Loving Destiny

 

Disclaimer:  These characters do not belong to me, but to the writers and producers of Roswell

Spoilers:  After Chant Down Babylon, changes happening where Max is successfully rescued, and Michael was the one who broke up with Maria.

Pairings:  You’ll have to wait and see!

Pronunciation Guide:   Lepter (Lep  ter)

Author’s notes:      Queen Fadilia Kedar: Max/Isabel’s mother

                                        King Alaric Kedar: Max/Isabel’s father

                                        Andaria: Tess’ mother

                                        Radim:  Tess’ father

                              Kedrans: race from which Royal Four descended

                                        Iturians: race from which Khivar descended, and overthrew and killed Zan and the Kedrans

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty Nine

 

***

All truth is not to be told at all times.

                                                                                                      - Thomas Fuller, M.D.

***

 

The time of truth had come.  Tess hadn’t expected it to come so soon.  Michael stood in front of her expectantly – half in curiosity and half in doubt – what could she possibly say to redeem herself?  Her truth didn’t absolve her; but neither would she stand condemned to brimstone nor fire in his eyes – she hoped.

 

Before she began, Tess took a long deep breath, ridding her stomach of the pesky unwanted butterflies, which unsettled her.  “Let me first say that I never meant to hurt any of you,” Tess said hesitantly.  As the glaring sun beat down on her, Tess felt like she was under a microscope; Michael stood there scrutinizing her every word and look.  “It all seemed so black and white when I got here.”

 

“What did?”

 

Tess looked up at Michael and licked her dry lips.  “What my purpose was.  Why I had to find you,” she explained.

 

Why was this so hard?

 

‘Because you’re afraid,’ a voice replied silently within her.

 

Tess swallowed the lump in her throat, folding her arms across her chest and turned her focus toward the wisps of soft white, painting the baby blue canvas that was stretched out before her.  “When I found you,” she sighed solemnly, “I had this image of how things would go.”  Turning around she looked wistfully at Michael, who stared at her blankly. 

 

“Nasedo told me it was human weakness to imagine the perfect fairytale ending.”  Biting her bottom lip, Tess lowered her eyes and began to kick at the dirt in front of her. 

 

“I thought once we were all together you would all realize our purpose and that we were needed on Antar.  And I would finally be reunited with My Love again.”  Tess felt her throat close at the memory of the hope she once had.  “But that didn’t happen.”

 

“But what has this got to with Alex?”

 

“You have to understand Michael that Nasedo did what he was commanded and trained to do,” Tess ignored the question, knowing she would answer it in time, “to prepare me for life back on Antar – to be Zan’s mate, to be Queen of Antar.”

 

“And with that came the memories and the understanding that when Nasedo found you three, we would return to Antar.  But when you didn’t know anything about Antar, who you were; and we knew we couldn’t push you guys into anything, so we waited.”

 

Tess felt Michael presence come from up behind her until he stood beside her.  “Waiting for the day you could trade our lives for yours?” he asked darkly.

 

Tess took a step back.  “No!” she cried out in astonishment and frustration.  “I didn’t know!  I didn’t know about…”  As she felt the tears welling up in her eyes, she squeezed them shut.  There was so much to explain and Tess didn’t know how to make him understand the months of lies, betrayal and the sudden dawn of understanding.

 

“About what?” Michael pressed her, turning to face her.  “You didn’t know what?”

 

Tess wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.  She shook her head refusing to answer his question.  They were getting ahead of the story.

 

“Nasedo told me about the deal he made with Khivar when we found you in Roswell,” she said, her voice catching in her throat.  Even she didn’t know she would use that information to extract a portion of her heart.  “By that time we both knew you guys refused to even consider life on Antar.”

 

“It had been a back up plan he had formulated behind my back, when he saw you were content in Roswell.”  Tess envisioned Nasedo’s determined and excited state when he began to reveal his plan, and how they didn’t need the three to come willingly.  “He did it to ensure at least one of the Royal Four would survive and one day restore Antar to its former glory,” she explained.  “He would then work with the other rebel Antarians to ensure my placement on the throne.”

 

“Sounds like a ‘good plan’ for you,” Michael scoffed.

 

His words stung, though misguided.  “I told him I would never return to Antar on those terms,” Tess declared angrily.  My life on Antar began I met Zan and ended the day he died.”

 

Tess felt his eyes burrowing into her.  “That isn’t how you described it to Max,” Michael retorted.  He looked at her conspicuously.  “You did it for you.  Why are you backtracking now?”

 

Here was the hard part – undoing the trust Michael had put in the lies she had weaved.  “I lied Michael,” Tess blurted out.  “I lied to Max, you, and Isabel.  I didn’t fill in the grey parts in your theory about how Alex died because it wouldn’t have served my purpose.”

 

Michael’s eyes narrowed.  “What purpose was that?  And what could you possibly have to fill in?” he asked skeptically.  “You mindwarped Alex to translate the book and then killed him when he realized what you were doing.”

 

“That’s not everything,” she said quietly.  “In fact that’s not even close to being everything…and you know it.”

 

Michael tilted his head and licked his lips.  “What else is there?”

 

“There’s everything before that night and the fact that everything isn’t always black and white, right Michael?”

 

Michael became quiet, while his eyes remained fixed on her.  He nodded and signaled for her to go on.  Tess bent down, rubbing her thighs.  She was getting tired of standing.

 

“Well,” Tess continued.  “I won’t deny the fact that I did mindwarp Alex in the beginning.”  She looked up at Michael whose body stiffened at the verbal admission.  “But it wasn’t for the reason Liz or Max assumed.”

 

“I asked Alex to translate the book just before school let out for the summer.  He agreed to do it during his spare time.  Alex said the best and nearest place he could think of for translation would be Las Cruces and that he could get into the university on different pretenses.”  She paused to see if Michael believed what she was saying.  His demeanor was rigid, but he still seemed to be listening.  “But I wanted it kept a secret,” Tess explained.

