Disclaimer:  These characters do not belong to me, but to the writers and producers of Roswell

Spoilers:  After Chant Down Babylon, changes happening where Max is successfully rescued,

and Michael was the one who broke up with Maria.

 

 

 

Loving Destiny

 

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

***

The road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began.

 Now far ahead the road has gone and I must follow if I can.

 Pursuing it with weary feet until it joins some larger way,

 where many paths and errands meet -and whither then, I cannot say.

                                                                                                   - J. R. R. Tolkien

***

 

Tess arrived at Khivar’s house later that night.  The plump maid showed Tess into the large, spacious dark study where Khivar apparently liked to brood.  The plush leather chair behind the desk was turned from her, hiding the ruling king behind its girth.

 

“Ahem,” Tess cleared her throat.

 

The chair swiveled and revealed Khivar in a loose silk like shirt.  His top three buttons were undone, revealing pale smooth skin.  “So you’ve chosen a nurse?”

 

Tess threw the list of names onto his desk.  “Yes,” she replied morosely.

 

“Well, who was it?  Denar?  Kepter?” Khivar smirked, his beady eyes narrowing in victory.

 

Tess shook her head.  “Her name is Maia.”

 

Khivar’s body tensed.  “What?  I don’t believe she was on the list?”

 

Now it was Tess’ turn to gloat.  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t either.  But I hired her to take care of Zander for me.”

 

Khivar rose from his seat and walked over to Tess, who stood tall and defiant.  “You chose a woman you know nothing about?  She could be a killer for all you know!” he scoffed.  “Are you sure you won’t reconsider?”

 

Tess bit the inside of her cheek.  It was true she didn’t know her at all in fact, but the glaring logic, which put Maia in Tess’ favor, was Khivar hadn’t recommended the woman.  Also the noticeable familiarity of the woman to Tess and her child, like she had been waiting for them, won Tess over.

 

“I’m sorry.  She is my choice,” Tess declared. “Why?  Do you know her?”

 

Khivar had a look on his face like he’d swallowed something bitter.  “No.  Not at all,” he replied sweetly.  “But one thing I want to remind you of, people aren’t always as they seem on Antar.”

 

Tess smiled and rolled her eyes.  Sometimes that could be a good thing, thought Tess.

 

~ * ~

 

Tess cautiously made her way towards Zander’s room.  Khivar’s palace, if you could call it that, was brilliant with the light of the moon illuminating each room.  The material that the palace was made of seemed to allow outside light in, but didn’t reveal the inner structure of the palace to onlookers.  There were some strange materials and life forms here.

 

Finally Tess found Zander’s room.  It was dark with an intense mirage of lights hovering over Zander’s crib.  Tess didn’t know what to make of the illusion.  As she reached out to touch it, the lighted floating mist, it seemed to cringe at her touch.  Suddenly, as she pressed her hand forward, it dissipated like fog.

 

Zander awoke suddenly, as if aware his mother was near.  Tess lifted the growing child into her arms and rocked him gently.  His dark brown eyes peered up at her as if to ask her something.  Tess lowered her lips to his forehead.  “It’s all right Zander.  Mommy’s taking care of everything.”

 

She looked around the room and found a rocking chair out on the balcony.  The only good thing about the room was that it had a spectacular view.  As Tess rested in the chair, Zander nestled comfortably in the crook of her arms, she allowed herself to drift off.

 

It was a restful sleep.  Tess dreamed of Zander, a little older than he was now.  He was playing in his room, building cities out of shining blocks.  His dark eyes peered up at her as he had done before, but then a dark shadow was cast upon the city he’d built.

 

Tess began to toss fitfully.  Zander was grown now - a young strapping man.  Tess reached out to her son, feeling a pride well up in her.  But Zander’s face seemed dark and foreboding and just as her fingers touched his face, he disappeared.  In his place stood Khivar.  His smug face smirked at Tess and began to laugh.

 

When she awoke, Tess realized that Zander was squirming in her arms.  She looked down at her little boy and felt her body relax.  He was safe.

 

But for how long, a voice inside asked warily.

 

“I don’t know,” Tess said aloud.

 

~ * ~

 

“Your new nurse is here!” Khivar exclaimed as he barged into Zander’s room.

 

Tess scowled.  “Don’t you knock?”

 

Khivar chuckled.  “Now why do I need to do that?  It’s not as if I caught you in something inappropriate,” he motioned to her fully clothed body.  “Apparently you didn’t even bother to change out of yesterday’s clothes.

