Loving Destiny

 

Disclaimer:  These characters do not belong to me, but to the writers and producers of Roswell

Spoilers:  After Chant Down Babylon, changes happening where Max is successfully rescued, and Michael was the one who broke up with Maria.

Pairings:  You’ll have to wait and see!

Pronunciation Guide:  

Author’s notes:      Queen Fadilia Kedar: Max/Isabel’s mother

                                        King Alaric Kedar: Max/Isabel’s father

                                        Andaria: Tess’ mother

                                        Radim:  Tess’ father

                              Kedrans: race from which Royal Four descended

                                        Iturians: race from which Khivar descended, and overthrew and killed Zan and the Kedrans

                                        Cerideans:  special core ops of the Iturian army, mostly psyonics and telepaths

                                        Kaptar’s Jewel:  constellation in the Antarian’s star system

 

 

Chapter Forty Five

 

***

“What has been done today was commanded by the LORD to make atonement for you.”

                                                                                                      - Lev. 8:34

***

 

 

White and light green, oblong shapes hovered above the steep drop off below.  The evening sky danced above; the celestial lights clung to the silky, infinite canvas, caressed by the majestic waves of glowing wind swept clouds.  It hid the moving discs behind its ribbon-like curtain.

 

Three shadowed figures converged at the peak of the rocky bluff.  “Have they been notified?” asked one tall figure.

 

“Yes,” stated another.

 

“Everything is in order?” the third whispered in a low rumble.

 

The tall figure nodded.  “Everything is prepared.”

 

Good.”

 

~~~

 

White, hot fire burned through her body.  Andaria’s back arched against the hard metallic table, as her molecular structure strained against the vacuum created as one of Khivar’s instruments of torture.  It took every ounce of strength, and will not to cry out in pain.  She would never give Khivar the satisfaction.

 

Her mind raced as she had a brief moment of relief, as the architect wielding the machine, honed his instrument.  Andaria tried to focus on where she was.  Her consciousness was fading, and once it did, the charade would end.

 

Andaria lifted her thoughts heavenward. 

 

Give me strength, Lord of all.  And let not my children who have been lost, falter now, in this, their day.

 

Their day was approaching.

 

Her thoughts then turned to Ava.  She was strong, yet her faith was weak, especially since her return.

 

Ava, my child, put away your doubts and believe.

 

~~~

 

Maria’s head hurt.  She groaned as her hands held her throbbing temples.  Images were forever etched into her mind.

 

She could see Alex’s tired face.  His limp body cradled in Tess’ arms.  There were so many images.

 

Michael put his arm around Maria, as he guided her to the couch, to lie down.  The experience was painful to watch.  Tess finally came forth with the truth about the night Alex died.  But when she told the truth, Maria had refused to believe it.

 

So Tess walked her through the ‘endless night’.

 

Maria’s cries were urgent and full of longing and sorrow.  Michael wished that there were some way to quell the pain, but instead, he resigned himself to hold her trembling body.

 

“You need to sleep,” Tess numbly told Maria, who hadn’t looked at her once yet.

 

Michael noticed for the first time that her face had also paled.

 

“Are you all right?” he frowned.  The last thing he needed was Tess passing out on him.

 

Tess rubbed her forehead.  “I’ll be fine,” she said dismissively.  “I’m just a little bit tired.”

 

“Why did you lie to us?”  Maria had never felt so wretched, and yet so calm.  She finally knew what happened to one of the most important people in her life, but it didn’t take away the pain and the grief.

 

“I did what I had to do.”  The tone was curt, and revealed her desire to leave it at that.

 

But Maria couldn’t.

 

“And that’s it?” she exclaimed in torment.  “You did what you had to do?  How many people have gone off thinking that you killed him?  I don’t understand you!”

 

Tess tried to keep her composure.  Reliving the night of Alex’s death once for Michael was hard enough, but to mentally relieve those memories with Tess had been excruciating.  She turned away.  “I really am sorry I couldn’t save him.”

 

“I can’t believe you did that to us...put us through all of that.  The not knowing; you really are selfish.”

 

Tess spun around and glared at Maria, tears running down her cheek.  “Do you even comprehend what I went through?” she yelled.  “I know I messed up!  Big time.  Don’t you think I know that?”  She tried to catch her breath, winded from the yelling and the tears, which were choking her.

 

“I loved him too.  I had no idea what Khivar was doing to him.  I didn’t know he was killing him.”

 

Maria watched the cold, heartless witch, she had hated for the past year and a half, dissolve before her eyes.  Suddenly her chest tightened and she couldn’t rid herself of this nagging ache within her.  Maria tried to push it aside, this feeling, but it remained.

