Toby and CJ were fighting, everyone knew they were fighting and it was anyone’s guess when it would end. Today they were in Toby’s office. 

She had walked in a few minutes before, slamming the door so loudly that it had shaken the adjoining office. 

The conversation was already heated and Sam was on the verge of giving up on the speech he was writing. He looked up as Josh entered his office, Donna in tow. They all stared at each other as the voices next door rose in volume.

“So you fucked her Toby, well that’s really original. Do you intend on fucking all the Congresswomen, is that the Ziegler way to get support for the Bill?”

The sound of something shattering and CJ screaming was piercing when it came, silencing everyone in the vicinity. 

Josh was pushing open the door and charging into Toby’s office before Donna could stop him. 

Toby stood facing the door, his face red, his hand still midway in the air. 

CJ turned at the intrusion, her hand covering her cheek. She looked at Josh and back at Toby and bolted through the door. 

Toby watched her go and groaned. 

Josh continued to stare at Toby, eyes wide. “What the hell was that about?”

“None of your damn business.” He grunted turning back to his desk, “Get out”

“You hurt her again and you’ll have me to answer to!” Josh yelled.

“And what are you going to do, slap me around, don’t make me laugh. Now get out and take your pathetic little display of machoism else where.”

Josh stood glaring at him a few seconds more before he felt Donna tug his arm, pulling him out of the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

Alone again Toby sank into his desk chair, head in hands, wondering what the hell just happened.

CJ continued walking until she reached the ladies washroom, she locked the cubicle door and sank to the ground. She didn’t need to look in the mirror to know her face was red and the taste of blood indicated he had caught her with the splinters. She wasn’t going to cry, not over Toby Ziegler, she told herself, but as she moved her jaw and felt the pain the tears fell. As the sobbing subsided CJ curled up into a ball on the ground, hugging herself, hoping they would allow her time to pull herself together before they came looking.

CJ looked in the mirror and sighed at the face looking back. The cut was clearly visible on her cheek, and her eyes were red and puffy. For a second she was tempted to grab her bag and escape the building but that would only encourage them to come looking for her. She washed her face, and headed back to her office. 

The look on Carol’s face spoke volumes and CJ forced a smile to settle her assistant’s worries, before continuing into her office and closing the door. 

She gasped at the sight of the First Lady sat behind her desk.

“CJ”

“Ma’am”

“Cut the formalities.”

“Abbey, what can I do for you?” CJ asked focusing on the window.

“How about how you got the gash?”

“You already know how, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. What you want to know is why?”

Abbey stood up and moved round the desk to stand in front of CJ, “Okay, want to tell me what is going On, why there is an exclusion zone around you and Toby, and why the most vocal opponent of violence I know just threw something at you?”

CJ slumped on the couch, “I’ll take the fifth every time” she said cowering under the intense gaze. “Abbey, please I really can’t do this now”

“Fine, I’ll ask Toby” she announced opening the door striding towards the Communications Pen. 

CJ groaned as Carol came in the room.

“Henry’s going to do the briefing, I’ll keep anything else at bay, you clean up and I’ll get you a coffee,” Carol said earning herself a weak smile.

Toby’s office door was closed when Abbey reached it; she contemplated knocking but thought what the hell and pushed it open with force. 

Toby looked up about to yell at whoever had violated his sanctuary, stopping short when he saw the First Lady, eyes ablaze. He stood quickly, mentally cursing himself for not locking the damn door. 

Abbey stepped further into the room and closed the door behind her, she waited, the silence was evidence enough to Toby of her displeasure.

“Abbey, what can I do for you?” he asked keeping his voice even.

“You can tell me what the hell happened in here.”

“Taking the fifth isn’t an option?” Toby rubbed his forehead, the headache was coming.

“It didn’t work with CJ and it sure isn’t going to work with you,” She stated as he cringed at CJ’s name. “We’ll start with something easy, what have you two been fighting about?”

Easy, Toby thought, he wasn’t really sure himself. “It’s been a little tense round here, we were arguing to relieve the stress,” he replied.

Abbey watched his face; she could almost see his brain working as his eyes moved from side to side. “Not buying it. Truth Toby?”

“It’s none of your damn business,” He replied, “And don’t give me that ‘remember who I am’ look, you’ve always wanted to be treated like everyone else.”

Abbey smiled, “And you are the only one who’s ever stuck to it. Toby, talk to me, we’ve been friends since the first time you stood up to me. This thing with you and CJ…”

Toby sighed “I will sort it, but there are other people involved and it’s only fair to keep confidence.”

