So you thought you could get away from the troubles of real life by submerging yourself in a virtual one?
Think again.
If anything, problems on the Disc can be even more baffling and irritating than real life problems. At least in real life, you know where you stand. You'll never be chased by wolves, or get killed and have to wander around as a ghost until someone resurrects you. This all happens on the Disc, and the best way to deal with it is to know when you're facing it. This person I know met a wolf for the first time and proceeded to pet it. Until it killed her, that is. So this page is basically for you to learn about the problems you can face on the Disc, and hopefully, how to deal with them or avoid them if possible. For some of the problems like NPCs and danger areas, you can refer to the Danger-meter, which tells you how dangerous the problem is - one star being the most innocent dangers, and five stars being absolutely suicidal. The other problems are usually the long-standing problems that you will always face, like money, fighting etc. Have fun! :)
PS: Words in RED were added in on the 28th of September 2000.
NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS
As a newbie, there are certain NPCs you really shouldn't be hanging around with, mainly because they are pretty damned evil...:) I vividly recall an incident where I was lost in the wolves trail and came across a bear, who proceeded to chase me around the trail until I was even more hopelessly lost than I already was...and it was by absolute chance that I found the exit. This was without a doubt one of the scariest situations I have been in. But anyway. Here are the NPCs you should generally avoid being around, or at least avoid attacking.
WOLVES, BEARS AND YETIS
EVIL TROLLS
I stand corrected on the previous point: I've just been informed by a reliable source that they do in fact chase you, unless you're moving really really quickly, or you're using a Speedwalk Path.
PRIESTS AND CATS
WIZARDS
PRIESTS IN ANKH-MORPORK
OFFICERS OF THE WATCH
MEAN MERCENARIES
DEALERS AND BODYGUARDS
THIEVES' GUILD HEAVIES
Can't think of any more...will be updated when something comes to mind :)
DANGER AREAS
There are certain places on the Disc you should not be going into unless you are with skilled fighters, have excellent covert and stealth skills, or have a suicidal wish. Here they are, in no particular order.
THE SHADES
THE ASSASSINS GUILD
UNDER THE DOCKS
THE GLOOMY FOREST
THE WOLVES TRAIL/PEKAN FORD AREA
THE TROLL HEADS BAR
THE RAMTOP MOUNTAINS
What else...ermm....this should be pretty much it, I'll be getting back to this section if I remember anything else.
MONEY
One of the major problems on the Disc - without money, you will get nowhere in your Guild, and if you get nowhere in your Guild, you won't get any money. Kind of a vicious cycle, really. This section covers everything you'll need to know about the basic concepts of money on the Disc. Note: for currencies, I've only covered the main five types. Collectively (in all my characters) I'm about 20 days old, and I've never even heard of the others. You might want to find out later on, but by then you should be all right by yourself :)
CURRENCIES
Ankh-Morpork currency is the one that players are most familiar with, usually. It's counted in dollars, pence and royals - hundred pence to a dollar, and a hundred dollars to a royal. This currency is used in (surprise, surprise) Ankh-Morpork.
Provincial currency is a little more rustic - you get bronze coins, silver coins, gold coins and platinum coins. It's used in Holy Wood, Dinky, Pekan Ford, Hillshire, Sheepridge...basically central Disc area.
Lancre currency is counted in those ancient Victorian sort of things - farthings, ha'pennies, pennies, tuppence, sixpence, shillings and crowns. I've never bothered about the values, but maybe I should...I'll get back to this one. This currency is used in and around the Lancre area, including Ohulan-Cutash.
Djelian currency is the funny-sounding one - 10 ptascpi to a talon, 10 talons to a toon, 10 tooni to a talent. Used only in KLK area.
Ephebian currency is comprised of derechmus, drachmas, staters and mina. Used mainly in the Oasis, and I THINK, around the pyramids in Klatch. Not really very very important to a newbie, as most newbies don't venture out of Ankh until they're a lot older. But never mind.
HOW TO GET IT
The hardest part...:) There are quite a few ways to go about this particular problem, and I'll try to cover most of the more essential ones.
Stealing. The most obvious way to get money, and my favourite :) To do this, you must have covert skills, i.e. a thief or an assassin, or learn it from a thief or an assassin, which is far more expensive. Stealing will get you all the money you need, more so if you're proficient at it.
