Title: Adventures in Grocery Shopping

Rating: PG

Spoilers: nothing obvious

Summary: A President, his staff and a free Sunday afternoon, what could possibly go wrong?

Thanks: To Rhonda, for the positive comments, wonderful suggestions and for helping to bring the funny.

Adventures in Grocery Shopping

Part One

It was lunchtime on Sunday and the staff had just broken up from yet another strategy meeting. The others disappeared pretty quickly when the President asked CJ if she had a few moments. CJ hovered in front of his desk as he moved to stand behind it.

“So what have you got planned for this afternoon?” the President asked casually.

“Sir?”

“You guys aren’t working so I wondered what you had planned.”

“Grocery shopping Sir,” she replied. “My fridge is pretty much empty.”

“Really?” He tapped his forehead with his fingers, “That sounds like fun. I can’t remember the last time I went to a supermarket.”

“Have you ever been?” CJ asked, concern growing.

‘You know what, I probably haven’t. And today would be as good a day as any to go.’

CJ groaned, ‘Sir?’

‘Charlie,’ he yelled and the body man appeared in the doorway.

‘Mr President?’

The President made his way to the seal in the centre of his carpet, ‘Charlie alert the agents to a road trip. CJ, where are we going?’

CJ glanced at Charlie and rubbed her eyes, before turning back to the President, ‘Sir, this isn’t a good idea, people like to shop on Sundays and security will be a nightmare.’

‘CJ,’ he warned.

‘Wal-Mart, we’re going to Wal-Mart,’ she sighed.

‘Excellent, Charlie, we’re going to Wal-Mart.’

Charlie rolled his eyes, ‘Very good Sir.’ He left the room as Josh appeared in the doorway.

‘AH, Josh, looking for me?’ he grinned.

Josh shook his head, ‘I need CJ actually.’

‘Thank god,’ CJ said. ‘Sir, Josh needs me. The shopping will have to wait.’ Grabbing Josh’s arm, she tried to quickly direct him out of the Oval Office.

‘Hey, where’s the fire?’ Josh whined. ‘I just need to know here you put your bottle opener. Toby and I are going to have a beer and watch the basketball game in your office.’

‘Shush,’ CJ whispered, pinching his arm and pulling him towards the door.

‘What?’ Josh yelped, rubbing his arm. ‘What was that for?’

‘CJ, Josh’s little crisis can wait,’ the President ordered, his voice stopping them in their tracks.

Glancing at Josh’s puzzled face, the President’s face lit up as he got another idea.

‘We’re going shopping,’ Jed announced in a tone that made CJ think of her niece when she learnt her multiplication tables. ‘Come with us!’

Josh looked desperately from side to side, sensing the danger now but not knowing how to escape, ‘I don’t need anything.’

‘Nonsense, you can’t live on pop tarts and beer.’

‘Really Sir, I can,’ he muttered glancing at CJ, who was now smirking. ‘Besides Donna does my shopping,’ Josh whined.

Jed smiled and Josh knew he had lost, ‘That settles it then, it will be a new experience for you too.’ Rubbing his hands together, the President laughed, ‘This is going to be so much fun.’

CJ and Josh exchanged knowing glances.

‘Y’know Sir, the others are probably still in the building,’ Josh commented, hiding a smile.

‘And I’m sure their fridges are empty too,’ CJ innocently added.

‘Excellent suggestion. Charlie,’ Jed yelled and was rewarded by a head popping up in the doorframe. ‘Tell Leo, Toby and Sam to come too.’

‘Yes sir.’

CJ excused herself from the room and went to get her coat; walking through the bullpen she stuck her head around Toby’s office door. ‘Hey.’

He grunted in reply.

‘We’re leaving in five minutes,’ she said.

‘We’re really going shopping?’

‘He thinks it will fun,’ she groaned.

‘For him maybe, for the rest of us, it’s going to be torture.’

Charlie peered around the corner, ‘He’s ready for you. Anyone seen Sam?’

‘He escaped before the Presidential shopping directive came down. He’s gone, the lucky devil,’ Toby muttered.

‘Just the six of us then?’ Charlie smirked.

