Softly Awaken
Chapter Fifteen
*****
Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,
Or like vinegar poured on soda,
Is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.
Prov. 25:20
*****
John lay in bed staring up at
the stucco ceiling. The thin pale blue
sheet draped over his body, like in a Renaissance painting. Not that he thought he’d actually be worth
painting. He turned his to the left and
watched Abby sleeping. Her long brown
hair covered her face, as her arms were entangled around the soft white pillow.
John curled on his side and
watched Abby for a few minutes. They
had almost had a fight that evening over Deb.
His brow furrowed as his finger lightly brushed the hair out of her face
and gently placing it over her shoulder.
She drowsily batted at his hand, which had already moved out of the way
and he watched her go back to sleep.
He couldn’t figure out why
she had such a problem with Deb. She
hadn’t done anything to Abby, and it had been a month or so since her
involvement in the intervention that Luka had staged. John thought they’d worked things out. Abby didn’t seem to have any problems with Susan or Luka, so why
Deb?
‘She could be jealous of Deb,’ a voice sang in his head.
The thought made John sigh
softly and run his hand through his sandy hair. Why would she be jealous of Deb?
John didn’t understand why the mentioning of Deb’s name always seemed to
make Abby tense and distant. Was he
flirting with Deb? John shook his head
at the thought. No, he’d never flirted
with Deb in his life.
Suddenly Abby began to mumble
and shift restlessly beside him. John
waited as she settled back into a deep sleep before slowly sliding out of the
warm comfort of his bed. He picked his
bathrobe off the floor and wrapped it around his body. As he shuffled into the living room, John
couldn’t help but think about the way he acted around Deb. He analyzed it, trying to see it from
various points of view, and every time, John came back to the same conclusion: he and Deb were just good friends.
‘Are you sure?’ the voice asked quietly.
“Of what?” John mumbled to
himself. He shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was having a
conversation with himself. “Get a grip
John.”
As he walked into the kitchen
John grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and poured himself a glass of water
out of the Brita water pitcher. John
leaned against the ledge of the sink and thought back to earlier that
evening. He had missed talking with Deb
and the close connection they had dealing with each other’s problems or with
work. She hadn’t said anything really
specific, but John knew that Deb wasn’t enjoying Mercy as much as she let
on. They had almost found a rhythm when
working together, since their med school days.
Suddenly John was startled by
the sharp, ringing of the phone. John
put down his glass and walked over to the coffee table in the living room and
snatched the cordless receiver, pressing the ‘talk’ button, once more allowing
silence to reign. “Hello?” he
whispered, peering over his shoulder to see if it had awoken Abby.
“John?” Deb’s voice huffed
over the phone.
“Deb?” he said
curiously. John frowned. “What’s the matter?” It had been a while since Deb had just
phoned him up out of the blue. It
seemed odd. John collapsed onto the
couch behind him and leaned his head back against the cushions. Deb didn’t respond; there was just the soft
cadence of breathing over the receiver.
“C’mon Deb, what’s going on?” he asked, hoping to coax out some
conversation out of an obviously upset Deb.
“He’s out of the coma John,”
she said quickly.
John wasn’t expecting that,
and his brow furrowed. “That’s…great!”
he replied, stunned. “I can’t believe
it! That’s great news!” The realization that Stephen had awakened
from the long month of uncertainty put a smile on John’s face. He could imagine how relieved Deb and the
rest of her family were. It took a
moment for the excitement to bubble to the surface, but John was elated that
Deb had one less thing to worry about.
“I know,” Deb sighed. “I’m sorry if I woke you up. I know we both had a long day after that
conference.”
John shook his head and
replied, “No way! I’m glad you phoned
me. I was actually thinking of you when
you phoned.”
“Really?” Deb drawled
mischievously, “And were they naughty thoughts?”
John blushed and was glad
that Deb couldn’t see him over the phone.
“No,” he laughed. “So how is
he? How are his motor functions?”
“Well from what the doctors
tell us, there has been no brain damage and he doesn’t seem to have any
permanent damage to his spinal column,” Deb explained thoughtfully. “I think he might make a full recovery yet.”
The joy in Deb’s voice wasn’t
hidden any longer. John could tell that
she would be jumping up and down once she got off the phone. “So I bet Jen and your parents are ecstatic?”
he asked.
“Yeah,” she laughed. “I’ve never seen my parents this excited
before. Except maybe that time when we
almost set the house on fire. And that
wasn’t a ‘good’ excited, if you know what I mean.” There was a short pause and then Deb spoke again. “John, I really appreciate you being here
for me, though all of this. You’re a
good friend.”
John smiled. “Well, you know…” Unexpectedly a tap on the shoulder interrupted John. “Who is it John?” Abby asked groggily. John turned around and saw Abby standing
with her shoulders slouched and hair disheveled. He put up his finger, signaling for her to wait a second. “Deb, can you hang on a second?”