Killing NPCs. Another useful way to get money, and some of the richest people I know are very very good fighters, e.g warriors (at least it's one thing they're good for) :P When you kill an NPC, you can take everything they own, and sometimes it can prove to be a lucrative past time. This is my second favourite way to get rich :) Certain NPCs are wealthier than others: merchants, dealers and mercenaries are usually loaded, NPC thieves have lots of thief-ish items like black masks and black silk shirts that do sell for quite a bit of money. You should look at an NPC to see if it's worth killing them...unless you're just on an xp-gathering spree, in which case, kill anything that moves.
Searching. In my opinion, this is a sort of pathetic way to get cash, but it's all that newbies can do until they join a guild and start learning. The way to do this is to search every room you are in and pick up anything you see. Sometimes you can find stuff that sells for a considerable amount of money, if you're lucky. If you're not, you'll get rubbish.
Selling belongings. If you have something you don't really need, or are desperate for cash, you can sell some of your stuff to other players by shouting something like "Who wants to buy a [whatever]?". Provided that the thing you're selling is quite worth a player's time and money, and is in pretty good to excellent condition, you will get a few offers.
Selling services. Once you've gotten somewhere in your guild, you can sell certain services (no not THOSE kinds of services, you sad deprived human being) for money. A few examples are portal or passage services, weapon-fixing services, enchantment services etc. This option is not really open to newbies, but it is useful to know that sometimes your guild skills do pay off.
Doing quests. Some quests do pay a bit of money, not all of them though. It's your job to find out which :) Other quests require money, and there are more of these than there are quests that give you money.
Borrowing money. You'll find that there are a lot of generous people on the Disc, and sometimes asking for money will get you results; however, this is usually labelled as begging...:) You can also borrow money from Disc friends (yet another reason to make lots of them :P KIDDING).
That should be it...I can't think of any other way right now, but those are the basics. Hopefully this has helped you a bit...:)
EXPERIENCE POINTS
What are experience points? Well, experience points, or "xp" as they are colloquially termed by players, are a continual acquisition of points based on time spent on the Disc. There are quite a few ways to get xp, but one of the main ways is "idle xp", where you get points just for spending time on the Disc. This, however, is a relatively tiny number, and although your xp does increase, it does so VERY VERY SLOWLY. Another way to get xp is to move from room to room - it's 5xp every time you go once in any direction; this is also a very boring way to spend time on the Disc, and generally it isn't worth hopping back and forth between rooms just to get the miserable 5xp each time. Here is a list, and a short description, of the other ways you can get xp.
Fighting. There isn't ever an exact value for the amount of experience you get while fighting, but generally it's a lot more than you'd get just sitting around. Burying the corpses after you've killed them also gives you a bit of xp.
Using your guild skills will always give you good experience. For example, if were a priest, I would gain xp by casting my rituals frequently, or if I were a thief, I'd get xp by stealing, shoplifting, filching, sneaking, palming etc.
Grouping is another way to get good xp, and is usually popular amongst the more proficient fighters of the Disc. It's basically a few players forming a hunting group and setting forth to do as much damage to the NPC part of the population as possible. It can be lots of fun, and it can also get you killed.
Teaching your skills to other players is beneficial both to the teacher and the student, because both gain from it - you get quite a bit of xp, and your student gains the skill. To teach someone something, type teach [skill] to [person].
Quests. This is where the large amounts of xp are acquired. Completion of a quest will guarantee amounts of experience points above 10K, and can range anywhere from this to 100K, depending on certain factors like how often the quest is done, how long ago it was since it was last done etc. The creators have implemented a new quest xp system due to the inordinate amount of quest lists floating around on the Internet, to discourage quest solutions being shared amongst players. Kinda sucks, I think.
The reason I put experience points under "Problems" is because it really is a problem when you don't have enough of it. Experience points are essential for advancing in the guild, and money is really a secondary factor most of the time (until you get to higher levels, and except for wizards). The more you advance your skills in the guild, the higher the amount of xp you need, and the more money you need too. Right now as a level 82 priest, it's costing around 15K xp to advance some of my faith skills, and exponentially, I figure by the time I hit level 100, I'm going to be needing at least 60K to advance some of my higher skills. It's just starting to annoy me a bit, since I've become much too lazy to do quests (I mean, I've done them before in my other character, do I REALLY have to go through all of it again?? And YES I know the answer to that is "yes"). *sigh* Life just gets harder and harder...
DEATH
MY, MY, WE'VE BEEN A BIT CARELESS, HAVEN'T WE?
If you've never died before on the Disc, this will seem like meaningless crap (as does the rest of my homepage, I'm sure). If you HAVE died before, you will know exactly why these words strike fear into the hearts of all...
