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Day one of jeffreycam.             
Dear WebCam Diary,
Today my locus of control expanded by noticeable degrees. A future media empire was
birthed from the plastic, metal and silicon of my bedside computer. I became a little less
shy -- a little more of an exhibitionist.
JeffreyCam was born today, Sunday August 8, 1999, at 10:30 a.m. central time. Just like
the mad genius from an old horror film, I felt compelled to scream, "It's alive, it's alive!"
upon throwing the final switch.
I sat the little black tennis ball-sized implement on the monitor near my bed, meekly pointing
it in the direction of the computer desk. Peering over my shoulder, I caught myself in profile.
"I look like that?" I remember thinking. "Man, I have a huge nose!" After getting over that little
crisis of self-image, I noticed something else. The shot composition was deadly dull. "We
can't have a boring debut day," I thought. So, I ate breakfast in camera range. I feasted
hungrily on a cinnamon & raisin bagel and a mango peach yogurt.
Chewing on the bagel, I considered the series of events, which led to
having a webcam came into my life. I internauting one day when I found a webcam site of
particular interest. Some guy, who lived in Florida, had a cool homepage with plenty of
cameras strewn about his house.
The kitchen, living room and study all had cameras in them. I was strangely drawn to the
guy's life. It was surreal to see him walking in and out of his rooms, going about his life
like a little hamster in a clear plastic cage. Watching him, I felt like I was intruding into
his life, even though I was obviously welcome to watch it. The whole idea of a webcam in
a home had a certain techno glamour to it, too. I mean, in a society of technology haves
and have-nots, owning a webcam and netcasting a portion of your life has a nerdy glamour
to it.
Well, I told Jim that I wanted to do the same thing, only half-seriously. Jim must have
stored that information away very carefully, because nearly a year later, when Jim had the
time, the technology (an apartment network) and the know-how, he surprised me by
setting up JeffreyCam. In less than an hour, it was all set up. All I had to do was decide on
the proper wallpaper, text, "skin" (frame design) and proper angle for optimal viewing.
After an hour, I got two e-mail messages. The first I'll never forget. It was Heather, who
asked, "I like JeffreyCam. What do I have to do to get Jeffrey undressed?" I laughed so
hard I'm sure the neighbor's heard my roaring!
See, I had just told Jim an hour before that "I won't feel like I'm on display until I get
feedback!" And it sure was an eye-opener. I wrote Heather back, explaining that I was
flattered, but a little too shy to make JeffreyCam adult-oriented. She soon wrote back to
explain that she was a nudist and advised me that "with a webcam, you'll be getting a lot of
strange requests" and reminded me that my body is a palace that I should "never be
ashamed of." I thanked her for her philosophical reminder, on such an auspicious day, it
was great to receive such help. (Heather also commented that I was "really cute and
probably gay," from what she saw.)
I got about 6 other e-mails, though not as entertaining as Heather's (which had also
included her picture, a beautiful, down-to-earth looking 20-something). One standout was
a Quebec couple who had seen my boyfriend, Kyle, and me together and wanted to chat.
They sent three pictures in their e-mail and they were very handsome.
Kyle, Jim and I had a celebratory supper at seven. (Say that six times fast!) It wasn't for
the sake of the webcam, but for the untimely demise of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
MST3K, as the show is known to its fans, is my favorite parody show. This production
team, called Best Brains, takes bad movies and makes them interesting by shouting at the
screen. Sadly, the show had its final episode tonight.
I called Mom and Dad and discovered that America Online users couldn't access my
webcam since they don't get streaming video. How pathetic! I'm glad I'm no longer giving
them my money. Yahoo! is much better for me.
I nearly forgot that I met a fellow JET (Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme) alum
via my webcam. Nick instant messaged me and corrected my handle's spelling
(henagaijin). He was a gay JET in '87, when the program just began. He told me that he
was a "ultra-celebrity," which makes me shudder. I felt like a celeb, even though Japan's
rather worldly now in the mid-90s. But he was there when there were only a few thousand
foreigners in the entire country. He was in Tottori-ken, very rural, just like my own
Wakayama
So that was my first day. I'm still getting used to the idea of a camera in my room. Kyle
was kinda freaked out by it. I could tell he thought it was weird. I hope he doesn't think
any less of me.