Abbey nodded, she was aware of how well Toby kept secrets, he had become her confidant during the campaign, and she more than anyone respected him for it. She squeezed his arm gently on the way out to let him know she was there if he needed her, and left him pondering when things had gotten so bad.

Toby picked up the phone and dialled the number from memory. When her assistant answered he said his name and was put through. 

She left him on hold a second longer than necessary, a game she liked to play to show him how unimportant he was. “Toby.”

“Andi, I need to see you.”

“Which bill do you wanna talk about, because I can probably squeeze in lunch tomorrow?”

“It’s not about a bill.” Something in his tone made her breath catch. “CJ and I got into a fight, I threw something, she got hit.”

Andi Wyatt felt her heart race as panic set in “half an hour, by the monument,.” she whispered as the receiver went down.

Toby left the West Wing immediately and walked to the monument. He needed to think, clear his head. The pitch had been involuntary, after weeks of baiting him CJ had finally pushed him over the edge, and the paperweight was the first thing that came to hand. Flinging it at the door he hadn’t thought about the possibility of it smashing and hitting CJ in the face. 

Andi was sat on a bench waiting for him. 

He slid in next to her and stared at his shoes. Neither spoke as each waited for the other, finally Andi sighed and spoke, “You hit CJ, Saint CJ, she who god put on this earth in perfection.”

“Andi” he warned, “Let’s not go there. I hit her, I lost my temper.”

“What the hell did she do to set you off?” She turned to look at him and was stunned by what she saw “This is about Sarah.”

“Yeah. She saw us together at a restaurant then yesterday Sarah stayed over and CJ saw her leaving this morning.”

Andi sighed “You haven’t told her about Sarah” he shook her head, “For Christ’s sake Toby, she is the last person you should have kept this from. Your first call, your best friend?”

“I realise that now, but I think it might be too late. I will be lucky to keep my job when the President finds out, and I can’t see CJ forgiving me in a hurry.”

“Why do you think she got so upset?” Andi asked trying to catch his eye.

“Probably the scandal.”

“Idiot. Toby. When is the last time CJ had a serious relationship? Who is the first person she calls when she needs someone?” 

He looked at her blankly. 

“She’s in love with you, has been for ages. I know it’s subtle, the looks, the way she squeezes your arm but god Toby everyone in Washington has been taking bets on you two for months.”

Toby looked visibly shaken as he took on board Andi’s words, events of the last two weeks finally making sense.

“You realise you’ve been in love with her too, right?” Andi whispered standing up, “Talk to her Toby, tell her about Sarah” Andi was walking away before he even registered her absence.

CJ had taken to pacing her office, Henry had taken over the briefings and with Carol fielding calls she had nothing to do. She had half-expected Josh to come storming in, incensed and wanted to make everything right but Donna was obviously sitting on him. 

CJ picked up the phone and dialled Ginger, as mad as she was at Toby, she knew she had overstepped the mark, her insinuations had been a little too blunt, and now she wanted to talk to him. 

Discovering he had left the building CJ found herself grabbing her bag and heading to her car when she got there she realised his was still parked. Not sure where to head CJ dialled his cell and was relieved to hear his voice. “Toby, where are you?”

“The monument”

“Wait, I’ll be there in ten,” she said hanging up the phone and increasing pace.

She found him still sat on the bench scribbling in his little yellow notepad. Observing him from a far she smiled, he looked so despondent. The last few weeks had been hard, she knew deep down it was easier to argue with him than actually talk about what was going on. Obviously he felt the same way, as he hadn’t backed down. CJ sat next to him and he looked at her, grimacing when he saw the cut and enflamed cheek. 

He reached out to touch her and she moved away. He returned to staring at his notepad.

“I’m not mad at you, not anymore anyway. I’m sorry for what I said, I know you better than that. It’s none of my business what you do outside of the office,” she stammered. “Sarah Danbury is a good woman, I hope you will be very happy together.”

Toby laughed and she glared in response, a retort on her lips. He spoke almost inaudibly “CJ, she’s not my lover she’s my daughter.” Toby smiled at her, “I was angry not about what you said but about who you said it.”

“You have a daughter?” CJ was stunned, she thought back to the ten years they had known each other and couldn’t remember anything being mentioned.

“I met Sarah’s mother in college. She was this tall, fiery redhead, with guys drooling over her. She chose me, a gawky, obnoxious politics student. We were together six months, she never returned the next semester. Eighteen years later I have a phonecall, hey you’re my dad.”

“Does Andi know?”

