Disclaimer:  All characters belong to NBC and the verses from 1 Cor. 13

 

 

If I Have Not Love

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

 

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¹If I speak in the tongues^[1] of men and of angels,

 but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a

clanging cymbal.

 ²If I have the gift of prophecy

 and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,

 and if I have a faith that can move mountains,

 but have not love, I am nothing.

 ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,

^[2] but have not love, I gain nothing.
⁴Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

 it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

 ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸Love never fails.

 But where there are prophecies, they will cease;

 where there are tongues, they will be stilled;

 where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

 ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

 ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child,

 I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

 When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror;

 then we shall see face to face.

 Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,

 even as I am fully known.
¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love

But the greatest of these is love.

***********************************

Susan went into the staff lounge to catch a cup of coffee before the next rush of patients should fill the ER. A few nurses and orderlies were mingling, some catching a couple winks of sleep on their break, others catching up on gossip.

"And then Dr. Kovac told Abby that she was doing great, even though, you know, she made that mistake. Man, he’s got it bad for her!" Lily informed.

"Hey guys, catching up on the latest gossip?" Susan asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Hey Dr. Lewis," Malik greeted. "Yeah, but not lots happening around here. Boring stuff you know? Not the juicy stuff."

Susan debated whether to mention the conversation she’d just had with Dr. Chen a few hours ago. Ah, what the heck?

"Well, I heard that Dr. Chen is going to Carter’s for dinner again!" Susan piped in.

Wide eyes filled the lounge and a couple of greedy faces. "What’s up with them?" Lily asked.

Susan sat down on one of the open chairs around the table. "You’ll never guess what’s happening tonight. I think we’ve got a definite winner for the Carter pool!" she laughed.

» * »

"Hi John?" Jing Mei asked, curling the phone cord around he4r index finger.

"Hey Deb!" John exclaimed. "What’s up?"

"I was thinking," she said hesitantly, "maybe I should bring a date or something?"

Jing Mei had gotten home a few minutes ago and decided she would ask about the date. She definitely didn’t think she could handle the night without some support.

"No!" John stated somewhat firmly.

"What?" Jing Mei asked. "Why not?"

"Uh," John stalled, "because I told her there would only be us two."

Jing Mei felt her heart sink. "But John, I feel awkward being the only one to meet her," she admitted honestly.

"I promise it won’t be," John reassured. "Please. I just want you…"

Jing Mei’s heart beat faster as he said those words.

"I want you to be here," John finished.

Jing Mei sighed. "Fine. No date. I’ll be there in about an hour," she replied, then hanging up the phone.

Now she just had to figure out what to wear.

» * »

John had dodged a bullet when Deb asked to bring a date, though, not very well. He rubbed the back of his neck.

