Loving Destiny

 

Disclaimer:  These characters do not belong to me, but to the writers and producers of Roswell

Spoilers:  After Chant Down Babylon, changes happening where Max is successfully rescued, and Michael was the one who broke up with Maria.

Pairings:  You’ll have to wait and see!

Pronunciation Guide:   

Author’s notes:    Queen Fadilia Kedar: Max/Isabel’s mother

                                        King Alaric Kedar: Max/Isabel’s father

                                        Andaria: Tess’ mother

                                        Radim:  Tess’ father

                              Kedrans: race from which Royal Four descended

                                        Iturians: race from which Khivar descended, and overthrew and killed Zan and the Kedrans

                                        Cerideans:  special core ops of the Iturian army, mostly psyonics and telepaths

                                        Kaptar’s Jewel:  constellation in the Antarian’s star system

                                        Yun’s Garment:  Aurora Borealis - Northern Lights

                              Saren Dari:  desert plain on Antar

                                        Chasser :  animal similar to a cat

 

 

Chapter Fifty Seven

 

***

One who never turned his back but marched breast forward, never doubted clouds would break, Never dreamed, though right were worsted, wrong would triumph, Held we fall to rise, are baffled to fight better, sleep to wake. .

-  Robert Browning

***

 

"Isabel?"  Michael felt disoriented and nauseous, as he searched through the ominous abyss.  "Are you out here?" he called urgently.  His hands reached out, as a blind man, searching for his way.

 

"Here..." a voice beckoned.  "Come here."  Its voice was airy and welcoming.

 

Michael tightly squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the pounding within his ears, focusing solely on Isabel's face.  It was all he knew to do.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew if he let himself lose concentration, he would be lost out here.  "Isabel," he called out again.  "Where are you?"  He willed his legs to move forward, as if travelling through the thick dense space; every step was a battle, as if he were walking up a steep hill.

 

"Here!" a voice said excitedly.  "I've been searching for you forever!"

 

Michael turned his ear towards the direction of the voice.  "Who are you?"  His mind wandered slightly, feeling drawn to the inviting voice, as if being drawn in by some mystic force.

 

"It's been such a tiring search," it explained mournfully.  "I only now recognized your voice.  Where have you been?  We have been waiting!"

 

Michael felt a heaviness sit on his chest, as he stepped tentatively towards the person, who seemed to know him.  Now, he was no longer in control, as if some thing had attached an invisible binding around his waist, which he was being forced towards this sudden warm, amber glow that appeared unexpectedly.  He knew that this situation was dangerous and began to struggle against the overwhelming drag of the mind reaching out to him.

 

"I can't wait to see you face to face," the voice exclaimed.  Its voice grew louder, causing the pounding in Michael's ears to intensify.  He stumbled forward, losing all sense of balance.  "It's been so long since I've spoken to anyone!"  Michael squinted, caused by the sudden exposure to the now, pulsating light in front of him and also the wretching pain that throbbed between his ears.  He was overcome by a sense of helplessness, as waves of nausea flooded over him, which deterred him from voicing his pain and fear.  "Don't fight...it hurts less that way."

 

Michael stumbled over his feet and fell onto his knees.  He felt the force slacken and allow him a brief respite from its bending will.  His breath was shallow and raspy.  Michael's throat felt like it was ready to implode from the mind's strength.  A dry hacking cough emerged from his weary 'body', hampering his ability to draw sufficient oxygen into his lungs.  He rested his moist forehead against the dark, surreal floor underneath him.  "What do you want?" he shouted between coughs.  "You're killing me!"

 

The amber light pulsed, illuminating the unseen sphere with such a burst of intensity that Michael had to shield his eyes, fearing it would blind him.  When the radiating pulse had subsided, Michael peered out from under his arm and saw that the light had drawn nearer, and would soon be upon him.  "I can help you," it said soothingly.  "I can take away the pain..."

 

Michael closed his eyes and braced himself for the impending death he was certain approached by way of that faceless light.

 

'You must fight.'

 

Michael frowned.  He searched subtly, the empty abyss for the new voice that spoke to him, but all he was confronted by was the looming, foreboding light.