“Yeah. It pretty much killed our relationship. I can’t have any children, at least I couldn’t with Andi. To find out I was a father, well she couldn’t accept it.”

“I can only imagine. And Sarah, how does Sarah feel about having you as her dad,” CJ asked watching his face for signs of the earlier anger.

“Perhaps you can ask her yourself,” he replied gazing up at her. “CJ, Andi said something just now, and I was wondering…”

“If it’s true, probably. Did I know, not for sure, not until I saw her leaving this morning.”

Toby reached out to touch her cheek and this time she let him, “And I do this to you?”

“Toby, if someone had said the same things to you about me, what would you have done?”

He answered without thinking, “Knocked them into next Sunday.”

CJ sighed, “How do we keep getting ourselves into these messes? And how do we get ourselves out of this one?”

Toby stood up and began to pace, “CJ, if what Andi says is true do we have a chance at making it work?” 

She looked up at him, and pushed her hair out of her eyes, 

“I mean I’m not easy to live with, and now I have baggage.”

CJ stood and moved with him, “Tell me about her.”

“Oh CJ, she’s great. She reminds me a bit of you. She’s this grown up person, full of passion, optimism, from her mother I guess. You’ll like her. Hearing her call me dad for the first time was mind-blowing. She’s twenty five and a congresswoman, my daughter the politician.”

He stopped and caught her grinning at him, “What?”

“Toby, I swear you are almost glowing with pride. I’m sorry I made you angry. I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me” she asked, her voice almost inaudible.

“I don’t know, I didn’t want her to be a public part of all this” he announced waving his arms in the air, “And we are good friends I didn’t want this to come between us. I value your opinion more than anyone’s.”

“So you have a daughter, it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Throw something at me again and I might change my opinion.”

She chuckled as he growled in response, “I wasn’t throwing at you, it hit the door.”

“Then my friend you have a crap aim.”

“How do you feel about me?” He asked with an inkling of a smile.

CJ caught the expression on his face, “I don’t hate you, I get mad at you, but who doesn’t?”

He reached out and caught her hand, “CJ” he whispered.

“I love you” she whispered in response, taking her hand away.

“Okay” he said as his pager went off, “Damn it’s Leo. Can we talk later? Have dinner with us and we can really talk. If this was anyone but Leo I’d say to hell with it, but I’d rather get the roasting over with.” He smiled weakly at her.

CJ nodded and they walked back to the West Wing together.

Toby was right about the roasting. Abbey had seen fit to bypass her husband and instruct Leo to take the matter in hand. 

Toby managed to avoid apologising or explain exactly what was going on. He did however have the grace to look sheepish, which for Toby was a feat in itself, and informed Leo that he and CJ were sorting the matter out over dinner. 

Leo rubbed his forehead, his wrinkles compounding as he felt the beginning of a headache; he didn’t know which was worse, CJ and Toby fighting or the idea of CJ and Toby sleeping together. The vivid images of the last proposition were a little too much to handle right now and Leo had dismissed Toby with a few warning words.

The rest of the day went by without incident, Tony shut himself in his office, communicating only by internal phone and Henry took briefings leaving CJ to catch up on her reading. The others kept out of the way of both of them, Josh still angry at Toby, and Sam too concerned about both of them to want to get involved. 

When the President flew into a rage about the idea of Toby throwing things Abbey took him up to the residence and calmed him down in the only way she knew how. When he returned to work later Leo filled him in on the earlier conversation which left the President nursing his very own headache.

Toby dropped by CJ’s office at eight to pick her up. Neither said much as they left the West Wing and took Toby’s car across town. 

Kinkeads served the typical American array of food and was popular with people on the Hill, with Congress in session it was particularly full, and lucky that Toby had reserved a table. 

Sarah was waiting when they arrived, her long auburn hair tied up in a bun, nursing a glass of wine. 

CJ saw her first and unconsciously smoothed her skirt down and pushed her hair to one side. 

Sarah’s eyes went wide as she saw Toby’s companion and a tentative smile crossed her face. 

Toby greeted her with a gentle squeeze of the arm, “Sarah, I would like you to meet CJ, CJ, this is Sarah.”

He stepped back as the two women appraised each other. “Hi CJ, Dad has told me so much about you, it’s good to finally meet you.”

CJ shook the offered hand and continued to stare at the young woman, she was definitely Toby’s daughter, the wide brown eyes went deep into the soul and she had his strong Jewish nose. “Pleased to meet you Sarah, shall we sit?”

Toby sat between them and called the waiter over to order a round of drinks. 

Alone again Sarah guided the conversation. So are you and my father having sex?” Sarah asked CJ, a coolness to her voice.

