Arrived safely, and we headed to the Hotel Serrano, which was our lodging for the weekend. Being a big fan of the movie Major League, I immediately thought of Pedro Serrano, and asked Joe Boo for a refill. The dude behind the counter laughed nervously and kept his hand over the security button while we filled out the necessary paperwork. We crashed pretty quickly and woke to the start of the SF experience.

Day 1

Perfect weather. 70 and sunny. We went down to the Fisherman’s Wharf area, which is where all the tourists hang (we were determined to be tourists on this trip, although I decided to leave the black socks and Panama hat at the hotel), and rented a couple of mountain bikes. Before taking off on our journey, we checked out a couple of seals lounging nearby, barking and sunning away. Tough life, those seals.

We rode along the wharf area and approached the Golden Gate bridge. As we were doing so, the fog rolled in.

Apparently, it’s a daily occurrence in SF, but we were fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it), to be crossing the bridge when it happened. The temp dropped about 20 degrees, and the wind picked up. It was like being transported to late fall in Baltimore in a matter of seconds. So, our view of the ocean from the bridge was shot to hell, but we did get a nice view of the city and the bay, and some future dental work from all of the teeth chattering.

Once over the bridge, we headed down into Sausalito, which is a charming little town just across the bay. In the pic, you can see the fog at the top of the hill, just waiting to pounce on the heads of the Oompa Loompas of Sausalito. Ok, so they're regular folk, it was just such a quaint li'l area that I kept expecting Willie Wonka to show up or something.

Grabbed some lunch and headed back on the ferry. By this time, the fog had receded, and we had a fairly clear shot of the bridge from the ferry. We also listened to some English folk talking to some American folk about how they were 'on holiday', and the American folk asked what holiday it was. Ok, so you had to be there, but I thought it was pretty comical. To top it off, they were from England and were visiting America on the 4th of July. Talk about cheeky. Here's the pic ...

When we returned, it was still fairly early, and the sun had returned and the fog had retreated, so it was perfect … again. We rode up to Coit Tower, which is one of the higher points in SF, and checked out the view, then zipped over to Lombard Street, aka the most crooked street in the world, or something like that. It's definitely crooked, and crowded with tourists.

Of course, my brain immediately went to those folks living around the area - what would it be like to have tourists driving down your street and taking pictures the whole time? Is it anything like living by OJ?

About a block from the crooked part, we passed a tree with a lot of birds in it. Upon closer review, it turns out that these were the group of wild parrots that roam around Telegraph Hill. It was amazing – no less than 30 parrots were either in the tree or lounging around nearby. Unfortunately, we had an Australian mate take a pic, but the parrots didn’t really show up. Not his fault, I guess they're just too small to show up on our $7.99 disposable high tech camera. So, think of 30-50 parrots in a tree, and visualize the GF and I standing in front of them. Shall we carry on?

From here, we rode back down to the Fisherman’s Wharf to return the bikes, encountering a couple of scary-steep hills on the way. Check your brakes!

We learned our first lesson as tourists soon thereafter. We headed over to the trolley turnaround, in order to catch the trolley back to the hotel. After standing in line for about 90 minutes, we finally got on one, both of us standing on the side and the GF doing the Rice a Roni girl move. Ok, so she wasn't actually dorky enough to DO the move, but she talked about doing it a lot, so I guess that counts.

Pretty cool way to travel, if I say so myself. We learned very quickly that if you go up a couple of streets, you can just hop on at any of the stops, rather than wasting hours of your vacation standing in line and listening to old dudes play out of tune guitars. Yes, we were stupid tourists!

Day 2

Day 2 was centered around one thing – The Rock.

We toured Chinatown and did some shopping (and I have to say it’s kinda hard for a straight man to shop for clothes in SF, unless you like pants that are the colors of the rainbow), but I was just waiting for the prison tour.

The one real feeling I got from SF was a certain eeriness about the city. It’s hard to describe, but I woke up one of the last nights we were there with a very odd feeling. The city has a certain darkness about it. It seems to center around three things – the Bay, the Golden Gate bridge, and Alcatraz, and each have their own unnerving qualities about them. The bay is the gateway to the fog that rolls in each day, and Alcatraz sits in the middle of that bay, dark and brooding. We were hoping to do a couple of walking tours which pointed out more of the mysterious past of Chinatown and other areas, but they weren’t being offered that weekend. Next time.