‘What could possibly go wrong?’ Toby muttered.

Part Two

By the time the motorcade arrived at the Supercentre, the store had been cleared. The Secret Service hustled them through the entrance and Jed stood staring around the huge building.

‘How do we do this?’ he asked.

‘Grab a cart and go aisle to aisle,’ CJ offered, a little overwhelmed herself by the lack of other customers. ‘I could get used to shopping like this.’

‘I make a list and stick to it,’ Toby grumbled, responding to the President‘s question.

‘Leo?’

Leo stepped forward, ‘I order room service.’

‘You’re no fun,’ Jed replied, examining the rows of metal shopping carts.

‘You’re right Sir, Jenny never liked shopping with me. Can I go back to the office?’ Leo asked hopefully.

Jed shook his head and grabbed a cart, ‘Nah, you can help Josh. I’m going to push CJ’s shopping cart.’

CJ recoiled in horror, ‘Sir?’ I can push my own cart.’

Before the President could respond, Josh went flying by on his shopping cart, his body balanced on the cart, one leg in the air pointed backwards.

‘Hey, is that allowed?’ Jed asked his foot resting on the cart.

CJ glanced at Leo, and he cringed. ‘Not really Sir.’

‘But it looks like fun. Leo, you remember the sledding at the farm?’

Leo groaned, ‘How can I forget? You ended up wrapped around a tree.’

‘Ah, not to worry, shopping carts have brakes,’ he announced as he pushed off and started to gain speed, heading down the deserted aisle.

‘Oh, good god,’ CJ groaned.

‘This is your fault,’ Leo complained.

‘My fault?’ CJ yelled. ‘And who was the one who finished off the bread and cheese last night?’ she whispered.

‘Well you didn’t have to tell him you were going…’ Leo bit back as an almighty crash sounded down the aisle.

They both spun their heads in time to catch the agents lifting the President off the ground and righting the cart

‘Leo, apparently it doesn’t have breaks,’ the President shouted, dusting off his suit.

‘Can we just get this over with?’ Leo whined.

Jed appeared back a few seconds later with a fresh shopping cart, his steering a little off kilter as the back wheel wobbled. ‘So, we’re doing fruit and vegetables first?’

CJ dropped an armful of food into the cart and walked on, ‘Yes Sir.’

‘What about some asparagus?’ he asked, picking up the biggest bundle he could find. ‘Great aphrodisiac!’

CJ carried on walking, muttering, ‘Please god, give us a national emergency.’

After a few more minutes of watching her select green stuff and throw it in the cart, the President wandered off and went to find Josh.

Part Three

Josh was perusing the snack aisle as Jed came up behind him and riffled through his cart.

‘Pringles, microwave popcorn, twiglets. Do you buy real food?’

‘This is real food, Sir,’ he said tossing in three boxes of assorted pop tarts.

Jed stalked behind him as he rounded the corner and started down the next aisle.

‘Real food is pizza, steak, a good chilli,’ Jed admonished.

Josh continued to walk, catching sight of Toby at the end of the aisle. ‘Toby is over there Sir,’ Josh indicated with his head, hoping to divert his attention.

‘Ah, Toby?’ the President yelled sending agents scurrying behind him.

‘Mr President?’ Toby said coming to a halt.

‘What’s in the cart?’

‘That would be food.’

‘Chicken, salad, milk, fish, what are you, some sort of health nut?’ Jed asked.

Toby rubbed the back of his head, silently praying for patience.

**************************************************************

CJ was desperately trying to hide in the toiletries aisle when the President leapt out behind her.

‘You thought I’d gone, didn’t you?’

‘If only,’ CJ muttered, grabbing shampoo and conditioner.

‘That’s a man’s shampoo!’ he exclaimed pointing to the top of her cart. ‘Have you got a man I don’t know about?’

CJ glanced down and mentally kicked herself. ‘Ah, that would be for guests.’

‘A particular guest?’ he asked nudging her shoulder.

At that exact moment, Leo came up behind them.

‘CJ, has a man,’ Jed announced, ignorant of the blush on CJ’s face.