 

“At first, it was just not telling anyone what we were doing, but then it got a little harder and Alex didn’t want to lie to anyone.”

 

“Why did it need to be a secret?” his voice growled.

 

“You three didn’t want to have anything to do with returning to Antar and I had been in contact with Khivar,” she admitted.

 

“See!” Michael exclaimed, as if she had just admitted some truth that couldn’t quite be proven until now.  “Why would you need Khivar if you didn’t plan to betray us like you did?”

 

Tess raised her arm in front of her, blocking out the rays of the sun.  She closed her eyes, hoping to shut the brightness of the light and truth of the past.  “Things were all right in the beginning when he didn’t know,” she explained. “But when Alex was stuck during one part, he came over to the house and heard me talking with Khivar.  I knew he was having troubles and I was getting the key to the Antarian alphabet.  Well, he freaked.  He refused to help me anymore.  That was the first time I mindwarped Alex.”

 

Michael looked at her with disgust.  She turned away instinctively as if blocking some invisible blow.  Tess knew it had been a mistake to trust Khivar, but she had only one goal back then – returning to Antar, with or without them.  “I thought at least I would be able to return to Antar once I had the book translated.”

 

“But why would Khivar help you if there wasn’t something in it for him?” he demanded.

 

Tess furrowed her brow and wrung her hands.  Once more she wiped the sweat that had begun to trickle down her cheek.  “He said that he would help me if I helped him get the ‘seal’.  I had sworn that I wanted nothing to do with the throne and that he didn’t have to worry the Royal Four.  All I wanted was to be taken care of in luxury.  Khivar told me that he would believe my claim if he had proof.  He ranted about how the people would never truly believe he was King until he obtained the ‘seal’,” she paused at the memory of the biggest mistake she had ever made, “so I agreed.”

 

“You made a pact with the Devil,” Michael whispered, as he closed his eyes and turned his back on her.

 

“I know it was the biggest mist…” she began to apologize, but Michael stopped her.  “Don’t.  Just tell me the rest,” he ordered in an eerily calm voice.

 

Tess bit the inside of her cheek and found the place where she had left off in her story.  “Well I still needed Alex, so I mindwarped him into believing he was going on this Sweden, when in fact he would be at Las Cruces to de-crypt our language.  I sent made-up postcards to Liz and Maria, and even gave him a girlfriend.”  She ran her fingers through her damp locks, wet from her sweat.  “But I couldn’t keep up the mind control.  It drained too much energy from me.”

 

“Aw, poor baby,” Michael retorted.

 

Tess ignored his snide remark.  “When Khivar realized that this would be a problem for both him and me, he told me he had the ‘perfect solution’,” she shuddered, remembering the look on Khivar’s sallow translucent face.  She should have known it was a mistake.  She should have trusted her gut feeling about this ‘perfect solution’.

 

“And?”

 

Michael’s voice startled her as she wallowed in pool of eternal regrets she would carry with her to her grave.  “Uh,” Tess hedged, “Khivar said that he had developed a way for him to control Alex for extended periods of time.”

 

“How?” Michael demanded.

 

“He said the word or name ‘Pilan’” Tess answered, hoping the name was correct.  Of course now, she wished she had never heard it at all.  “I went along with it, having no idea exactly what kind of devastation it would bring.”

 

“So you let a madman, who killed you – all of us – use some known power on Alex?”

 

Tess knew now it had been thoughtless and stupid, but back then, she had nothing to lose.  In hindsight, Tess wished she had known how much she would have to lose.  “Yes,” she said barely above a whisper.

 

“And this is what killed him?  This ‘Pilan’?”  Michael barked, grabbing her by the shoulders.

 

Tess shook her head.  “We’ve barely skimmed the surface,” she replied, flinching under Michael’s strong hands.

 

Michael pushed her away as if touching her would leave some offensive stain on his hands.  “Go on.”

 

“Khivar needed a host for the procedure, or whatever you want to call it.”  Tess swallowed, trying to whet her dry mouth. “So I allowed him to use me,” she explained.

 

Michael’s eyes widened and Tess could read the disbelief and shock Michael felt, on his face.  He let out an inaudible cry of astonishment.  Tess closed her mind to his reactions and continued on in her explanation, fearing if she stopped now, she would never tell the truth.  “When he was in me it was like I was put in a box, locked away,” she explained, squirming at the memory.  “I could watch him controlling me, but could do nothing.”

 

“Alex struggled against him, but he was too strong.  Khivar held his hands against the sides of Alex’s head and a strange red light pulsated from his hands.  Alex stopped moving.”  Tess watched Michael turn away from her as she described what she remembered.  “His eyes glazed over into these black orbs, and when he was finished, it was like some demon possession you see in the movies had taken place – his sole purpose was now to translate the book.”

 

“And you didn’t feel the need to stop him?”

 

“I didn’t think it would be permanent.  I didn’t think it would hurt him,” Tess protested as unwanted tears began to form once more.  “Khivar said that once he released him, Alex wouldn’t remember a thing.  Or at least Alex wouldn’t remember what we didn’t want him to.  Other than that, he would be the same Alex.”  Tess tried to hide the regret behind a stoic face.

 

“He was lying,” Michael said incredulously.  “But you couldn’t see that could you?  You couldn’t see past your own selfish plans.”

 

His controlled rage made her more than uneasy.  Tess was used to Michael’s outbursts, but his simmering thoughts were always a sign that he couldn’t express the anger he had, into words.  She debated whether to cut the intense dialogue short and escape from the hounding heat of the day.  “The heat is getting unbearable here, maybe we should finish this later?” she suggested, uncomfortably.

 

The tall blonde shook his head and stared at her with an intense determination.  We’re not leaving until I hear all of it!” Michael stated.  “You’re not walking away from this.”

