Disclaimer:
These characters do not belong to me, but to the writers and producers
of Roswell
Spoilers:
After Chant Down Babylon, changes happening where Max is successfully
rescued, and Michael was the one who broke up with Maria.
Pairings: You’ll have to wait and see!
Pronunciation Guide:
Author’s notes: Queen Fadilia
Kedar: Max/Isabel’s mother
King
Alaric Kedar: Max/Isabel’s father
Andaria: Tess’ mother
Radim:
Tess’ father
Kedrans: race from which Royal Four descended
Iturians: race from which Khivar descended, and
overthrew and killed Zan and the Kedrans
Cerideans: special core ops of the Iturian army, mostly
psyonics and telepaths
Kaptar’s
Jewel: constellation in the
Antarian’s star system
Yun’s
Garment: Aurora Borealis - Northern Lights
Saren Dari: desert plain on
Antar
Chapter Fifty One
***
My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of
my heart.
-
Job 17:11
***
Isabel mopped Jesse's brow with a
damp red cloth. As she gazed
endearingly at her husband, her slender fingers ran through his dark hair. "Wake up Jesse."
He was unconscious when she found
him. Barely breathing, Isabel couldn't believe
she had been led to him - it was as if some force had drawn her in the
secluded, lifeless area. She had
managed to drag him into the car and drove him back home. Her mother had already been home and gone
again; she had left a scribbled note on the fridge for her. Knowing that her mother would be gone for a
few hours granted Isabel a moments reprieve from the onslaught of questions
that would have arisen if Mrs. Evans would have seen Jesse's condition.
Isabel force-fed him water, hoping
she would be able to re-hydrate his depleted system. And all that was left for her after doing all that was possible
was to wait.
'It is not time,' a voice
whispered.
Isabel opened her eyes wide, jerking
her head up at the startling message.
"Who's there?" she gasped, as her eyes darted around her
bedroom.
"Isabel?" Kyle's voice
bellowed throughout the house.
Isabel turned her eyes toward the
door. She gently placed the damp cloth
upon Jesse's brow and rushed down the hall.
"Kyle?" His shaggy mop
of a head peered around the corner and smiled agreeably.
"Yup. And Maria's here too."
Isabel frowned as she entered the
dimly lit kitchen. "What are you
guys doing here?" she asked tentatively.
"Max told us about Jesse,"
Maria informed, her eyes gazing apologetically at Isabel. "We're sorry to hear about it."
Isabel shook her head and smiled
excitedly. "I found him!"
"What?" Kyle and Maria
asked dumbfounded.
"I went out looking for him and
in the middle of the desert, I found his body." Both looked stricken, as Isabel let out a heavy sigh. "He's alive, but he's dehydrated. He hasn't woken up yet."
"Shouldn't we take him to the
doctor?" Kyle asked dubiously.
Isabel shook her head. "No," she stated firmly. "We don't know how he got a way, or
where those FBI agents are lurking. I
don't want to take a chance of losing him again."
Maria looked skeptical about
Isabel's decision. "But if they
took him from your parents' house, what makes you think they couldn't do it
again?"
Isabel narrowed her eyes. "Over my dead body." Kyle glanced worriedly at Maria, as Isabel
observed with watchful eyes. "Look,
Max will be able to heal him and Jesse will be as good as new," she added,
hoping to lighten the tragic mood hovering in the room.
"Uh, well, I don't think Max
will be back anytime soon," Kyle grimaced.
"What do you mean?" Isabel
frowned anxiously. "Where is
he?" Again her two friends glanced
knowingly at each other, as if there was something left unsaid. "Guys, where is he?" she repeated
tersely.
Isabel didn't like the look upon
Kyle and Maria's faces. It made her
chest tighten and every muscle in her body tense up. It was never good news.
"He's with Liz," Maria
said hesitantly.
