Top 7 Oscar Advice

 

 

Note: The last time Pfeiffer was nominated for an Academy Award was 1992 for Love Field, even though she turned into some Oscar worthy performances after 1992 like The Age of Innocence, A Thousand Acres, and White Oleander to name a few. So for the sake of fun, I made some unsolicited Oscar advice in order for her to get that elusive but very much deserved Oscar. Send your hate mails in [email protected]

 

 

 

1.     Even though you received critical acclaim for voice work (The Simpsons, Sinbad), stay away from it. That won’t win the Oscar. Your presence deserves to be experienced in its full glory (the face, the voice, the acting etc.)

2.     Choose edgier roles, in the same league as Catwoman, Suzie Diamond, and more recently Ingrid Magnussen. Recently most of her choices are predictable and less exciting.

3.     There’s a saying that it’s easier to die than win an Oscar for comedy (of course there are exceptions like Diane Keaton in Annie Hall and Marisa Tomei in My cousin Vinny). So for the mean time if winning an Oscar is the goal stay away from comedy which includes romantic comedy which she seems to enjoy doing.

4.     Do a musical. With Chicago and Moulin Rouge paving the way for the revival of the dead genre, and since she seems to enjoy singing in movies, it’s Oscar material. Let’s just hope the role she would be playing in the future is not Kate the Monster in Avenue Q or for that matter any kind of puppet.

5.     Choose small independent movies. Big Hollywood movies do not often equal Oscar success. Box Office is more important to those actresses who wanted to become part of the Hollywood A list, but you don’t need that since you already are in that A list group.

6.     A great majority thinks that you are better in playing bad than good. You are a versatile actress just like Barbara Stanwyck, who can play a villain effectively. That is something not most Hollywood A list actresses can claim. So be BAD!

7.     Tone down the beauty. It’s an observation from people that beautiful actresses need to make themselves look ordinary to win the Oscar. From Hilary Swank, to Nicole Kidman, to Charlize Theron to Halle Berry, that seemed to work. Bottomline: throw away the makeup!                  

 

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