Loving Destiny

 

Disclaimer:  These characters do not belong to me, but to the writers and producers of Roswell

Spoilers:  After Chant Down Babylon, changes happening where Max is successfully rescued, and Michael was the one who broke up with Maria.

Pairings:  You’ll have to wait and see!

Pronunciation Guide:  

Author’s notes:      Queen Fadilia Kedar: Max/Isabel’s mother

                                        King Alaric Kedar: Max/Isabel’s father

                                        Andaria: Tess’ mother

                                        Radim:  Tess’ father

                              Kedrans: race from which Royal Four descended

                                        Iturians: race from which Khivar descended, and overthrew and killed Zan and the Kedrans

 

 

 

Chapter Forty One

 

***

To endure is the first thing that a child ought to learn, and that which he will have the most need to know.

                                                                                                      - L. L. Bryson

***

 

 

“Y-y-you can’t be going,” Isabel stammered, stunned at the announcement.  She stared at Michael in disbelief.

 

His expression was solemn and unmoved.  Isabel had never seen Michael so resolute in any one decision he made in the past.  His eyes were fixed on hers as the rumble of individual voices rose in a loud symphony.

 

“What the hell are you talking about Michael?” Maria’s voice strained, as her mind reeled from the emotion of it all.  “You cannot be serious!”

 

The voices muttered amongst themselves and outright to Michael.  He had expected some sort of backlash because of his decision.  His ears rang with a cacophony of concerned opinions from his friends.  But one voice caught his attention.

 

Michael,” Max’s low calm voice cut through the swell of voices.

 

Maxwell,” he answered, his voice imitated Max’s serious undertone.

 

The various interspersed conversations in the room ceased.

 

“Why are you doing this?”  Max asked.

 

This was the last thing he was expecting from Michael.  His ideas always seemed to lack a serious train of thought.  They were always impulsive and radical.  Most of the time they never seemed to last the week; however, this time there was something different about Michael’s sudden declaration of independence.

 

“I’ve been slowly remembering things Max.”

 

“I haven’t heard you talk about these memories.”  Isabel frowned.

 

Michael looked over at Isabel.  “You’ve been busy with Jesse.”

 

Isabel flinched.

 

Michael sighed.  It had been a statement.  There was no hidden meaning or subtle jab aimed at the woman he loved.

 

“But Michael, what about your life here?” Liz asked in astonishment.  This was a night of surprises.

 

“Look, I care about you guys here.  It’s not that.”  Michael looked around, racking his brain, trying to figure out how to tell them.  “It’s…it’s just that I know where I’m supposed to be now.”

 

“So you’re going off into space?” Kyle asked incredulously.  “Aren’t you freakin’ out?”

 

Michael stifled a smile as the broad shouldered jock fell into his line of sight.  Oh, just giddy,” he said dryly.

 

“You haven’t answered my question,” Max interrupted.

 

Michael turned his attention back to their ‘fearless’ Leader.  “Like I said,” he sighed.  “I’ve been having flashbacks of our…my life on Antar.”

 

“Are you sure ‘someone’ wasn’t doing the remembering for you?” Kyle growled suspiciously.  After what he’d been through, he wouldn’t put it past Tess.

 

Michael narrowed his eyes and stalked over to his refrigerator.  “It started before that,” he said pointedly.  Grabbing a Grape Snapple, Michael let the coolness of the smooth bottle sooth him.  He would miss the Snapple…and Tabasco.

 

“I’ve been getting bits and pieces over the past year, but today it all seemed to come into focus.”

 

“Was Tess there to help you through it?” Maria asked sarcastically.

 

“Maybe you wanna let him talk,” Tess snapped.  Maria shot a withering glare at Tess, who returned the sentiment.

 

“I don’t need to think about it,” Michael said, bringing the focus back to his mysterious revelation.  “I’ve always known I don’t belong here.  I am different, and now I know why.”

 

“But you’ve known for two years,” Isabel countered, feeling the tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.  “You said that your place was here when you had a chance to leave before.”

 

Michael took a deep breath.  “There was a reason for me to stay last time, or so I thought,” he replied wistfully.  His eyes fell on Maria, who averted her gaze.  “But this time I have a reason to go.”

 

“And what is that?” Max asked.

 

“Our people.”  Michael met Max’s questioning gaze.  “I remember our people dying as Khivar pressed in on our last line of defense.  I remember how obsessed and fanatical Khivar was and is.  And I remember the blood.”

 

Silence filled the room.

 

“But the war is over and Khivar has complete control, not to mention an army he’s had a lifetime…no, our lifetime to build and train.”  Max shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.  “You’re going back to be slaughtered.”

 

“No,” Tess jumped in.  “The underground resistance has been biding its’ time.  The Loyalist army has slowly been gathering.”