John heard Deb agree, before
he turned and smiled excitedly at Abby.
“It’s Deb,” he said, pointing to the phone.
“I heard,” Abby said somewhat
irritably. “And why is she
phoning at 12 in the morning?”
John frowned. “She just wanted to let me know that Stephen
just woke up from his coma,” John replied incredulously. “Can you believe it? Looking at his case, I thought for sure
there’d be complications.” John
searched Abby’s face for some sign of excitement or elation for Deb and her
brother, but all he saw was Abby trying to muster some form of feigned
happiness.
“Good,” she smiled half-heartedly. Abby walked around the couch, she was
wearing one of John’s shirts and leaned on the armrest. “And he’s fine?” she asked.
John nodded. He was about to tell Abby more when he heard
a muffled voice over the phone. “Just a
second,” he said, pressing the phone back to his ear. “What?” John asked.
“I just wanted to say that I
have to go,” said Deb. “The doctors are
coming out and said we could go visit him for a while.”
John sighed. “All right.
But phone me tomorrow and let me know how Stephen is coming along. And wish him all the best from me.”
As he pressed ‘end’ to turn
off the phone, John found Abby staring blankly at him. “Is something wrong?” John asked. “Aren’t you glad that Deb’s brother is all
right?”
Abby tilted her head and continued
to stare at him. Finally she nodded her
head and plastered a smile on her face.
“Yeah, John. I’m excited!” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “I’m so glad she decided to call you up in
the middle of the night to tell you that.”
John shook his head. “I don’t get why you’re getting so upset
about this? I thought about this
possibility, but I didn’t want to believe it,” he said incredulously. “But are you jealous of Deb?”
Abby looked at him dubiously
and laughed. “Are you kidding me? Why would I be jealous?” She got up and walked into the kitchen and
opened up the refrigerator door. “You
and I are a couple and she isn’t even your type!” Abby
scoffed, while pulling out a bottle of orange juice. “Why would I be jealous?”
John set down the phone
beside him and watched Abby as she busied herself with a glass of orange juice
and walked around restlessly. “I don’t
know, you tell me?”
Abby stopped her pacing and
looked at John. “If you really want to
know Carter, I’m just getting tired of hearing about how much time you’ve been
spending with Deb and how Deb just happened to be at the medical
conference…” Her voice trailed off.
John raised his brows in
shock. He had no idea how his talking
about Deb was gnawing at her. “But
she’s just a friend,” he frowned.
“It’s not like I have feelings for her in that way.” When he said that, he felt a strange lump in
her throat. He felt guilty for saying
that, for some unbeknownst reason. The
way he felt for Abby was different than the way he felt for Deb.
‘But how?’ a voice
challenged inside his head.
Abby just stood behind the
kitchen counter with one hand resting on her hip and the other rubbing her
temple. “Fine, you’re just
friends,” she replied curtly. “I’m
sorry I brought it up. I’m just imagining
things.” She turned around and set her
empty glass of juice in the kitchen sink and then walked towards the bedroom.
John stood up and walked over
to her and stopped her. “Look Abby, I
really mean it when I say we’re just friends. She’s someone I like to talk to.
We’ve been friends forever,” he explained soothingly. John wrapped his arms around her waist,
drawing her closer. “It’s like you and
Luka. You guys are friends and just
that.”
“Except we slept
together,” Abby said tersely, looking up at John accusingly. “Are you planning on sleeping with
Deb?”
John shook his head and he
could feel the blood rushing to his face.
“No! That’s not what I’m
saying!” he cried jerking his head off of Abby’s shoulder. “It’s like you and Luka now! I mean you guys are friends and colleagues
right? Guys and girls can have
platonic relationships!”
Abby sighed and pulled out of
John’s embrace. “Obviously you haven’t
noticed John, but Luka and I are definitely not in the ‘just friends’
category,” she said pointedly. “And
maybe you just don’t care, or you’re too blind to notice.” Abby let out a frustrated sigh. “But I can’t blame you for not seeing it,
since you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with her, your friend,
rather than me, your girlfriend.”
John frowned at the
accusation. “I know it’s been a tough
couple of weeks,” he admitted woefully.
“But Stephen’s getting better and I’ll be around a lot more.” He
promised himself he would. “I mean Deb just had a rough month and as a friend…” John put his emphasis on the word
‘friend’. “It’s not like I could just
abandon her, could I?”
“No. You’re right,” Abby nodded excitedly. She unexpectedly laughed and shook her
head. “So you’d rather abandon your
girlfriend?” she said incredulously.
“No wonder you’ve been through so many girlfriends!”
John was taken aback at her
spiteful comment. “That was a low
blow,” he frowned. “What has gotten
into you?”
Abby closed her eyes and
pushed John away. “I have an early
shift tomorrow and I need some sleep. Can we just not do this right now,” Abby sighed, looking up at him
irritably.