‘I know Sir,’ he replied, trying to slip the three boxes of goldfish crackers into her basket unnoticed.

‘And you didn’t see fit to mention it?’ Jed complained.

CJ had stopped mid aisle and was hovering near the personal hygiene section, ‘Guys, do you think you could take this conversation elsewhere.’

They both looked over and gulped at the brightly coloured boxes.

‘Uh, yeah.’

When they’d gone she picked up a box of tampax and discreetly buried it under the food. Taking a few more steps she glanced around and tucked a box of condoms in as well.

‘It’s you?’ she heard a few seconds later. ‘You and our CJ?’

Leo’s reply was inaudible as he tried to hush the President.

‘You should buy her chocolates and flowers,’ Jed chided, ‘They sell them here right?’

‘Mr President?’ Leo groaned.

‘What does she like? Roses, Lilies, Dandelions?’

‘Sir?’

‘Not to worry, we’ll get her a bunch of everything,’ he continued stalking off down the shop. ‘And a box of Milk Tray, coz the lady loves Milk Tray.’

Leo followed behind, head down, wondering if he could make his pager buzz.

When next she saw him the President was descending on her with an agent in tow. The agent was glancing from side to side and balancing an armful of groceries.

CJ stopped and waited as the President dropped each item into her cart.

‘Stockings, Fresh coffee, a man likes fresh coffee, strawberries, ice cream, steak, you know as a woman of the world I would have expected you to have thought of these things.’ He continued to drop items as the agent sighed in relief. The last item he thrust into her hand and smirked.

CJ blushed and glanced over his shoulder at Leo, ‘Did you put him up to this?’

Leo glanced up from his study of the floor tiles, ‘Uh, no.’ Getting a good look at what she had in her hand, a startled Leo barked, ‘Mr President!’

‘Abbey, bought me some for Christmas, it’s really good fun, even if it’s a little sticky,’ Jed grinned.

‘Oh geez, thanks for that mental picture,’ Leo grumbled.

‘You know we’re a little low ourselves, maybe I’ll buy some.’ Patting his suit pockets, the President turned to Leo, saying ‘I don’t have any money on me. You’re going to have to break out your credit cards.’

‘This just keeps getting better and better,’ Leo said, pulling out his wallet.

*********************************************************

Part Four

Toby found his way into the clothing section and looked cautiously around to make sure no one else was coming. Ignoring the men’s section he wandered into the women’s area and started hunting through women’s underwear. Every so often he would glance up and go back to looking through the racks of lingerie. The third time he looked up a sales assistant wandered over.

‘Can I be of assistance?’ she asked, a little too loudly for his liking.

‘I’m fine,’ Toby growled back.

‘Was there something in particular you were looking for?’ she asked watching as he fingered the black lace corset.

Toby stared at the tiles and shuffled, ‘No.’

He caught the look of amusement she was giving him and followed her eyes, dropping his hands abruptly. ‘Leave now,’ he grumbled.

The spotty faced school girl took a step back and grabbed something from the rack behind her, ‘How about this for the special lady Sir?’

Toby went wide-eyed at the black bustier and groaned as he caught the smirk on the person heading his way.

‘Nice. Toby,’ CJ commented, ‘Not sure if it’s your colour, though.’ Reaching over the assistant’s head she pulled the same item in a nice salmon pink. ‘Now this is more you.’

‘Kill me now,’ he groaned.

CJ smiled at the girl and in her sweetest voice said, ‘It’s okay I can take it from here.’

The girl practically threw the bustier at her and ran.

‘You really have a way with women,’ CJ remarked, holding first the pink then the black one against her. ‘Which one do you think?’

Toby glanced up quickly, gulped and suddenly found his shoes fascinating.

CJ spotted the flush creeping up from under his beard and carried on up the aisle towards him. She stopped and reached down to the bottom shelf, ‘Toby?’ she called quietly.

He didn’t move, only shuffled backwards and forwards.

She tried again trying not to giggle, ‘Toby?’

Toby sighed and glanced up, ‘What?’ His jaw hit the floor as she waved the hanger at him.

‘Do you think this would fit me?’ she asked innocently.

‘Uh?’ he stammered.