CJ almost choked, “No” regaining her composure she continued, “We’re friends, good friends.”

“Do you have any children?”

“No.”

Toby settled back with his scotch as the twenty questions continued. 

CJ looked decidedly uncomfortable as Sarah fired personal questions at her while Sarah looked perfectly at ease. They lapsed into silence when the food came and Toby watched as the two women sized each other up.

CJ wasn’t quite sure what she had done or said to upset the girl. From the minute they had joined her Sarah had been off with CJ, asking probing questions, and leaving no chance for CJ to find out about her. Sarah’s eyes were also unwavering, filled with obvious distrust and resentment at CJ’s invasion. 

Toby excused himself to visit the washroom and CJ took her chance to find out what was wrong. “Sarah, have I done something to upset you? Would you rather I left?” CJ asked.

“I could care less what you do. My father on the other hand cares a lot.”

“I’m sorry, what is that supposed to mean?” CJ queried.

Sarah sighed, “You and The White House are all he ever talks about. CJ this, Josh that, it gets a little tedious. For seven years I’ve watched while he’s been screwed around by women, first Andi, and now you.”

“Toby and I…”CJ interrupted.

“Yeah, just good friends. He doesn’t see it like that; he’s in love with you. Or an image of you. I’ve been in Washington long enough to hear things about you, the long line of men you’ve rejected, the game of hardball you play to get what you want. You aren’t good enough for him.”

Sarah was hard and vicious and CJ was taken aback by the venom in her words, she didn’t know where this girl had got her information but it certainly wasn’t true.

Toby approached the table and found CJ bag in hand getting ready to leave.

“CJ, are you leaving?”

“Toby, I’ve got some work to finish up and I’m sure you two have things to discuss. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sarah, nice to meet you” she finished with barely a glance over her shoulder.

Toby watched her leave, torn between wanting to go after her and wanting to talk to his daughter.

“Dad, want some desert?” Sarah asked, handing him a menu.

Toby sat down and faced his daughter, “No, just coffee. Sarah what just happened?”

Sarah smiled at him, “Nothing CJ and I were just getting acquainted. I had lunch with Ann today, she asked after you, I suggested we have dinner sometime soon.”

Toby’s face fell, “You had lunch with Ann, Ann Stark? What did she have to say?”

“She’s my godmother, she was mum’s oldest and dearest friend. We had a nice chat, she told me about the misunderstanding you two had, she’s sorry.”

“It was a little more than a misunderstanding, she knifed me in the back, Sarah. And, she kept the fact I had a daughter from me, even after you got in contact she didn’t mention she knew. Ann is a player, she likes to win. What did she have to say?” he repeated, the pieces finally falling into place, “You talked about CJ.”

Sarah dropped her eyes to her hands fidgeting, “Yeah”

“And?”

Sarah continued to gaze at her fingers, “She told me all about CJ’s long line of rejected men, the fact she’s a bitch.”

Toby’s face began to colour as he listened to his daughter, “Oh hell Sarah, the woman’s poison. There was no misunderstanding, she’s paying me back for turning her down. As for CJ, she doesn’t love and leave them, she’s hardly dated since moving here, and she’s no bitch.”

Sarah slunk into the seat at his words. “It’s always about CJ, it didn’t cross your mind maybe I wanted it to just be the two of us.”

“Sarah” his voice was gentle, “I want to spend time with you but I also want you to spend time with my friends, to get to know them. The image you have of CJ is all-wrong. She’s important to me, you both are. I’m not going to spend my life with a her or me choice. I need to take you home now, I need to find CJ.”

Sarah sighed, “It’s okay, I don’t need a ride, I’ve got a date.”

Toby looked at her wide eyed and followed her gaze over his shoulder and saw Sam standing in the entrance. 

Sarah waved at him and he headed over. 

Sam’s jaw dropped at the sight of his boss and the young woman. “Hey Toby. Hey Sarah”

“Sam, you’ve met my father then” Sarah stated.

Sam looked stunned as Toby looked angry. “Father, Toby I didn’t even know you had a daughter, then again it took two years to discover you had a brother. Sarah, Toby’s my boss.”

Sarah grimaced, “You work in the White House then.”

“Yeah, I’m Deputy Communications Director. If there’s a problem we can call it off.” Sam offered avoiding Toby’s intense scrutiny.

“No, it’s fine, really,” Sarah replied, looking anything but fine. “Dad, we’re going to a club, I’ll speak to you tomorrow.” She added, kissing Toby on the cheek.