 

“Look, can you stop blaming it all on her?” Michael growled.  “You know it wasn’t all of her fault.”  He made Maria look him square in the eye.

 

Maria swallowed hard, turning away from Michael’s scrutinizing gaze.  “I know,” she admitted tersely.  “I know she isn’t the one who killed him.  But I just...”  Tears began welling up in the corners of her eye.

 

Michael sighed and nodded.  “I know how hard this is Maria.  I had a hard time not looking at her the way we’ve gotten used to, over the past year.”

 

Maria took a deep breath, swallowing the anger that remained, and turned to Tess.  “I know you didn’t kill him on purpose,” she blurted out, forcing the tone in her voice to remain civil.  “But I won’t say I don’t blame you for starting this whole mess.”

 

She just couldn’t pardon her, for her part in bringing Khivar into Alex’s life.  Not yet.

 

“Then you’re going to have to blame me too,” Michael stated firmly.

 

Maria furrowed her brow as she peered up at Michael.  “What?  You didn’t bring him here, Michael!”

 

“But I’m part of the reason he was here, and part of the reason why Tess contacted him.”

 

Maria pondered his somewhat skewed logic.  Never had she seen Michael this adamant about anyone, about protecting anyone.

 

“Michael, she has a right to be angry,” Tess grimaced.  “And we both know it.”

 

“That’s why I said I wasn’t asking for your forgiveness.  I don’t deserve any.  But I needed you to know the truth.  I’ve realized how important it is that those I’ve hurt with my web of lies and deception, know the truth.”

 

“Why?” Maria asked suspiciously.  “Why are you telling me now?”

 

Tess took a few steps forward.  “It’s almost time for us to leave now,” she explained.  “And I don’t think I’m ever going to get the chance to explain all of this...to any of them.”  Her heart sunk as she spoke the words, she was loathed to say.  “Anyway, at least you can give them a little piece of the truth.”

 

Maria looked at the petite blonde, emotionless.  Her reminder of their departure brought to her, a sense of loss.  Even for Tess now, though she had no idea why.  “I felt your emotions while you showed me what happened,” she paused, trying to find the words to express what she felt and saw.  “I know you loved Max.  That’s why I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell him the truth.”

 

Michael turned his gaze upon Tess, who looked uncomfortable, being the focus of attention.  “You never gave us a good reason.”

 

Tess lowered her gaze.  How could she explain this to them?

 

“I...I belong with Max,” she stammered, as she began to pace.  “And everyone knew that.  Max was with me because a book told him so...”

 

Maria listened intently.  She had never truly felt Tess was human until now.  During the entire year she had hung out with their group, Tess had been more alien than human.  Her focus, her goal of returning to Antar was her sole purpose in life.  It seemed robotic, like it had been programmed into her.  But now, as she stuttered, looking unsure of herself – vulnerable to attack – did Maria see a human in amidst the cool exterior.

 

“I thought at first I could fool myself into believing that it was only a matter of time, before he loved me.  When we were planning our return to Antar, I almost fooled myself into believing he was doing this because he loved me, and the baby.  But when my plan fell into place and Liz told him that I had killed Alex, I realized that he didn’t love me.  He was still infatuated with Liz.”

 

“Why do you say that?” Michael frowned.

 

“Because, like I told you before Michael, he believed her,” she spat.  “When those words left Liz’s mouth, I watched Max’s face, and it ate up every word she said.”

 

“Don’t you think it could have been because you told him it was true?” Maria asked incredibly.  She couldn’t believe that anyone would allow someone they loved to think that about them.

 

Tess swallowed.  “I had to.  It had to go according to plan.”

 

“But what about after?”  Maria asked suspiciously.  “Why didn’t you tell him after you saved his life?”

 

Tess bit her lip.  Many times she had often pondered that question herself.  She even thought she had found the answer, but as she peered up into Maria and Michael’s waiting faces, she knew that was for her to know.  Clearing her throat, Tess glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall.

 

“Michael we have to get going.”  It was an easy way out, but she couldn’t explain it to Maria, not when she hadn’t even explained it to herself.  Besides, she wasn’t lying.  It had been a half an hour since the Munan appeared at their doorstep.  Their time was running short.

 

Michael observed Tess’ restlessness.  He knew part of her was debating whether she should have revealed all of this, to Maria.  But however unsettled the confession had left Tess feeling, Michael was glad Maria, Max and Isabel would know the truth.  It lifted a weight off his shoulder.

 

Maria tensed at the knowledge that this was the last time she would see Michael ever again.  Don’t go,” she whispered, her voice choking with tears.  “I don’t want you to go.”

 

The plea sent a sharp, but dull ache through his body.  This was it.  He and Tess were leaving.  He would never see Maria, Kyle, Liz, Max, or Isabel’s face again.