Dying on the Disc is quite an annoying thing to have happen to you. You get seven lives, and if you die 7 times, you die "completely", so to speak, and your character is deleted and you have to start over. Most people are paranoid about the number of lives they have ("Oh my god I've died for the second time!!!! Where do I buy a new life???"), but you CAN actually buy a new life for $300.
OK, I've just died. Now what?? You're currently a bodiless spirit wandering around, and to begin with, you will probably be standing next to your corpse. The first thing you should do is seek out a trustworthy Disc friend, or someone who is willing to help you to guard your corpse from thieves (NPC or players :P). It's usually considered bad form to steal from player corpses, but it does happen, so you should do everything you can to guard against this. Once you have someone to look after your stuff, you should try to get a priest to resurrect you - type "who priests" and find a high level priest of Pishe (one of the few Gods who permit resurrection skills in their followers) who's willing to help you. Players are usually pretty sympathetic about dead people, so chances are definitely in your favour. When you've reappeared in a more solid form, head back to your corpse, collect your belongings, thank your friend/helper and you're done! :)
But I'm in a really really remote area and there's no one close enough to help me! If you're somewhere like Ohulan-Cutash, there is a Temple of Small Gods to the south of the market square - just go inside and wait for about a minute, and you will be restored to your fully solid form. There is a disadvantage because you lose all the experience points you had before you died, whereas if you get a priest to restore you instead, you retain the xp. However, beggars can't be choosers, unless you would like to stay as a ghost. If you're in some really out-of-the-way place like the Ramtops or the Gloomy Forest or something like that, you have two options - trek back to Ankh (you're a ghost so you can't get killed again) so you can get restored properly by a priest, or get someone to come to you. The disadvantage with the first option is that you have to go back to retrieve the items from your corpse, and risk getting killed again by the thing that killed you in the first place. The disadvantage with the second option is that if you're in a really remote and dangerous area, there aren't many people who'd be willing to go all the way out there just to help you, although you will definitely find some really nice players around, and might even be lucky enough to get their help.
You seem to be listing a lot of disadvantages... Well, dying IS a disadvantage, and I generally try to avoid it as much as I can :)
You'll probably find that many players are very helpful when it comes to death, as they probably understand what you're going through. If someone refuses to help, just ask someone else. Dying as a whole concept is very much a part of Disc life, and I don't know any relatively old players who haven't died at least once. It's when you rush out into danger areas manically waving your...frying pan or something...that you're really asking for trouble. I have a friend who's not even two days old and has died 8 times...then again, I'm about 8 days old and I've died once. So it really depends on how foolhardy (my friend), or how much of a chicken (me) you are. Not that I don't kill things :) Just that I don't risk a lot :P
Avoid whenever possible. And when you see one, run like hell. These creatures will attack on sight, are very very deadly and should never be attacked alone, or even in a group that isn't extremely good at fighting. Many players like killing them for fun and laughter, and admittedly it is a good challenge; however, having said that, newbies and wolves/bears/yetis don't go very well. Wolves and bears can be found on the Wolves Trail, or in the Gloomy Forest, and Yetis are abundant in the Ramtop Mountains.
Usually found in the Gloomy Forest, these NPCs are aggressive and usually very tough. I've never actually stopped to look at one (contrary to popular belief, I am NOT suicidal), but I don't think they have much in the way of financial reward for being killed. I might be wrong, though. They attack on sight, but don't usually follow you if you move out of the room.
Not in Ankh Morpork, but in Khot-Lip-Khin - these two types of NPCs are sacred and if you kill them in KLK, you will, without a shadow of a doubt, get thrown into the Djel River and die. No question. Do not kill them.
Wizards are usually pretty easily killed, but watch out for their exploding satchels, these can knock off anything from 300 to 800 health points, and possibly more, if you're unlucky. These are their only forms of defence, though, so if you survive the blast, chances are you'll kill them very quickly after that. Wizards can generally be found throughout the city, although if you head up to Sator Square and the Plaza, you'd have a bit more luck finding them.
Attacking priests in AM is usually pretty safe and sometimes quite lucrative, if you chance upon a priest carrying a black samite robe. However, be prepared for the priest heavies, who may come running to protect the priest/ess being attacked, in which case, just run away. No worries. Priests are found everywhere in Ankh, but you can almost always count on finding at least one on the Street of Small Gods.
Quite often the attack target of a few brave souls on the Disc, the Officers are there to arrest people killing NPCs in Ankh. They're not particularly brilliant at it, judging by the number of corpses I see lying around, but it does get annoying if they throw you in jail. They are usually quite tough to beat in a fight, and even if you do beat them, beware, as the next time you meet Captain Carrot, he won't say hi, he'll arrest you. And like I said, it does get quite annoying being in jail. They are found anywhere in Ankh, and especially in and around the Watch House on Short Street.