 

Tess tossed her head allowing the long blonde curly locks to rest behind her shoulders.  “So where is she?” she asked expectantly.

 

Khivar smiled pleasantly, his hands entwined together.  “Oh, my men are just making a thorough check of her persons,” he explained gleefully.  “Just for Zander’s safety of course.”

 

Tess stifled back a cutting comment, pasting a smile on her face.  “Well you can go now.  And send her up soon please?” Tess snipped at Khivar.

 

He rolled his eyes and bowed theatrically at her.  Tess turned her back on his mocking demeanor and went back to the balcony.  “As you wish Ava,” he laughed arrogantly.

 

After what seemed like several hours, in the span of maybe twenty minutes, Tess waited anxiously for the woman she’d just made caretaker of her son.  As she stroked Zander’s smooth soft hair, Tess couldn’t shake the horrible feeling of last night’s dream.  Looking down at her son who seemed quite content to stare out at the vast expanse before him, Tess whispered to her son, “I won’t let him have you Zander.  I won’t.”

 

“And neither will I my Queen,” an elderly voice smiled.  “I’m sorry it took so long.  Khivar interrogated me thoroughly.”

 

Tess watched the older woman hobble over to the balcony.  She seemed more fragile than she’d been the night before.  Tess rose from the rocking chair and approached the older nurse.  “I hope he didn’t hurt you,” apologized Tess.

 

Maia looked up at her with a twinkle in her eye.  “That piece of scum?  I’ve been dealing with ambitious power mongrels like him in the span of my lifetime,” she said dismissively.

 

Tess motioned her to have a seat on a near by couch.  “I’m sure you have,” Tess laughed.

 

Maia’s eyes seemed to stare intently at Zander.  “Is…is that Zander?” choked Maia.

 

Tess looked at her son, which she held tightly in her arms.  She nodded.  “Yes,” Tess replied in a child like voice.  “This is my Zander!”

 

She placed a kiss on her son’s head and then allowed Maia’s extended arms to hold him.  “He’s more beautiful than his picture,” she whispered, nuzzling her nose in the thin layer of hair.

 

Tess smiled.  She thought she should have been uncomfortable with the familiarity the woman was having with her child, but Zander seemed to enjoy the attention and Tess felt at ease with her.  “Why did you call me your Queen?” Tess asked curiously.  In all the time she’d been back on Antar Tess had yet once to encounter someone who had referred to her as ‘Queen’.

 

Maia smiled gently at Tess.  “I know you well Ava.  You have nothing to fear from me.  I watched you grow and become a strong and beautiful Queen.”

 

Tess frowned.  “Did I know you before? I feel like I should know you.”

 

Maia swallowed and lowered her eyes down to the restless child.  “I should probably find out what he likes and dislikes,” she whispered, changing the subject.  “Does he have a schedule?”

 

Tess didn’t like the sadness evading from her.  It was as if she’d hurt her feelings.  Tess smiled and went along with the woman.  “No,” she sighed.  “He doesn’t have a set schedule.  I’d like to spend as much time with him as possible.  Khivar said that he couldn’t take the atmosphere I’m living in yet so he has to stay here.”

 

Maia nodded.  “Unfortunately Khivar’s not lying about that.  The area you’re living in is not suitable for infants and young children.  Its’ atmosphere is dangerous since the last war,” explained Maia.  “Our bodies are more equipped to handle the harsh pollutants that had been released.”

 

Tess smoothed the wrinkles in her black pants.  “What can you tell me about the war?”

 

Maia adjusted Zander’s position in her lap and looked attentively at Tess.  “I know you still don’t remember much about your life Ava, but you will.  It will come back.”

 

Tess bit her lip.  “Can you just tell me what happened?  I mean I can’t spend my lifetime here on Antar without knowing?  I remember a lot about my life with…Max…”  Her voice trailed off at the memories she’d made with Max, or Zan…

 

Maia’s voice interrupted her reverie.  “You and Zan were in love,” the older nurse nodded, reminiscently.  “But I’m sure you hate him after what he’s done to you, right?”

 

The sudden change in her demeanor was startling.  Tess frowned.  “What?”  She shook her head in confusion, then suddenly a knock came at the door.

 

Khivar poked his head in through a small crack in the door.  “How is everyone getting along?”