‘You think I need a bigger size?’ she asked, her voice revealing her amusement.

Toby shook his head, ‘Might as well wear a fig leaf.’

CJ mock pouted, ‘And here was I going to wear it under the red dress you like so much.’

She wasn’t sure, and if asked later wouldn’t swear to it but she thought she saw his trousers twitch by their own accord.

Toby put his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet while he waited for the throbbing in his pants to stop. CJ grinning and waving thongs and suspenders at him wasn’t helping.

‘You know I’m a 34B, size 10?’ she said, winking and wandering off.

Waiting till she was out of sight Toby almost smiled and riffled through the shelf she had just left, grabbing a bra, thong and matching suspenders.

He was just tucking them in his shopping cart when the inevitable happened.

‘I wasn’t aware you were into the Rocky Horror Show, Toby,’ Jed’s voice boomed down the aisle.

Leo caught up with the President and glanced down into the cart, raising his eyebrows.

Toby rubbed his forehead frantically, trying to starve off the headache that was forming.

Part Five

Josh left the food aisles far behind and headed for the alcohol. Picking up several six packs of Samuel Adams, he tossed them on top of his snacks.

‘Uh, Josh, you really didn’t want to that,’ Charlie said appearing at his side.

‘Yeah, kinda gathered that. It’s ‘k I’ll just put the chips back and get some more,’ he replied smugly.

Charlie gestured around them, ‘And you don’t think one of the hundred staff watching us won’t notice?’

Josh put his hand on his hip and whispered, ’Well I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure the guy I’m with is the President.’

‘You mean the guy that just went that way on a kids trike?’ Charlie asked, his hand rubbing his eyes.

Josh stuck his head around the end of the aisle and nodded, ‘Yep, that would be the one.’

‘Joshua, you should try this,’ Jed called, cycling back the other way and skidding to a halt in front of CJ.

‘No, you really shouldn’t,’ Leo groaned trailing in the President’s wake.

CJ glared at the President, ‘Sir, you’re not five.’

‘Ah,’ he muttered waving his hand, ‘You’re just a spoil sport.’

CJ rolled her eyes and headed towards the pet food with her shopping cart.

‘Josh, Charlie,’ Jed yelled, climbing off the bike, ‘Wanna play ball?’

‘We haven’t got a hoop,’ Josh called back, only to grimace when a few seconds later the President appeared in his view with a blow up hoop. ‘We haven’t got a ball,’ he tried. A second later he was hit on the nose with said ball.

‘Can I play?’

The four men glanced down to see where the tiny voice had come from.

‘I’m Charlotte, Lottie for short,’ the girl announced, her ringlets bobbing away.

‘And where’s your mom?’ The President asked crouching to the ground.

She shrugged, ‘So are we gonna play ball or not?’ she asked snatching the ball off of Josh and pitching a perfect hoop. The ball rebounded and Josh caught it. Taking a step back, to make things fair, Josh aimed, threw and missed.

‘You suck.’

‘Now Lottie, you shouldn’t use words like that,’ the President corrected.

‘K,’ she muttered, turning back to Josh, ‘You’re crap.’

Leo grinned and quickly hid it. ‘CJ,’ he yelled.

‘What?’ she snapped, appearing in the aisle, hands on hips.

‘We seem to have found a kid,’ Josh offered, smiling.

CJ stood with her hands on her hips, ‘And because I’m Press Secretary that affects me, how?’

‘You’re a woman,’ Josh gulped.

‘Joshua, Josh, mi amour?’

‘Yeah?’ he asked, nervously.

‘And it‘s my responsibility, because?’ she asked innocently.

Lottie grabbed hold of the President’s hand and dragged him in the direction of the boys’ toys.

‘Josh, she’s not yours, is she?’ CJ asked, stifling a grin. ‘Unruly hair, big ego, smug? Where were you five years ago?

Josh gave her a panicked expression and threw back his head, mentally calculating what he had been up to and not coming up with a satisfactory answer.

CJ, satisfied Josh was suitably spooked, set off after the President and his new friend. She sidestepped quickly when a remote controlled car collided with her foot.

