Part Three

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Love is patient, love is kind.

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“Hey John!” Susan Lewis called from across the admin desk.

John looked up at the older ex-girlfriend. “Yeah?”

“Abby, Luka and I are going to this new jazz club that just opened up. Luka found a flyer for it the other night and thought it might be fun.”

The hair on John’s neck stood up at the mere mention of Luka.

Luka, oh, he’s so hot. He’s an amazing Hamlet.

John pushed the thoughts out of his mind. “No. I’ve got the evening shift tonight. Maybe another time,” he said drolly.

Susan rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she replied and walked away.

“Hey John,” Abby greeted. “Whaddya up to tonight?”

“I’m working,” he said sarcastically. “What do you think?”

Abby put up her hands, “Whoa, a little crabby today? Didn’t you get enough sleep last night?” she teased.

John took a deep breath. “No.” He didn’t expect an inquiry, Abby was never into those, unless it was about his love life or Luka.

No, John was the one who did the asking in ‘their relationship’. John didn’t even know if he could really call it a relationship. The world pretty much centred around Abby. That was until the day he’d had enough and told her off.

Flashback

"You know what? Stop it...don't talk to me about Luka,” he said angrily. “ I'm not your girlfriend. And I shouldn't even be here with you." He leaned against the railing. "I don't want sit on the sidelines waiting for you to break up."

He looked over at a speechless Abigail. "And I don't want to be your friend. It might be convenient for you, but it's not doing much for me."

End of flashback

John awoke from his thoughts and found Abby had left the admin desk.

“Hey John,” Luka’s voice called.

“NO! I CANNOT COME TONIGHT!” he yelled at the stunned Luka.

“Um, sorry. That’s too bad,” he said confused. “But I have a patient in Exam 3 with chest pains and I have a fracture in 1. I just wanted to know if you could take one of them? But if you can’t that’s all right.”

John closed his eyes. Everytime! Everytime!

He nodded his head and took the chest pain in 3.

He really needed a cigarette and his shift hadn’t even begun.

The afternoon dragged on into the night. He wondered who was on the evening shift. John hoped it would be someone with more patience than he had tonight.

~~~

He had just lost a patient. It seemed so simple.

Why couldn’t I close it? Why couldn’t I get to the aorta in time?

John slammed the locker shut. What a way to end the night!

“John, are you all right?” a soft voice slipped into the darkness he was enveloped in. “John?”

He looked up. Deb.

» * »

Jing Mei had walked into the staff lounge knowing full well that John would be upset. She had assisted as the gunshot victim lay bleeding out on their table.

Flashback

“Time of death 9:34 p.m.” Jing Mei informs the nurse.

“John, he’s in v-fib. John, he’s gone.”

She watched him continue to work the patient ignoring the ringing of flatline hounded each of her ears. “John,” she said again. This time, she put her bloody gloved hand on John’s, stopping the frantic massaging of the heart. “There were to many injuries. Even if you had got the heart going, he would have bled out anyway.”

He tore his gloves off and the bloody gown. “Damn it!” he yells, walking out of the trauma room.

End of flashback

“End of shift?” she asked softly. Jing Mei put her arm around his slouched shoulders.

She heard nothing but a murmur. “John?”

“Why didn’t I shock him earlier?” he asked distraught.

“John,” Jing Mei sympathized, “you had to stop the internal bleeding. There was no way you could have realized his heart would give out so soon and fast.”

Jing Mei had never seen John so upset with himself. It really didn’t make sense to her. There was another reason. “John you know this. Why this patient? Why are you so upset about this patient?”

His body flinched at the question. “Nothing.” He shrugged her off like he always did. John hated being confronted with his emotions or dealing with the ghosts of the past. She knew that about him.

She knew a lot about him.

Patiently she waited for John to answer. To start rambling off the reasons why this patient didn’t really upset him. He wasn’t upset at himself. He didn’t expect to be perfect. People make mistakes.

“Deb, he shouldn’t have died.”

She wouldn’t say anymore. Jing Mei knew the pain of a mistake. She knew the sting of death of one who was unknown to her. Hadn’t she almost left this place because of the unexpected turns.

Jing Mei thought she’d dealt with death a long time ago, when she killed that patient under the influence of narcotics. And then it happened all over again, except this time, she was in full control of her facilities.

She watched Carter bury his face into his hands. How many times had she done that?

Her fingers began to gently run through the back of hair. “John, it’ll be okay.”

Jing Mei promised silently to John that she would be here for him. He had so many demons to conquer, it was the least she could do for the only person who cared about her in this place.

He was the only one who could make her feel like it was possible for someone to…to love her.

Please R&R! I hope you guys like it. Keep in mind that it is my first Jinter fanfiction. Be kind!