Softly Awaken

 

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

*****

So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God's hands, but no man knows whether love or hate awaits him.  

                                                                                                            Ecc. 9:1

*****

 

John shuffled into the kitchen.  Abby had been gone less than an hour after their spat and John waited hopefully by the phone.  It was pathetic, he knew it, but at least he didn’t chase after her.  John was tired of chasing after her and apologizing.  It wasn’t always necessarily his fault but somehow he always ended up apologizing.  He frowned as he was mired deep in thought.  Now how does she do that?

 

On top of feeling horrible about the fight he had with Abby, John felt horrible for ditching Deb.  By the time Abby left and he had gone back to the kitchen, the person he found instead of Deb was Gamma.  “Where did Deb go?” he asked curiously.

 

His grandmother gave him one of her stern and disapproving glares.  “Well I should hope she went home!” she said calmly, pouring a cup of hot water from the stainless steel kettle.

 

“Why?” he asked.

 

His grandmother blinked a few times.  She set down the kettle and picked up the steaming mug of hot water with a twist of lemon.  As she walked towards the hallway, stopping beside him before she exited the room, she frowned.  “Look at the time John?  The girl can’t wait all night for you.”

 

John had glanced down at his watch and realized he had been bickering with Abby for over an hour.  “I didn’t even realize we were in there that long,” he gasped in surprise.  “I lost complete track of time.”

 

Gamma clucked her tongue and sighed.  “John, I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but obviously you’re not happy.  Now you’ve got to think about it John.  Does this have anything to do with that woman you’re seeing?  Every time you are here, you seem frustrated and angry.  I don’t think that’s healthy.”

 

John had rolled his eyes at Gamma.  “You don’t know anything about here Gamma.  You’ve met her once.”

 

“Twice,” Gamma corrected.  “I met her at the hospital and I didn’t like her then.  She lacked any bedside manners.”

 

“Whatever Gamma,” he sighed distractedly.  John didn’t feel like dissecting his relationship with Abby right now, especially with his grandmother.

 

~ * ~

 

John leaned on the kitchen island counter as he looked around the empty kitchen.  It was quiet in the house.  He always hated that.  It always felt like he was alone in this big ‘mansion’ as Abby once described it, even though there were several servants around the house.  That was the second reason about why he spent so much time at the hospital, with the first being the fact that he loved being a doctor.

 

He opened the fridge and pulled out the almost empty box of pizza he and Deb had devoured earlier that night.  John felt like a flake for leaving Deb like that, but when you have an urgent situation like that, in an already complicated relationship, it was the only thing to do.  He would call her tomorrow and she would laugh and lecture him about being a ‘good friend’ and that would be that.  As he thought about Deb, John couldn’t help but sigh.  Why couldn’t all relationships with women be that easy?

