| For those of us who take life too seriously sometimes... 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like..night. 3. Well, on the other hand..you have different fingers. 4. 42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot. No lie! 5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 6. Remember..half the people you know are below-average. 7. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 9. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 10. The early bird may indeed get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. 12. I intend to live forever..so far so good. 13. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect to get it back. 14. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. 15. Support bactera..they're the only culture some people have. 16. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 18. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. 19. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. 20. No one is listening until you make a mistake. 21. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 22. Two wrongs are only the beginning. 23. The problem with the gene poll is that there is no lifegaurd. 24. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 25. Change is inevitable..except from vending machines. 26. Get a new car for your spouse-it'll be a great trade in. 27. Always try to be modest and be proud of it. 28. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.. 29. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 30. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!! |