A sudden wash of relief flooded over
her. "Are you trying to give me a
heart attack?" she gasped, pressing her hand to her chest. "I thought you were going to say that
he was kidnapped or worse - dead."
She licked her dry lips and shook her head. Then she added, "Why is he taking so long? He doesn't know I found Jesse. I thought he was going to tell Michael,
Tess, and you guys."
"Um, well, he did," Kyle
nodded. "But something happened
while you were gone."
Isabel didn't like the sound of
that. When they were driving back to
Roswell, she couldn't get rid of this foreboding feeling that lingered over
her. And now with the way Kyle and
Maria were acting, it brought back the same ominous feeling all over again.
"Exnay on the magic act,"
Maria coughed, glaring at Kyle.
Now she knew there was something
definitely wrong.
"Tell me," Isabel
demanded. "I want to know what
you're keeping from me!"
Kyle scowled at Maria's pinched face
before turning to Isabel and shook his head.
"I know that Max said to wait, but I think you should know - Michael
and Tess left last night."
Suddenly time stopped and Isabel
felt like she was frozen. Completely
stunned at this news, she had no idea how to respond. Isabel blinked several times, think she had heard wrong. Michael and Tess left.
"They couldn't help it,"
Maria explained hesitantly.
"Apparently some big stuff was going down on Antar and they had to
get there on the double."
Isabel opened her mouth to say
something, but the words caught in her throat.
She couldn't do anything but press her lips back together. Her mind raced as the idea that Michael was
gone - without a word - and in less than a day and a half he had left her
alone. Suddenly a numb aching began to
throb beneath her chest. She hadn't expected
this...not this.
~
* ~
"And then Max ran after Liz,
and we came here." Kyle finished
his unconventional, almost cliché sci-fi-like recounting of that night, as they
sat around the kitchen table.
Isabel had run the gambit of
emotions. Denial had been a big factor
in the information that both Kyle and Maria had told her. The news of Tess' innocence hit her like a
Mac truck. In the back of her mind
there had always been doubts; they shared so much in such a small span of time
and for her to suddenly murder Alex, accident or not was something she had
always had trouble dealing with. And
now Maria had just informed her of the truth and shown her the real images of
what had happened that night; it was more than Isabel could digest.
Part of her felt relief at the
knowledge of exactly what had happened that night, but for the most part,
Isabel felt angry and hurt that Tess would lie to all of them like that. She didn't understand how the woman she had
befriended could allow them to believe she had murdered one of their closest
friends. It was unfathomable that
someone would lie about something like that - take upon themselves a burden
branding them as a murderess.
"I take it Liz is having
trouble with this?" Isabel said somberly.
"You're not kidding,"
Maria sighed loudly. "I didn't
think she would act like this. Usually
she's the one who's so accepting of the 'insane' stuff. I'm the one who usually freaks out."
"I think she believes that this
is one last attempt on Tess' part to win Max over to 'her' side," Kyle
said drolly. "And she could be
right. I don't know why she, just now,
decided to tell us the truth."
Isabel raised her eyebrows
dubiously. None of them could possibly
know her motives. Tess was good at that
- keeping her secrets to herself.
"Do you think that she did it
because she knew it was the last time she finally set things right?" Isabel frowned. She didn't know where that question came from. It was always obvious that Tess had her own
agenda and plans; this massive conspiracy and attempt to cover up who killed
Khivar proved it. But she knew
somewhere deep down that Tess did it because she thought it was the only
way. Not that she was right about that
- Isabel knew that she, Michael and Maxx would have figured a way out of the
mess, without having to exile her for the past year in a horrible 'prison'.
Kyle and Maria looked skeptically at
Isabel. "I wouldn't bet my life on
it," Kyle retorted. Then he paused
a moment and added, "But then again, I also believed she was capable of
murder." He closed his eyes and
rubbed his eye wearily.
"Does this change things for
you?" Maria asked quietly, but inquisitively.