 

Tess closed her eyes and pressed her long fingers against her forehead.  Her head was troubling from the heat and dehydration.  Tess attempted to moisten her dry lips, licking them several times.  The glare of the sunlight blinded her and the barren wasteland before her, with few signs of life, became hazy and unfocused.  She tried to shake it off, but stumbled back, feeling lightheaded and thirsty.  “Can we at least go somewhere out of the heat?” she asked warily.  “I’m not feeling extremely well and I don’t think getting heatstroke would do us any good.”

 

Michael was silent, though his eyes remained locked on hers.  “Fine.”  He nodded and motioned for her to head towards the cliffs.  “We’ll talk in the cave.”

 

“I need water,” she hedged.  After talking for what seemed like hours, Tess felt like her throat was on fire.  She wouldn’t be able to speak so much as another sentence without soothing her throat.

 

Michael agreed reluctantly.  “I’ve got a couple of bottles in the jeep.”

 

Tess smiled appreciatively and began her journey to the secret caves.  Slowly making her way up the copper-toned slope that stretched out before her.  Tess was grateful that she had this time to sort of the rest of her thoughts – memories of that night – as she carefully chose her steps to the caves.  Just as she thoughtfully chose her steps, Tess knew she had to be careful of her words.  The next steps were crucial – it would decide whether Tess could trust Michael, it would decide whether she had another ally.

 

~~~

 

His head swam with images of Alex’s always-optimistic face. 

 

‘How much pain were you in?’ Michael asked silently. I’m sorry we put you through this.  Michael sent up the remorse-filled apology, knowing it would never be heard.

 

As he hastily grabbed the warm clear plastic bottles that lay sprawled on the floor of the jeep.  Michael couldn’t help but curse Tess’ naiveté, if that was all it truly was.  Tess was always this chameleon, Michael had thought.  She blended in with her surroundings and no one noticed her movements until it was too late.  But somewhere deep inside, maybe it was Rath’s memory, but Michael knew Tess’ betrayal still didn’t make sense.  She had Max.  Even with all her talk about Antar, he knew being with Max was her greatest goal. 

 

Max hadn’t turned to Tess because she manipulated him either.  There had already been a rift between Liz and Max since she slept with Kyle.  Alex’s death was just another reason for Max to understand the true depth of the canyon that had always separated ‘them’ from the humans.

 

Michael glanced up at the flat plateau that jutted out from underneath the looming peak.  Tess’ blonde locks shone in the rays of the round star, as she waited patiently for him.  He took one last deep breath before the continued onslaught of her words.  He would finally have the ‘answer key’ to the puzzle that was Alex’s death. 

 

After they had made themselves comfortable, she had explained that Alex had finished translating the book when Khivar’s hold on him was waning.  Alex would slip in and out of consciousness.  Apparently Khivar’s plan wasn’t quite perfected and he had to possess her again. 

 

~~~

 

“…And I caught a glimpse of something before Khivar left my body,” Tess said stiffly.  She leaned her head back as she sat with her back against the welcoming chill of the smooth white chamber walls.  The soothing clear liquid slid down her throat with ease as she lifted the bottle to her lips once more.  Even though the water was warm, Tess didn’t care.  It had brought with it a renewed strength to her tired aching body.

 

“Khivar had hidden it well, but as he was leaving my body, he must have been over-confident in his plans, because I finally saw the truth,” she explained.  “I realized he had kept something from me.”  Tess recalled the image that had been burnt into her mind for all eternity since that summer night. 

 

Khivar was standing triumphantly over Max’s limp body.  In his hand hovered a ball of light, the size of a quarter; that shone with an unusual intensity.  His slips curled into an ugly grin and then his mouth opened and the echo of his low, throaty laugh sounded, reverberating throughout her soul and body.  No one shall challenge me now – not even the Royal Four.”

 

“Tess?” Michael called her name as he had watched her fall into a semi-like trance.  Her eyes darkened – a grey dense mist moved – and hid the once piercing blue pools.  “What did you see?”

 

Tess closed her eyes, unable to produce the words to describe her worst fears.  Focusing on reaching out to Michael, once she made contact, Tess revealed Khivar’s hidden secret.

 

Michael opened his eyes and locked eyes with Tess.  “What was he holding?” he frowned.

 

The all-important question – the secret that Khivar knew could make her walk away from all of it.  “He planned on extracting the ‘seal’ from Max all right,” Tess said through clenched teeth.  “His only condition.”  She wished she could wrap her fingers around his scrawny throat and choke the grin from his smarmy face.  The only consolation she took was the fact that if she played her cards right, one day she would look down on his limp body instead of Max’s.

 

Finally Michael understood what Khivar had planned.  Max had the seal inbred within his genetic make-up.  Michael recalled from Rath’s memories that the seal was bestowed within the true King of Antar.  Only death would separate the two.

 

As he began to pace back and forth, Michael asked curiously.  “So you weren’t planning to deliver up Max on a silver platter?”

 

Tess let out a gasp of horror.  “NO!” Her tongue flicked out and quickly ran across her upper lip.  As she pushed herself up from the floor, Tess sent up a quick prayer – asking for understanding on Michael’s part. 

 

“If I had known…” her voice trailed off as she imagined how different her life would have been if she had never made the deal with Khivar.  Tess cleared her throat, continuing her train of thought.  “If I had known, I would have found some other way of getting us home.”

 

Michael looked down on Tess as her long dark lashes hooded the regret in her eyes.  He felt pity for her.  How many mistakes had she made?  How many times did she justify her alliance with Khivar for her picture perfect life?  And then, to see it all crumble?

 

“But that isn’t the whole story, there is more?” Michael said knowingly.  Because remembering the past, Tess had continued her pursuit of returning to Antar with Max, even after she found out the truth.

 

“If you knew all of this, then why did you kill Alex?  Why seduce Max so you would get pregnant?”

 

Michael’s words made the hackles on her neck stand up on end.  Tess glared at him defiantly.  “That wasn’t what happened.”