John was speechless. This was a side of Abby he’d never seen
before. Something was eating at Abby,
and he didn’t know if Deb was just a small part of her troubles or whether she
was just an excuse. It was like he
didn’t even know her. But right then,
John didn’t have the energy to figure it out.
He shrugged and raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. Whatever,” he
answered in disbelief as he watched her head wearily the bedroom.
John wasn’t going to get
dragged into a game of cat and mouse with her.
He was tired of it. Abby always
seemed to shut herself off from people when she was dealing with her emotions;
she was almost in a state of denial.
John had been through it before as her friend. This time, as someone closer to her than an acquaintance, Abby
didn’t seem to realize that she could rely on him – even more than when he was
her friend. Sometimes he wondered how
she ever managed to be married. She had
to have trusted him a lot. John glanced
at the clock hanging over the stove in the kitchen. 12:46 a.m.
As he stretched his arms
above his head and opened his mouth reflexively while yawning, John rubbed his
eyes and pulled the plaid fleece blanket that hung on the back of the
couch. He wouldn’t fall asleep with
Abby beside him. Not after the way she
had been acting. John again, didn’t
realize how hard some relationships could be.
It always seemed to be women who gave him the troubles. Maybe it was him. But this time, Abby had some part in it. He wasn’t the only dysfunctional partner in the
relationship. They both had a lot of
issues within themselves to deal with let alone each other.
John stretched out on the
couch and lay the blanket over top of him.
As much as he wanted this relationship to work, just on the basic level
of communication and trust - a staple in any relationship- John knew there was
only so much pushing away and non-committal jargon he could handle. Abby had to learn to talk to him and ask for
help when she was down and out. At this
point in their relationship, it was a level in their relationship he had
thought they would easily rise to. But
now, John realized that Abby needed to learn that he was someone she could
trust and John couldn’t do that for her.
~~~
Luka was working on the
mounds of charts he’d accumulated from pulling a double shift that day. He didn’t mind it so much, as it gave him
time to be alone, and to think. Though,
in some people’s opinions, it might be the opposite of what he needed.
“Brooding again?” Susan asked
peering into the empty exam room.
Luka looked up from his
charts and smiled. “No,” he
replied. “Just finishing up my charts.”
“Well it certainly looks like
you’re brooding,” she joked. Susan
picked up a stray chart and began fidgeting with the metal bindings. “You seem really tired and quiet today.”
Luka sighed and set down Mrs.
Darkles chart. “Well we mid eastern
types can be that way sometimes,” he smirked, raising one of his dark heavy
eyebrows “What are you up to? Too quiet
in the ER so you’ve come to badger me some more?”
Susan stuck out her tongue,
which seemed juvenile to Luka, but made him chuckle. She always seemed to have it together. But Luka knew otherwise, during their conversations over coffee,
Susan gave him some insight on the troubles with her drug addicted sister and
losing her sister’s baby. “You know
that you’re going to have to interact with the rest of the world sometime,”
Susan chided. “You can’t stay a hermit
for the rest of your life, especially when you are a doctor at County.”
As Luka leaned on the
moveable cart and shrugged, Susan closed the gap between them. “You really need a woman, you know
that?” Susan said bluntly.
“A what?” Luka choked, trying
to stifle his amusement.
“You heard me, a woman.” Susan also raised her eyebrow in a
reproachful glare.
“And what? You’re that woman?” Luka winked, hoping that
he could charm his way out of the conversation, which was moving in a direction
he didn’t want to go.
“No, I just think there’s
someone out there for you, but you won’t even know it if you don’t let anyone
in.”
“I let people in,” he
protested.
Susan rolled her eyes and put
her hands on her hips. “Uh, having one
night stands with the nurses or other women you meet in bars is not letting
people in Luka,” she chided.
“That’s not what I’ve been
doing. Besides, I can’t help it if
women like to throw themselves at my feet!”
Luka watched his friend sigh in exasperation. He smiled inwardly, knowing he was wearing Susan down. Soon she would throw her hands up in the air
and scream, ‘Uncle’. “Hey, I’m not a cad,”
he protested, pointing at her with the end of the pen that was in his hand.
“I know,” Susan said
defensively, trying to settle him down.
“And say I believe your story about the fact that you’re not just
fooling around with all the women ‘throwing themselves at you’… why aren’t
you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why aren’t you sleeping with
some of these uh, in my opinion,” she shrugged casually, “beautiful ladies?
Nurses or other wise? You’re a
red-blooded man. You have needs!” Susan folded her arms across her chest and
furrowed her brow, waiting for an answer.
“Heck, I have needs and wouldn’t hesitate to sleep with a couple
of hot guys throwing themselves at me!
If there were any…” Susan pouted
and a look of disappointment crossed her face.