Isabel shrugged. "I don't know," she replied
vaguely. "A lot of things changed
when we were away; I'm confused, as I'm sure Max is."
"What stuff?" Kyle probed
subtly.
Isabel hesitated, while deliberating
whether she should explain the intense, personal experience she had in that
countryside church. Looking up, she
smiled faintly. "Let's just say that
we understand where Michael's coming from now, especially now, hearing about
Tess and her lies."
"So Liz has something to be
worried about then," Kyle muttered under his breath, while focusing on the
saltshaker in his hand.
Isabel glanced at the tired teen
boy, who seemed ready to drop, except for his concern for Liz seemed to predate
his destiny with a nearby bed. She
understood his empathy for Liz - though she thought that she saw something more
than that in his hazel eyes. Isabel
knew that Liz was dealing with the infinitely closer reality of Max leaving her
behind; it wasn't something someone could accept at the drop of a hat. She thought about Jesse, who lay asleep in
the room down the hall; he had been through so much for her, and to know that
Isabel could possibly walk away from him would probably tear his heart out.
Liz had gone through every
terrifying moment with them - the dangers, the possibility of dying, or getting
taken hostage - all of it had been for Max.
To now realize this love she had with Max was now in jeopardy because of
the sudden realization that he could not escape his destiny, was
understandable. How many times had Max
told Liz that there was nothing that would keep them apart? Many times Isabel had silently rebuked Max
for uttering promises that weren't his to give. And now Liz's heart was paying the price.
~~~
Liz ran down the sidewalk in the
already darkening dusk of day. Tears
flooded her eyes. She choked down the
salty torrent, as she passed by the blurred images of trees and parked cars
that faded in her peripheral vision.
“I need you
to tell them everything. I need you to help them understand what is at stake
right now, and what they need to do.”
“And how am I supposed to do that, Michael? When I don’t understand anything myself? You’re leaving without so much as a word, and you’re telling me that I need to help Max and Isabel ‘understand what they need to do‘?”
Recalling her vague and cryptic
conversation with Michael made the painful lump in her throat grow.
He had known. All along he had known about Tess'
lies. That was what he had been talking
to her about - expecting her to find out about Tess, before Max and Isabel
returned, and explain to them what they had just seen.
Liz closed her eyes and continued to
place one foot in front of the other. But
how could she do it? After seeing
Tess' memories, Liz knew that Michael expected her to let Max go. Michael wanted to her to send Max off with
her blessing. Her ears were pounding.
Nothing made sense anymore; nothing
was happening as she had planned.
Liz let a painful cry escape from
her lips as she tore down the street towards the pathway that led to the
park. Her heart felt like it was going
to burst. She had been running at a
frantic pace and when she reached the edge of the shadowy green arena,
stopped. Her lungs were crying for air,
as she let out a loud gasp, doubling over and cradling her stomach.
"We make our own destiny,"
said a familiar
voice.
Liz let out a primal scream as Max's
confident and misguided voice filled her ears.
She ran her fingers haphazardly through her disheveled hair. Dusk had fallen and the park was darker than
ever. Her heart was racing after her
sprint to the unoccupied, recreational space.
Pausing to wipe the tears from her rosy cheeks, Liz stumbled towards a
nearby picnic table, and sat down. She
rested her head in the palm of her hands, as her mind filled with images of the
memorable moments of the past year. Liz
could see Max's smiling face as he danced with her at the Crashdown when she
had to close up late one night. He had
whispered loving words into her hear as his lips pressed against her ear.
"Why did you tell me that we
could make our own destiny," she whispered hoarsely into the silent night.
Her body shook, as she allowed her
tears to well up within her again. It
was too much to deal with. What seemed
like an improbability had resurfaced as a nightmare, and now turned out to be
reality.
You fooled yourself when you
believed that he could let all those people die - that you could let all those
people die.