‘Sorry CJ, it needs practice,’ the President apologized, hitting the wrong button and sending the car ploughing once again into CJ’s feet.

Leaning down, CJ picked up the car and descended on the President.

‘She’s no fun,’ Lottie whined.

‘She’s always like that,’ Jed confirmed. ‘She never lets me do what I want.’

CJ rolled her eyes, remembering just why she had never had kids.

‘Steve,’ CJ called and an agent materialised beside her, ‘I’m not sure, but if you poke your head into the car park I think you may find a frantic mother, sans kid.’

‘Do I have to go, do I?’ Lottie begged.

Jed looked at CJ, putting on his most pitiful look. CJ nodded and glared back.

‘Yeah, but you can keep the car,’ he offered. ‘Leo, you need to pay for that.’

Leo removed his credit card from his pocket and handed it over, ‘Why don’t you hang onto it for now Sir?’

A minute later a woman came dashing down the store and grabbed Lottie by the hand.

‘What did I tell you about speaking to strange men?’ she growled, pulling the child away.

‘To check first if they’re a politician or a lawyer,’ she said.

‘Smart mother,’ Leo muttered.

The woman spun round and stopped, ‘Joshua?’

‘Caroline,’ he replied, noticeably getting uncomfortable. ‘It’s been a long time.’

‘Yeah, glad to see it’s only taken you five years to pick up the milk.’ With that she stalked off in the direction of the exit.

CJ stood there smugly, ‘This had better not become something I need to deal with.’

 Part Six

‘What’s next?’ Jed asked gazing around at his staff.

‘I’m going to grab a magazine,’ CJ announced, hoping to buy a little alone time.

‘Time, Newsweek?’ Josh asked, smiling.

CJ shook her head, ‘Cosmo.’

‘What’s Cosmo?’ Jed asked, his face brightening, ‘A science magazine? Maybe something about space exploration. Or Galileo V’

Josh smirked, ‘It’s a girl’s magazine.’

‘That’s funny, coz my copy always seems to find it’s way onto your desk,’ CJ snarled.

‘I like to show Donna the *month’s* way to please your lover,’ he said clamping his hand to his mouth.

‘Way too much information,’ Leo groaned.

The President got a certain gleam in his eye. ‘Hey, let’s get a copy for Abbey,’ he suggested, ‘and a copy of that girly one with the naked men. You know which one I’m referring to CJ?’

‘Playgirl?’ CJ asked, smirking.

‘Yeah. Abbey likes the articles,’ he replied, earnestly. ‘She says they stimulate her mind. Personally I never found the articles that interesting, but Abbey says it’s all in the way you look at it.’

CJ broke down laughing, ‘I bet she does, Sir.’

‘You could buy her The National Enquirer Sir,’ Josh suggested. ‘My picture’s in there this month,’ he said smugly. ‘I think she’d enjoy seeing that.’

‘Did you win an award or something? Was it an in-depth article?’ Jed asked seriously.

‘Oh yes, very well researched Mr President. The headline read: White House Deputy Chief of Staff has Secret Harem.’ CJ informed him. ‘And it’s a great photo.’ Turning her head, she added, ‘Josh, the Bermudas really say it all, it was really too bad you didn’t have a tan on those legs.’

Leo grinned, ‘Donna and a secret harem! I’m so in awe.’

CJ shot him a ‘you’re gonna die if you say another word’ glare and he dropped the grin.

The President just shook his head, ‘Secret Harem? Is that like your secret plan to fight inflation?’

Blushing Josh said, ‘Uh CJ? I’ll just go find those magazines for you.’ 

Part Seven

‘Your cat hates me,’ Leo sadly informed CJ, peering over her shoulder at the rows of tins.

‘She’s still getting used to you,’ CJ replied reading the side of the can.

Leo shook his head, ‘She ripped my shorts. I think that’s a pretty clear sign.’

‘You shouldn’t have left them on the floor,’ CJ said distracted.

‘They were hanging on the door. If I’d been wearing them, well let just say there’d be no more hanky panky.’

CJ raised her eyebrows.

