Viewing Life outside the box
3/14/02
I was unsure as to what I was going to expect. I really did not want to think about it. I did not want to create any more preconceived ideas that I already did not have. I wanted to walk in not knowing anything. I knew I would be putting myself into a place that would be different from my norm. I knew it would be a new experience for me. I was not scared, but nervous and anxious. I thought the experience would make me feel awkward. I could no longer withstand the anticipation.
No matter who we are or where we are from, or from this ethnic group or that ethnic group, we have preconceived ideas or prejudices about another racial or cultural group. I have had Korean acquaintances but never really had any friendship with a Korean. I thought they were bossy and rich. Koreans owned every business in the inter city and they are racist. We study different ethnicities to broaden our spectrum of the world. We need to experience and learn new things from different cultures. It makes us more acceptable to change. Hopefully, this will be a factor in our fight against racism and discrimination. “Sometimes the assumption we make about others come not from what we have been told or what we have seen on television or in books, but rather from what we have not been told” (Tatum, 1997, p.4). I am basing my entire view of a different culture solely on what I have seen on television. I was hoping it would be not only memorable but also a positive experience.
I was driving in Korea town, about 10-15 minutes from my house. It was a late Sunday night and just about everything was closed. I came across a 24-hour Korean Tofu restaurant, called BCD Tofu House. I was with my younger sister and my friend, who was visiting from college. We walked in and the aroma was very pleasant. We waited a few minutes then a young man that did not speak English all to well began to explain to us why we could not be served. We were all confused. He was pointing to the kitchen and mumbling words that I did not understand. At this point I became upset. I thought my preconceived ideas were true, Koreans were racist. I thought they did not want to serve us because we were black. I was thinking to myself, this would make for a great paper, but I was still upset. So we got in the car and decided to wait. We wanted to see if an Asian party walked up would they be served. From the car I saw that same man explaining to three young Asians women that something was wrong with the kitchen. I was pleased to see that they did not server us because we were black. BCD is a chain restaurant. They had another location about five minutes away. So we decided to go there.
Once again we walked in and were greeted with a lovely aroma. As we walked in the people there did look at us as if they were thinking, “What are these people doing here?” The table we sat at had a grill or heated in the middle of the table. I had never seen anything like this before. They brought three eggs and placed them the table. We each ordered I was unsure about the food, so I just got Teriyaki chicken. My sister and friend had some sort of Tofu Soup. They brought all these different, what we thought were appetizers, to the table. Then they brought three bowls of rice of the table. We began to take the rice out and put it in our separate bowls. A young lady and her mother began to laugh. They saw what we were doing and told us, “The rice is still cooking and the waitress is supposed to serve it to us. First time here I take it?” We felt embarrassed and tried to put the uncooked rice back in the original bowls. They brought us our food. She then took those three eggs, which we thought were hard-boiled and cracked them and put them in my sister and friend’s dinner. The egg would cook while they ate. All those so-called appetizers were different spices for the main course.
This restaurant was different from any place I had ever been to. They only had one saltshaker on the table, no other condiments. They brought out all types of different spices at the beginning. Everyone there was drinking water. Soft drinks were unusual to drink. By special request one could have had a coke. I was unsure as to how to eat the food. I have used chopsticks before, but I did not know if there was any type of method or preparation. At first I was unsure as to what it would be like to be the “other.” I was usually part of the whole, not the few. It was different for me being the newcomer. However, I went into this experience with an open mind and I was willing to learn new things.
From this experience I came up with two theories or concepts that applied to this situation. I found out the concept of being the other, could be a positive experience and we are all different but in reality we are the same.
Being the other is normally a negative concept. The other refers to the outcast, the person that is of the minority. I found that being the other was a humbling experience. It gave me a chance to view life outside of the box. When someone is the other, they may feel afraid or uncomfortable. I was not afraid nor uncomfortable to the point where I had to have my shield up at all times. I remained aware but at the same time open minded. Being the other makes me feel unique. It puts me in a position where I can learn something new.
We are all different but we are all the same. “The differences among [people] are complementary if we will just follow our natural constructs, not our social one” (LaRosa & Betterman 2000, p.17). I may have been a different race from those in the restaurant or spoke a different language, but we were all there to relax and enjoy ourselves. The owner and employees were there to earn a living. We may have different cultural, religious, or even political views, but deep down in the core we are all the same. The restaurant was a place for young couples on a date or even an entire family. We have different thoughts and do things differently but overall, we are the same.
“Ideas that improve the overall stability and development of the system will replicate, while ideas that don’t will naturally iterate into obscurity” (Rushoff, 1996, p.266). This idea of learning new experiences will work. The lessons I learned from this experience is that I need not to prejudge. Even if we look different people are still willing to help. I also learned that a simply asking a question in the correct manner could get me somewhere. The people there may have been laughing at us, because we did not know what we were doing but the laughter was not to mock or make fun. It was just laughter.
To be submerging myself into a place where I am the only one is strange. I was timid, nervous, anxious, happy, and scared all at the same time. It gave me a better understanding about people that are of different race than me. We need to try new things to get a better view on life. African professor Kofi Opoku said, “If you have not been outside of your mother’s home, do not say your mother’s soup is the best.” We need to experience things that we are not accustomed to. The overall purpose of the ethnic and women’s studies class and this experience is to make everyone aware. To make a person’s life that much better, to make that person look at life in a different way, to view life outside the box.
Sources:
LaRosa, C.S. & Bettermann, E.H. (2000). Hate hurts: how children learn and unlearn prejudice. New York: Scholastic Inc.
Rushkoff, D. (1996). Playing the future: What we can learn from digital kids. New York: Riverhead Books.
Tatum, B.D. (1997) “Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?” and other conversations about race. New York: Basic Books
Commentary: Very interesting experiecne, however the food was not that good
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