 

~~~

 

“So is the rumor true?” Susan asked curiously.

 

“You know more than we do,” Chuny smiled wryly.  “You’re one of them. You’ve definitely got access to the hot gossip.”

 

Susan shook her head and backed away from the small gaggle of nurses and orderlies.  “No,” she said waving her hands in front of her.  She had stuck her nose in where it didn’t belong several times during the week and it caused her nothing but grief.  Jesse, one of the nurses was having a bad day, she and her boyfriend had just had a huge fight and Susan happened to walk in on her in the lounge.  She advised Jesse to get out and forget about her boyfriend, who incidentally didn’t seem to have a problem forgetting about her, and have a good time.  Well, unbeknownst to Susan, like she was psychic by any means, Jesse’s boyfriend had told her to work an extra shift at the hospital because he was preparing to propose to her later on in the evening.  But since Jesse had taken Susan up on her advice and went out, Boyd, Jesse’s boyfriend, wound up sitting in their apartment, with a ring in his hand all night.

Susan definitely was not getting involved.

 

“Sorry guys.  You’re in this one alone!” she chuckled. 

 

As she left to begin her rounds, Susan saw Luka in through the main doors.  She fell into stride with the tall Croatian, who looked a little rough around the collar.  “Are you all right?” Susan asked skeptically.

 

The tall muscular doctor groaned and shook his head slowly.  “Don’t ask,” he warned, as he pushed the cafeteria open.  “Join me for lunch?”

 

Susan shook her head.  “Uh, can’t.  I’m just grabbing a quick snack before I finish my rounds.”

 

“Okay,” he sighed, silently grabbing a tray and slid it along the metal guide.  He glanced at the variety of food, and tried to pick the most palatable out of the small selections.  A bowl of what seemed to be chocolate pudding, a bottle of apple juice and as he opened the small, refrigerated cooler, Luka grabbed a triangular shaped container, holding a ham and cheese sandwich.  He watched Susan grab a bag of Doritos and a can of Coke.  “That’s really healthy,” he said mockingly.

 

Susan rolled her eyes as he reached into his pocket to pay the plump elderly woman, whose hair was bound in an unattractive elastic net.  “You know I don’t need a lecture from you!  Bad eating habits are the least of your worries.  At least I didn’t spend the night wallowing in his sorrows.”

 

He frowned.  “How do you know I was doing that?” Luka asked suspiciously.

 

Susan smiled at Luka’s inability to read people sometimes.  “I didn’t.  And you just told me,” she replied, handing the cafeteria woman her money for her early snack.

 

Luka stuck his tongue out at her and headed towards the far wall, which boasted a newly inserted window in the dreary cafeteria.  “Well, you don’t know the half of it,” he groaned.

 

Susan opened the red bag of processed cheese nachos and flipped one into her mouth.  “Wh-a do you mean?” the chip in her mouth constricted her pronunciation.  As she quickly chewed and swallowed the crunchy delight, Susan pulled out the chair across from him and sat down, quite intrigued.  “What happened?”

 

Luka pulled open the plastic container that kept his sandwich, somewhat fresh.  “I kind of screwed up with Abby.”

 

Susan opened her can of pop and shrugged.  “So that’s old news.  Why don’t you…?”  Susan stopped herself.  She wasn’t going to do it.  She wasn’t going to open her mouth and give the poor clueless man advice.  Susan looked up at Luka’s clouded expression.  She just wasn’t.

 

“You don’t understand.  I all but,” Luka lowered his voice as heads began to turn in his direction, “all but just told her yesterday that I made a mistake and wanted her back.”  Saying it now, a day later didn’t make the situation seem less horrible.

 

Susan coughed, covering her mouth, trying not to spit out the carbonated beverage.  “You…you what?” she gasped, leaning over the table to hear the rest of the steamy details.

 

“More or less I told her that I still had feelings for her.”

 

Susan could feel her eyes widen in disbelief.  She knew she had been bugging Luka about Abby, but for him to out rightly admit to her that he wanted her back?  Now that was something unexpected.  “So what did she say?”

 

She couldn’t imagine what kind of response she would have if some former boyfriend told her that he still cared for her, even though she was dating someone else.  Abby is one lucky duck.

 

“Not much.  I think we’ve both been avoiding each other, trying not to have to sort out the mess I made by opening my mouth,” Luka sighed.  He continued to pick at his lunch.

 

“Well, what do you think you should do about it?”

 

“What can I do?” Luka said somberly.  “She’s with John.  It was a mistake.”

 

“But…”  Susan clamped her mouth tight and swallowed the thoughts that were free flowing.  She shouldn’t meddle in other people’s business.  Susan sighed, checking her watch.  A quarter to one.  “I have to get going.” She sighed.

 

Luka jerked up from his fascination with his sandwich.  “Huh?  Oh, yeah.  Sure.”

 

Susan pushed back her chair and picked up her can of Coke.  “Do you want to talk about it later?” she offered.

 

Luka smiled and shook his head.  He seemed to push the dilemma to the back of his mind.  His brow furrowed and he chuckled.  “No!  It’s not that big of a deal.  Abby’s probably forgotten about it anyway.”

 

Susan raised her eyebrows skeptically at him, though she didn’t voice her doubts about it.  “Well,” she sighed, loathing at the thought of finishing her rounds.  “I’ll see you later?”

 

Luka nodded, though his eyes were stared off into the distance.  He looked up, as if suddenly realizing that Susan had said something.  “Uh, yeah,” he said apologetically.

 

Susan headed towards the cafeteria exit, but couldn’t help but stare after him.  He’s so whipped.

 

~~~

 

“Excuse me?” a woman’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

“Uh, yes?” Luka’s eyes glanced up to meet a pair of vivid green eyes.  His one brow arched at the surprise interruption.  After Susan left during their brief conversation, he went back to brooding over what to do about his feelings for Abby.  “How can I help you?”  She looked very familiar for some reason.

 

The auburn haired woman nodded uneasily as she nervously wrung her hands.  “Um, you don’t know me, but I’m a friend of Jing Mei’s.”

 

Luka smiled and offered her the empty seat across the table from him.  “You know Dr. Chen?”

 

The petite woman nodded as she awkwardly sat down in front of him.  “Yes.  Actually, I’m her brother’s fiancé, Jennifer?”

 

Then the light finally dawned upon him.  She was the woman he had seen kneeling in the room.  As he studied her, the thin delicate gold necklace that lay gently across her collarbone confirmed it.  “Yes.  I’ve heard about you and Dr. Chen’s brother.  I hear he’s recovering quickly?”

 

Her lips curled in an elated smile and her eyes shone at the mention of his recovery.  “Yes,” she said, her shoulders pulled back as she took a sharp intake of air.  “Stephen is doing extremely well.”

 

“Well I’m happy to hear that – for both you and Jing Mei.”