 

"Only a matter of time now," the amber lit voice soothed.  "Soon you won't wander these dark hollows anymore."

 

Michael felt the heaviness return to him, as if a presence was pushing down upon him, its hot breath bore down his bare neck.  He could not think, his mind clouded by an unexpected fear.  He was going to die.

 

'You can defend yourself, MIchael.'

 

Michael shook his head in protest.  He couldn't stop this being, whatever it was; he was out of his element.  How could he deal with something without a physical body?

 

'You must.  I have equipped you for fiercer enemies than this.'  The tone of the unseen voice was demanding and wielded some unexplainable authority.

 

Michael swallowed; his throat was dry and longed for the cool, clear life giving fluid that existed outside this dreamscape.  "I can't," he gasped.  "He's overtaking me."  He blinked several times as the amber light now hovered in front of him.

 

'Depend not on yourself and what you know is at your grasp,;' the gentle voice coaxed.  'But trust in Me.'

 

As the light expanded, radiating a sudden, scorching heat, Michael felt himself wilt under its exhibition of power.  "You have no choice but to come to me," the dark, triumphant voice declared.  "You are nothing compared to my indomitable will."

 

'Do you hear my voice, Michael?' the voice questioned solemnly, as if unconcerned with the imminent figure before him was of no concern to it.

 

"I hear you," he grimaced.  "But the fact that I'm about to die is foremost in my mind right now."  His teeth clenched in apprehension and pain.

 

'If you trust in Me..."

 

Michael felt himself being enveloped by the creature of light; its energy eating away at his flesh, his mind slowly deteriorating - his essence slowly being stripped away.  The amber light grew, as if with each piece of him that disappeared into the blinding radiance fed its insatiable appetite, until it filled every corner of the dark abyss with its presence.  Michael strained against the torturous dispirsion of his entire being, using every ounce of strength he had left to extract himself from the frightening menace; but it was too much and he could fight no more.  Taking what he thought to be his last breath, Michael surrendered to the unknown machination of death.

 

Undeniable peace filled his mind as he felt himself floating, hovering in a transiendental plane without state or being, within the silent death.  Michael no longer felt the pain or the torturous dissection of his mind; but he was made whole, in a deeper sense than he had ever known before.  The amber light was usurped by an indescribable, white light - more pure than he had ever witnessed before.

 

'I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them.  I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground.  These are the things I will do, and I will not forsake them.'

 

Michael heard the words uttered from the radiance before him and turned away, its light too bright to look upon.  He did not understand what it was, whether he was dead and this was what heaven or hell was like; it was like those stories about entering a white light, yet still, somehow different.  Before he could question the voice again - for he had regained his voice - the white light faded and he once again stood in the empty abyss of darkness.  He pulse was racing, as was his mind. 

 

What had that been?  

 

Michael furrowed his brow and turned around, in the opposite direction of the 'siren', who had nearly cost him his life, only to find himself standing in front of a dim, cloudy vision. 

 

The outer edge of the image was clouded, as the light rippled across its silky, movie-like screen.  He could see Isabel's face under what seemed to be water; her face pale against the wash of a pulsing lavender glow.  This had been his dream.  Michael stepped forward, reaching out with his hand, believing that there was a possibility of contacting her through this fog of a dream, and tried to step through the projection of wavering images that filled the black void.  The image muddled and became distorted, as if he had just touched his reflection in a clear lake, causing a large ripple effect, which impinged on the image of Isabel's limp body, making it dissipate into a collage of colours.

 

Michael swallowed hard as the image of Isabel floating in some strange glass casing caused an uncomfortable lump to develop in his throat, almost choking him.  Though she was hideously ensnared in a prison of glass and water, with black tubes inserted into her nose, mouth and underneath her skin, the one relief it brought him - if he was to believe this was the condition she was in - was that she was alive.  Whatever pain and suffering she was enduring at the hands of whatever faceless enemy, she was alive.  He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.  He needed to be with her; somehow he needed to reach her.

