When I think of Jax and Brenda, it is always the smallest things about them that pop into my mind first. If I close my eyes now the first scene I will remember is, when she fist told him about being called Chubs as a child. They were at the ski lodge and she was just talking to him. I loved finding out those things about Brenda, and Jax was always the door way into her true heart. Like when she told him about the Nancy Drew books, sneaking them out of Julia's room, reading them with cocoa in the attic. And I rememeber Jax telling her about Thomas, and how he wanted to be able to do anything and proved that he could. When they spoke their eyes never seemed to stray from the other, it was like Jax looked right into Brenda's true soul and her gaze would reflect that onto him, looking right into his true heart.

The second thing that pops into my head are always the bigger moments. Jax and Brenda's pivotal life moments....like when he proposed to her that first time, in a fit of love and passion, as they were fighting. He knew he needed to lock her out of his life because he loved her so much and her constantly wanting Sonny was stabbing him. Yet when he saw her, he just couldn't let go of her passion, her heart, or let go being able to give her what she deserved happiness and light. So he gave her the ultimatum, he told her, Marry me or loose me forver....I remember my jaw dropping open, and standing up from where I was sitting, and going, WOW.....That proposal showed their fire, their passion, how crazy Brenda drove him, and how much she needed him in her life, even if she didn't completely understand it. Then as I remember them, my head goes out of sequence and jumps to that first meeting...I remember watching and going, WOW they click. The Jack Pot blaring, Brenda calling it an Omen, the instant flirtation even though they are discussing Lois....the beginning of a true romance, with fire, connection, passion and realism. Their first meeting foretells all of that, he instantly read her about Sonny, she instantly saw through the games he was playing with Lois...they started truly talking to each other at that first moment of being in the others life. It was amazing to see....and I am so glad I did. Rain....I somehow missed New Orleans....but I loved seeing the flashback, but I will never forget him finding her in the rain. Oh wow it was great....I was heartbroken for her, I was feeling how raw she was over Sonny....I started muttering, "Jax come and find her....Jax." And he arrived and saw her, and he ran to her and held and picked her up....and I was happy Brenda's pain was being taken away, by tenderness, by love, by real love....when found her in the rain was the first time, I really knew, really saw that Jax was hope to Brenda, for Brenda....that scene and the following scenes showed their love, their tenderness as well as their passion. "Where there is great love, there are always wishes." by Willa Cather, that quote to me brings up one word, one thought, one emotion really. Magic. And Jax and Brenda were the quintessential magic couple. They showed that Magic was indeed an emotion in a way. They would look at each other, even when they fought with each other, it was all based on their hopes for the future, and in their hearts, even when Brenda was fighting her demons, their hopes for the future were the same. Family, love, union, being one with the one you love. They both made all the others wishes come through, because of their connection, and their hearts. I never doubted when Brenda looked in Jax's eyes and and when he went to kiss her that they weren't totally completely, in old fashioned love with each other. That when they made love, I knew they were truly making love with the other one, with all their senses, alive and true. Magic and Hope, those are my Jax and Brenda words. That is what they gave me.

I like Brenda have a darker side, a less than stellar out look on life, on myself...and what Jax and Brenda, what Jax gave me was the knowledge that hope and magic exist, not in a man or some magic solution but in myself. Jax helped Brenda to see her whole self, not just some shaky self image she had of herself, her whole self. He didn't do it for her, he just helped to guide her to that realization, by simply loving her and hoping for her. And as he did that for Brenda, he also did that for me, helped me to find my magic and my own hope. Jax and Brenda did that for me, they made me more, like Brenda made Jax more...I don't think Jax really knew about that magic and hope until he fell in love with Brenda.

I really believe that someday I will see Jax and Brenda reunited on my screen. I believe that it will happen, I don't know how it will, but I do know, that their eyes will meet and time will stop, and the wishful, hopeful, magical love that they shared will spark between them. The electricity will be something I will see on my screen....and only Ingo Rademacher and Vanessa Marcil can give me that magic moment on my screen. Everytime I hear Angel, I Well Remember You, Remember Me This Way and other various songs that I don't know the names too, I think of Brenda, I think of Jax and Brenda....whenever I hear someone talk about Magic and love I think of them....but I also think of them, everytime I feel the pull of my own demons and I fight my way out, because the inner strength Jax awakened in Brenda, on my TV, really did help me to see the way to find my own. I have J&B to thank somewhat for a more postive perspective on life, and the continued belief in real life magic, if not the exact ideal they showed me on TV.