Luka laughed and leaned back
in the swivel chair. “I’m sure there
are a lot of doctors that probably wouldn’t have a problem with that
proposition,” Luka teased.
“Well you haven’t met some of
the doctors here!” Susan rolled her
eyes and stuck out her tongue, showing her impression of some of the doctors at
County. Then rolling up the corner of
her sleeve, she briefly glanced at her watch.
“I’ve got a couple of minutes, but let me just point something out,”
Susan said wagging her finger at Luka.
He nodded. “Go ahead, it’s not like I could stop you,”
Luka laughed, gesturing her to continue.
“If you’re really not lonely
and trying to research what it is to become a shut in, tell me the last time
you seriously asked a girl out with the intention of actually staying with
her?”
Luka lowered his eyes and
swallowed uncomfortably. He didn’t
really want to talk about Abby, and answering the question would open the door for
his nosy friend. It seemed like most of
his conversations ended up with Susan talking about how he felt about
Abby. It made him curious. Throwing his pen on the table, he furrowed
his brow and looked at Susan. “Are you
still interested in Carter?”
Susan’s eyes opened, like a
deer caught in headlights. “What?” she
yelled, but covered her mouth when she realized that she had. “What?” she asked once more, but a bit
softer. Susan still had a stunned
expression on her face.
Luka didn’t quite know why
Susan was so fixated on his relationship with Abby. He had gone through all the possible explanations in his mind and
the only one was that she wanted him back and to get Carter back, Susan would
need Abby out of the way. Luka would be
the first to admit that it really didn’t make any sense since Susan had broken
up with Carter. But then again it did
because she only broke up with him because of Abby. He sighed and looked up at Susan. “Uh, nothing,” he said regretting opening his big fat mouth.
“You’re kidding right?” Susan
exclaimed, leaning forward and resting her hands on her lap and burst out
laughing.
Luka stared enigmatically at
Susan. Obviously he was wrong. He swallowed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I was completely out of line saying
that!” Luka apologized, running his fingers through his hair.
Susan wiped the tears of
laughter from her eyes and gasped for breath.
“You…you thought I was trying to get Carter?” she choked out through the
fits of laughter and gasps of breath.
“Oh God, that’s funny!” Susan
bent forward, holding her stomach.
Finally she stood up, the laughter had stopped, with the exception of a
few giggles and Susan rested her right hand on her chest. “Boy,” Susan exclaimed, taking a deep
breath. “I never expected that.”
Luka felt foolish and
misguided. How wrong could he have
been? But it seemed like a logical
assumption, especially the way the women around the ER crooned over Dr. John
Carter, cutest ER doc at County. Luka
frowned in disgust. He didn’t
understand why woman swooned over him.
Not that he had anything against the guy. As he looked up, he found Susan gazing intently at him. “What?” Luka frowned suspiciously at
her. “Is there something on me?”
Susan shook her head
‘no’. “You changed the subject.”
“What?”
“You changed the subject,”
Susan repeated.
“I didn’t,” Luka denied,
waving his hand at her dismissively.
“The question was asked and
never answered,” she sang disapprovingly.
“And that was?”
“When the last time you had
any semblance of a serious relationship when you didn’t just simply run away?”
“Abby,” he stated.
Susan scoffed when he said
her name. As he sat there, Luka
furrowed his brow and lifted his hands in the air. “What? Abby and I were dating
for a long time!” he exclaimed.
“But again, like we talked
about before…you don’t let them in Luka!”
Luka shook his head and waved
his hands at Susan, motioning her to leave.
She didn’t know what she was talking about. He and Abby had been serious, as serious as one gets with Abby
before she begins inventing problems with the person. Luka inwardly chided himself.
He couldn’t blame it all on Abby.
Luka did have his own set of problems that he hadn’t dealt with. But that didn’t matter anymore. She found someone who could listen to her
attentively and anticipate her every need.
Heck, he didn’t even know when someone was an alcoholic, or what one was
until recently. Luka didn’t feel like
talking about this anymore.
“I have a lot of charts to do,” he mumbled, burying his head back
into the pile of charts.
“You know I’m telling you
this as a friend Luka,” Susan coaxed, closing the chart Luka had begun to work
on again.
He looked up and
snorted. “With friends like you,
who needs enemies?” he scoffed.
Susan winked. She didn’t seem to pick up on his irritable
mood. “But you know you love me,
right?” she smirked.
Luka lowered his head in
defeat and growled. “You know you could
wear a man down?” he grunted.
“Yup. In more ways than one,” Susan grinned
mischievously. “Let’s go get some
coffee. I’m about due for a break!”
Luka stood up slowly and
piled his charts in one neat stack.
“But you were in here on a break?” he pointed out dubiously.
Susan shrugged and slapped
him on the back. “It’s dead in the
ER! Pratt, Weaver, and Weaver can
handle it.”