 

Michael stopped pacing and studied this woman who weaved lies seamlessly, as well as a spider could weave a silk web.  In the light of the day, it shone, attracting those who followed the gleam of its threads, but in the end, it always ended the same.

 

The knowledge that Khivar deceived her did not change the fact that Alex was still dead.

 

Tess could see Michael’s mind churn and his eyes darken with suspicion and doubt.  “Michael listen to me,” she pleaded, grasping the ragged black t-shirt he was wearing.  “Please.  I found out that he wanted to kill Max and I tried to find a way out.  Even though I was disgusted at the thought of Liz and Max being together, I never wanted him dead.”

 

Now she was the one who began to pace.  “Khivar didn’t know I knew, so I was one step ahead of him and I had to keep it that way.”  Tess began to ramble, allowing the truth she had kept concealed under lock and key to pour forth.  It was like someone was slowly taking the weights off the barbell she had been shouldering for a year and a half.

 

“Alex was again under Khivar’s mind control, so I had to waited it out during the summer, keeping a watchful eye on Alex.”  She stopped pacing and looked at Michael steadily in the eye.  “I was counting on the fact that his mind control would fail again…which it did.”

 

“Khivar wanted to control him again, but I told him I saw no reason to do that.”  Tess wrung her trembling hands.  “I told him our plan was working, and that I just needed time to fulfill the rest of our deal – handing Max over to him.”

 

Michael was stunned at what she was telling him.  He couldn’t imagine what it was like.  As Tess continued with her explanation, he wished the story could have moved at a more rapid pace.  His muscles tensed at the havoc Khivar wreaked in their lives even now.

 

“I thought maybe a little time and Alex would be all right,” Tess sighed.  “I thought once I got him away from the mind control his mind would heal from the effects of Khivar’s newfound powers.”  She paused running her fingers through her hair. 

 

“But I had no idea how bad it was.  No idea.”

 

Alex had been disoriented, confused and frightened.  She had thought things would be in control once the mind control had faded, but Alex would soon fill her in on some of the things she didn’t know about her horrible alliance with Khivar.  Tess’ dreams were fraught with memories of that night.

 

“Pilan.  Pilan.”  Alex kept mumbling that name over and over again.  “It’s pointless…just pointless.  All of it.  Soon it will be all over.”

 

“Alex, get a hold of yourself,” Tess cried out frantically. 

 

She watched Alex pace back and forth cradling his head.  When Tess wrapped her arms around his neck and held him, hoping his spasming body would relax and stop its nervous pacing, she whispered into his ear.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”  The trembling, which shook his body lessened, and Alex pulled away from her looking at her for one serene moment, as if he understood.

 

When she entered Alex’s mind it was all a jumble, and his thoughts were lost in a huge cornucopia of voices and memories.  Where the memories should have been compartmentalized, they were intermingled and a dark foreign body seemed to be just sitting there. 

 

As she wandered the confused boundaries of his mind, Tess found a child, no more than 10 years old, huddled in a corner.  His knees were hugged tight to his chest and his head tucked protectively behind them.  “Alex?”

 

He didn’t answer.  The scared boy rocked himself back and forth mumbling incoherently.

 

“I’m here to help,” Tess whispered tenderly, as she crouched down and stroked his dark matted hair.

 

The child-like Alex peeked out and their eyes locked.  “Please,” he begged, tears running down his cheek.  “Make him stop!”  His eyes moved past her and cringed at the chaos that run rampant in his mind.

 

Tess followed his gaze to the center of the chaos.  In the middle of the images, loud voices, memories, Tess saw a dark silhouetted figure resting in the madness.  From his hands, which were resting, as if he were sleeping, ran strings from his fingers, which seemed to be able to pull, twist and manipulate whatever was attached to it.  When she followed the strings down the floor, Tess saw another figure.  It was Alex.  An older version, similar to the Alex she had grown to know and love.  He was sitting, hunched over a pile of papers and text.

 

As she made her way over to him, she touched his shoulder, capturing his attention for just a moment.  Alex’s dull eyes looked right through her.  “Tests…that all we are.  Test subjects,” he mumbled.  But then his eyes glazed over and focused back on the disheveled pile of papers.  “Back to work.  Must work.”

 

Khivar’s control had been released, but chaos ensued in Alex’s mind.  Each set to a task, but no one to reign in the workers.  His mind, which had once worked as one, had been dismantled and dark confusion settled in Alex’s mind.  There was no longer any control, and no one seemed to have a way to fix it.  Tess knew she certainly didn’t have a way to undo the damage Khivar had wreaked.

 

“Please,” a tiny voice called from behind her.

 

Tess looked back at the child, who was a part of Alex, and swallowed uneasily.  But she couldn’t leave him in this state.  Helpless, Tess did the only thing she could possibly think of; she helped pick up the pieces and tried to piece together the shattered mind, a mind that Khivar’s ‘solution’ had so aptly destroyed.

 

“There was nothing I could do.” Tess’ voice cracked, as she finished describing the state she had found Alex in.  “All I could try to do was stumble along putting memories where I though they should be, trying to piece together his psyche again.  I did the best that I could.”  She looked helplessly at Michael.  How could she have known?

 

“The rest of his mind, well I didn’t know what to do with.  After clamoring in that broken place for truth – a place to rest – they got lost somehow.  He just couldn’t hold onto all of it anymore after the damage.”

 

“But how did he come back from his ‘vacation’ and no one noticed any difference?” Michael was confused.  “Other than his ‘complete life changing experience’, he was the same Alex?  He didn’t seem ‘broken’?”

 

Tess looked up shamefully at Michael.  “I managed to heal some of his mind, I mean, to the best of my ability,” she explained.  “I made him forget the pain and the agony.  Along with pictures and souvenirs of an imagined trip that I planted in his mind, I added several new memories as well, where old ones had abandoned him.”  Tess watched Michael as he frowned.  “I had to -- for both our sakes.  It was like a bandage, under which his mind would hopefully mend.  And I thought I had really done it – healed him.  But what Khivar had done, I didn’t know how to undo.”