 

When he opened his eyes, once again the watery screen had converged into one fluid image, and he could see Isabel's unconscious form floating in the stasis unit.  Michael did not attempt to reach out to her through the billowy portal that had been miraculously given to him during his despairing search for answers - what he should do.  Still there were no complete answers.  As he watched Isabel, who was unable to reach out to him, to speak to him as she once did, his heart began to ache once more.  He had been able to set aside his earnest desire to remain with her on Earth, knowing that he would be serving a greater good by returning to Antar, only a few days ago; but now he felt it surge forth with overwhelming force to conquer his duty to the people of Antar.

 

How was he to save an entire planet when his heart was back on Earth?

 

~~~

 

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.  Fulfill your promise to your servant, so that you may be feared.  Take away the disgrace I dread, for your laws are good." 

 

Psalm 119:36-39.  Max took a deep breath as the army approached, with its overwhelming numbers, and looked out into the fading horizon.  The day had not yet ended; but the previously clear, blue sky clouded over with wisps of grey.  He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.  "Please God, give me the strength to complete the task you have chosen me to do," he said under his breath; his eyes never left the grey shadow that was inching its way down the rocky terrain.  "I don't know what to do..."

 

Max felt his heart pounding against his chest, so loud that he was certain even his enemy could hear it.  HIs fingers closed in on his sweaty palms; and his mind raced for some strategy against the blood thirsty horde.  He had lost all confidence and strength after ordering Liz below the surface.  The impending battle that approached on quickened feet seemed to finally weigh on him.

 

How was he going to defeat an army of hundreds?  They knew him, even more than he knew himself. 

 

Max inhaled the thickening air, which surrounded him; with the cool, dew of rain carried in on the breeze of the clouds.  A distance roll of thunder caught his ear, as the darkness enveloped the hot scorching sands.  His chest tightened, as he continued to watch the steadily advancing troops; his breath shortened and he felt a slow ache developing in his right side.  Max fell to his knees, bowing his head in submission to the pain; as a trickle of moist perspiration slid down his temple and wetting the copper floor, he could only focus on his breathing.

 

This is insane.  How could I ever have thought I could face a trained army of hundreds of soldiers? 

 

Max shook his head.  He felt small and insignificant.  Though he had powers only dreamt about in movies and storybooks, he couldn't fathom how he was going to stand against these men.  Max groaned.  As the word 'men' crossed his mind, he forced himself to glance down into the blurred shadows, focusing on one lone figure, marching in time to the rhythm of the assembly.  He couldn't make out facial details, but as he suspected, the figure, as well as the rest of the army, came calling for his blood, in human form.

 

Khivar's men had somehow found the resources to possess hundreds of male specimens to aid them in their search for him, Isabel, and Michael.  Max closed his eyes and ran his fingers through is damp hair.  What else could go wrong?  He shook his head in anger; it was one thing to come after him and his family, but to use unwitting humans to accomplish their mission was cruel and unthinkable.  As he began to pace back and forth on the peak of the plateau, Max's mind churned with a new focus and determination - he had to stop them, whatever the cost.  If he didn't win this battle here on Earth, then all was lost on Antar; but how was he going to deal with the mindless host bodies?

 

Once more, Max looked up towards the heavens, which had turned a foreboding, charcoal grey - dark clouds had draped the once serene skies in a thick veil, shutting out all signs of the previously untouched afternoon.  "Will you help me?  Or am I running a fool's gambit?" he muttered to himself, while gazing out into the sea of men.  Their leader had almost reached the base of the rock formation.  "Are you going to have me kill hundreds of men in one fell swoop?"

 

The idea made him shudder.  It could not happen; he couldn't do it.  Max closed his eyes to the ominous turn the battle had taken, even before either side had made a strategic move. 

 

Had the battle ended before it had even begun?

 

~~~

 

Jesse paced back and forth, as the confining, earthen enclosure was beginning to cause a claustrophobic reaction within him.  The minutes passed by at a snail's pace.  And when Liz had finally joined him within the hidden alien architecture, she brought nothing but unsettling news; as Max stood atop the precipitous bedrock of his defiant recalcitrance, confronting a foe of unpredictable magnitude.

 

"What can we do?" he said in exasperation.  "We can't just let him face them alone!"  He strode towards the narrow entrance and pointed to the growing darkness that had suddenly appeared, which compounded the strained apprehension in his heart.