His gaze ran across the dining room. Everything was set. Now he just had to get dressed.

~~~

When the doorbell rang, John’s heart began to race. He stopped to fix his tie in the foyer mirror. John took a deep breath and smiled.

As the door opened, John hadn’t expected this vision, which stood before him. Deb was beautiful. She wore a light chiffon dress that silhouetted her body as the evening breeze caressed her. The dress was a pale pink with a neckline that scooped slightly. A dark rose-colored ribbon criss-crossed around her waist and the hem of the skirt rested slightly above her knees. A shawl hung around her shoulders. Her ebony hair was swept up in a twist, with soft tendrils outlining her tan face.

Deb was a vision of beauty.

» * »

Jing Mei felt self-conscious with the gapping John standing before her. Looking at his black suit and satin tie, Jing Mei was relieved she chose to dress up rather than down. It hadn’t occurred to her that she might ask John what type of dress she would need. But Jing Mei decided the semi-formal summer dress would work either way.

And he looked amazing.

 » * »

"Come in Deb," John said, quickly coming to his senses.

Deb nodded and entered the foyer. John took her shawl and handed it to Bentley the butler, who had just entered the room, only to leave again. "You look beautiful," he sputtered.

Deb smiled at the compliment and peered around him. "Is she here yet?"

John swallowed. Here we go. "Uh, why don’t we go into the dining room and I’ll explain," John said.

Please let this work.

» * »

Jing Mei was confused as she headed towards the closed dining room. What was going on?

» * »

John stepped in front of Deb and pushed open the doors, allowing Deb to view the dimly lit room.

» * »

Jing Mei’s heart was racing as she entered the room. From the ceiling, there was a canopy of small white Christmas lights lighting the otherwise dark room. In the center of the room was a candle-lit table set for two.

"John, what is this?" Jing Mei grasped, resting her left hand on her throat.

John stepped in front of her and met her searching gaze. "You’re the girl," he stated.

Jing Mei tilted her head as her mind tried to grapple with his words and the room. She swallowed hard. "Excuse me?"

"You’re the woman I’m falling for Deb," John exclaimed taking both of her hands in his.

Jing Mei pulled away from John. "I’m the woman you were describing last night? I’m the one you’re falling in love with?" Jing Mei stuttered, as the words seemed foreign to her.

» * »

John nodded, his face searching earnestly for some sign of recognition or understanding. He had never felt so scared or vulnerable.

"Deb, yes. You’re the one I’m falling in love with," John confessed.

As he studied her confused face, John knew that Gamma had been right. Deb wasn’t taking this surprise as well as he’d hoped.

"So you lied about the girl?" Deb asked.

"Uh," John paused, carefully sorting out his words. "No? Well, uh, yes. Sort of?"

Deb backed up into the foyer, turning from the speechless John. "What do you mean, sort of?"

John followed her into the foyer. "I was going to tell you, but I ended up saying that I was falling for someone and it ended up turning into a third person, instead of me saying your name," John took a breath. "I was describing you. I just couldn’t get your name out and then my pager went off."

‘This is definitely not how it was supposed to go,’ John thought as he looked towards the dining room.

» * »

Jing Mei was filled with so many emotions that she didn’t know which one she should be feeling first. "I can’t believe you let me believe that you were falling in love with someone else!" Jing Mei exclaimed.

Obviously anger won out.

She watched as John tried to lamely explain the situation. "But I was going to tell you," John pouted. "But when I got paged I thought I could tell you tonight."

Jing Mei looked at him incredulously. "John do you know how sick about this dinner I was?" she asked.

John smiled suddenly, for a brief second. "You didn’t want to meet her?" he asked. "You mean, you were jealous about this girl?"

Jing Mei bit her lip. "That’s not the point. You lied to me!" she cried, trying to divert attention from the question.

John shook his head. "Not really. I f you think about it. I told you the truth, I just left out that the person was you," John admitted sheepishly.

Jing Mei rubbed her forehead. "John, you deliberately…" Jing Mei began again. "John, I thought…" She didn’t know what to say without telling him right out that she was in love with him.

"I’m sorry," John apologized. "I didn’t mean to hurt you."

As John grasped her hands, Jing Mei realized she was trembling. "I thought I was going to lose you John," she whispered, resting her head on his chest.

» * »

When John wrapped his arms around her, he’d never felt happier. "I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how you felt."

Deb looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I’ve always believed, had hoped that you might see me, and that night I felt like you had and then this was like a punch in the stomach. I had faith that as long as you dated those same kinds of women, there was a chance for you and me. We were different John."

John wiped the tears from her eyes. "You were right Deb. You were right," he whispered softly. "I realized what I needed most…was you."

Deb lowered her head from his intense gaze. However, John tipped her chin up until her eyes met his again. Then lowering his lips to hers, which were wet and salty from her tears, John kissed her lightly and softly.

 

Jing Mei wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. "John I love you," she whispered as their lips parted.

Searching his face for some sign of disagreement, Jing Mei only found mutual feelings. "I love you, Deb," John whispered as his arms wrapped around her waist.

Jing Mei’s heart felt like it was going to burst. "So what now Carter?" Jing Mei teased affectionately.

John smiled at her. "How about dinner?" he suggested, turning her around in his arms towards the candle-lit table.

Jing Mei nodded. "That would be lovely."

» * »

News or gossip, whichever you prefer to call it, spread around the ER about Dr. Chen and Dr. Carter’s budding romance. Jing Mei still tried to keep it as private as possible, while John would steal kisses in front of staff members, all the while smirking at Deb.

Chuny and the rest of the Abby fans and betters paid the joyous Jing Mei poolers. Susan got her 50 bucks and the knowledge that she again was right.

The End