My state of mind... It's still so new that I'm not sure how to react to anything. Most of my
thoughts today have been spent on how to filter the messages into a specific folder on my
Yahoo account. (I still don't know how to corral them little doggies into a designated
place, but I'd like to be able to organize them efficiently. That might take time.)
I'm strangely exhilarated, tonight. It's 1:35 a.m. and I can't seem to get to sleep. It was
hard trying to read my bookclub novel, _Name of the Rose_. Somehow, having the cam
on scrambled my attention span. But I'll have to try that again, if only so that I can go to
sleep!
Go home.
[JeffreyCam fades out.]
Day two of my jeffreycam journal.
Dear WebCam Diary,
I can't get this thought out of my head: From a certain perspective, nothing has changed in
this room. In no way has my localized life changed. The physical environment has not
changed. I breathe the same air. The Debussy CD plays the same sensuous music. Yet,
nothing is the same because of a single stream of ones and zeros which is emitted from
the apartment server, located just four feet from my bed.
The server spews out a shower of data: irradiated energy of the visible
light spectrum... into the great digital beyond. To be more technical, it netcasts a live
video stream. The stream begins here and follows the path of least resistance to the
server in Amsterdam. This is sometimes the final endpoint of the data. But most of the
time, the information is diverted to a maximum of eight other computers. Those end-user
computers can be in any city, any country, anywhere in the world.
It trips the light fantastic toward Paris, Berlin, Johannesburg, London, Sydney, New York,
Toronto, Los Angeles or St. Cloud, for example. I just mention those cities because those areas
have been mentioned in the e-mail or chat messages that I've received over the past two
days.
Some of the audience of the JeffreyCam show: was Cameron (nicknamed "Bluedog")
getting ready for bed while doing a little 10 o'clock web surfing in Tampa. He also had a
webcam and sent me his URL upon messaging me. He was a sturdy man in his late 30s,
sitting at his computer. His camera was unusually crisp in its resolution. I could clearly
see Cameron's rough-hewn face, lit by the blue incandescence of his computer monitor.
(The monitor which had my camera's output showing.) Behind him was a knick-knack
strewn living room, dimly lit by an overhead light. I was on the phone with Kyle when
Cameron messaged me and I was describing the experience to Kyle. It was odd to be able
to see him see me.
I was a voyeur's voyeur. I creeped myself out. Since Cameron's screen resolution was so high,
the screen downloaded slowly. This is significant because he had no clothes on his upper
half. Bluedog's face was staring so intently at his screen (with me on it) that I was a little
nervous as I gave Kyle the play-by-play. "What is he doing?!?" Kyle asked, giggling
nervously to match my own uncomfortable stuttering. "Oh, p-p-please have clothes on,
please! I don't want to see any more than I bargained for!" Luckily, he had speedos on,
which was much better than nothing at all.
I wonder if it's better not knowing what the other person looks like. There?s a certain purity
to net-chatting. I like the mind-to-mind connection of the communication. The physical
need not get in the way. The medium might be an efficient way to see into somebody?s
soul, assuming of course that they?re truthful. Otherwise, that naughty yet naive little
blonde waif of a pastels artist that you?ve fallen in love with over the course of a few
months might turn out to be your 450-pound neighbor, Lou, the sociopathic mortician
(the one with all that hair growing out of his ears whose stare you try to avoid when
you see him in the hall). Regular, concienscious reality checks must be performed
during the social intercourse online. Otherwise, you might fall in love with Lou.
It might be The Crying Game meets You?ve Got Mail: a combination of the errors
of human perception and the ironies of electronically-derived emotions.
Emotions. It?s funny how people have reacted to news of the cam. It?s such an
odd concept, so out of the normal realm of everyday affairs that it?s funny what
emotions it provokes in people.