Impatiently, Leo walked over to the nearest shelf and grabbed a can. ‘Can’t the damn cat just have seven tins of…’ he muttered, reading the ingredients. ‘Finest Scottish Salmon? Jesus she eats better than I do.’

‘And so much more appreciative,’ she said under her breath. Smiling she said, ‘Leo, I need fish food. Maybe you could find that while I finish up here?’

He groaned and stalked off up the aisle. ‘Does Gail prefer flakes or pellets, or maybe you’d like me to go dig up worms? I thought Danny was still providing you with fish food.’

At her stony eyed, he smirked and added, ‘What’s the matter? Didn’t get child support in the break up?’

CJ glared at him, ’Flakes will be fine. As for the rest, get over it.’

Leo tossed the flakes into the cart and wandered off in search of the President.

Hearing a crash, Leo headed in that direction, only to find agents picking the President off the tiled floor.

‘Sir, with your medication, you really should keep away from machinery,’ Leo sighed.

‘This is excellent,’ the President announced getting back on the treadmill and hitting the ‘on’ button. Two seconds later he was jogging. ‘I need never go out again.’

Leo watched for a minute, amazed at how he managed to keep up. Then, as if in suspended animation, Leo saw the President hit the ‘faster’ button and end up on his backside again.

‘Maybe jogging’s not for me,’ he muttered rubbing his hands on his trousers. ‘What about cycling? Leo, you have that great bike, we could go together. Hey we could make it a staff outing.’

Leo groaned and massaged his temples, ‘That sounds wonderful Mr President, except for the fact I no longer have a bike.’

‘What did you do, you klutz, crash into something?’ He laughed and when all he got was silence he looked back at Leo. ‘Ah, that was me.’

Leo nodded, ‘A three thousand dollar touring bike, Sir, wrapped around an oak tree.’

‘Are you going to bring this up to torture me for the rest of our lives?’ Jed whined.

‘I will certainly try Sir,’ Leo grimly answered.

Jed picked up a Tennis racket and waved it about. Leo ducked just in time.

‘Now I’m good at tennis,’ he bragged. “I crucified CJ and Toby at doubles.’ Swinging a little wide with his racket, he banged a shelf, tumbling golf clubs down around him.

‘Or maybe golf, a man’s game...’ he pondered, picking a club up off of his foot.

Leo grabbed a fishing rod, ‘How about fishing Sir?’ Surely even the President couldn’t get hurt fishing.

‘Just imagine it. You on the river bank, casting your fly and reeling it in. Just think of the stories you could have to tell the Trout Fishermen of America the next time you address the Convention.’ Leo added muttering, ‘Wouldn’t have to talk about looking out over magnificent vistas.’

The President took the rod and went to cast, catching the hook in the rack of bike shorts behind him and sending them flying through the air. Toby rounded the corner and found his face covered in neon blues and greens.

‘Oops,’ Jed said, handing Leo the rod. ‘Sorry Leo, I really don’t think fishing’s YOUR thing.’

Leo looked at Jed and glared.

‘Sir,’ Toby said, tossing off nylon garments, ‘Did you know there is a whole aisle full of board games?’

‘Damn, Leo! What are we doing messing around with this jock junk for? We’re men of huge intellectual capabilities.’ Rubbing his hands together, the President stepped over the jumbled pile of golf clubs, tennis rackets, fishing poles and bike shorts. ‘Lead us to it Toby. Trivial Pursuit, here we come.’

Part Eight

CJ stood at the checkout, well actually debating which one of the twenty empty ones to go to.

It was looking promising, the President was nowhere in sight as she began to pile her shopping on the nearest belt, neatly organised into freezer, fridge and pantry.

She hadn‘t realised until then that he had stealth capabilities, maybe it had something to do with the agents keeping their distance.

‘So how does this work?’ He asked, picking up the laundry detergent and placing it next to the frozen food.

‘We pay, and go home,’ CJ stated, moving the goods, ready for the bags just before he dropped her shopping willy nilly.

Josh and Toby had picked check outs at the other end of the store and she glanced longingly in their direction.

‘Sir, I think Toby could use a hand,’ CJ grinned, ‘Maybe you could help sack.’