“Fine!” he groaned as Susan
pulled him from his seat, which he’d so diligently warmed for the past hour or
so. “But you’re paying!”
Susan closed her eyes and
stuck her short stubby tongue out at Luka.
He laughed. “You know if you keep
doing that, you’re libel for it to get stuck that way!” Luka warned as he
followed her out of the exam room.
~~~
It was her turn to sit with
Stephen. Jing Mei had switched her
shifts that morning when she had found out that Stephen had awaken. It took a lot of pleading and some unseemly
promises, but sitting there beside him, holding his warm hand, made it all
worth it for Jing Mei. He had woken up
for just a few minutes and smiled at her before falling back to sleep.
She had sent Jen to go for a
cup of coffee. It was amazing to watch
her brother’s girlfriend stay by his side, and how strong she had been through
it all. Jing Mei didn’t know how she
did it. She had been a total
wreck. As strong and in control as she
would have liked everyone to believe she was, Jing Mei broke down when Stephen
was left in the coma. If John hadn’t
been there, she didn’t know how she could have made it through.
“Hey?” Jen’s soft voice
called to her. Jing Mei peered up and
found her standing in the doorway of Stephen’s room. “Do you want some coffee?”
Her smile always brought some sort of peace to Jing Mei’s heart, she
couldn’t explain it; Jen just drew people to her with her gentle spirit.
“Yeah,” Jing Mei answered,
reaching out for the steaming Styrofoam cup in Jen’s outstretched hand. Jen sat down on the chair next to hers.
“Thanks.” She closed her eyes and took
a deep long gulp of the hot liquid caffeine.
When she had indulged in a moment of weakness, Jing Mei looked up at Jen
who was once again, holding Stephen’s hand.
“You know I did tell you to go wander the hallways, just so you can
stretch your legs,” Jing Mei chided.
Jen’s blue eyes twinkled as
she smiled at Jing Mei and shook her head.
Her long wavy now blondish brown hair was pulled tightly into a
ponytail, though there were stray tendrils framing her pale face. “I don’t mind. I hate to be away from him for long periods of time,” she
explained quietly. She turned and
glanced lovingly at Stephen, who lay sleeping peacefully in the squeaky bed. Then unexpectedly she frowned for a moment
looked up at Jing Mei. “You know what I
realized?” Jennifer leaned her arm on
the foot of the bed and smiled. “That
this is the most time I’ve gotten to spend with him in a month,” she giggled.
Jing Mei smiled and wrapped
both her hands around the Styrofoam cup, as if it were her large favorite mug
and leaned back in her chair. “I’m sure
it’s hard not getting to see Stephen all the time. Doctors work crazy hours,” she sighed. “I should know.” Jennifer
laughed. Her laugh was like someone
singing a soft melody. It was soft and
gentle, as Jing Mei was finding Jennifer was.
“What can I do? I have to put up with it,” Jen
shrugged. She turned and gazed tenderly
towards Stephen again, turning the strong hand in hers over and stroking the
inside of his palm delicately. Jennifer
seemed deep in thought, but then turned and looked over at Jing Mei with an
illuminating smile. “I love him.”
Jing Mei lowered her eyes and
stared understandingly into her coffee cup.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I know.”
Suddenly Stephen uttered a
low deep groan. “You girls talking
about me again?” Stephen joked groggily. “You know you should let patients who have been in a coma, rest,
Jing Mei.”
Jing Mei leaned forward and
rubbed his forearm. “Well you’re an exception,”
she said defiantly. “You’ve slept way
too much already. I bet all of this was
just to get out of settling me in at Mercy too!” Jing Mei raised her eyebrow skeptically, and
then a huge grin took the place of her serious expression.
Stephen lifted both his arms
and placed his hands against his chest.
“Who me?” he laughed tiredly.
“I definitely think you overestimate what I’ll do just to get out of
hanging out with you!” He closed his
eyes and licked his dry cracked lips.
His brow creased as he apparently was trying to think of something. Finally he opened them again and
smiled. “Are you guys going to hover
over me like that all day?”
“That would be the last thing
I would be complaining about right now,” John said laughing. “Why don’t you and I trade places and you do
my rounds and I’ll lie there with Deb and Jen swooning over me!”
Jing Mei looked up and was
startled to see John standing in the doorway.
“John,” she gasped softly. “I
didn’t know you were working the day shift today.”
John nodded, tugging on the
stethoscope that hung loosely around his neck.
“Uh, I got called in early,” he sighed, slowly stepping into the room,
leaning against the nearest wall. “So
Stephen, good to see you up.”
Jing Mei glanced at her
brother who lifted his arm slightly and saluted, acknowledging John’s well
wishes. “Well I’ll be out of here
before you know it!” Stephen exclaimed.
“Can’t let little sis take over at Mercy you know?”
Jing Mei rolled her eyes as
Stephen pulled her down into a small bear hug.