 

“And Michael’s supposed to just take your word on that?”  Maria exclaimed grimly.  “You’ve set them up once before.”

 

“Maria shut up,” Michael grimaced.  “You don’t know what Tess did…”

 

Don’t I?” Maria yelled.  “Excuse me, but I was there when we found out Tess killed Alex!”  She couldn’t believe what Michael was saying.  It was like another person had taken over.  He was defending her.

 

“No you don’t!” Michael blurted out.  “You don’t know what she did or what she was thinking.”

 

“Michael,” Tess said through clenched teeth.  Don’t.”  They were getting extremely close to having to explain, and she knew she didn’t want that - not right now, or ever.

 

“Don’t what?” Liz frowned.  “Are you trying to hide something?”  She looked suspiciously at the petite blonde shell, which hid beneath it a conniving murderess. 

 

There was something between Michael and Tess, she was certain of it.  The two exchanged glances under her watchful eye.

 

Tess focused her attention on Liz.  “No.”

 

“This isn’t about Tess,” Michael growled, changing the subject.

 

“The hell it’s not!” Maria exclaimed shrilly.

 

Michael warned Maria with a glare, to stop interrupting.  His eyes burned with annoyance - tired of all the interruptions.  She stuck out her tongue and fell into the couch, making herself comfortable.

 

“Then what is it?” Isabel asked quietly.

 

Through all the ‘whys’ and what’s’, all Isabel could think of was standing outside on the balcony with Michael as he…they almost kissed.  Was it her fault?

 

As if he could read her mind, Michael spoke.  “This has nothing to do with any of you!  I just need to do this.  This is why I am here.  Antar is the reason I’m here on Earth.”

 

Again each of the small groups of various opinions began talking amongst themselves, when it was apparent that he would not change his mind.  “When are you leaving?” Max asked abruptly.

 

Everyone turned to face Max, stunned at the question, which voiced an unconscious acceptance of Michael’s choice.

 

Michael was equally stunned.  As he turned to look at Max, he set down his Snapple on the counter.  His brow furrowed as he tried to distinguish whether Max was truly accepting his decision so easily.  “In a few days.”

 

“He’s probably got enough time to tie up loose ends with everyone here – apartment lease, resignation at the Snapple factory,” Tess informed.  “I’ll need time to contact Andaria about Michael’s return too.”

 

Max turned to Tess.  “So you’ll settle for one out of the three,” he said distastefully.

 

“Well he’s chosen to face his duty and responsibility Max, rather than run scared, if that’s what you mean.”  Tess stared blankly at her former husband.  She couldn’t even muster enough emotion to accuse him anymore.  This was just how things were.  Her foremost thought was of Zander.  “I’m just glad not to be alone in this anymore.”  She glanced back at Michael, who nodded slightly, showing his brief, but welcome support.

 

Max swallowed.  He didn’t like this at all, but there didn’t seem like much he could do.  Michael always did what he wanted; he was stubborn that way.  And as much as he would have liked to lock both Michael and Isabel away somewhere, so he could keep an eye on them, in the past year and a half, he’d learned that he needed to let go.

 

If they chose their destiny, as he had said many times before, then there was no way he could force Isabel and Michael to stay by his side.  Either they had a destiny, which the Four were inextricably linked, or they chose their life – their destiny – on Earth for themselves, leaving the past behind.  If the latter was the case, didn’t Isabel and Michael have the right to choose their own path?  What right did he have to tell…order them to stay, as he had with Isabel a couple of years ago?  He was no longer a ‘King’… without his kingdom.

 

“If Isabel and I leave for a few days, do you think you could hold off on your departure until we return?” Max asked stiffly.

 

“What?” Isabel gasped.  “How can we go Max?  Michael’s leaving…for good.  And we’re going away?”

 

She looked frantically between Max and Michael.  As the minutes passed, her shock and disbelief turned into fear and panic.  This was not happening!

 

“I think we can hold off until you get back,” Tess replied softly.  She had no idea why she said that.

 

Max was behaving oddly.  She could see a change in him, when he seemed to realize Michael had chosen to leave for Antar.  Could it be…?

 

Tess closed her eyes, chiding herself for being so foolish.  Hoping for such things only had brought her heartache, but what Michael had said earlier about Max…she couldn’t help but wonder.  Had she seen in that brief flicker in his eye…regret?

 

“Why?” Michael asked curiously.  It didn’t seem like Max to give in so easily.  And now he was planning to continue his trip, expecting them to wait for his return.

 

“What?” Max frowned, snapping out of his own thoughts.

 

“Why do you want us to wait?” Michael answered.  “Why do you have to go now?”

 

Max thought about Michael’s question.  He wasn’t quite sure why.  He couldn’t pinpoint the driving force telling him to ‘go’.  As he searched the depths of his conscious, Max looked up at Michael and shrugged.  “I don’t know.”