Rachel aka PassionAngel

~*Magic~*

Dear Diary, It was over three years ago...the setting was Malibu. That was when I first began to fall for J&B. Yet, when Jax gave Brenda the "ultimatum" I was completely hooked for good. When Jax said "Do you know how good we could be together" I along with Brenda thought, yah I think I do!" From then on there was no turning back. J&B were it for me. Nothing could or can compare to their love and if I had to describe them in one word it would be soulmates.

Why do I love them? What makes them so special? Well, as Jax once said they are not only lovers, but best friends. I simply loved watching them have fun together, watching their joy from each others joy. Not only did J&B entertain us with their fun and friendship but they had an undeniable chemistry and passion that can not be replicated or replaced. Everytime they were on the screen they brought a smile to my face.

It seemed like an eternity for Brenda to tell Jax she loved him, but as the saying goes some things are worth waiting for. This scene made for one of my favorites, though really I have so many. It was the day of their second wedding when Brenda told Jax she loved him. Jax was as "sure as the sun" that she would fall in love with him, and indeed she had. While it took her a long time to say those three little words to Jax, it was pure enjoyment to watch her fall, which leads me to two other memorable scenes. One when she told Jax "Do you know that everyday, every hour of every day, every hour of everyday you mean more to me."

Another was when Jax said "You just tell me what I can do to make you happy and I'll do it." B: "Kiss me." J: "I'm serious." B: "Kiss me." J: "Are you sure you don't want me to bring you a thimble of snow from the tallest mountain in the world? You name it and it's yours." B: "Kiss me again."

We were able to watch the progression of their love for one another, and I feel so fortunate that I was able to watch the creation and continual growing of such a beautiful love story. J&B showed me the importance of going for what you want in life, and particularly love... to never give up and to "always try again". I loved it when in Malibu II Jax toasted Brenda for "not leaving the table until she won the game" and Brenda toasted Jax for "teaching me to play for keeps."

J&B loved life and lived it to the fullest. When I think back to when Brenda "died" I was devastated right along with Jax. Brenda had such a free spirit and brought so much happiness to Jax's life, I just couldn't imagine Jax without Brenda by his side. I don't think it really hit me until Jax went off to Monte Carlo to win his fortune back with only the ruby bracelet as his good luck charm and without Brenda. Though it's almost been a year since Brenda has been at his side I don't think an episode goes by when I don't think of J&B. It is particularly hard when something happens on the show that screams out J&B. For example when Jax and Alexis' plane crashed in the Sahara and Alexis had just found Jax she leaped into his arms. It was a patented Brenda leap, and thought it should have been her leaping into Jax's arms, not another woman.

I think Jax can honor Brenda's memory by loving life, living it to the fullest, and being happy. He should continue to remember all the love they shared and be able to share those feelings with people that are meaningful in his life (until she returns). Until then I will continue to hang on to all of my J&B memories (and tapes) and know that Jax meant it when he said "Goodbye is simply not in our vocabulary" and Brenda meant it when she told Jax "I want you so much, only you...forever. Nobody leaves this time remember." I continue to have faith that VM will be back as Brenda and when she returns, with their child in hand, they will finally have their candlelight wedding ceremony they so much deserve. Their relationship reaffirmed to me that life is meant to be enjoyed and shared with someone you love and can be completely honest with, without reservation. When you love someone completely you share everything with them. What happens to them, happens to you, and J&B definitely had that. Jax and Brenda will always be in my heart.

I started watching GH about a week after VM first appeared, and I fell in love with Brenda from the start, but quit watching due to school, and other activities! I stated watching again on the day of (J&B's) first kiss! I never really loved a couple until IR came and J&B became a couple! I thought having a relationship based on being friends was actually a great idea, but there was something more; magic! They were sweet and had chemistry and I couldn't wait for them to come on my screen everyday! They were sexy and I miss them everyday! I feel that if it hadn't been for this board and all the fanfics, we all would be missing J&B so much more.

I would love for Brenda to come back with a little girl named Jillian! They could finally get married, legally, and have a perfect little family!