 

She nodded happily, and then unexpectedly her face became solemn and her quiet demeanor returned.  “I was talking with Jing Mei, and your name happened to come up.”

 

Luka leaned forward and frowned.  “What is it?”

 

“Well, I’m scheduled to go to this seminar for work this week, and Stephen’s dad and mom are away at a medical conference…” Her voice trailed off.

 

Luka remained silent, though he smiled and encouraged her to go on.

 

“Well, you see, Jing Mei is going to be working a crazy schedule at Mercy and I feel like no one will be there for Stephen.”  She paused a moment, her eyes darting from the grey cement tile floors to him.  “Jing Mei mentioned you might be nice enough to…well, to check in on Stephen from time to time.”

 

The request didn’t seem like too much of an imposition but he thought he was an odd choice.  “What about Carter?  I’m sure he knows Stephen better than I?  I mean I haven’t even met him.”

 

Jennifer shook her head.  “No, he’s been so kind to check up on Stephen lately that he’s been getting behind on his charts; and Jing Mei and I just don’t want to bother him.”

 

“So Jing Mei thought I had nothing better to do?” Luka teased.

 

Jennifer’s eyes widened and she shook her head vehemently.  “Oh no!” she exclaimed.  “That’s not it at all…”  She looked horrified at the thought she had offended him.

 

Luka shook his head and patted her hand, which was splayed on the table.  “I’m just kidding.  I know what you mean.”

 

Jennifer’s body, which sat rigid, relaxed when he reassured her that he wasn’t offended.  She sat back in the cafeteria chair and let out a sigh of relief.  “Oh good,” she laughed nervously.  “You have no idea how nerve wracking it is to ask someone you don’t know to look in on someone they don’t know.”

 

Luka smiled sympathetically.  She was as sweet and quiet as she looked when he observed her praying in her fiancé’s room.  He tilted his head and shrugged.  “This shouldn’t be a problem,” he said, reassuringly. 

 

“Besides,” he whispered, “it will get me out of work.”

 

Jennifer’s eyes twinkled as she laughed at his attempt at a joke.  “Great.”

 

~~~

 

“Jing Mei?”

 

She turned around to see Henry waving her over to the admit desk, while scribbling something down quickly on a chart.  “Yeah?” she replied, striding over to meet him.  Jing Mei was overtired and had estimated seeing at least 50 patients in the past hour.

 

Once he finished scribbling in the horrible, almost indecipherable scratching, only doctors seemed to make, did he look up and smile at her.  “I just wanted to catch you before I leave for the Coast this weekend.”

 

“Oooh, the Coast!”

 

Henry raised his eyebrows, his eyes shining brightly.  “You could still come if you wanted,” he offered.

 

Jing Mei shook her head.  “Too loaded down here.  I’ve got to make up for the time I took off when Stephen got hurt.”  Hugging the patient chart she had on hand close to her chest, she leaned against the admit desk. 

 

“Why don’t you take Grace from Neuro?” Jing Mei suggested, with a twinkle in her eye.  “She’s been hanging out with you in the staff lounge a lot.”

 

Henry blushed.  “We’re just friends,” he protested, uneasily.

 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before,” she teased.  They headed towards the elevator.  “No really, I think she digs you, Henry.”

 

The young looking Asian doctor became unusually silent.  “I don’t know about that.”

 

Jing Mei rolled her eyes.  She had seen it before, back at County.  Jing Mei knew exactly what a person with an infatuation with another person looked like.  To her dismay, she had watched John go through it with Abby.  “Trust me,” she sighed.  “If you ask her out, she’ll definitely say yes.”

 

Henry shrugged, reluctant to put any faith into her words.  “We’ll see,” he smirked, getting onto the elevator.

 

As the doors slid inwards, slowly engulfing Henry’s presence from her view, Jing Mei stared miserably at her chart.  “If only I could get a life,” she muttered to herself.  Peering up at the clock that hung in the center between the row of four elevators, Jing Mei bit her bottom lip.

 

She needed a night out and soon.  Having no social life - with the exception of hanging out with her brother and his fiancé, and waiting for John to realize that she, not Abby was the one for him – was wearing at her.  Jing Mei felt like she was waiting for her life to begin.

 

In the beginning, before she realized how much she cared about John, and how much she missed him when she returned to County, Jing Mei was focused and had a purpose; now she was listless and her work had become her life.  At least before, she was going out on dates, though she always knew from looking at the guy, it would never work out.  She was sabotaging all of her relationships in the hopes of one change at happiness with the one man she knew she loved.

 

As she made her way down the busy corridor, Jing Mei shook her head at herself.  “No wonder I could see Grace was an infatuated girl, a mile away,” she mumbled to herself.  Jing Mei ducked into the bathroom to splash cold water on her face.

 

Looking at herself in the mirror, she turned away from her reflection in disgust.  Jing Mei closed her eyes, and hung her head dejectedly.  “It’s because I am one.”