 

Tess tilted her head at his response.  There was a familiar lilt in his voice.  She focused on Max’s face and the subtle nuances of his changing expressions.

 

When they had been together for the brief period of time on Earth, it was a past time she used to enjoy honing.  Most of the time, Tess would do it when he wasn’t looking or when he was asleep.  And just now, there was something in his eyes that made her heart race.

 

It was a feeling she had gotten whenever Max would speak to her as he remembered her.  His mind would be working overtime trying to process Zan’s memories of his life…and his life with her.  Could Andaria’s words still ring true?

 

“So you’re just going to let him go?”  Maria could believe what she was hearing.

 

“Things are changing fast and as much as we don’t like it,” Max sighed.  “We have to deal with it.”

 

“Since when did you get all enlightened?” Kyle joked.

 

No one laughed.

 

“Max how can you let Michael go like this?” Liz hissed, walking over to him and resting her hand on his chest.

 

His eyes drifted down to those big round pools.  “Don’t try to convince me,” he protested gently.  “Talk to Michael.  He’s the one who’s determined to leave for good.”

 

Max slid her hand down off his chest.  “If you are planning to leave soon, then Isabel and I should get an early start on our trip.” He looked over at Isabel, who looked thoroughly distraught.  “Unless you’ve changed your mind,” he addressed his sister.

 

Isabel managed to focus on her brother’s question.  “Uh…I…I don’t know,” she whispered as her gaze returned to Michael.

 

“I want to leave today, instead of tomorrow, in light of this news – maybe an hour?”

 

“You’re all nuts!”  Maria sighed as she sat listening to each of Max and Michael’s plans to leave.

 

“Max, remember you promised to come back.”  Liz looked anxiously at Max and then turned to Michael.  “I really wish you would reconsider?”

 

Michael smiled knowingly and shook his head.  “You’ll still have me around for a few days,” he offered lightly.

 

Liz nodded.  She couldn’t believe this was happening - first Max, now Michael?  Their whole group had fallen apart.

 

But while she hated to see Michael leave, he seemed to be at peace with the decision.  In a round about way, that made her understand.  He finally found his way.

 

“Well this has been fun guys and gals, but I gotta get home.”  Kyle stuffed his hands in his back pockets.  “Max…Isabel, have a good trip, see ya when you get back.  Michael,” he tugged his right hand out of his pocket, “I’ll see you before you…well, head off for the big unknown.”

 

Michael nodded, grasping Kyle’s hand in appreciation.  “Yeah.  I’ll see you around in the next couple of days,” he said casually, trying not to get all emotional.

 

Maria rose from the couch and stood in front of Michael, who never seemed to have a clue how she felt.  “So you’re just going to go…just like that?”  She snapped her fingers.

 

Michael was at a loss for words.  This woman had brought out a part of him that he didn’t know existed, a part of him that had been hidden away.  For that he would always appreciate her.  She always had her unconventional ways, but Michael knew that had been part of the attraction.  “I guess so.”

 

Maria could feel the tears welling up in her throat.  “You big jerk!” she choked on her tears.  “You’re not supposed to leave me like this.”  Now the tears began to fall from the corners of her eyes.  “You were supposed to fall madly in love with me and see what a jerk you’ve been and then I would dump you!”

 

It hadn’t been a perfect plan, but it had always made Maria feel better imagining the possibility of it happening.  She wasn’t quite sure why she told him this, but she didn’t seem to be in control anymore.

 

Michael wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.  He swallowed the lump in his throat at her joke, or semi-joke.  “Sorry to ruin the dream,” he teased half-heartedly.  He looked around at the ocean of faces that stared up at him, and then the lone crying woman.  He hated when women cried.

 

Liz couldn’t help but feel her friend’s heartbreak.  As big and tough a front her best friend put up, she was just a big teddy bear inside.  She loved Michael.  As much as she complained and was frustrated by the big lug, he was her first serious relationship.

 

Though it hadn’t stood a chance, looking back - they never did when all a person wants is to change the other person – Liz knew it was Maria’s first love.  As she came up behind Maria, she wrapped her arms around her best friend.  “It’s okay,” she whispered into her ear.

 

“C’mon,” Kyle smiled.  “I’ll take you two home.”

 

Liz smiled gratefully at Kyle for the discrete exit.  She nodded, following Kyle towards the apartment door.  Just as she was about to pass through the doorway, she remembered Max was leaving that day. 

 

Standing alone, he looked thoughtfully at her, as he watched the whole melodrama unfold.  Liz quickly turned on her heel, signaling to Kyle that she needed just a moment.  As she stood in front of Max, Liz kissed him briefly on the lips, wrapping her arms around his neck.  “I love you and am waiting for you to come home.”  With that she turned around and ran to catch up to Maria and Kyle.