Today at work I spoke of the cam to my boss the page. Before I showed her, I
told her about it and she gave me a pained expression, as if I'd just graphically
described a goiter removal
operation. "Why?" she exclaimed, echoing the same question I'd asked myself a dozen times the
day before. Having explored the matter previously, I gave her a (somewhat canned)
reply: "Because I'm an internaut, a member of the digeratti and a child of the information
age whose need for privacy is outweighed by my desire for attention." She had no response to that.
Kyle tried to find me using Yahoo!. He said there was another JeffreyCam. I had
previously thought that I'd cornered the market on that little name, but it wasn't meant to
be. The other site which shared that name (or something in the Boolean vicinity) was a
gay pornographic site. Funny, huh? I asked him if he'd pulled up the listing to make sure
that it wasn't me. Knowing me well enough not to be shocked by this question, he issued
me a forthright "No indeed! What do you think they would say if they caught me plugging
into a gay porn site at work?!?"
In Detroit, a curious sci-fi fan asked me how someone in Louisiana of all places would
know what a dalek was. (Jim and I both love Dr. Who, which we watched religiously in the
early 80s on Louisiana Public Broadcasting TV.) I had Jim's toy dalek right near the
camera so that it looks nearly life-size. "Hey, Jeffrey! Great webcam!" was another
response garnered, mostly, by the presence of a dalek in the corner of the camera range.
Today I finished working on the "JeffreyCam" banner sign which I have on the bedroom
closet doors, which forms the background for the camera shot. It's large enough (600
point type) to be legible, even through the grainy eye of the webcam. Below the banner is
a small rainbow flag, which proudly displays my sexual affiliation for all to see.
I also finished creating a new Yahoo account, called "JeffreyCamInteractive" which is the
new address for Jeffreycam audience mail. (I want to keep my friends' messages and my
audience's messages separated for the sake of convenience.)
Tonight I'll try to sleep with the eye of the camera on me. I'll try to fall asleep with the
bathroom light on, so that I can be viewed with the low-light setting of the camera. I hope
I can go to sleep knowing that -- electronically speaking -- I won't be the only one in my
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room tonight.
I wonder what I look like asleep? Maybe some one will tell me!
[JeffreyCam fades out.]
Day 122 of my jeffreycam journal.
Dear WebCam Diary,
Well, it?s been an interesting few months with the cam. The possible presence of "the
other" in my bedroom/computer room is completely natural for me now. It?s "just old
hat," as my grandmother used to say.
I have routines in place that are as natural as breathing. Taking a shower? I prepare
the cam for my wet and dripping return to my room. Frisky with the boyfriend? I position
the camera so that it investigates the calendar or the clock instead of my love life.
Studying for a test? I point the camera right at me, so that I can take a break from the
books by checking ICQ to see what people are saying. It works out very well.
Another part that has worked out well for me is the social aspect of the cam. It?s
wonderful to communicate and interact with people while I?m at home with nothing
else to do. Whereas normally, I must shower, shave, dress and primp to socialize,
none of these chores are required for cam-chatting. In fact, I can roll right out of bed
and I?m usually camera ready. It?s great that the resolution can?t really pick up on
unshaven skin, the occasional acne or the baggy eyes. Odd thing, too, how the cam
somehow makes sense out of my face. The big nose and goofy grin actually look okay,
with the help of some magical algorithms or data compression... or whatever the cam
does to enhance the picture.
This has become a great hobby for when I want low-impact, low-effort, low-commitment
interaction with members of the fairer sex (guys!). It?s just a shame that most of the
guys are almost double my age. Whatever.
And I?m hoping to get some Christmas cards from a few of my loyal viewers this
Christmas... who knows? Maybe I?ll get a few cards from overseas. That would be grand!
Sadly, the camera has not been an impetus for a cleaner household, as I thought it
might have been. It seems that its resolution and the usual camera angles do not
allow a sufficiently thorough view of my bedroom for public scrutiny.
Go home.
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