Suddenly the flood of tears stopped,
as if someone had turned off the tap to the waterworks. Liz swallowed the salty remnants of her
sorrow and self-pity and stared out into the unsettling shadows of the
night. It was like someone had turned
on the lights and kicked her through the open door of truth. It's not all about me. The epiphany was stunning and unexpected.
'What is at stake here?' a voice
asked accusingly.
Liz swallowed, unable to answer.
'You want to do something big? You want to be something? Then be the one who lets the Chosen One save
his people'
I can't.
'You're willing to let his people
die?' The voice suddenly became louder.
"I can't," she whispered
remorsefully. "I love him."
Suddenly Liz was overtaken by flash
of images - her parents, Maria, Kyle, her classmates - the memories were
vivid. Suddenly the faces converged
into one face, and the human face of Max and Isabel's mother materialized
before her.
‘Learn enough to use your skills, your knowledge, your leadership to combat the enemy so that you can come back and free us. And that I may once again hold you both in my arms. I live for that moment. Help us. I love you.’
"Oh God," she panted, her
head pounding. "What am I supposed
to do?"
~~~
"I'm glad we have this time to
be alone," Fadilia smiled softly at Tess, who stared at the ground.
"As am I," Tess replied
quietly.
Fadilia motioned her to sit in the
chair across from her. "Do you
remember me, Ava?"
Tess swallowed uneasily, as she
approached the chair and swept the hem of her dress to the side before sitting
down. "I...I have memories of you
Queen Fadilia," she said hesitantly.
"But I still haven't regained all of my memories."
Fadilia nodded. She suspected as much. This Ava was timid in her presence, while
the other had been quite bold and lively.
She supposed the child, even though she was born with the memories of
her past life, was still awkward about the responsibilities that were before her. Ava's life was within her, but she was also
different. Fadilia could see the Ava at
present was not the Ava of the past.
Silently she made a mental note to herself about this observation; she
could not treat her as she would have treated Ava in the past.
"Please, call me Fadilia."
Tess looked up embarrassingly at
Max's mother. "I couldn't,"
she said timidly. "That's not
appropriate."
"Nonsense!"
Fadilia retorted. "You are my
daughter-in-law. You are the reigning
Queen of Antar. Of course you can refer
to me by my proper name." She
waved her hand dismissively at the ritualistic folly.
Tess blushed and laughed. "If you would prefer me to call you
Fadilia, Your Majesty, then I will."
The woman who sat before her was stunning in external beauty, but
within, Tess could see she was a gentle spirit.
"Fine," Fadilia pursed her
lips and clasped her hands together.
"Then that is settled."
She sat up and studied her daughter-in-law. Fadilia had heard many good reports from their undercover agents
at Nicholas' mansion; that she had managed to carry herself proudly and with a
considerable amount of respect. When
she had heard that Khivar had placed Ava under Nicholas' watchful eye and
probing mental powers, Fadilia had been on edge, demanding daily reports on
Ava's health and mental status.
"Is there something you would
like to ask me?" Tess asked. She
felt uncomfortable under Fadilia's scrutinizing gaze.
Fadilia widened her eyes and shook
her head apologetically. "Forgive
me. That was rude," she
gasped. "I was just recalling the
reports I have been receiving about you since your first return."
Tess bit her bottom lip and furrowed
her brow. "Were they bad? I mean, I know that I didn't let anyone know
about my return," she apologized quickly.
"It just happened so suddenly, plus we didn't know how to contact
you."
Fadilia shook her head and gestured
that she understood. "At first we
were surprised to hear about your deal with Khivar," she said slowly. "We did not understand why you would do
such a thing - make a friend of your enemy.
And then when we realized how he had you fooled, we were quite worried
about your welfare. Everything could
have been in jeopardy." She could
feel her heart racing just at the memory of General Steren informing her of
what Ava had done. Part of her had
almost hated Ava for putting her son in such peril.