 

Tess swallowed hard.  “Fine,” she choked.  Tess looked hard at the older woman.  How did she know he was coming?

 

Khivar walked into the room and towards the two women.  “I’ve had you checked out…Maia, isn’t it?” he sneered.

 

Tess watched Maia stare at Khivar glassily, as if looking through him.  “Yes, Your Highness,” she smiled politely.

 

Khivar turned to Tess.  “I don’t think you really want this woman caring for your child Ava,” he stated calmly.

 

Tess looked at him expressionless.  “Why is that?” she asked.

 

“She’s not who she says she is.  I found no recollection in our databases of any woman named Maia.”

 

Tess looked at Maia who remained calm, playing with Zander while the conversation ensued.  “Well how do I know that?  I’ve never seen anything remotely like a computer here on Antar.  How am I supposed to check these nurses references.”

 

Khivar furrowed his brow in frustration.  “That’s what my men and their resources are for.  We are here to protect little Zander here.”  The tall lanky man approached Zander, reaching out to touch him.

 

Maia growled and wrapped her arms securely around the child.  “Well I think that Ava is a good judge of character and can make her own decisions, don’t you?” the older woman asked defiantly.  “Or is she some toy you think you can make bend to your will?”

 

Tess didn’t know what to make of the situation.  She didn’t trust Khivar as far as she could throw him, but she knew she couldn’t ignore his revelation.  Part of her knew that he wasn’t lying about Maia, well at least off of it.  Tess shook her head.  “I think she’s fine.  I haven’t felt any alarms going off in my head and Zander seems to like her.”  Tess observed Zander playing with Maia’s lips and exploring her face.  His giggles set her mind and hear at ease.

 

Khivar’s body seemed to tense and his hands clenched into fists.  “I warn you, if anything happens to Zander, it will be on your head!” he warned menacingly.  It was almost as if he was promising something would happen.  He stalked out of the room and slammed the door.

 

Tess locked gazes with Maia.  “I don’t believe your name is Maia as much as I believe Khivar is king,” Tess revealed.  “Tell me who you are.”

 

Maia shook her head.  “I can’t do that yet child.  Not here in his house.”

 

Tess thought about how reasonable that excuse was.  Khivar was bound to have eyes everywhere, listening to every conversation she had in his house.  “Okay,” she drawled slowly.  “Even if I believe that, why is Khivar adamant about getting you out of here?”

 

“He doesn’t know who I am,” Maia stated, “and that’s more dangerous than knowing who I am and having me take care of Zander.”

 

Tess sighed.  She got up from the couch and looked out the balcony terrace.  “I will trus…”

 

Before Tess could finish her sentence, she felt a horrible pain rush through her.  She hadn’t been in contact with Max for a while, since she’d had to pull out when Khivar had walked into her home with the list of nurses.  But now it felt like where he had been, there was nothing.

 

Tess fell to her knees in pain.  “What’s happening?” she gasped in pain.

 

Suddenly she felt a warmth flow over her and a soothing voice melting away the throbbing darkness that consumed her.  When she awoke, Tess found herself cradled in Maia’s arms and being gently rocked.   Rubbing her head, Tess groggily regained consciousness.  She sat up and looked curiously at Maia.  “I’ve heard your voice before,” Tess accused.

 

Maia smiled and brushed a stray tendril from Tess’ face.  “You’ll be fine.”

 

Tess slowly got up from the floor and looked around for Zander.  “Where’s Zander?” she demanded.

 

Maia pushed herself up to standing position on a near by coffee table.  “He’s in his play pen,” Maia replied.  “Don’t you think you should sit down after that?”

 

Tess looked over at the older woman.  She seemed less fragile and her frame seemed to have grown taller and straighter.  “Who are you?”

 

Maia led Tess to the couch and sat her down.  She disappeared behind a swinging door and came back with a glass of water.  Tess accepted the glass of water and looked at her questioningly.  “Who are you?” she repeated.

 

The nurse patted her on the hand and smiled.  “I think you need to worry less about that and more about,” she looked around the room, leaned forward and whispered, “about Zan.”

 

Tess stood up quickly and shook her head.  “No!  You need to tell me how you know all of this stuff and what about Max?” she cried.  Suddenly light-headedness overwhelmed her and Tess had to sit down.

 

Maia again began patting her hand.  “All in good time my child.  Now you have to worry about him.  He’s losing touch my daughter and you have to hurry.”

