| Jennifer's experience: When we arrived at the center outside of Katmandu, I was feeling like it was the first day of college. Brad and I were immediately separated. I went into the female section of the center, and he took the path to the men's. After handing in my passport, I was escorted up to a brick building. As I walked up the steps and through the door to my room, my first reaction was that this was just like a prison cell. The room had 3 sections with four beds per section. Each bed had a number painted on the wall above it, mine was 45. There were only 7 western women taking the course, and we were all housed in this room. There were two other American women and one British women that I started talking too. None of us were exactly sure what this was all about, but we were ready to take on the challenge. On February 2 the gong rang at 4:00am, and since I am a morning person I was out of bed, dressed and in the meditation hall by 4:15. As I sat on my cushion and tried to get comfortable a voice came chanting over the speakers above my head. About every ten minutes I would shift my position because I was not very comfortable sitting on the floor for so long trying to concentrate on my breath. After the first 2 hours I went to breakfast with my eyes down. I walked into the breakfast line, the women behind the counter served some bean soup, toast and milk, at the last person I raised my head and said,"thank you"...OOPS no talking. She smiled and nodded and I found a seat (on the ground) and began eating. At 8:00 the bell rang again, more breathing, more shifting, more wandering mind, more trying to focus. By the end of the first day I fell into bed at 9:10pm with excitement of the next day and where all this breathing was going to go. On the second day during our lunch break I decided to take a "shower". I soon realized that this meant going outside, filling a bucket with luke warm water at best and going into an out door stall to bathe. It was quite an experince, but I was a pro by the tenth day! By the end of the second day of sitting for 12 hours I fell into bed exhausted and sore with the question in my mind..."What in the hell have I gotten myself into?" As the gong rang on the third day I felt really good and ready to get going. I was still shifting, but my mind was becoming more calm, I was able to bring it back to the breath more quickly. I was extremely determined to stick with the precepts especially the one of no communication. I still had no idea where Brad's seat was in the meditation hall. The fourth day is when we actually learned the Vipassana technique. The last hour of meditation we were asked to sit with great determination and not move at all for the entire hour. I sat at this session until right before the chanting started, which means I had sat for 55 minutes without moving, and my right foot and leg had gone completely numb up to the middle of my calf. I thought as I got up and started moving it would come back to life, but I limped from the meditation hall to the minihall where we saw the nightly video and I still couldn't feel my foot. All throught the video I pounded, shook, and tried to get the feeling back. I was starting to get really scared that I did some serious damage to my foot. I decided to go to bed, and if it was not better in the morning, I would tell someone. Thankfully, I woke up and it was better. As the days went on I got better and better at the technique. I was diligent about not letting my mind wander and I never once opened my eyes during meditation. On the seventh day after meeting with the teacher, I was interrupted by one of the volunteers. She handed me a slip of paper that said my name and a cell 23. I did not know what this meant, but she said, "come five minutes", so off I went with her and three other women. She took us up to a building and me to a door with the number 23 on it when I opened it, there was a cushion and a sign that said please sit this way. "Do you want me to stay in here?" I questioned hesitently. She said, "Teacher says yes". By then the bell had rang for our five minute break, so we went back down to the meditation hall. I was unsure about the cell, but during the next meditation session the teacher dismissed those of us who had cell to them. It was kind of eerie, but I ended up really being able to focus in there. At the end of the seventh day, Brad had caught my eye in the mini-hall, he gave me a thumbs up and I gave it back, but them immediately put my hood up and averted my eyes. After the session, I was walking back and forth outside the meditation hall by myself and I hear, "Pumpkin". I jumped about three feet and realized it was Brad's voice. He had snuck on the top of an observation deck of one of the buildings close to where I was walking. He said, "I just wanted to make sure you are ok". I whispered, "I'm good." And turned and walked away. He said I was "stone cold". By day eight, it was getting more difficult for me to focus during the evening meditation. I was getting tired and ready to be out of there. On day nine I was focused, because I knew day 10 we were going to get to talk again, and I was curious as to how others were doing. On day 10, the men and women were still separated, which was a bummer, because I really wanted to talk to Brad, but I knew that the next day we would see each other, so I stuck with the program. I also found out that others' were not quite as diligent as I was about the technique, but that is why there is no talking during the ten days, so everyone has there own experience without being tainted by others' thoughts and reactions. I was thankful for this, and really surprized at how easy it was for me to keep my mouth shut. Those of you who know me know that I typically enjoy being the center of attention, and my mouth and body are generally in perpetual motion. I actually ended up being able to mediate for up to an hour an a half without moving a muscle. Pretty good, huh? The benefits I got out of the 10 days were that I learned a lot about Buddhism though the hour discourse film every night. I really like the fact that Buddhism is universal, and anyone can practice it. I also now truely understand that I am 100% responsible for my actions and reactions to things that happen to me in my life. I can never say "you make me so angry" ever again, because another person CANNOT make you angry you make yourself angry (or happy or sad or any other emotion). This is a difficult concept to grab onto at first, but when you get it, you get it. That is not to say I will not ever feel these emotions, because that means life would be dull, but it just means that I have to always realize that I always have a choice about how I am going to react to situations that occur in my life good or bad. I am very glad that Brad and I took this course together, as it is another amazing bond that we now share. I could keep on writing for hours about everything I thought, felt, wondered and experienced through the 10 days. It was a lot of really hard work with really great results. BE HAPPY! |