hospitalstay

Hospital Stay

I was having the most awful afterpains. I was fine if I was laying down in my bed, but if I went to sit up or stand it felt as though my insides were ripping apart. I'm sure it was a pretty big shock for my body to not have 13lbs of baby inside anymore and all my organs and stuff were trying to shift back into place. It was very painful so my nurse gave me some medication for it. I don't know what it was called as I was pretty out of it at the time, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It made me so ill. I was still in pain, but now I was dizzy again and felt like I was going to vomit at all times. My eyes were rolling back in my head and I couldn't think straight. All I wanted to do was go to the nursery to see Michael but I couldn't get out of bed. Michelle was sleeping in her bassinet this whole time being an absolute angel. My IPs still hadn't arrived yet.
Finally at about 3:00pm I decided I had had enough and I was going to see Michael no matter what. Jason and my nurse helped me out of bed and into a wheelchair and took me to the special care nursery. Michael was awake, but I was unable to touch him. He was in an isolette and was on oxygen because he still wasn't breathing very well. They told me they had discovered a heart murmur which would require further testing. He was going to be transported the next day to a major hospital in a nearby city. They told me at that time it wasn't necessarily anything to be too concerned about as a lot of babies have heart murmurs and don't have any problems, but that it needed to be looked at. After a little visit I went back to my room to rest.
I think it was about 4:00pm when Doug and Kay got to the hospital. They came into my room and got their first look at their new daughter. They held her and got to know her a little and I explained why Michael wasn't in the room with us. It was really wonderful to see them with their new baby, I just wish both of the babies could have been there.
We then went to see Michael. The nursery staff was really quite rude to my IPs and I was very upset about that. The nurses wouldn't give any information about him to Doug and Kay, they weren't allowed to visit without me and they weren't even allowed to take pictures of Michael until I had signed this form stating it was okay (even though I had already explained the whole situation to them before). Even after I signed the form I didn't feel as though they were treated well by the staff----certainly not like they were Michael's parents that's for sure.
Thankfully I started feeling better in the evening. Since there was not really much of a place for my IPs to sleep in the hospital (just one of those mats to put on the floor) we all decided it was best if they stayed at a nearby motel that night and I could just look after Michelle until morning. They left around 9:00pm (I think, I was still a little out of it) and Jason went home around 10:00pm. I really enjoyed having that time with Michelle. Getting to do all those things like changing her diaper and feeding her, it gave me lots of time to say my goodbyes to her (even though it's not really goodbye) and just get to know her a little more.

Day 2 In the Hospital (December 23, 2001)

I woke up feeling 100 times better. My pain was under control, I wasn't sick, and I was told I could even go home that day. They were transferring Michael to the other hospital later that morning and I was glad that Doug and Kay could take Michelle home and also go visit Michael so he wouldn't have to be in the hospital by himself for too long. Unfortunately Doug and Kay would not be able to visit little Michael until I made it to the hospital to sign some more consent forms, and I wasn't going to be able to make it there until the next day.
The whole time I was in the hospital I was waiting for my hormones to kick in. I had prepared myself to be a little weepy for a while and I basically was just expecting to have a whole range of emotions. I was quite surprised when all I felt was pride for helping create these special children and a great sense of joy watching Doug and Kay do all the little things like changing diapers, rocking the babies, feeding, etc.
The time I did cry in the hospital was when the transport team took Michael away. I stood there and watched them prepare him for the trip and I held his hand and told him goodbye. Then as soon as they started wheeling him away the tears started coming. Even though I knew I had to say goodbye, and I am so glad Doug and Kay finally have a family, and even though I know it's not goodbye forever I just had to let those emotions out and have a good cry.
Then the time came to fill out the babies birth registration forms. We found out the laws here in Alberta are really quite "behind the times". Basically we were told that no matter who the biological father of the babies are, if I am married, my husband must be considered the natural father of them. So even though we know these children were not conceived by my husband and I, that's what has to go on the registration. It was just really hard to fill out the forms knowing I was putting down false information, but not having a choice---not to mention how terrible it felt for me to have to give the twins our last name instead of Doug and Kay having their children take their name. We'll have to wait until all the legal stuff is taken care of for that to happen.
Doug and Kay gave me a gift in the hospital, which I have to say is the most special gift anyone has given me. It makes me cry every time I see it so I must confess I keep it in the box most of the time except for occassional peeks! The note attached said "When we first met you shortly before Christmas last year, I thought of you as a Christmas Angel with your long blonde hair and your offer of help. Now you really are a Christmas Angel this year giving us two beautiful babies" (ok, I'm tearing up again) And then the gift was a snow globe with an angel inside---the music it plays is "Hark the Herald Angels". So needless to say that is something that I will always hold close to my heart. I don't know what else could have possibly made me feel any more special, or any happier that I had helped these wonderful people have children.
The nurse came to check me over and give me my WinRho shot (ouch!). And the pediatrician came to check Michelle over and give us the okay to head home. It all went well so we got Michelle settled in to her carseat and headed downstairs. I said my goodbyes to Michelle and tried to stay strong and not cry. I was doing really well until Doug came over to me to say goodbye and he was all choked up and said "Thank You" to me, and of course that's when I lost it again. We hugged and said our goodbyes and headed home.
I felt so full of love as we drove home. I had just been through such an amazing experience with really wonderful people, I had just given birth to 2 precious children, I was heading home to be with my own 2 super kids, and I was sitting in the car with my awesome husband. I really can't say enough about how great Jason has been through this whole process. I think it takes a pretty special man to even agree to his wife getting pregnant with another couple's baby(s) in the first place! And then throughout the pregnancy, when I was tired he did more than his share of housework, diaper changing, cooking etc. Near the end he did pretty much everything around the house, plus he had the added chore of massaging me everyday. He did so much, and rarely did he ever say anything about it; he just took care of everything. Then in the hospital he did everything he could to make me comfortable, he went out of his way to make sure I knew how loved I was, and was just such a strong support for me. He is truly amazing and I know I can never thank him enough.
I got home and tried to relax a little bit, but then I got a phonecall from the hospital where Michael was. They had done an ultrasound on his heart and found he had a major heart defect. One of his valves was quite small and wasn't letting the blood flow through properly. This would require surgery the next morning. The surgery was necessary (he wouldn't survive long without it) but it also was risky. It was very hard to hear this news, and it was even harder knowing I would have to phone my IPs to tell them the news (I still hadn't signed the consent forms at that hospital so they weren't allowed to tell them any information). We never expected that he would have a problem, we were just hoping his heart murmur was just "one of those things" that happens and it wouldn't cause him any problems. It's hard to comprehend the fact that a newborn baby will have to go through a major surgery only days after his birth.
I had to wait a little while to contact Doug and Kay (they would still be driving home). It was a very long wait. I talked to both of them at the same time and tried to remember every single detail the nurse had told me on the phone. It was so hard to have to tell them all of that news. I will never understand how the nurses who work in the NICU deliver this kind of news to parents everyday, it absolutely broke my heart to have to do it (of course, I was worried and upset about all the information too and that made it more difficult). So not only did I leave them with that news, but I also knew they wouldn't be able to go visit their son in the NICU until I got there the next morning. It was awful.