 

Tess remembered the night of the prom.  She thought everything was going to be okay.  Alex seemed to be on the mend.  He and Isabel were having an amazing time.  It seemed like she could possibly forget the horrible mistake she had made, that maybe it wasn’t irreversible.  Tess had hope that night.  Max even remembered her that night.  He remembered their first kiss.

 

She blinked away the few new tears that had begun to form in the corners of her eyes.  “I really thought it was going to be all right…” her voice went soft and caught in her throat again.

 

Michael thought he was going to be ill.  He couldn’t imagine what Alex had gone through, the pain the torment of it all.  And it was all because of them.  He couldn’t just pin it on Tess, though she had large part to play, but all of them.  If they had never been buried on this planet, if Max had just stuck to their plan of remaining ‘uninvolved’.  Michael let out a loud sigh; overwhelmed by the cost Alex had paid so that another world could be saved.

 

“And then what?” he asked, leaning against the pale white walls.

 

“I planned on stalling Khivar as long as possible,” Tess explained, tiredly.  “I told him I needed Max to come willingly.  If he suspected anything then it wouldn’t be easy to convince him to give up the seal.  And back then Max didn’t really want to have much to do with me.  It didn’t seem likely he would trust me easily or ever, so I thought we were all safe.”

 

“But then?”  He knew it was coming.  Alex wasn’t all right.

 

“The healing of a mind is a fragile thing, especially a…human mind,” Tess choked out.  “And Alex’s mind had been through too much.  And even with the healing that I had tried to perform, it…”  She couldn’t finish the sentence.

 

It had all been such bad timing.  Khivar had contacted her and was demanding a time frame on her arrival with the three.  She was about to make some lame excuse, when Alex burst in. 

 

Alex was berating her about knowing what she had done and that he was about to tell everyone about it.  He was unraveling before her.  She could see it in his eyes.  He began to rambling on about things she had hoped he had forgotten.  And his hysteria was growing. 

 

“That’s when Kyle came in. Just as I was about to enter Alex’s mind again and try to mend things as I had before Khivar somehow opened a portal and decided to claim Alex as a host so he could deal with him personally,” Tess explained.  She closed her eyes and her chest caved as the images played over in her mind again.  “Khivar assumed Alex’s body, which hadn’t been properly prepared and before I could do anything, he knocked Kyle out.”

 

“But what about Alex?” Michael reminded her of the goal of recalling the past.  “What did Khivar do to him?”

 

Michael watched her take another sip out of the bottled water she held in her hand.  The corners of her eyes crinkled and her lips spread into a wistful smile.  “Khivar seemed like he was in control, but in the early minutes of the possession, somehow, Alex seemed to find a way to keep some level of consciousness while Khivar struggled to possess his body.  He fought him tooth and nail,” she whispered, letting out a reluctant chuckle. “I tried to help him in everyway I could.  I tried to hold his mind together, but there was just no room for me.  I thought I reached him for a moment, grasping at straws when it came to his mind being slowly erased.  I felt him; Alex was determined not to be beaten.”

 

Tess remembered seeing Alex one last time before Khivar beat his mind into submission.  His eyes sparkled, and he had this wry grin on his lips as if to say ‘there was no possible way he would win’.  But then the fear – fear that invaded every facet of his soulful eyes – overshadowed him.  Khivar had been stronger; and he won.

 

Michael frowned at her description of the events that had taken place.  He had but one question.  “How did Khivar get here, let alone contact you?  We had the stones and you needed all four to make them work.”

 

Tess paused and looked at Michael in confusion.  “Didn’t I explain that?”  She recalled the past few hours of conversation, trying to remember if she had gone into detail about those meetings.

 

Michael shook his head.  “No.”

 

While her mind was swimming in details of the past, Tess furrowed her brow and rested her forehead against her slender fingertips.  “There’s just so much I have to get through,” she sighed.  Swallowing the last bit of water she had, Tess looked up at Michael and began to explain the missed detail.

 

“Khivar had sent me a private communicator, which was very similar to the ones you have, but with the ability to work without the other three stones.  It was less powerful than the four, but it suited our purposes.”  Tess rolled her shoulders back, as they were tight and aching.  She ran her fingers over the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension that had built up during their conversation.

 

“So you were communicating with him that night with that stone?”

 

Tess nodded.  “Yes.”

 

Michael didn’t understand why Khivar didn’t just open a portal, like he had seen him do on Isabel’s honeymoon and snatch Max away, if he wanted the seal so much.  He didn’t quite understand why Khivar went to so much trouble to manipulate Tess and have her kill Alex.

 

He turned his back on her.  Even though Tess was explaining everything she knew, it didn’t mean he didn’t have more questions and want more answers.  According to Tess’ story, Khivar seemed to know exactly what he was doing, and he didn’t seem surprised that Alex showed up that night – a mess.

 

“So he took over and then what?” Michael asked, getting back to the events of that night.

 

“Well,” Tess paused, “Khivar told me though Alex, that this problem had been taken care of and that this should speed up the process of Max’s return to Antar.”

 

“Why would he think that?”

 

Tess swallowed hard; her throat had become dry again.  “Because he knew all about Liz and Max.  And being the strategist that he is, Khivar deducted that this would lead to dissension between Liz and Max,” she explained slowly.  “And it did.”

 

It made some small semblance of sense, but still there were unanswered questions.  “But what about Kyle?  What about his memories?” Michael pushed on.

 

“Just wait,” Tess balked.  “I haven’t gotten there yet.”

 

“Well then,” Michael frowned.  “Get there!”  He didn’t know how much more tension and detail he could take.  He also still didn’t know whether he could trust all of her information.  While it seemed plausible, why wouldn’t she have told them this before?