"I'm so sorry," Tess
gasped, horrified at what they must have thought about her. "I just didn't know where to turn. I was trying to convince Max and the others
to help me find a way home, but all of them wanted to stay on Earth." She sighed at the foolishness of it
all. "I would have done it any
other way, but there just didn't seem like a better way...but I regret trusting
Khivar at all now. I mean, I lost
someone very important to me because of how ignorant and stubborn I
was." Tess closed her eyes and
recalled Alex's face bitterly in her mind.
Fadilia reached over and squeezed
Tess' hand. "Alex was his name,
was it not?" she asked gently.
Tess looked up, quickly wiping a
lone tear from the corner of her eye.
"Yes. He was a very good
friend, and because of me, he died."
Fadilia closed her eyes and shook
her head, her heart filled with empathy for the child. "It was not your fault my child, Khivar
is evil and he used you. You cannot
blame yourself for the work of a madman!" she protested.
A moment of relief filled Tess, as
Fadilia seemed to forgive her ignorance.
She hadn't thought about how her actions would look to the Queen until
they had informed her that Fadilia had requested a private audience with
her. A flood of accusations filled her
mind and every muscle was tense with anticipation as she walked down those
cool, cavernous corridors. And now she
could see Fadilia understood. "I'm
sorry," she began to sniffle, as tears trickled down her cheeks. "I don't know why I'm
crying." Tess tried to stop the
torrent of tears that seemed to be released by the older woman's words.
Fadilia slipped her hand into her
sleeve and produced a blue piece of fabric; she handed it to Ava. "Oh Ava, I am sorry we put you through
such an ordeal," she said soothingly.
"We were foolish to think that your life would be an easy one. Our architects and your father never
considered the possibility of the events that occurred in the past 18 seasons
of your life." She pulled Ava into
a warm embrace, comforting the weary child.
Tess closed her eyes and let the
worries and concerns of the past three years of her life fall from her
shoulders, welcoming the maternal comfort she had longed for during her
childhood. Even when she had found
Andaria, there had been no time for understanding and comfort; they had to plan
her return to Earth. Now as she stood
in Fadilia's reassuring arms, Tess felt like she truly belonged somewhere -
like she had a home.
"I want you to know how pleased
with you, we are, Ava." Fadilia
paused a moment while still cradling the child in her arms - she recalled Rath
referring to her by a different name during the celebration. She pulled away slightly, and looked down
upon Ava's tear-stained cheeks.
"Do you want to be referred to as Ava?" she asked curiously.
Tess was startled by the
question. "What do you mean?"
"I seem to recall hearing Rath
refer to you by a different name, as you also did, him." Fadilia
remembered being surprised at the unfamiliar names while they spoke around the
table.
Tess swallowed. She didn't know how to answer that
question. She questioned whether they
would be offended at the preference to her 'given' Earth name. "Uh, well, on Earth, everyone called me
'Tess'. Nasedo gave me that name."
The name 'Nasedo' brought sorrow to
Fadilia. He had been a faithful
servant.
"And Rath's Earth name is
Michael," Tess continued. "I
don't mind being called 'Ava', but sometimes Michael or I might slip when we're
talking about each other."
"Yes, well, if you prefer to be
called 'Tess' was it? Then of course we
shall inform everyone in the colony of that," Fadilia announced
courteously. "I do not want to
impose upon you the name given to your predecessor."
"But if it will cause
problems...I mean, in a way I am 'Ava'."
Fadilia shook her head and grasped
her by the shoulders. "You are not
your predecessor," she stated.
"You may carry the memories of Ava's past life and part of her
essence, but I can see already, that you are not 'Ava'. And that is a good thing, I
believe." She smiled happily at
Tess and stroked her cheek.
Tess was again grateful to Fadilia's
gracious and accepting approach to her and Michael's situation and
circumstances. "Thank you,"
she whispered. "But why do you say
that it's a good thing?"
