Title: Angel of Mine

Pairing: CJ/Leo

Rating: PG/ later NC17

Summary: This follows a Single Pregnant press Secretary.

Spoilers: This doesn’t really correlate with season three but just to be on the safe side up to and including it.

Angel of Mine

Chapter One

CJ held the small bundle in her arms. It had been a long night and she felt exhausted but it was all worth it as she looked into the little green eyes. The delivery had been difficult and had it not been for Abbey she wasn’t sure she would have made it through. Abbey had arrived immediately, talked her through every step of the way and when CJ had been unable to make any further decisions Abbey had taken over. Now Abbey was somewhere in the hospital talking to her husband and, looking at the time, probably the boys. They had been truly wonderful during the pregnancy but had all balked at the idea of being there at the delivery. Not that she minded, she hadn’t really wanted them to see her in quite that way. The tiny child began to cry and CJ unbuttoned her nightshirt allowing her to latch on. She didn’t hear the door open and Abbey step in until the older woman was standing over her.

‘She’s going to be a contented baby,’ Abbey observed, ‘have you thought of a name?’

CJ smiled, ‘Grace. It seemed much more plausible than Josh’s suggestions.’

‘He sends his love and will be in later. Jed is trying to twist Ron’s arm to let him come now but I suggested he let you rest. Is there anything you need?’ Abbey asked stroking the baby’s head.

‘No, we’re fine. And thanks for everything.’

Abbey leaned in and placed a light kiss on her forehead, ‘anytime.’

She left the room and took one last look over her shoulder as CJ caressed the baby whispering softly to her.

CJ awoke when she sensed someone in the room and shifted slightly so as not to wake the baby only to realise the baby was gone. Opening her eyes she adjusted to the light and the figure talking to the baby, he turned at the rustling of the sheets.

‘I didn’t mean to wake you, need a hand?’

She shook her head and sat up, ‘How long have you been here?’

‘Not long, a meeting got cancelled and I thought I’d check in. She’s beautiful. You did good kiddo.’

CJ grinned, ‘Abbey says she must have a lot of her father in her.’

Leo turned at the words, ‘You told her?’

CJ shook her head, ‘I haven’t told anyone. She’s either guessed or is hinting she wants to know.’

Grace let out a huge cry.

‘Pick her up.’ He looked at her in panic. ‘Leo, support her head and hold her close.’

He did as he was told and carried her over to her mother, holding her out. CJ shook her head, ‘You can hold her for a while. Grace, this is your daddy.’

The baby opened her eyes and he felt her look into his soul.

‘CJ.’

‘Leo, she’s five hours old, and the future is something none of us are ready for. Just enjoy it. Do the press know?’

‘Henry told them at the briefing, he also issued an official warning about disturbing your privacy. They are going to ask questions about the father.’

‘And I’ll resign before I answer them,’ she replied resolutely.

‘You’ll do no such thing,’ announced a voice booming into the room.

Leo spun around rapidly to face his friend, ‘Mr President?’

Jed Bartlet crossed the room and pulled back the covers on the child, noting the big green eyes and sandy hair. He looked back up at his two friends and grinned. Leaning forward he placed a kiss on CJ whispering, ‘Another heartbreaker in the West Wing.’

Turning towards the door he barked commands, ‘Wait outside, no one comes in, and organise a guard for the room.’ The detail did as they were bid leaving the three of them alone in the closed room.

‘Sir, that’s not necessary,’ CJ tried.

‘It is, it’s to keep Josh and Sam out as much as the press,’ he smiled at her, ‘besides I want to talk to you both.’

That should have been the first sign that they were about to be lectured, the second was when he told Leo to sit down.

‘Abbey and I have been patient, watching from the sidelines and not interfering. She has advised me now is not a good time to say my piece either but as usual I choose to ignore her. So what are you two planning to do about this situation?’

‘Sir?’

‘Leo. I’m just surprised no one else has worked it out. You’re lucky CJ has the same colouring or everyone would guess. Grace looks just like Mallory did at that age.’

Leo looked at CJ and back at his oldest friend before speaking, ‘Sir, we…’

The President motioned for him to shut up, ‘I don’t care how it happened and I certainly don’t want to hear the phrase it was a mistake, you just have to look at her to know it wasn’t. I’m asking where you plan on going from here. She is your responsibility, and don’t tell me you can stand on the outside and watch CJ bring her up alone, that’s not the man you are. And CJ, you wouldn’t deny him his own child?’

CJ sat up straighter, ‘Of course I wouldn’t but there’s more at stake than our needs.’

‘Really CJ, there’s not. Grace is a gift, God gave her to both of you, and the rest doesn’t matter. I have faith you will come to some understanding.’

With that he left. Leo looked at CJ and grimaced at the flush covering her face.

‘I’m sorry you had to go through that, I’ll talk to him, explain. I should go.’

‘Yeah.’

Leo handed her the tiny bundle of white and crossed to the door. He stopped and watched his daughter lying contentedly in her mother’s arms. He wasn’t really sure how to fix it, but he knew he had to do something.

Chapter Two

CJ had moved the tiny crib closer to the bed so she could watch Grace sleep. She had never really wanted to be a mother, and finding herself pregnant had been a shock. The issue of abortion had never come up and when she had considered adoption she had thought of Leo and how he would always hate her. Telling her friends had been the easy part, after the initial shock they had encircled her with love and support. Josh and Sam had painted the nursery, the assistants had made cardigans and blankets and all sorts of gifts for the baby and even Toby had stepped up to defend her. Normally she would have kicked his arse to kingdom come but she had been overtaken by emotions and sat by while he straightened out the Christian Right and firmly taken the Press Corp to task. It wasn’t therefore unexpected when he turned up in the middle if the afternoon bearing flowers. He peaked around the door, checking she was awake and then pushing himself in. CJ looked up and smiled, things were still awkward between them but neither was willing to let the many years of friendship disappear.