As she wrapped her arms around her brother’s neck, Jing Mei couldn’t
express how much it meant to her to be able to do that. “And I love you too,” she mumbled dryly as
she pulled out of the embrace. Jing Mei
lowered her head so that her short black hair would cover face long enough to
wipe away the tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes.
“Well, I gotta get back
downstairs,” John chirped, pushing himself against the wall and onto his
feet. “I just wanted to drop in and say
hello.” He waved with his right hand as
both of them were still wrapped around the stethoscope.
“Thank you for dropping by,”
Jennifer smiled as she pulled Stephen’s hand to her chest.
“Wait John!” Jing Mei
called as she stepped around the chair she had just been sitting on for the
past three hours. She jogged over to
the doorway and walked John out of the room.
She glanced back and put up one finger, signaling to her brother, Jing
Mei would only be a second.
“Yeah?” John said, cocking his
head to the side.
“I just wanted to apologize
for calling so late last night,” she sighed.
When she heard Abby’s groggy voice vaguely on the phone, Jing Mei had
wanted to die. Her face had flushed,
and she felt like a complete idiot.
Jing Mei had chided herself for not remembering that Abby would most
logically be there, as it was her apartment.
“I woke you guys up and it was inconsiderate of me.”
John frowned and shook his
head. “Like I said, it wasn’t a
problem. I was awake anyway.”
Jing Mei bit her lip and
looked up with uncertain whether he was telling her the truth or just trying to
make her feel bad. “But…”
John interrupted her. “No!” John exclaimed as his familiar
reassuring crooked grin appeared on his face.
“I’m serious. Don’t worry about
it.”
Jing Mei wasn’t too sure
about that. As she squirmed under her
baby blue sweater, Jing Mei grimaced.
“Abby didn’t sound to happy about it,” she blurted out. Her shoulders fell and it was as if a weight
had been dropped off her shoulders. “And I’m sure she worked last night too, so she must have been
tired.” The more she thought about it
and said it out loud, the worse it sounded.
She had been such a flake to phone John, even with such good news.
Suddenly John’s hands rested
on her shoulders, making her stop squirming.
She looked up at John and sighed.
“I’m such a dork!” she laughed.
His eyes twinkled as he
smiled at her and rolled his eyes. “No
argument there,” he smirked. “But if
you tell me how sorry you are one more time, I’m going to have to revoke your
telephone privileges!” John let his
arms slide down her arms, which almost sent a shiver down her spine. Uncomfortably, Jing Mei took a step back. He was taken. “Well then I guess I shouldn’t say that,
then,” Jing Mei laughed.
Suddenly a quiet but piercing
‘beep’ sounded from underneath his coat.
Jing Mei waited patiently as John slid his lab coat to one side and
pressed a lone button, which halted the irritating sound. “Gotta get back?” she sighed, folding her
arms across her chest.
John nodded silently. “Yeah.
Got a trauma downstairs coming in.”
Jing Mei shook her head
slightly and turned John around and pushed started his way back to the ER. “I’ll see you around,” she smiled, turning
around to head back to Stephen’s room.
~ * ~
“Still haven’t told him you
like him huh?” Stephen teased as Jing Mei just set foot in the room.
Jing Mei rolled her
eyes. She knew he was getting back to
his old self, if he ever lost it at all, from the accident. Jing Mei had her hands on her hips and stuck
out her tongue and blew a ‘raspberry’ in the middle of the air. It was a three year old’s reaction, but it
made her feel good.
As she walked over to the
other side of the room and stared out the bay window, ignoring her brother’s ‘probing’
question, Jing Mei could feel the blood rush to her face. Stephen knew way too much about her love
life, if she could even call it that.
Liking John wasn’t what she would call realistic.
“You like Dr. Carter?” Jen
asked innocently.
Jing Mei turned around and
shrugged. “We’re just friends,” she
replied curtly, glaring at her brother.
As much as she loved Jen, Jing Mei wasn’t too happy that Stephen
happened to tease her about John in front of Jennifer. Jing Mei had spent a little more time over
the past couple of weeks getting to know his brother’s girlfriend, but other
than that, she didn’t spend much time with them.
“Awwww, come on. You’re more than ‘just friends’,” Stephen
said mockingly, making quotation marks with his fingers. “You really like the guy. I mean I know! You’ve liked him forever!”
“Ste-phen,”
Jing Mei warned through gritted teeth.
She glared at her brother, as again the blood came rushing to her
cheeks. Jing Mei glanced over at Jen. “It’s the accident. He has no idea what he’s talking
about!”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if
you did happen to like Dr. Carter.
He does seem very nice, and you seem to know him well?” Jen admitted
cautiously.
Jing Mei slumped down against
the ledge of the windowsill and hung her head.
“Not you too!” she sighed exasperatedly.