Fadilia sighed loudly and led her by
the arm towards the staircase within her chambers. "In our texts, the Royal Four have been prophesied about,
even before your previous deaths. This
has been what has kept our people from despair and complete submission to
Khivar. Destiny has been our hope in
these dark times," she explained, as they stepped out onto the mountainous
plateau. "And when our architects
and Radim, your father, began a cloning project, which would allow your essence
to be transferred into the hybrid bodies, they saw the Prophecy being
fulfilled."
"And so why didn't it all work
out?" Tess asked intently.
"Well, as I'm sure Nasedo
informed you, your ship crashed and the architects' location for a safe haven
was changed and then the human military attacked, taking all hostage. They experimented, probed, and tortured our
men until their deaths," Fadilia recalled bitterly, staring into the
serene valley below. "I know now
that it was a mistake to experiment with life in such a unethical way."
She paused. "There were many lives
thrown away in an attempt to create your perfect images."
Tess lowered her eyes and let the
cool evening breeze caress her tired body.
How could she forget? It was the
Dupes who had made a deal with Khivar.
They lured both her and Max to New York. The events of the trip to New York had been one of her strongest
memories; it had opened Max up to the possibility of returning home for the
first time.
"But why are you saying that
you shouldn't have let them do those experiments?" Tess asked
apprehensively. "Isn't that why
I'm here? Isn't that why there's this
'destiny'?"
Fadilia glanced at the inquisitive
and observant woman who stood before her.
Was there a way to make her understand?
Andaria had spoken to her about Tess' lack of faith and trust in destiny
after Zan's rejection.
"I do believe that the Prophecy
is true and will be fulfilled, but it would have happened without our
tampering," Fadilia sighed.
"We were unbelieving fools."
"King Alaric, Zan's father,
spoke often about this Unseen Being - I believe on Earth, he was called 'God' -
and how the Prophecies that had been spoken were from Him. Now, in my old age and years of solitude,
I've come to realize how real this 'God' is.
I've seen him protect the House of Kedra, His chosen people, through the
worst and torturous years ever known on Antar.
And this 'God' who saw it fit to preserve my life and the lives of
hundreds of thousands of Loyalists - faithful to the House of Kedra - why would He not have fulfilled His
Prophecy without our handiwork?"
Tess understood, in concept, what
Fadilia was trying to explain to her, but didn't that mean she was a
monster? Fadilia seemed to speak of the
architects' creation as an abomination, which would make her, Max, Isabel, and
Michael these horrible creatures.
"So are you saying that we should have never been born?"
Fadilia opened her mouth in
astonishment; she shook her head fervently.
"No! Oh Celestial's
no!" she exclaimed ruefully, pressing her hand to her lips. "You have to understand that the One
used you, in spite of our fallibility in judgment. You are mercy and grace to our rebelliousness."
"I don't understand," Tess
frowned, folding her arms across her chest.
Fadilia cupped Tess' face in her
hands. "What you need to
understand is, you are our people's Blessing.
Despite what a complete and utter chaos we have wreaked, the One gave
you to us as a blessing. It was His
will that brought you into this universe and into our lives."
Tess didn't know how she felt about
the whole situation. Just when she
thought she had gotten a firm grasp on her situation, some unexpected obstacle
popped into her path. She sighed,
uncertain of her purpose. Was she this
abomination? Or was she a
blessing? Tess weighed these two
choices and found herself wanting.
Fadilia could see that Tess was
troubled by the truth surrounding her creation, and how it was
controversial. This was not what she
intended to happen. Fadilia sighed at
her failure to communicate with the child.
She seemed so uncertain about herself and her place.
"Tess," she spoke firmly,
"You are a wonderful gift of 'God'.
Your purpose is clear. You are
and will be again, the Queen of Antar."