 

“When Khivar had taken care of Alex’s memories, he said the timeframe for Max, Isabel, and your return should have sped up by this one action.”  Tess pulled her hair back into a ponytail, only to let it fall to her shoulders again, for lack of an elastic band.  “I asked him how erasing his memories would do this, but Khivar only grinned,” she explained.

 

Even though Khivar possessed Alex’s body and face, she could remember thinking how unlike Alex, Alex looked.

 

“And what did he mean?”

 

Tess couldn’t look Michael in the eye when she told him this scene of Alex’s death.  “Khivar was being vague and told me to make it look like an accident when it was all over.  And then he said he was giving me a month give or take a couple of weeks to fulfill our deal or he would do it himself, in a less subtle way.”  She closed her eyes as she fought the urge to scream. 

 

“I watched him transfer himself his conscious into Kyle’s unconscious body.”  Tess moved away from Michael and towards the entrance of the Granolith chamber.  “Since Alex’s body hadn’t been prepared for possession, his…body and mind…well, went into shock when Khivar exorcised himself,” her voice became hoarse from the mix of tears and scratchy throat.  “I caught him as he fell to the ground.”

 

“No!” she cried, cradling Alex’s head.  “You bastard.  I could have prepared his body for the exit.”

 

Khivar frowned and clucked.  “But that wouldn’t have served my purpose!”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Well if you did that…he wouldn’t be dead,” Khivar explained casually.

 

Tess lifted her hand to blast Khivar, but he frowned.  “Uh-uh,” he laughed.  “You don’t want two friends dying in the same night do you?”

 

Through her tears, Tess cried out in agony.  She wanted to hurt him so much.  “You’ll pay for this,” she sobbed, caressing Alex’s face.  Leaning down she pressed her forehead against his.  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

 

“No time to cry.  A deal’s a deal.”

 

Tess looked up at Khivar and grabbed a nearby mug.  Through her rage, she clenched her teeth and threw it at his head with all of her might, but missed.  “What deal?” she growled.  “This wasn’t part of any deal!”

 

“Now Ava,” Khivar frowned.  “Are you really going to cry over this mass of living cells?” He walked over to where she was kneeling and smiled.  “Or should I say dead?”  His right brow arched at the pun.

 

“You need to realize what is at stake here Ava.”  Khivar’s expression became serious.  “Are you going to let this dead mass ruin your plans to live happily ever after with Max on Antar?  Because I have to say, if you are, then I’m fairly disappointed in you.  I thought you were made of tougher stuff.”  He paused.  “I thought you were willing to do what it takes to make it all happen.”

 

“Well you were wrong,” she cried out angrily.

 

Khivar’s eyes gleamed, and he grabbed her arm roughly.  “Well that’s not acceptable for me Ava.  I made a deal with you and I…we are so close to having everything we dreamed of,” he sneered.  “And having Max is what you wanted…isn’t it?”

 

“Yes,” she sniffled.  They were all lies, but if Khivar suspected anything, it would be over for all of them.

 

“Well then, I’ve given you the perfect opportunity haven’t I?” Khivar smiled.  “And the gentleman I am, I won’t make you get your hands dirty with the other part of the ‘solution’.”

 

Tess turned around sharply and met Michael’s clouded eyes.  “Khivar took Alex’s body and transferred it into his car, and made the whole thing look like an accident.  Kyle, in a way, did help put Alex’s body into the car, but it wasn’t part of this big plan of mine,” she sobbed.  “I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t even think that this was happening. He drove off in Alex’s car and when he returned, Khivar told me now the stage has been set for me to comfort Max and gain his trust.  I didn’t know what he meant.  I didn’t know what he had just done.”  Her whole body was shaking.  She had felt this dread over her when he had returned on foot. “After that he exited through the portal, and all I could do was catch Kyle’s body when it spit him out.”

 

“I sat there for what seemed like hours, cradling Kyle’s unconscious body.  He was healthy and nothing seemed to be touched other than just the shock of it all.  He didn’t remember a thing.”  Tess coughed from the dryness of the air and her extended use of her vocal chords.  “And then everything was a blur when all of you found out he was dead.  I was numb during the whole thing.  I still couldn’t believe it.”

 

Michael didn’t imagine he could hate the alien more, but he was wrong.  He saw red.  The psychotic alien with a God complex would have a long, painful, torturous death.

 

“When Valenti called all of us together, I knew they had found Alex,” Tess said, wincing at the memory.  “I didn’t have a hard time acting surprised when he told us that there had been a car accident.  I had no idea Khivar had been so deceptive.”

 

“When Max went into that van with Alex’s body, I prayed that he would heal Alex.  I just wanted to be wrong about the whole thing.  I hoped it was just me, who couldn’t heal his body and mind.  But when he came out, I knew from his face that he was unable to revive him.  From then on things went from bad to worse.”

 

“What do you mean?”  Michael didn’t understand how things went bad to worse.  How worse could it get, than Alex dying?

 

“After my outburst when Alex died, Khivar was livid.  He was more cautious than ever when talking to me,” she explained.  Tess knew none of this excused her behavior, but at least they would know that she hadn’t planned it; she didn’t kill him.

 

“How was it worse for you?  Khivar wouldn’t hurt you, he still needed you according to your story.”

 

Tess sighed.  It had been her greatest hope in the past, but now it had turned into her greatest fear.  “Max and me.  It was worse because Max finally remembered me before Alex died.  You don’t know how long I dreamed of that moment; for him to look at me with those beautiful eyes again and really see me.”

 

“But when they ‘split’ up, it wasn’t because of me or his love for me, it was because Khivar planned it and I had to comfort him because it was in his ‘design’.”

 

“No one was forcing you to be there, pushing them apart, Tess,” Michael declared.  “You could have told us the truth.  We could have worked it out.”

 

“Because you guys were always so accepting of me, even without my hurting Alex and deal with Khivar,” she said cynically.

 

“Still,” Michael sighed, understanding her skepticism.