‘But I’m helping you,’ he stated. ‘I like bothering you.’

CJ groaned and muttered inaudibly, ‘Oh please!’ Turning back to him she forced a smile, ‘Actually Sir it would be handy if you could find Leo, he was last seen heading for the music section. You don’t want a repeat of the Britney Spears incident.’

‘I am not having ‘Who let the dogs out?‘ as our campaign music,’ he growled, heading off across the store.

As he wandered off she smiled at Leo, hiding behind the candy rack, and waved him over, ‘He’s gone.’

Leo sighed in relief, ‘You are never, ever, allowed to mention shopping to him again.’

CJ grinned, ‘Okay. No argument from me. But it’s your turn to pay,‘ she added packing the groceries into the cart.

The Cashier smiled and asked, ‘Mr McGarry, would you like me to add the other things to the Bill?’

Leo rolled his eyebrows and nodded. After ringing up items ad finitem in the Cashier rang up the total. Leo handed over his credit card and prepared to sign.

A long silence followed.

‘I’m sorry Sir, your card seems to have been declined due to lack of credit,’ the Cashier whispered, discreetly.

‘What?’ Leo yelled, then lowering his voice. ‘It’s a Gold Card.’

CJ tried to stifle a giggle and fished in her purse for her card, ‘Here. Let me get it. How much is it?’

She coughed loudly when the girl pointed to the total, ‘I only wanted to buy a week’s worth of groceries not the store.’

Leo had the good grace to look embarrassed, ‘The President added a few items.’

CJ raised her eyebrows and handed over her card.

**********************************************************

‘So what are we doing next Sunday?’ Jed asked, watching his agent load the bags into the trunk. There seemed to be rather a lot of bags, he thought, maybe they were Leo’s things too.

CJ rolled her eyes, ‘Working Sir?’

‘Josh, how about you? You’re an outdoorsman,’ he asked, grinning at the silliness of that statement.

‘There’s a soft ball tournament on the Mall,’ Josh said without thinking. He stopped and cast around the car park wildly. CJ was loading shopping into Toby’s Dart and Toby was propped up against the car, reading the paper while he watched, a grin evident beneath his beard. Josh groaned as he realised he was on his own.

‘Excellent,’ Jed announced, rubbing his hands in glee. ‘What can be better, than men hanging out together, playing sports. That’s what weekends are all about, Leo,’ he grinned.

Leo massaged his temples and wondered how easy it would be to get Margaret to send him to Siberia for a vacation.

‘Yes Sir, maybe we can organise something on the White House grounds,’ he suggested, giving Josh a glare.

Josh raised his hands in a ‘how was I supposed to know’ gesture.

Leo returned with a ‘Duh.’

‘Nonsense, old friend. You’re always telling me I need to relate to the voters,’ Jed reminded him. ‘Josh organise a team, I’m the pitcher. My aim has always been pretty fantastic.’

‘Why does he only remember these things at times like this?’ CJ snickered leaning up close to Leo.

Leo was never one to want to leave CJ out. ‘But Sir, that would mean CJ can’t play,’ Leo offered, grinning.

Jed waved his hands, ‘Great, she can bring the beer and hotdogs. What do you call the girls again?’

‘Go go dancers,’ Josh called.

‘That’s a strip club Josh. I mean the girls with the pom poms and the short skirts,’ the President replied, watching Josh with mild irritation.

‘Sir, you're thinking of cheerleaders,’ Leo stated. ‘But they don't serve food to the team members.’

‘Okay,’ the President agreed. ‘She can just wear a short skirt and cheer.’

‘In your dreams,’ CJ muttered, as she got in the car. ‘I already do enough cheerleading for this administration. You guys will have to hire a professional for your sporting events.’

‘Hey, Sir?’ an excited Josh yelled out. ‘Why don't you invite the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to tour the White House next weekend. Since their team sucks this year, they should have some free time. Maybe they'd like to watch a baseball game for a change of pace.’

‘Leo,’ the beaming President said. ‘Handle that won't you?’

‘Yes Sir,’ he replied, silently thankful that when CJ mentioned professional, Josh hadn’t mentioned Sam’s friend.


The End