 

Liz closed her eyes and tried to stay her irritation at Jesse's obvious statement, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.  "I know."  Her voice was strained with forced civility.  "But Max insisted."  Liz began to wring her fingers and pace back and forth, as Jesse had been doing when she entered the cool, geometrical abode.  "I don't know what we can do right now, but Max seems to know what he's doing right now," she reasoned to Jesse, as a million thoughts flooded her already cluttered mind.  She stuffed her hands in her backpocket, in an attempt to stop her fidgeting; but found her right pocket was a forgotten niche for a hard plastic object, which slipped around her fingertip.  Liz pulled out the unfamiliar item and placed it in the palm of her hand.

 

In it, she saw a lime green plastic ring with two small green aliens leaning against each other; with a hard plastic bubble dome, capturing the amusing sight.  Liz felt a lump grow in her dry throat.  Kyle had won this for her at the fair.  It had been the only thing he had won throughout the entire night.

 

"A token of our friendship," Kyle bowed, presenting her with a ring.  He slid the ring on her pinky finger, the only one it would fit on, and wiped his forehead of the perspiration that had developed after earnestly picking out the right floating yellow duck that swam around the narrow stream, which ran around the entire booth.  His eyes sparkled; a wide grin materialized upon his boyish face.

 

Liz bit her bottom lip and slowly closed her trembling fingers around the cheap, mass-produced trinket and pressed her hand against her lips.  Kyle.  She had left everything on such bad terms.  Her heart skipped a beat when she allowed her thoughts to trail down an unthinkable path.  Liz shook her head and clenched her jaw. 

 

No.  He was coming back.  She would have a chance to apologize for his heartfelt attempt to advise her.  Kyle would live, as well as Maria and the others.

 

~~~

 

"You're a lucky child."  Nicholas briefly glanced at the dark-haired child, whose strange blue eyes twinkled against his fair complexion.  He turned back towards the semi-transluscent, greyish-silver globe that was suspended in the air by two black clawlike hands, which emerged from the shadowed opening in the ceiling and floor, and admired the work of art.  The contraption Khivar's architects had built was unimpressive to the mere observer's eye; but the power it yielded was unimaginable - if in the right hands.  "You really should be honored," he reflected out loud, as he circled the genius that would make galaxies bow before the once-dismissed Antarian.  "Not everyone was created for such a task."

 

"Daaaaaaaa," the baby gurgled, reaching out from the sleek, body contouring, cushion seat.

 

Nicholas stopped in his tracks, by the baby's innocent cry.  His head leaned towards the non-stop jabber of the unsuspecting child; his gaze slowly scanned the room until it met the excitable child's inquisitive eyes.  He took a few tentative steps toward the child, who had been put under his care; and as his heart began to palpitate in an unusual rhythm.  As he approached the incarnation of his mortal enemies, Nicholas swallowed hard; his eyes narrowed and he leaned over the smiling child, until his nose was close enough to smell the familiar scent of Iturian wildberries on his breath.

 

"What are you trying to do to me?" Nicholas whispered, as one of Zander's small palms pressed against his cheek.  "I cannot help you."  He straightened up quickly, as if remaining in close proximity to the child could, somehow, inherently lead him somewhere he didn't want to be.  Nicholas turned his back on the child, and in doing so, was confronted by the machination of power that loomed over them. 

 

"It must be done."  His voice was resolute. 

 

Nicholas walked towards the machine, as if he was drawn by some magnetic force.  "It's all been planned."

 

~~~

 

"Have we heard anything from General Qunar?" Khivar barked to the unsuspecting lieutenant, who had appeared for his evening shift in the communication's centre.

 

"Uh..I-I don't know sir," the lieutenant stuttered, as he slighly cowered under Khivar's intense scrutiny.

 

Khivar growled in frustration and apprehension.  "Why have we not heard from him?"

 

"Sir," a skinny, pale officer said loudly and curtly; as a soldier would address his commander.  "General Qunar would probably be engaging our enemy in battle at this moment."  As soon as he finished injecting his own insight, the lieutenant saluted and sat down at his communication station, and returned to his work. 

 

Khivar thought about his last conference with the General and nodded. 