The words seemed to ring
hollow. Tess looked up at Fadilia. "Then maybe God is still punishing us
for messing with Him?" she said hesitantly. "I mean, the Prophecy has The Royal Four returning and
restoring the House of Kedra to its rightful place on the throne, right?"
Fadilia nodded slowly, unsure where
the child was going with this line of logic.
"Yes, but child, it is already coming to fulfillment. By the Festival of New Moons, the Royal Four
shall have turned aside Khivar's evil reign over the people of Antar."
"But Max...Zan refuses
to do that!" Tess exclaimed dubiously.
"So really where are we in the whole scheme of things?"
Fadilia then realized where the
turmoil and uncertainty within Tess lay.
She smiled faintly, tucking in a stray lock of pale blonde hair behind
the child's ear. "Zan will
return," she cooed, trying to soothe the frustration and sadness that hid
beneath her crystal clear blue eyes.
"You must have faith."
Tess scoffed at the simple
statement. She sounded just like
Andaria, and look where it had gotten her?
"I love your Max, who you call Zan, and I always will. But he has made it clear that he doesn’t
feel the same. I used to believe
and hope," she said tiredly.
"But your son cured me of that curse…excuse me…" Tess pulled away from the Queen and fled
down the flight of stairs, unable to face her after what she had said about
Max.
Fadilia was stunned at her
unexpected outburst. Their technology
was not able to keep her informed of Zan's movements, without exerting enough
power for Khivar's Army to locate their base.
The agents had been able to glean minute pieces of information about the
Four since the time of their 'birth' until now. But specifics had never been especially close-at-hand. Now
Fadilia truly wished that there had been away to monitor her son more closely. This woman whom her son had loved
passionately, seemed so dejected and lost.
Oh Zan, when are you going to see
this is your place?
~~~
Max stood on the sidewalk, his eyes
darting around the park, searching for Liz.
He had no idea how fast she could run until that moment. It tore at him to see the expression on her
face when she walked out of the apartment; he had never seen her look more
betrayed.
"Please," he looked up
into the shadowy grey sky, "let me find her."
Max jogged down a few more feet
before seeing something move a few metres away. It looked like there was someone sitting in the park. He looked up into the sky - to that Unknown
God he had always had a slight disregard for - and closed his eyes in
hope. Please.
As he approached the willowy figure
sitting on the picnic table bench, Max could see her debating with
herself. When Max drew close only a few
feet away, he knew the woman was Liz.
He recognized the soft, silky curtain of hair blew in the cool gentle
evening breeze. Her back stiffened as
he closed the distance between them.
She knew he was here.
"Max," Liz turned around
and confronted him. Her eyes shone in
the dim light of the crescent moon.
"Liz I'm so sorry," he
whispered, as he reached out for her hand.
She pulled away, standing just out of reach.
"What are you sorry
about?" she asked apprehensively.
The gulf that had been created
seemed insurmountable. As he stood
there trying to figure a way to bridge the gap, Max was left with nothing. It felt like things had been decided, even
though he was still wrestling with his conflicted feelings. Liz was pulling him to stay, while this
Unseen Being demanded his attention somewhere else. He could not reconcile either decision within himself.
"I'm sorry I made you go
through all of this," Max said, weighing each word he used with her. "I don't think any of us expected any
of this." He waved his hands in
the air, as if gesturing to some visible symbol of the information that had been
revealed. Max stepped tentatively
closer to Liz, who seemed to relax somewhat.
"Max, tell me the
truth." She paused, looking him
straight in the eye. "Are you
thinking of leaving?"
The question was blunt. Max knew that Liz wouldn't accept anything
but the truth at this moment. He licked
his lips, which had suddenly become dry, and cleared his throat. What should he tell her?
"W-well, a lot of things have
been happening to me Liz," he stammered.
"When Isabel and I left to find out what we were going to do about
Tess, Michael and the sudden changes all of us were going through...well, a
part of us that we never knew...or wanted to know, well, woke up."