 

 “Yes I could have,” Tess darkly, “but if I hadn’t done it my way, Max or the rest of you, would never have had a chance to survive.  The other option would have led Khivar to invade Earth to hunt down and kill Max, you and Isabel.”

 

Michael shook his head and frowned. “What are you talking about?”  Again he was hit with another twist to the story.  “Where did this invasion idea come from?” he asked.

 

“From this same communicator Khivar had given me, another transmission came.  The person on the other end of the transmission told me that I needed to stall for time.”

 

“Who was this guy and why did he contact you?”

 

“He was from the Loyalist army, as I later found out from my mother.  His name was Lepter,” Tess said.  “She had wanted me to stall for time, so that she and the Loyalists could route this army Khivar was building, and locate the hosts he planned to possess on Earth to complete the mission.”

 

“It didn’t seem like a hard thing to ask.  All I had to do was stall, while making it look like I was manipulating Max closer to me.”  Tess knew now it had been a mistake.  She should have known she couldn’t keep her feelings for Max in check.  While she was pretending to draw closer to Max, pretending to lure him into ‘their trap’, Tess was falling in love with him all over again.  It was inevitable when they were together at the observatory, and Max felt closer to her than he had ever felt before, that she would cave.

 

“But…”

 

Tess looked up and she could feel the blood rushing to her face.  “But I let him in, when I swore I wouldn’t, I made love with him at the observatory,” she said, ashamed at her weakness.  “I sealed his fate and mine that night.”

 

“What do you mean?” Michael asked wearily.  There was so many hidden and vague clichés.  He just wanted her to stop dancing around what she was about to say, and just blurt it out.

 

“If I hadn’t let him in, Khivar’s plan would have been in vain.  By the time he realized I knew and was never going to fulfill my end of the bargain, my mother’s army would have foiled his invasion scheme and Max would have been safe,” she said ashamed.  “But I did let him in and I became pregnant.  And because I was, this gave Max even more reason to be with me and not fight when I brought up Antar.”

 

“Why would you bring up Antar?” Michael asked.  If she had wanted to stall, she wouldn’t have told Max about the baby at all.  And if it was because of Khivar, who said he had to know?

 

Tess could read the confusion on his face.  She knew what Michael was thinking.  “Lepter contacted me again the morning after I realized I was pregnant, telling me he and Khivar knew.”

 

Michael frowned.  “How did Khivar find out?”  It was like he was the freakin’ CIA or something, knowing every move she made.  He was surprised he didn’t monitor her bowel movements.

 

“They couldn’t figure it out either until some of their spies realized that the communicator was sort of like a camera of sorts, broadcasting my movements to Khivar.”

 

“Okay so he knew.  What did that have to do with you?”

 

“He knew so I had to change my tactics…” Tess explained, remembering her conversation with Lepter.

 

“What am I going to do?” Tess murmured, in shock.

 

“You must find a way to sever yourself from his Highness,” Lepter replied.  His expression was emotionless.

 

“I can’t,” Tess protested, her heart breaking at the thought of losing him again.  “I’m having his baby.”

 

“Khivar’s knowledge of this child will only cause him to demand your pressing the matter of returning with Zan.”

 

Tess wrapped her arms around her stomach, as if cradling her unborn child.  “What will I do?”  She closed her eyes, her mind churning with millions of ideas of how she could remain with Max.  But she could only see death.  Tess swallowed, a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach as one idea settled in her mind.

 

“Milady?” Lepter called.

 

Tess opened her eyes and nodded.  “I know what I have to do.”

 

“So what did you do?” Michael asked skeptically.  She was always so cryptic; it had always bugged him about her, even in the past.

 

 “I…I never imagined he could feel…anything for me,” Tess whispered softly, too distracted by her own thoughts to hear Michael’s questions.  “At least that’s what he kept telling me over and over again.”

 

“If this is all true, then what about the truth about Alex’s death we found buried, or deleted in the Las Cruces computer and the frame up of Leanna?” Michael countered. 

 

“When I realized Liz wasn’t going to let go of Alex’s death, I knew it was the perfect foil for Khivar’s plan, and a way for me to distance myself from Max.”  Tess held her hands out in front of her and began gesturing vividly as she explained.  “Don’t you see?  It was perfect and it worked perfectly.”  She began to pace back and forth while going into details.  “I needed Max to distance himself from me, but I couldn’t be the one to do it…well, knowingly anyway,” she said, enraptured with her story.  “I debated whether to tell Max about the baby, since I would be separated from him anyway, but when Khivar contacted me and congratulated me, I was forced to use the information to make it look like I definitely had the upper hand on Max.”

 

Michael scratched his head and focused on what Tess was saying.  So far it wasn’t making much sense, to him anyway.  If there had been just a little less information…

 

“So I made it look like I tried to cover up Alex’s death; framing Leanna and sending the translated copy of the book to her email address,” she said excitedly.  Wading through the long story was hard, but this final twist to her lies was about to reveal exactly how she planned to rectify her betrayal to all of them – to Max.

 

Suddenly Tess’ face grew solemn.  “It worked out better than I had thought.  I knew Liz was hell bent on getting to the bottom of it, and so I used her to find the tantalizing bits of truth and half-truths I pieced together into a generalized version of how Alex died.  I sent her to Las Cruces and expected Max and Maria to realize that Leanna wasn’t the real murderer.” 

 

“And what about the baby?  Was it ever really in danger?” Michael asked.  The events of that year were coming together and what Tess said rang with some semblance of truth.  It sounded like a crazy scheme Ava would hatch to keep Max safe.  Michael remembered the instance when the Antarian Spring Festival had been almost ruined a few major mishaps with food and entertainment.  Ava orchestrated a complicated plan involving servants and officers so at Zan would not see the yearly festival in any other spectacular light than he was used to.