 

Tess watched silently as the two ex-lovers, and friends began to say their tearful goodbyes.

 

Michael felt his throat become dry, and it hurt to swallow.  He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.  A sudden wetness kissed his cheek.

 

“Don’t cry,” he whispered hoarsely, as he pulled away from her limp arms.  As he peered down at her, Michael suddenly realized they were his tears that began to stain his cheeks.  His last memory – the taste of salt wet his lips.

 

~~~

 

So you see,” Khivar smiled maliciously.  “Your silence is causing this friend of yours pain.  In one respect, you are the one killing her.”

 

He had been looking forward to this highlight, all evening.  Once he realized how attached the old servant was to the nurse, Khivar knew exactly what he needed to do.  And now, watching the Kedran’s fallen face, he knew he had the Antarian right where he wanted him.

 

“Tell us where the Loyalist base is,” Khivar barked.  “And maybe I’ll spare her one more night.”

 

The traitor seemed to consider the proposition.  But unexpectedly, as if the old woman knew exactly what he was planning, cried out from the vacuumous chamber.  “You will never win!  The One has fated you to oblivion!”

 

Khivar signalled a nearby guard to silence the prisoner.  “This is your only chance, Medgio, son of Patron.  Without your intervention, the old woman will surely meet the Maker of which she has so aptly spoken for!”

 

The bondsman met his gaze with a renewed vigour.  “As she has spoken, Your Highness, your time draws near,” Medgio said forebodingly.

 

Khivar’s eyes widened in rage.  His body tensed, as he snapped his finger inches from the insolent fool, signaling a guard to take the stubborn prisoner away.  He had failed again.

 

All because of her. 

 

Khivar stared angrily through the transparent glass and into the darkened chamber.  He would have to think of something long and torturous for the woman that laied before him.  Many prisoners had vanished under his architect’s machine, but not this one, which made him all the more certain there was something this dilapidated nursemaid.

 

Wretched witch!  Ava will pay dearly for your interference.

 

~~~

 

 

“Have you been thinking about going back, Max?”  Isabel tried to push the question out of her mind until they returned to Roswell, but it plagued her until she could no longer hold it in.

 

Max shifted in his leather seat.  “I have, but we both have, right?” 

 

The question had been mute.  Of course, both had been contemplating their return to Antar, after an encounter of such an unexplainable magnitude, how could they not?

 

“How much do you believe in this destiny thing, Max?”

 

“I...I don’t know,” he stammered.  Ever since he was a child, the notion of ‘God’ wasn’t one he necessarily believed in.  There were so many factors in his decision to write off an Unseen deity that controlled the universe.

 

First, how could he believe in something he couldn’t see?  How many claims had humans made that they had seen God?  None could ever provide the material proof.

 

Secondly, could he believe in some Being that allowed such suffering?  It was all a crapshoot.

 

But lately this ‘God’ had been speaking to him.  How could he deny that he had a purpose?  And now, with ‘Fiachra’ appearing out of nowhere, the more convinced he was that he was needed.  The only question was could he do it?

 

The thought of destiny scared him.  Here an entire planet was depending on him to save them from a tyrant, who was powerful enough to destroy him before.  What was different this time?

 

‘Trust me, Max.’

 

As he studied the twinkling lights above, Max was immersed in his own world.  Was he just missing something?

 

‘Believe me, Max.’

 

Had he closed himself off to the one thing that could give him the answers he so dearly needed?

 

‘I AM, Max.’

 

 The voice startled him, and his hand jerked the steering wheel.  He scanned the area, while trying to right his vehicle.  Was he hearing things?