 

It made sense.  When they had last spoken, Qunar had informed them that they had captured Vilandra and several human hostages - people who were close to Zan.  It had brought him a sense of triumph and joy, as he could almost taste the victory at his grasp.

 

Zan had been caught unawares, and this had made it easier for Qunar to execute Khivar's plan.  Even though he had received disconsolate news about Rath and Ava's return to Antar, and their unknown whereabouts, Qunar's quickness against Zan would bring his plan to fruition.  He would be Ruler of all of Sentris Onaxis.

 

Zan was weak.  His hybrid form would crumble under Qunar's army's agile and debilitating strikes, and would have the 'dead king' buried in his grave for the last time.  Khivar clasped his hands together and pressed them against his thin lips. 

 

Yes, yes.  The Prophecy would be seen as a fraud, when he had broadcast the final minutes of the Loyalists' 'Great King''s' life.

 

~~~

 

'Give me strength'

 

Tess tossed and turned in her bed, sleeping restlessly.

 

Max stood upon the edge of a cliff; his usually intense dark eyes stared out into the distance, as if seeing a despairing image or terrifying event.  Tess turned and tried to see what he saw, but nothing would allow her focus to leave Max's uncertain and trepidatious face.  She was unable to discern what exactly held him in this state of fear, but part of her knew that his feelings were real, and what he faced was one of the defining moments in his life.  Her heart beat against her chest in time with his, as she stood at his side; he was completely unaware of her presence.

 

"Max?" she whispered into his ear, as she consciously slipped her cool fingers into his palm, squeezing ever so gently.  "I'm here."

 

Max's eyes flickered, as if in recognition; though his gaze never left whatever lay ahead.

 

Tess furrowed her brow and leaned in closer, pressing her body against his arm, as she allowed herself to indulgently run her fingers through the back of his hair, and whispered in his hear once more.  "Whatever it is, Max, I know you can face it.  You are stronger than this."  She paused, biting the bottom of her lip, as she tried to   understand what trial or test he was confronted by.  "You once asked me why I believed in you so much, and I told you it was because you were probably one great husband?"  Tess closed her eyes and licked her lips, recalling the familiar images of her past.  He had been a great husband - loving, kind, and passionate.  She felt her heart skip a beat at the fond memories.  At one time, they had brought her comfort and hope.

 

How she had missed him!

 

Suddenly Tess opened her eyes and stared up at Max's unchanged expression; her whole soul and body, alive with hope and understanding.  "Well that's not true anymore," she breathed, squeezing his hand tightly.  "I don't believe in you because of the man you were; but I believe in you because of the man you are."  Her blood raced within her veins, warming every inch of her body, making her skin tingle.  Tess strained upwards, as she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips on his cheek.  "I love you Maxwell, because you are the Chosen One; and your people believe in you.  Even though you're world's away, know that we are waiting for you to come home."

 

Tess relaxed her body, and stood flatfooted before Max.  She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his shoulder.  There was no telling what this vision or dream meant; or whether it was happening at all.  As she let out a ragged breath, Tess felt an almost imperceptible caress.  When she looked up, Max's dark brooding eyes met her uncertain gaze.  His hand, which was grasped tightly in hers, slipped out from under it, and reached up tenderly; his fingertips slightly grazed her cheek, sending a spine-tingling chill down her back.

 

"Max," she whispered, her voice barely audible; as his reaction caught her offguard - dream or not.

 

Tess closed her eyes and she felt his tentative hands cup her face, bringing his face closer to hers, until they were only inches apart.  She swallowed hard; it had been long since he had touched her like this.  When she opened her eyes, Maxwell's gaze was riveted to hers; they were both frozen in time.

 

"Tess," Max said solemnly.  "Thank you."

 

Tess blinked, uncertain of his words; she opened her mouth to speak, but Max pressed his thumb against them, halting her questions.  He straightened up and smiled softly.  "You were the answer to my prayers." 

 

With that, Max faded from view and she stood alone once more.

 

~ * ~

 

"Max!"  Tess sat up, awaking from her dream; her breathing was uneven and shallow.  She surveyed her surroundings and reorientated herself.  Her hand brushed back the loose curls that fell into her eyes, leaving her hand resting against the back of her neck.  The rise and fall of her chest slowed, as she leaned back against the wall behind her, while taking deep breaths after the indecipherable dream.

 