He wasn't doing a good job
explaining it all. From the expression
on Liz's face, she was trying her best to understand what he was talking
about. Meanwhile, memories of his conversation
with himself on the beach came back to him, and forced him to press on. Zan's voice haunted him.
“Liz. She’s your test, Max. Can you let go of your human desires, and choose to be the King you were meant to be?”
"What do you mean?" Liz
whispered; her posture seemed to slope and her face worn and weary.
"If I'm going to be
honest," Max blurted out, knowing that if he did not say it in the next
few minutes he would chicken out.
"I have been thinking about the responsibility I have back on
Antar." He heard himself breathing
hard, as if he had just finished a marathon.
"I saw things when I was away - things that weren't from this world
- and they have been making me realize that as much as I hate the thought of
leaving you...that maybe I can't deny that there are things I have to do."
Liz looked quite calm at Max's
admission. She stood staring at him,
slowly nodding her head as if someone had just asked her if she wanted an ice cream
cone, instead of telling her that there was a good chance that he was leaving
Earth for good. It was disheartening
and filled Max with concern.
"Oh," is all that she
managed to say.
Max reached again for her, but she
turned towards the paved trail that led out of the park, and slowly began
walking towards it. He jogged up beside
her and grabbed her left hand and entwined his fingers with hers. "It's not decided yet," he said
awkwardly, knowing the words offered no comfort.
"How can you say that Max?" Her gaze remained glued upon the path before
them, never once glancing at him.
"I don't know," he
admitted, walking along side her. There
was a deafening silence between them.
The wall that had suddenly fallen between them only seemed to grow higher. Finally Max couldn't take it anymore and
asked, "What do you want me to say Liz?"
Liz stopped her purposeful strides
and stood in front of him, staring at him in disbelief. "How can you ask me that Max?" she
cried angrily.
Max blinked several times, surprised
at her sudden outburst. He
shrugged. "Well I don't know what
you want me to say!" He responded
with equal passion. "It's not like
I planned all of this out. And you know
that. But every time something comes
up, it's like you blame me for letting it happen!" Max exclaimed. "Well I don't want this to
happen!" Liz's expression had
turned to surprise and remorse; and suddenly Max realized he had been shouting
at her.
"I'm sorry," he breathed
regretfully.
Liz backed away and shook her head. "No," she said timidly. "You're right. It's not your fault that you're an alien and
king of another planet."
He could hear the beginnings of
tears in her trembling voice.
"Liz..." he protested, but she stopped him, folding her arms
across her chest and laughing almost painfully. "Max stop."
He watched her quickly wipe the
unwanted tears, which slowly slid down her flushed face, away. The deep, dark pools of chocolate that had
looked at him with such longing and tenderness in the past, now seemed cold;
and the hurt and rejection left her face and was replaced with one of
resignation and understanding.
"Listen to me," she
sighed. "I've been beating my
head, trying to convince myself that you are my destiny." She walked towards him and tenderly caressed
his cheek. "But I can't do that
anymore. Before Michael left, he told
me that there was a reason I was in your life..." Her voice trailed off. She averted her eyes and took a moment to
gather her composure again.
"I love you Max. I don't think I've ever experienced the
things I've experienced with you. But
Michael was right. There's something
bigger at stake than our love. And as
much as we want to deny it, I think I was right the first time, when I walked
away." She paused. "It wasn't our time Max and our
destiny"
Suddenly Liz rested her head against
his chest, her whole body trembling in tears.
He felt the warmth of her body press against him, and he responded in
kind by placing his arms around her.
Max pressed his lips against her soft brown hair. It smelled like strawberries. And as they stood there, holding each other,
Max felt himself suddenly comprehend what she had just done. He blinked numbly as he felt the warring
factions within himself fall to the wayside.
Her muffled sobs brought him back to the present, and it was then that
Max realized that he was also crying.
He hadn't passed the test - but Liz
had just given him a passing grade.