Return to New York by Sharon
Chapter Eight
Cris: Elope? You want to elope? Jess, those are the words I never thought I'd heard from you. Don't you want a big wedding? Don't you want your family to be there?
Jess: Not at the expense of my sister. Cris, I can go there and beg for forgiveness but its never going to make up for what we did. I'm sorry doesn't cut this time. They're just words. I don't want her to think I'm rubbing her nose in it. It doesn't matter what kind of wedding we have. It only matters what we feel.
Cris: I've tried everything I can to convince you that I love you but nothing is good enough. What else do you want from me, Jess?
Jess: I want to know when you knew.
Cris: The first time I saw you.
Jess: I'm being serious here, Cris.
Cris: So am I Jess. The first time I saw you at that party I knew I was in real trouble. I knew knew what love was until I looked into your eyes and I'll never know it again. My heart was stolen by a pair of baby blue eyes and hair so blonde you can see through her. All I knew Jess, was that you were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. All of my dreams were wrapped up in one look from you. I could never imagine being happier than I was when I was with the most perfect girl on the planet. If I hadn't met Jen, and later Natalie, I would have never given up on you. You were my dream that was just out of reach and I knew I had to stay away.
Jess: Why? Damn it Cristian. Why couldn't you have just told me the truth? I would have dropped everything just to be with you.
Cris: That's why I couldn't be with you. That's why I couldn't scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to protect you from the worst pain of all. Thats why I chose Natalie. God, don't you ever think it was because I didn't love you. I can't think of a time when I didn't.
Jess: (with tears in her eyes) Then why Cris? Why did you break my heart like that?
Cris: Because I didn't want you to give up your dreams because of me. Can't you understand that I'm no good for you anymore? I can't use my hands to make you beautiful pictures anymore and that's all I ever wanted to do.
Jess: You don't need to make pictures for me to make me love you. You already have my heart. All you had to do is ask.
Cris: But I can't fly around the world while you make yourself famous, Jess.I was a suspect in a murder case and I didn't want to blow everything by running away with you. I also didn't want to put you into any more danger. I love you Jess. I couldn't stand it if you got hurt by any of my bad decisions.
Jess: That's not your call, Cris. I'm in this for the long haul. I gave up a lot when I slept with you. I usually don't throw caution to the wind, you know?
Cris: I know. That was my fault. You just looked so beautiful and I couldn't stand the fact you were hurting like that. I wanted to make it all better. I wanted you to know you deserved better than Seth Anderson. I wanted to give you the world at that moment. All I could think of was the first moment I saw you. You suddenly became that innocent girl I fell in love with. And suddenly, without knowing it, I felt drawn to you. I couldn't imagine life getting any better than when I kissed you and you kissed me back. I had the sun, the moon, and the stars all rolled into one. I mean, this perfect girl, who had been hurt so many times, was suddenly looking at me like I held all of her dreams and her passions, and I didn't deserve one single one. But I wanted to be all she was wishing. That's all I could think of, Jess. You were my shining star. You made me a better man. I'll always, always be grateful for that.
Jess: But is it enough? Can we really go to the church and pledge our love and really make it work? Please, Cristian I need to know this time. I wouldn't take this risk only to find out you were just like the rest.You need to look into my eyes and tell me why its suddenly me you love and not Natalie. You need to make me believe it...
|
|