Now she had to add another
person to her list that knew about her ‘crush’ on John and thought her feelings
should be expressed. Jing Mei hid her
face in her hands and groaned. This was
not happening to her!
~~~
As Abby walked down the
hallway past the admin desk when she heard, “And she was really put out by Carter
I heard…” Abby looked to her right and saw Haleh clamp her lips together
quickly when she realized that Abby had overhead her talking. She frowned. She wondered what they could be ruminating about now.
Rumors and gossip run rampant at
County General and it was almost getting to the point of exhaustion, listening
to mostly half-truths or fiction. Abby
had been tired all day. She hardly
slept last night after the big argument last night, which she wasn’t even sure
happened. It seemed like a dream. But it wasn’t.
John never came back to bed,
and when she woke up that morning, she found a rumpled blanket sprawled at one
end of the couch. Apparently John had
slept there last night and left early that morning for his shift. In part, Abby had been relieved he left just
so she wouldn’t have to start that discussion again. They had to work together though that morning and afternoon. He had been quite
Abby didn’t quite know what
was the problem. All she knew was that
she felt angry last night and irritable and John didn’t seem to get how it made
her feel when she woke up to find him talking to Deb in the middle of the
night. Was that supposed to happen when
you were a couple? Even when she was
‘dating’ Luka, which she liked to use the term loosely, since Abby wasn’t even
sure if it she could even call it that, she never found Luka talking to a girl
on the phone in the middle of the night.
Playing a video game, maybe?
As Abby plopped herself down
on a stool behind the admin desk, she could hear Jerry softly humming to
himself while reading Chaucer. She
rolled her eyes. It was a mixed bunch
at County.
Abby turned to the inventory
charts that sat in front of her. She
hated doing inventory, but if she didn’t do it, County wouldn’t have any medical
supplies. Abby let out a heavy sigh and
brushed the stray tendrils of hair out of her eyes, that wouldn’t be tamed by
the elastic confining the rest of her locks.
“Okay, so I need 10 cases of gloves…all sizes,” she mumbled to herself,
while chewing on her pen.
“Abby?” Kerri called as she
limped in an awkward cadence because of her cane.
“Yeah?” Abby looked up at the
redheaded doctor before her.
“Could you run over to Doc
Magoo’s and get Kovac for me?”
Abby frowned curiously. “And why don’t you just…page him?”
Abby asked facetiously. She knew that
her tone was unwarranted, and there was probably a good reason Kerri was
requesting her services, but Abby couldn’t help herself. Sometimes the petite County ‘general’ was
just too bossy for her own good.
Kerri’s expression, which was
already sour, turned dark. “If I could,
don’t you think I would have?” she said irritably. “He’s probably accidentally turned off his
pager and now I can’t reach him.”
The doctor shifted her weight from the can to her good leg,
straightening her posture.
Abby rolled her eyes and set
down her pen. As she slid off the nice
comfortable stool, which gave relief to her aching feet, Abby exited the admin
area and went to the staff lounge, which held their lockers. “I don’t know why she can’t just go find him
herself!” Abby mumbled to herself.
“Are you mumbling about
Weaver?” Susan asked.
As she turned around,
startled at Susan’s question, Abby put her hand to her chest and laughed. “Susan!” she gasped. “I didn’t see you in here.”
“I was just around the
corner,” the blonde doctor smiled while waving a mug of coffee in her
hand. “Had to get my shot of caffeine
for the day.”
Abby nodded, while she
slipped on her black wool coat and button up.
“Are you hiding from her too?”
“What?” Susan asked while
laughing. “What are you talking
about? Now who would do that?” Her hazel eyes twinkled at the joke.
Abby shrugged lightly and
rolled her eyes. “Apparently Luka has
jumped ship,” she sighed.
“What do you mean?”
“Weaver tried to page him but
he wasn’t answering. So I guess I’m the
errand girl and get to run off and fetch him,” Abby explained. “Cause apparently I don’t have a million
other things to do.” Abby tried to keep
the bitterness to a minimum, but she was tired of Kerri assigning extra
responsibilities to her, all the while barking at her.
Susan gave her a sympathetic
smile. “I’m sure it’ll get better,” she
encouraged. “Don’t let her get to you.
Look at what it to Chen. At
least from what I hear.”
Abby closed her eyes and bit
her lip. Jing Mei again. How many times would she hear that name?
“Did I say something wrong?”
Susan asked.
Abby shook her head. “No,” she denied. “I better go find Luka before Kerri bites my head off…again.”
As she let the staff door
close behind her, Abby was relieved to get out of the small stuffy room. When Abby saw the sun’s rays stream through
the glass entrance, she became grateful for the opportunity to get out of the
ER. She glanced back quickly at the
admin desk where there were a couple of nurses and Jerry standing behind the
counter and whispering. They were looking
straight at her. Abby rolled her eyes. Oh, brother. What next?