 

~ ~ ~

 

The room seemed a lot less crowded after Kyle, Liz, and Maria left.  Tess had opted to remain quiet as she watched the despair and frustration at Michael’s decision and how that affected the group personally.  “So you’re leaving this afternoon?” she asked Max, whose eyes were glazed over.

 

Max blinked and turned towards Tess.  “What?”

 

“You’re leaving today?” she repeated.

 

Max nodded.  He looked at the watch and turned to Isabel. “We better get going.”

 

Isabel bit her lip.  “I just need to talk to Michael a second.”  She gestured for Michael to follow her out onto the balcony.

 

Max turned and faced Tess.  In a room that seemed overcrowded a minute ago, now seemed very empty.  So…”

 

Tess swallowed.  “I guess this is the way things are supposed to go, huh?” she mumbled.

 

He wanted to argue, tell her that this definitely didn’t feel right; but Max kept his mouth closed.  “Are you happy the way things turned out?”  There was a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.

 

Tess looked up at Max, who seemed lost.  He looked like the same confused and lost boy who found out that he was a king and destined to save his people from death, destruction and slavery.  Even when he fought and denied it back then, she always had a little bit of hope.  She smiled softly.  “I don’t think any of us is very happy Max.”

 

Max nodded slowly.  He had to agree with her there.  The scientists on Antar who genetically engineered them didn’t know what they were putting them through.  Two identities…two strong personalities pulling them in different directions – pulling him in two directions, it was a nightmare.  “I guess.  What will you do when you get back?”

 

“My mother says that it’s almost time to take a stand against Khivar.  She says we’ll receive a sign.”  Tess thought about her mother.  She wondered what she was doing right at that moment.  “She really believes we will win.”

 

Max shifted uneasily, his weight from one foot to the other.  The elegant frosted image of the pale woman remained with Max.  There was just something about her…he could feel the lifetime of strength within her.  “She could be right,” he offered.

 

Tess tilted her head to her right.  “She also believes that you will return, Max.”

 

~~~

 

She didn’t have much time to talk, but as she leaned against the balcony railing, the words would not come.  Finally, she turned around and faced Michael, who stood silently behind her.  “Michael, you aren’t leaving because of me, are you?”

 

Michael searched deep into those dark apprehensive pools of almost charcoal.  “No,” he sighed.  “It has nothing to do with you.”

 

Isabel leaned back against the railing, pressing the palms of her hands against the rough metal.  “You said you would stay with me,” she whispered, on the brink of tears.  “How am I supposed to be here without you?”

 

The question slipped from her lips, hovering between them.

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say Isabel.  I am Michael, but I’m also Rath.  I remember his memories and feel his feelings,” he explained softly.  “And somehow it feels right.”

 

“So you won’t have any trouble leaving?”

 

Michael took a step forward, grasping Isabel’s hands in his.  “Of course I’m going to have trouble leaving Izzy.  I’ve spent my whole life here.  How could it not be hard?”  His voice lowered, as he thought of living on Antar without Max or Isabel.  “Do you know how much I’ll miss you?”  He leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers.

 

Isabel looked up into his eyes and blinked.  “Then don’t go,” she cried.  “Please Michael.  I need you now.  With everything going on, I need you.”

 

His heart ached as she pleaded with him to stay.  Every part of him wanted to stay, accept that there might be a chance to be with her after all, but the image of her death flashed before him and he knew he had to leave.  He had to keep her and his people safe.  “I have to go, Izzy.  I can’t stay here, not when I know that Khivar has had a lifetime to wreak havoc and chaos on Antar.”

 

“You seem so sure of yourself Michael,” Isabel whispered as she searched past the façade of coolness and strength.  Usually, the deeper she searched, the rougher and stormier his emotions; but this time she found nothing but peace.  “You’re finally at peace about who you are, aren’t you?”

 

Michael lips curled and pulled away slightly to see her standing before him under the fading rays of the sun.  He nodded his head.  “For the first time Isabel, I know I’m doing the right thing,” he chuckled.  “It’s an amazing feeling.”

 

Isabel slipped her hands from within Michael’s and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her tear-laden face into his chest.  His strong arms squeezed her tightly around her chest.  After a moment, she pulled away, and rolled her eyes.  “I must look horrible,” she laughed, wiping away the tears.

 

“No,” Michael whispered, using his thumb to gently brush the remaining thin shining streaks under her eyes.  “You’ll always be beautiful to me.”  Isabel made a face and rolled her eyes.  Michael smiled.  He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips onto her forehead.

 

Isabel took a deep breath and exhaled as the warmth of his lips left her.  “You better still be here when we get back,” she warned, tucking a lock of her hair behind her left ear.

 

Michael smiled.  I promise.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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