 

Tess furrowed her brow when Maia called her ‘my daughter’, but could say anything before she faded into darkness.

 

~~~

 

Maria had arrived and was ready to take over for the evening.  “What happened guys?” she frowned.

 

The trio looked at each other, eyes darting from one another.  “Things have changed.  Max isn’t breathing.”

 

Michael’s statement threw her.  “You mean he’s dead?  And you guys are just standing around like nothing’s happened?” Maria yelled, staring at them incredulously.

 

“He’s not dead.  He’s alive, but just not breathing.”  Michael shook his head as Maria looked on in confusion. 

 

“You don’t need to know all the details, except if anything changes in his condition, call us,” Michael stated.

 

Maria rolled her eyes and walked over to Liz, hoping to get a straight answer from her.  “Liz?  What happened?  You look horrible.”

 

Liz lowered her eyes and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.  “Nothing,” she whispered.  “Look, I gotta get some sleep before my shift starts this morning.  Plus, my dad will kill me if I’m late again.”

 

Maria watched Michael, Isabel and Liz walk out the cave entrance.  She felt like an outsider again and shouted in a non-verbal response.  Then after counting to ten, Maria settled in for the early dawn and looked unhappily at the comatose Max.

 

~~~

 

When Isabel and Michael believed that Max had been stable for an hour or so, they felt like they could possibly leave for the night.  Michael drove Isabel home in the quiet of the night.  He felt like he’d been through an emotional roller coaster.  It was almost a list of miracles that Max hadn’t died that night.  He shook his head at the memory of feeling no breath come from Max’s mouth or nose, and the relief he felt when he’d discovered his heart still beating.

 

Michael walked Isabel to the door.  He was on autopilot.  He wasn’t thinking about what he was doing, he was just doing it.

 

“Isabel!” a man’s voice cried in alarm.

 

Both Isabel and Michael seemed startled out of their foggy reverie.  “Jesse?” Isabel whispered.

 

Michael watched Isabel launch into Jesse’s arms, while he stood there motionless.  He couldn’t believe they’d have to deal with him now, after tonight.  Michael closed his eyes and turned to leave.

 

“Wait!” Isabel called softly.  

 

Michael turned around to see Isabel reaching out to him.  He’d dreamed of her doing that, but it was always marred by Jesse’s presence in the background, just as it was tonight.  “What?” he barked.

 

“Don’t bark at her like that!” Jesse growled.  Isabel held him back as he leaned forward menacingly.

 

Michael rolled his eyes.  “Whatever.”

 

Isabel looked at him pleadingly.  “I just want to talk to you about something Michael.”

 

Michael raised his eyebrows and lifted his arms with impatience.  “Yeah?”

 

Isabel turned quietly to Jesse who looked like he was ready to have at it with Michael.  “I just need a second alone with him okay?”

 

Jesse looked incredulously at Isabel.  “Are you kidding me?  You’ve been with Michael for god knows how long and now you need a ‘second’ alone with him?” Jesse yelled.

 

Michael bit back a reply.  He had no business sticking his nose in their relationship, he reminded himself.  “I’ll be outside,” he stated stalking out the door, out of the ‘marital zone’.

 

It was a few minutes before she joined him out in the yard.  He’d been stomping back the divets he’d made while waiting for Isabel.  “What is it?” he sighed warily as he heard the door open.

 

Isabel walked towards him.  “I’m sorry about that,” she apologized softly.  “I just think he’s a bit tired from the plane.”

 

Michael shook his head and looked at her skeptically.  “If you ask me he’s just a jerk and the plane ride just made it more apparent!” he retorted.

 

Isabel threw up her hands.  “Can you not do that Michael?  Please?” she cried.  “I can’t take this!”

 

Michael looked up from the patch of grass he’d just kicked, and sighed.  Isabel had dark rings under her eyes and her hair was disheveled; a completely different person than he remembered.  Michael nodded.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he pulled her against him.

 

He felt Isabel’s limp arms slowly return his embrace.  Michael pulled away slightly and stroked her short red hair.  “I’ll try,” he promised.

 

Isabel looked up with her big brown eyes and smiled half-heartedly.  “That’s all I’m asking Michael.”

 

Michael nodded.  She mouthed a ‘thank you’ and breathed a sigh of relief.  With that, Michael dropped his hands from her shoulders and waved good night.  He watched her in the rear view mirror, standing in the driveway as he drove away.

 

 

 

 

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