These NPCs are usually moderately difficult to kill, and they would be rated lower on the Danger-meter if it weren't for their group cohesion - attack one mercenary in a group and you're up against all of them. If they're alone, however, they're a little less difficult to kill :) Found throughout the city, but usually around the seedier Southern area of Ankh.
It's really annoying if you find a dealer NPC or a merchant whose purse is bursting with coins, and see a huge imposing bodyguard next to him/her. The dealer is almost always weaker than you, but the bodyguard would be more of a bother killing, and the problem is that the bodyguard usually protects the dealer from harm. A way around this, I've found, is to make sure you can kill the dealer in less than two or three blows, then the bodyguard doesn't do anything. Neither of them are aggressive, and can be found throughout Ankh.
This small bit of information is especially directed to thieves - if you don't have a license to steal (to use the James Bond lingo), DO NOT STEAL in Ankh Morpork. There are Thieves Guild Heavies everywhere, and you will get beaten up until you're near death, and taken away somewhere...I've seen this happen to a good Disc friend, so this account is completely accurate. I will concede, however, that you may not get caught; however, I wouldn't try it if I were you.
NEVER EVER go in here. Well, you can if you want to, but I would really really really advise you against it :) In here you can find all the NPCs with a Danger rating of over four stars, and in addition to that, you don't have your normal north/south/east/west exits, you have numerical exits instead. And there aren't even any set patterns for the numbers, so it's more than likely you'll get lost, and imagine getting lost around those four-star NPCs I mentioned earlier.... The Shades is located off Sweetheart Lane (it's another one of those Discworld ironies - nothing could possibly be further from romance than the Shades), down south of Ankh. There is a map of the Shades here, which is also another pretty decent Guide-To-Discworld-MUD page.... :P Anyway. I've never gone into the Shades, and I don't intend to. Ever. You may call me whatever you want, chicken, coward etc, but I prefer to call it self-preservation. I.e., I don't like dying.
Completely safe until you try to venture past the secretary in the back rooms of the guild, all the way south from the Guild entrance off Filigree Street. I've had a personal firsthand account of what happens - you get shot and dragged out onto the street outside the Guild, where you die. It doesn't matter how tough you are, or how good at sneaking, you WILL get shot. It's a mathematical certainty. I've heard that the Ohulan-Cutash Assassins' Guild has the same effect if you try to go somewhere you shouldn't. I'll get this confirmed one day.
The location of one of my more insipid deaths - I was wandering around the Southern Docks on the far northwest corner of Ankh, and drowned under the docks because I didn't realize I was under water. From this experience, I learned that if this ever happens to you, type drop all VERY QUICKLY and head up as fast as you can. You won't be able to go up if you're carrying anything more than one item, which is something I learned through having to retrieve the stuff from my corpse one bloody item at a time...luckily I had the help of a very nice player, Wishes, who guarded my stuff until I'd got everything. Unfortunately, my pet dragon drowned following me under the docks...:(
For reasons I've mentioned earlier, don't go in here unless you're using speedwalk paths or something, and ALWAYS STICK TO THE TRAIL. This is not a nice place. To put it mildly.
There are always wolves around here, and like I said, wolves are definitely not your most genial hosts. I know one foolhardy friend who ventured alone into the Trail and came face to face with 18 (yes, EIGHTEEN) wolves. Scary, yes? But to be fair, I've been lost in the Trail with a lousy fighter and we never came across any. I suppose it depends on your luck, but luck isn't really something I want to risk my life on.
This friendly neighbourhood bar is just the sort of place you'd go to if you want to get beaten up and killed horribly. OK so maybe it's not so friendly. Located on Romeo Street (another Discworld irony), merely entering it will very certainly get you beaten up very badly by the four or five trolls inside. A way to get around this, I've found, is to stand in front of the door, knock on it (you may or may not have to do this, I usually do it just to be safe) and say "Alfred sent me". Don't ask me why. I just saw someone doing this one day, and they appeared to emerge more or less alive.
Home of the Yetis - for thieves and assassins, you can get away with sneaking around them, and possibly priests could cast sanctuary on themselves, but generally it's much safer to stay away from yeti-populated areas. The Ramtops aren't just dangerous for the yetis, though. Be warned: when walking along a cliffside trail around Bad Ass, Slice and Razorback, typing the wrong direction will get you killed, because you'll fall off the cliff and die. Be careful around here, double check the direction before you press enter.