 

~~~

 

Max!” Isabel cried out in shock.  She clung to the dashboard as the car swerved away, inches from the shadowed ditch, which ran alongside the paved road.

 

Once Max regained control of the vehicle, Isabel settled back into her seat, her eyes glued to her brother.  “What was that?” she gasped.  Her heart was beating a hundred miles a minute.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said distractedly.

 

Isabel knew something had happened.  “Max, are you sure?”  She looked skeptically at her brother’s unassuring face.

 

“I just need to get home,” he dismissed.  “And then I’ll know what to do.”

 

Then he’ll know what to do? 

 

Isabel was getting worried about her brother.  His mind was somewhere else, more than usual, and she knew the weight of his decision was probably crushing.  She just prayed that somehow, amidst the craziness, he would find peace with himself.

 

~ * ~

 

As they were halfway home, Isabel’s gaze fell upon the blazing moon.  Though dawn was fast approaching, and the sky had begun to shed its cloak, to reveal its soothing blue undergarment, behind them, Isabel was distracted.  Her earlier vision, or memory, kept nagging at her.  Was she regaining her memories, just so she could return to Antar?

 

Unexpectedly out of the waning night, Isabel found her thoughts turning to something else.  It was a single word.  She had no idea what it referred to, but it was on the tip of her tongue.

 

Isabel felt herself falling into a trance.  Suddenly she whispered out loud, the name that haunted her.  “Yesha.”

 

~ * ~

 

“Princess Vilandra!”  A sweet melodic voice called her name.

 

She searched amassing crowd for the lone voice. 

 

“Princess!” the voice called again.

 

Her gaze fell upon a thin, pale girl, with jet black curls.  Her hair was pulled back into pigtails, though it appeared she had been fussing with them, as there were several strands out of place.  The child couldn’t have been more than five or six years old.  “Yes?” Vilandra replied gently, kneeling before the wisp of a child.

 

The little girl twisted her body nervously, from side to side, not expecting to catch her attention.  Her face was sallow, and undernourished; though her physical neglect was obvious, the child unabashed smile remained untouched.  Her eyes widened into big, round blue pools.  The blue was an unusual shade, Vilandra thought, with hints of lavender accenting the serenity of the soul behind them.

 

“What’s your name child?”

 

The girl was speechless.  Suddenly, her arms shot out from behind her to reveal a clump of straggly purple Darevil weeds.  The child’s face beamed, as Vilandra accepted the small gift.

 

To a child of her age, the weed was easily mistaken for a flower. 

 

Vilandra’s heart melted, as the girls face shone happily at her.  “Thank you.”  Vilandra pressed her lips against the little girl’s cool forehead.  “They are very beautiful, just like you.”

 

~ * ~

 

Screams echoed throughout the royal corridor as Khivar pulled her across the marble floor.  “You said you wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Vilandra hissed.

 

Khivar shrugged, as he pressed forward toward the inner courts.  “My soldiers are merely defending themselves my darling.”  He gestured to the rigid army of soldiers that marched ahead of them.

 

Vilandra frowned.  This wasn’t the peaceful meeting she had envisioned.  “You lied to me.”  She pulled out of his grip and ran down a narrow corridor, knocking out several soldiers with a forceful plasmic blast.  Khivar’s formidable voice echoed in her ears.  “Bring her back to me,” he commanded. 

 

The loud stomping of boots fell into a strong cadence trailed behind her, urging her on.  Vilandra searched the recess of her memory for the lay out of this wing of the palace.  She needed to get out.

 

“Stop!” a girls’ voice cried.

 

Vilandra’s pace slowed as she recognized the familiar voice.  “Yesha?”  She closed in on the sounds of struggle.  What she found was two soldiers grappling with a girl half their size. 

 

She stopped beneath the shadowed arch of the hall watching the men jostle the tiny child around, and jeer at the little girl.  When she was about to command them to stop, Yesha pulled a small dagger out of her sleeve.  The small girl plunged the knife into one of the soldier’s arm.  There was a loud feral cry from the injured soldier.

 

Confusion ensued; Yesha had been freed from the soldier’s grasp, but Vilandra looked helplessly on as the girl just stood there in shock.

 

After a moment, Vilandra finally found her voice.  Run Yesha!  Run!

 

The girl of twelve turned around to see Vilandra waving her away.  Her blue eyes shone in the brightness of the corridor lights.  “Princess Vilandra!” she cried out happily.

 

Yesha moved towards her, but Vilandra watched horrifically as the other soldier, who had not been wounded, loomed over her.  “Yesha!” Vilandra screamed in fear.

 

The girls’ bright blue eyes darkened in the confusion.  Her lips parted to speak, but instead of words, a loud withering gasp escaped her lips, as the soldier plunged her own dagger into her back.  Yesha’s face paled, and her tiny form crumpled onto the grey marble, enfolded in a sea of blue.

 

“Yesha!”  There were tears in her voice as she fell to her knees.

 

Suddenly a pair of hands pulled her onto her feet.  Khivar’s men had caught up with her.  As they pulled her back down the corridor, Vilandra’s gaze remained fixed upon the blue folds of Yesha’s velvet dress.  Unexpectedly, Vilandra’s gaze was drawn to a small mound of purple, which lay scattered across the floor. Beside her shimmering ebony locks, was a bouquet of Darevil.

 

~ * ~

 

Isabel’s hand fluttered to her throat, as her heart silently ached at the memory.  A flood of guilt rushed over her.  It had been her fault. 

 

She had thought her feelings of guilt had been assuaged when Michael and Max revealed to her that she hadn’t known Khivar’s plans, but now her guilt returned.  Her betrayal caused Yesha, and those she loved to fall at Khivar’s hands.  There was no denying it.

 

Isabel massaged her temples.  Fiachra was right. 

 

All must be atoned for.

 

 

 

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