reflection in the window.
he looked so different...standing, topless, tatoos enhanced by the darkness outside, his skin pale...glistening, facial
features almost covered by his hair, two eyebrow rings sparkling, with the yellow light of the kitchen falling on them,
and his face was covered in blood. blood tears were crust, at his cheeks, and there were numourous, angry, red and
swollen craters where his nails had raked. his eyes were hidden mainly by his hair, but he could see into the corners of
one...somehow, it looked angry.
"what have you done to yourself?" renee said, in shock.
Jonathan walked over to the sink, and stared into the wondow again. then, he ran the tap.
"i..i dont know what the hell ive done." he started.
"i know. " renee said, " i didnt see any blood on you when we went to bed...i think you hit your face when sleeping."
"yeah. maybe." Jonathan said, his voice a little vacant.
" Come back to bed honey" Renee said, picking up Nathan from the small baby seat, and trying to touch Jonathans hand.
Jonathan promptly pulled it away, plunging his hands into the scalding water.
Renee's hand lingered by the flow from the tap, feeling its heat. She put a finger underneath the flow, and instantly jumped,
cursing and waving her hand in the air, Nathan laughing in her other arm.
Jonathan started to laugh.
Loud.
He laughed so loud, Renee forgot about her pain, and Nathan was utterly silent.
Jonathan screamed inbetween laughs, tears forming at his eyes. Suddenly, he howled out laughing.
Renee tried to scream at Jonathan, but her voice was totally useless against his laugh.
She started to run, but Jonathan caught her in no time, his long arms caught around her neck, and still laughing.
Her eyes bulged, and she screamed, and dropped Nathan.
Jonathan tightend his grip.
She coughed, spluttered, and her eyes started to roll back.
"fu----ck... Jo---ath--n stop!"
Her long legs were kicking his shins. Suddenly, still laughing, he fell on top of her.
Nathan was crawling away as fast as he could.
Jonathans thumbs were digging so hard into renee's skin, bruises were forming already. her skin was red from
screaming, and not being able to breathe, and Jonathans thumbs were making her skin deathly white.
Jonathan tore off her nightshirt.
Her eyes began to shut, and her body was giving up. Her kicks were losing strength, and her elbows were buckling,
and Jonathans body was inching closer and closer to her.
She gave up, and Jonathan entered her, her body shuddering, face frozen, with her eyes shut.
Jonathan fucked her hard, as if the painful sensations were his way of reminding her that she was still alive,
just unconcious, while he felt her heart racing.
then, it just stopped.
Jonathan moaned in pleasure, and tightened his hands on her neck, his fingernails now digging into her skin.
This went on for about 2 hours, him rocking back and forth, hands still around her throat, her eyes closed, all
esscence of her soul gone. now, shes just a body.
Jonathan gritted his teeth, knowing he was going to come soon.
He pushed inside her harder, as if he was trying to push himself through her. He closed his eyes, and screamed.
Blackness. Jonathan then groaned, and bit the body's breasts, slowly and tenderly, whispering. i love you.
He then kissed her cold lips, and then got up, shaking, and viciously kicked her in the face with such force, her whole
body turned on her shoulder. i love you, you lying bitch.
her corpse lay there, as Jonathan looked at it, eyes open, staring like an innocent child, as the sounds of a baby crying
filled the house.
He slowly lost conciousness.
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Fuck!"
...
Silence.
Jonathan woke up, groaning in pain. He felt a stickiness in the covers of his bed. An interesting stickiness.
Renee stirred, and felt the wetness.
"Jonathan...?" she said, sleepily.
Jonathan responded. " mm?"
" i think you've had a wet dream. "
"uh..yeah, i know. sorry."
Renee flicked on a lamp by the side of the bed and looked at him, while he blushed.
" your dream better have been about me, hiver..." she started, crawling on top of him.
she then rested her head against his chest, as Jonathan groaned slightly.
she grinned, and he smirked back at her.
"you bet." he said, slowly.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
[ black orgasms, part one ]