We left the wharf at around 7 for The Rock. The wind was gusting, and the temp was pretty chilly. Upon arrival, we began to learn a great deal about the facility and it’s inhabitants. While it was a guided tour, there was a period where we wore headphones and were allowed to walk the cellblocks on our own. One of the more interesting things for me was when we turned a corner and saw some cells that were facing the city. They were almost twice the size of the interior cells and I figured this was where the inmates that were ‘good’ were allowed to stay. Completely wrong. Turns out, this was where the inmates that were being punished were sent. The cells were right next to the windows, and it was constantly cold from the wind and damp. Add on the fact that you have the beauty of the city right before you, mocking you 24 hours a day, and I quickly understood. This pic is right around the corner from these cells.

We essentially got the PG tour of the facility, although there was discussion of a brutal escape attempt that ended up in a number of deaths. There was little mentioned of the suicides that occurred there, or of the brutality of life on the Rock. Since, I’ve found a few interesting links on the facility, and my good friend TIVO has caught a couple of good shows on the prison. Here are some interesting links if you want to learn more:

http://www.notfrisco2.com/alcatraz/escapes.html
http://crimemagazine.com/alcatraz.htm
http://www.scrappygraphics.com/Alcatraz/index.html

As the sun went down, we were treated to an interesting dichotomy of views – the beauty of the sinking sun from the grounds of one of the most brutal prisons in American history. Probably my favorite picture from the trip:

Day 3

Day 3 was looking at big trees and driving day. We rented a nice convertible POS, and headed out to Muir Forest on the north side of the city. I enjoyed the luxury of whipping around the winding roads, while the GF merely held on tightly and was pretty good about not telling me to slow down. Redwoods are just fascinating trees – their sheer size just can’t be described. A couple of pictures with us in it for scale doesn't even do them justice.

Hmm. I seem to be bigger than the trees. Where's that Atkins Diet book?

We hiked a bit in the woods, carved our initials in a couple of trees (kidding!) then headed off for wine country to the north.

Now, I wasn’t all that into wine country, but I did like the convertible idea, and we were planning on driving the coast on the way back. Unfortunately, it being July 4th, some of the wineries were closed. We did pass a gathering for some sort of annual pillowfight competition, but declined to attend once we saw some of the attendees (let's just say if the lights went out with these folks around, I'd be hitting the floor and crawling out). We managed to hit one winery that was open, and the GF got a bit tipsy and purchased a bottle. On the way back, I must’ve read the map upside down or something, because we ended up coming down the same road we went up. Being a man, I wasn't allowed to pull over and ask for directions, doncha know.

Once we got back to the bridge, we had been driving for around 5 hours at that point. We decided to head south on route 1 for a bit, in hopes of seeing a view or two. After another 30 minutes or so of driving, I was ready to head back. We decided that we would go another 10 minutes, and then turn around if we didn’t see anything. About 5 minutes later, we turned a corner, and there was Pacifica and what I had been looking for all day – the Pacific Ocean in all her beauty.

Pictures really don’t do these views justice either (have I mentioned the $7.99 disposable camera yet?) – we couldn’t get around each curve fast enough to see what lied beyond. As the GF said, “how many breaktaking views are there?”

Day 4

Yet another day of 70 and sunny – a perfect day for baseball! We headed down to SBC Park to see the Giants and Barry Bonds. Now, I live in Baltimore, home to quite possibly the finest park in the majors, yet I was fascinated as I walked through this park. It’s basically Camden Yards on the Bay, with a couple of cool twists to give it a unique feel.

I was going to beat up a couple of these kids for getting in my picture, but they threw garlic fries at me to ward me off.

The large Coke bottle in left field is actually a kiddie slide, and there's an area in right field where you can watch the game from field level, kind of a tribute to old Comiskey Park in Chicago. All in all, a very nice stadium, although the signature food item, the previously mentioned garlic fries, were tossed after only a few. Bleh.

Funniest moment was when we asked an eldery female usher to take our picture. Apparently, she had never been exposed to the power and technical intimidation of the $7.99 disposable camera! The Horror! She nervously snapped the shot, then commented that she didn't really know what she was doing, and that she hoped it came out. When we got the pics back, we figured she'd have a picture with our heads cut off, or of her thumb or something. This is the pic.

Uh, it's perfect. She even got the Coke bottle, hecka big baseball glove, and the bay in it! Thanks, nice usher lady!

All in all, San Francisco is everything I thought it would be and then some. It has enough of a history to give it a great deal of character, the views and scenery are magnificent, and the weather is an experience in itself. Go there. Now.