 

“The baby was an unexpected complication,” Tess frowned, remembering the sudden pains she felt when planning their future.  It scared her half to death to think that her child might die.  She knew that she would be leaving Max, for what could have been forever, she didn’t know; but when she realized she was pregnant, Tess knew she could cope being hated and parted from Max as long as she had him.  Zander.

 

“But you went ahead with your plan anyway?”

 

Tess nodded.  There was nothing else she could do.  The child would remain with her, and separated from Max.  “It seemed destined to happen this way.”  It hurt remembering the last moments she spent under Max’s hurt and betrayed gaze.  Some part of her had hoped that Max wouldn’t believe it.  Tess had wished - though it would mean their death - Max had lambasted them for such an accusation. 

 

“Just as I found out my son would die from this Earth’s atmosphere, you would find the book and reveal to Max that we would be able to return to Antar.”

 

“So you were playing mind games with us all?” Michael barked, unhappy that she had manipulated each of them, though it would mean saving their lives.  “You moved us around like chess pieces.”

 

“I never,” Tess exclaimed ardently, “mindwarped you or controlled you in anyway.”

 

“That makes me feel better,” Michael scoffed.

 

Tess leaned against the entranceway into the chamber.  “Do you want to hear the rest of it or not?”

 

Michael nodded.  “What about Kyle?”

 

“Another plant.  His ‘memories’ would be unequivocal proof in your eyes that I had killed Alex.  That I was the murderer.”  Tess bowed her head.  “Clever wasn’t it?  Masking my modified version of the night’s events under the pretense of an ‘erased’ memory?”

 

“So you trading Max’s life for a safe return to Antar was just a ruse to save him from Khivar?”

 

Tess let out a sigh of relief.  The truth was out.  Whether he believed her was up to him.  But now at least one of them knew the truth.  She nodded in answer to his question.  “Khivar thought he was killing two birds with one stone when he had me bringing Max home on false pretenses and helping me activate the Granolith.  When all was said and done, Max would be dead and he would not have to worry about another wielding the power of the Granolith.“  She was tired and she felt her legs give way.  Tess slid against the smooth firm rock.

 

“Max would hate me and forever refuse to return to Antar with me.”  Tess mumbled, resting her weary head against the palm of her hands.  “And I would return alone, a traitor to Max.”

 

And so her plan was executed to perfection.  In the last minute chaos of it all, Tess would foil Khivar’s plans and be hated by those she loved and cared about.  All who knew Tess on Earth would despise her.

 

“But what about Khivar?  He wanted the ‘seal’.”

 

Tess shook her head.  She felt light headed, having nothing to eat since yesterday.  Her stomach rumbled in protest of the unplanned fast.  “He wanted Max.  The ‘seal’ was just a way to get him from me.”

 

“Why didn’t he hurt you or kill you when you returned?” Michael asked curiously.  Knowing Khivar as he did, the ruthless man would have executed her on the spot.

 

“You forgot that I was carrying Zan’s child,” Tess whispered darkly.  Just mentioning Zander mad her body ache for her son.  She missed his sweet smile and his soft skin.  She missed how his hair tickled her neck while he napped against her shoulder.

 

“And that carried weight with him?”  Michael wanted to kick his enemy’s face in.  Using a child seemed right up Khivar’s alley.

 

She nodded.  “Plus I was a traitor,” Tess reminded Michael.  “Max had rejected me, and believed Liz over me.  He chided me for being careless in my cover up, but never suspected I planned this whole thing.”

 

Michael couldn’t help but smile.  It would make Khivar keel over to know what Tess had done.  At least that was some consolation.  “So this whole time, you’ve been doing what?”

 

Tess looked up at Michael who looked as tired and drained as she felt.  “First they had me under Nicholas’ watchful eye.  I made them believe that I was now on their side and that I hated Max and never wanted to see him again,” she croaked.  Tess rubbed her aching throat.  “I made a life there.  Or as much of a life as I could.”

 

“But why didn’t you tell us?”  The question ran through Michael’s head again and again.  “After you were sure you were safe and Khivar wouldn’t retaliate, why didn’t you let us know?”

 

“What was the point?” Tess asked mournfully.  “The way Max jumped on me and believed I had no trouble killing Alex, I knew he wasn’t with me because he loved me.  And you guys were happy with the way it ended…not Alex’s death, but that I was out of your lives and you didn’t have to think about Antar anymore.”

 
”You think we enjoyed being manipulated and lied to about Alex’s death?” Michael exclaimed in disbelief.  “Do you know how many people you hurt?”

 

Tess waved her hand up dismissively.  “I know, I know.  How could I have killed Alex?  One of your closest friends.”

 

Michael crouched down and tilted her chin up so his gaze met hers.  “No,” he said despondently.  “It wasn’t just because of Alex.  We cared about you too.  When Alex died, we also lost another friend that we thought we had.”

 

The words stung.  It hurt even more than their words of anger and betrayal.  To know that they cared, made it hard for Tess to breathe.  She had often wanted to believe that somehow she did fit in with them.  A swell of emotion welled up inside of her and let out a soft muffled cry.  “I’m sorry,” Tess whispered, barely able to form the words.  “I’m so sorry.”

 

Michael remained kneeling before her, not knowing what he should do.  Though she had betrayed him, Max, Isabel, Liz, Maria, Kyle and Alex, he couldn’t forget what she had just told him.  He did believe her.  Michael knew that everything didn’t fit together in the puzzle they had solved almost a year and a half ago.  And what she had just told him, didn’t completely absolve her.  If she had told him that she had nothing to do with it, he would have had a hard time swallowing it.  Michael knew she had something to do with Alex’s death, but he never got a satisfying explanation.

 

Her sobs grew louder, as she hid her face in her slender hands.  Michael cleared his throat, hoping the emotional scene would dissipate.  The petite figure in front of him remained unmoved, her body trembling from her tears of remorse.  Michael let out a loud sigh.  “Come here,” he said gruffly, pulling Tess into his arms.  “It’ll be okay.”

Next Chapter

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