What had it meant?  What did it mean?

 

Tess closed her eyes and licked her dry lips.  Her whole body was alive after her encounter with Max.  His warm, soft hand against her face...it had been so comforting and powerfully real.  His words - they held such gratitude, and even, tenderness - echoed in her thoughts.

 

'You were the answer to my prayers.'

 

Tess pulled the warm sheets against her chest and bit the inside of her cheek.  Max.  Her silent cry was now filled with some measure of hope.  As she stared up towards the distant heavens, her body shivered.  A thickness developed in her throat, where a slight strain began to tug at the base of it.  Tess pulled her knees up towards her chest, hugging them; she gently began rocking herself, as her thoughts were consumed with images - memories of Max.  She rested her forehead against her knees; squeezing her eyes tightly in an attempt to stop the tears that were forming, her body began to convulse.  Finally, Tess collapsed in a flood of tears.

 

She needed him.  Oh how she needed him.  Tess knew she could not do this without him.  Maxwell was her other half; she knew that with every fibre of her being.

 

Tess wiped away the tears, which stained her cheeks.  She stared up at the endless expanse above her, and let out a feeble, choked sigh.  She was tired of lying to everyone, including herself. 

 

Swallowing hard, Tess cleared her throat and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.  "I...I know I haven't tried to understand you," she said slowly, unsure of how to approach this 'Being' that had been slowly wearing her down, until she was ready to surrender.  She had reached that point, now.  "But I don't know where else to turn."  Her voice had now become a whisper, as her tears began to well up inside again.  Tess hastily wiped away a stray tear from the corner of her eye and turned back to this 'God' who had gotten her into this predicament. 

 

Tess took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  "I need him."  Her voice cracked. 

 

She licked her lips and tried to regain her composure, while speaking to someone, who for all purposes, was invisible.  He was the first to hear her voice, what in her heart, seemed impossible, her heart's desire.  Never would she allow such a complete breakdown, except under the veil of a closed room, with a Deity that would never reveal her secret.

 

"I don't know how to talk to you," she blurted out, shaking her head.  "But if you're there...I need Max.  I don't want my son to be fatherless.  I don't want to live without him."  Tess reached over to her nightstand and pulled out a thin, silky, paper mesh square; she blew her nose and wiped the relapsing tears from her cheek.  "God, why does it have to be so hard?"  The frustration in her voice was only tentamount to the hope she had received from her vision.

 

Her shoulders drooped; she was tired of holding herself together - in the presence of others and in the quietness of her private room.  Tess struggled to understand where she stood with this 'God', whom she still held a reservation about, and how he was to communicate with her - if he desired that at all. 

 

As she sat in her bed, the events of the day, and the physical activities she participated in seemed to catch up with her.  Tess yawned, and forced her eyes to remain open.  There was still so many unfinished details she wanted to discuss with 'him'.

 

"How long do I have to wait?" she asked tiredly, snuggling under her warm covers.  "Can't you just give me a time frame?"

 

Prayer seemed like the only way to communicate with this 'God', which was tiring; she had never heard so much silence in her life.  Tess glanced up towards the small portal above her bed and groaned.  "I want to believe."  There was a hesitancy in her voice.  "But I'm running a little short on...faith, so if you could just, maybe help me out in that department."  Tess paused."Fadilia seems to have a overflowing abundance of it...maybe if just a little could rub off on me..."

 

Suddenly her head bobbed forward, and Tess snapped her head up in surprise - unaware that she was ready to drop from exhaustion.  Tess rested her eyes for a moment, relieving the stinging ache that had developed behind her eyes.  She was too tired to think or debate the idea of a 'Higher Power' at work in her life.  The dream or vision had lifted her spirits, but also brought more questions; she couldn't focus, let alone find any answers, in the state she was in.

 

Tess sighed, letting her entire body relax - laying back on her pillow.  Her eyes flitted, as the weight of her weary body finally overwhelmed her, causing her eyelids to slowly lower and close.  "Oh Max," she muttered, almost incoherently.  "You could...a-answer my prayers, too."  Her voice trailed off, as she fell back into an undisturbed slumber.

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