Sarah and Sam left the restaurant together deep in discussion.

 Toby paid the bill and headed into the night, trying various numbers on his cell phone but to no avail. CJ was not answering her phone and there weren’t many places she could go at night. Taking her key from his pocket he headed to her house, either she would be there or he would wait.

The apartment was in darkness when he let himself in and reached to turn on the light. A voice called out no and he stopped. Adjusting to the darkness he made her out, a dark figure curled up in a ball on the couch.

“CJ. I called but there was no answer.”

“Yeah, that’s because I didn’t feel like talking. Where’s Sarah?” She asked, a slight slur to her voice.

Toby sighed, “She’s on a date, with Sam of all people.”

“Oh. Really. Hey you should talk to Leo about that.”

Toby groaned, the mere thought of his daughter and Sam sent shivers down his spine, “I wanted to talk to you. About tonight, the last few weeks.”

“And if I don’t?” she snarled.

Toby sat down beside her and pulled her feet into his lap, “You can listen and I’ll talk. Sarah didn’t mean to upset you, she just had the wrong impression. If I told you her godmother was Ann Stark you’d probably understand why. I’ve put her right on that. Next time you two meet it should be easier.”

CJ shrugged her shoulders, “If there is a next time. There was more to tonight than Ann Stark’s crude comments. What have you told Sarah about me?”

“That you’re my closest friend, the person I can always rely on to get me out of a funk. I missed out the embarrassing stories but I pretty much told her everything else.”

“Which explains why she is so jealous, why the questions tonight. I guess she wants you all too herself.”

Toby wrapped an arm around her shoulders and dropped his voice, “CJ, I’ll tell you what I told her, this isn’t going to be a her or me choice. You are both important to me and I want, no need you to get along. I missed out on eighteen years of her life, we are only just getting to know each other, build a relationship, I can’t give that up. Sarah is a good person, ignoring her actions tonight I’m sure you two could be friends.” He took a deep breath and focused on her face in the darkness. “That said, I won’t lose you CJ. It’s taken ten years for me to realise how I feel, and at least two to be able to have this conversation. I’m not good with the emotional romantic stuff, if I had known we were going to be doing this I would have drafted a speech and let you read it.”

“Toby, I’m not looking for the romantic stuff, I’m not in my first flush of youth. I just want honesty without the arguing.”

“Okay. Honesty I can do. Andi says I’m in love with you. I want to be with you, I want to wake up every morning and have you there. I don’t want anyone else. I know I  don’t want to wake up four, ten or twenty years from now and realise I’ve lost you. Hell if I know if that’s love. I do know that hurting you hurts me more than you’ll ever know.” Toby stopped and waited for a response, when none came he continued, “CJ, what do you want?”

CJ muffled a yawn, “To get some sleep”

“Do you always have to apply humour to every situation?”

“I’m sorry. I’m jealous, or rather I was when I thought you were seeing someone else. I’ve never felt like that about you. I chose to argue because it got me your undivided attention.”

She placed her fingers on his lips to stop him interrupting. “I watch you wave your hands about and wonder what it would be like to have them on me. I know I’m in love with you. And I’ve been around you long enough to know how hellish it can get so you can’t get rid of me that easily. And baggage, I’m willing to try with Sarah, but I would never ask you to choose….” CJ stopped mid sentence as Toby parted his lips and began to kiss her fingertips.

CJ shivered at his touch and leaned forward to replace them with her lips. The first kiss was awkward, sloppy and wet with noses bumping. They parted and Toby moved forward again, the second kiss was harder, more intense and secured a deep moan from CJ. 

CJ’s arms wrapped around Toby’s neck pulling him closer and down on top of her to trap her on the sofa. The kisses deepened and Toby’s deft hands began to move over her body as his eyes locked with her. When they finally parted for breath they were a mixture of limbs, clothes askew and hands seeking new founded territory. 

CJ giggled and Toby looked at her, a grin hidden beneath his beard. “What?” he only mocked growled.

“We’re not in the first flushes of youth anymore Toby. As much as I’m enjoying this this isn’t the place, tomorrow we would be very stiff, and you’ve got a daughter to set an example to. Bedroom?” she suggested.

Toby extracted himself from her and helped her up, “You don’t think she and Sam are… you know?”

“What we’re about to do? For sure. I definitely want to be there for that conversation.” CJ pulled him towards the bedroom; “Right now I want to be actually doing it myself.” She grinned. 

They continued to the bedroom and collapsed on to the bed, Toby forgetting his daughter as he acquired a new intimacy of his friend of ten years.

The End

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