~ * ~
Abby had spotted Luka in through
the large glass windows as she walked toward the favorite hang out of working County
staffers. As she pushed against the heavy
wooden door leading into the diner, Abby knew just where he was sitting. The dark brooding doctor was sitting in a
booth near the window. For some reason
he was staring listlessly into a large glass of ice. “Hey,” Abby mumbled as she unbuttoned her black coat. Kerri could wait a few more minutes. “What’s up?”
Luka stared up at her briefly
before returning to his task of stirring the glass of ice with his straw. “Abby,” he said in a monotone voice. His short and brief acknowledgement was heart
warming, to say the least.
“Kerri’s looking for you,” Abby
announced, while she dismissed the waitress that was heading towards their booth
with the wave of her hand. “Apparently
your pager’s off.”
“Oh, yeah,” Luka frowned, reaching
down into his pocket and pulling out a small sleek black pager. “I totally forgot to turn it back on.”
Abby leaned against the table,
her shoulders hunched over. “Is there something
wrong Luka?”
He stopped staring at his pager
for a moment and the pair of large dark brown eyes looked intently upon her. No words passed his lips, and after a few minutes,
Abby began to shift uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze. “Luka,” she whispered. “Are you okay?”
Luka blinked a couple of times
before shaking his head as if lifting a fog. He frowned. “No,” he replied
casually. “I was just thinking.”
Now it was her turn to frown.
“About what?” she asked curiously.
“About life.” Luka swallowed distractedly and then sighed, grabbing
the coat that lay beside him in the booth. He looked up at her and smiled. “We’d better get going.”
Suddenly the waitress waved
at Luka and smiled. “I’m playin’ that
song you wanted…”
Abby frowned, and wasn’t
quite sure why Luka would be playing a song on the jukebox. “Luka, what song did you pick?” she smiled
and raised her eyebrows. The hard ‘clunk’
of the change hitting the container within the jukebox sounded. The song had a mix of a strong bass and an up
beat melody. Both Abby and Luka looked
up and over at the jukebox playing this song.
They missed the first few lyrics catching only half way through the
first verse.
…I'll be
your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on
A reason for living
A deeper meaning
Luka looked over at Abby and tilted his head toward the
door. “We should…go?” he
reminded her, except the cadence of the sentence was more like in the form of a
question.
Abby nodded, except without moving from her spot in the booth. “Why do I remember hearing this song? It sounds kind of familiar?” she asked. Abby wasn’t quite sure if she was directing the question at Luka or just to herself. She shushed herself as some chorus went flying by and the tenor voice began the second verse of the strangely familiar song. Abby still couldn’t place it.
…And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet
sky,
I'll make a wish to send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
The highest powers
The tears devour you
Suddenly the light went on and Abby remembered. “You played this for me after we had gotten
home after the night we walked down to the docks at 2 a.m., after that double
shift we both pulled!” Abby exclaimed,
suddenly remembering vividly where she’d heard the song. She shook her head. She had almost forgotten that night. A lot had happened since then.
They had both pulled a double shift and they were both
tired. Abby had been explaining earlier
in the night to Luka about having just one stable person in her life, would have
made her life just a little bit easier. She told him that the boyfriends and girlfriends in the movies
were jokes. “They aren’t with you
forever,” she had sighed. “They
end up leaving you like the rest of them.”
Apparently Luka wanted to prove her wrong and he had heard this song play
over the radio in his car and found someone in the ER that night who had it, and
borrowed their CD.
Abby had teared up at his explanation. “It’s not mine. I only asked for the CD because I know that sometimes I act like a
jerk sometimes and I ignore you. You
don’t think I notice when you walk away, but I do,” Luka explained. “I’m just not as good at words as you or even
Carter is. I don’t talk about things…”
“And?” Abby had been
confused at why he had chosen this song.
Luka didn’t answer the question right away. He seemed to search for the words, until he
finally held her face in his hands and kissed her. “And this song reminds me of
you.”
…You don't have to close your eyes
All that you need will surely come
Luka looked awkwardly at
Abby. He looked away and remained
unusually quiet. Abby frowned as she
slid out of her seat. “Why were you
listening to this song Luka?” she laughed.
He stared at her for a moment and then looked away
again. Abby stopped laughing when she
realized that it wasn’t something funny. Luka turned and signalled to Abby that he was going to start
heading back. She nodded and watched
him slowly walk out of Doc Maggo’s. As Abby
buttoned up her coat quietly, she listened to the rest of the song as it played
in the diner. She didn’t want to push
Luka to say anything. She’d done that
before and it never worked.
…I'll be your dream I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be you hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly deeply do
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
Abby caught up with him
just before he closed his locker. Abby shrugged
off her coat and stuffed it back into the locker. She was about to exit in front of him, but Luka grabbed her arm and
stopped her. “Yes?” Abby said expectantly.
“It was because it reminds me of you.”