‘Hey,’ she said.

‘Hey yourself. These are from the girls,’ he announced placing them on the ledge. ‘This is from me.’

He handed over a small blue book, CJ opened it and gasped.

‘Toby, this is too much.’

He shrugged, ‘You wanted to do this alone. You’ll need money for college, for cars. It’s the least I could do.’

She motioned him over and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He blushed as he walked around the bed and looked down at the sleeping child. It didn’t take long for his brain to work. He continued to stare at her daughter and she watched the realisation register.

‘Toby?’

‘Does he know he’s the father?’ he asked, anger barely hidden.

‘Yes. I told him the day I announced it to all you.’

He grunted, ‘And he didn’t want to help?’

CJ shook her head and tried to pull herself up but winced at the discomfort, ‘Can you sit down if we’re going do this.’

Toby looked at her and saw the strain in her face, he sat on the edge of the bed.

‘He has helped by being my friend, just as you have. I made the decision to do this alone. With the campaign and the MS thing it didn’t seem a good time to make it public. And it wasn’t as if we were in a relationship or anything.’ She paused and frowned at the scowl on his face. ‘Toby, don’t be angry.’

‘I would have taken care of you, married you. I was willing to do anything.’ The sentence hung in the air.

CJ squeezed his arm, ‘But I don’t love you, at least not like that, and it wouldn’t work. I still want you in her life, in my life. Grace can learn a lot from you. Passion, trust, humour. And all the skills to deal with Laurel and Hardy.’

Toby flashed her a smile, ‘They’re coming in later. I don’t want to lose you CJ. Leo’s a fool if he doesn’t take this chance to have both of you.’

She sighed, ‘Yeah, the President’s already given us a hard time. Is it that obvious?’ She didn’t need to elaborate, Toby and her had long communicated in part sentences.

‘Sam is blind, and Josh is so caught up in being Uncle Josh he won’t notice. It will be obvious as she grows up.’

‘Yeah, by then we’re be out of office and hopefully Leo can acknowledge her.’

‘Grace, what happen to Dorothy, Eliza, and Agapanthur?’

CJ laughed for the first time all day, ‘Josh watches way too many movies. By the Grace of god.’

Toby squeezed her arm, ‘Well Claudia, I must be going, I’m in charge of the rabble this afternoon. She’s going to be the beauty, just like her mom.’ He kissed them both gently and left.

The agent knocked gently on the door and entered. CJ looked up from her position on her side reading.

‘Miss Cregg, I have Mr Lyman and Mr Seabourn outside, is it okay if they come in?’

CJ smiled in response, the President had not been joking about keeping them out. They filed in individually, Josh first, his face hidden by the giant white rabbit he was carrying, Sam behind carrying a box and Donna at the rear, a bag in each hand.

‘Hey,’ CJ called shifting slightly to sit up and regretting it, ‘What’s his name?’

‘Who’s?’ Josh asked appearing from behind the white mass.

‘She means the bunny, geez Josh. Hi CJ,’ Donna whispered leaning in to kiss her and placing the bags on the bed, ‘Bugs is from Josh and I, the box is from the press corp and the bags are from Sam and the communications staff.’ She stepped away from CJ and peered into the crib and began to coo.

‘Donna, it cries, its pukes and does unspeakable things in it’s nappy,’ Josh began as he moved to stand behind her. He stopped as he caught the first glimpse of sandy hair and pink skin, ‘Aah.’

Sam shuffled over and sighed at the baby, CJ grinned totally forgotten by her friends.

‘And I thought you came to see me?’

They turned to face her, three grinning faces with an equally glazed expression.

‘So how long have Grace and you got to stay in?’ Sam asked perching on the edge of the bed.

CJ made a face, ‘four days, being an older mum, blah, blah. By which time you will all be on the otherside of the country campaigning.

‘Not me,’ Josh said grinning, ‘someone had to stay behind to run things and I volunteered. So if you need anything Donna and I are a phonecall away.’

CJ grinned. She had to admit the idea of spending her first few days at home without her friends nearby was daunting. Her parents were too frail to fly across country to help and she had few close friends that weren’t involved in the campaign. Josh would be no use when it came to caring for the newborn but he would indeed keep her spirits up, and Donna would be there for the practical things.

‘I’m guessing Grace better get used to kung po chicken and pizza then,’ Sam offered, ‘seeing as none of you can cook. Anyway we have to go, there’s a campaign meeting. Hope you like the presents.’

Sam kissed her on the cheek and headed out the door, Donna followed closing the door behind her.

Josh hovered and finally sat down on the bed, ‘You okay CJ? I mean do you need me to call anyone?’

CJ looked across into his eyes and noted the meaning behind his words, ‘Josh, we’re fine. He knows.’ She reached across and squeezed his hand, ‘Now get outta here and try and keep out of trouble.’

Josh ran his fingers through his hair and smirked, ‘What me? As if.’

‘Joshua.’

He turned as he got to the door and blew a kiss, ‘I’ll even keep out of the Press Room.’

CJ watched him go as Grace let out a cry to let her know it was food time.

Chapter Three

CJ managed a month of maternity leave before she became bored; as much as she enjoyed spending time with Grace she missed the Press Corps and her spin boys, and from the constant phone calls they missed her. In a particularly low moment she had mentioned it to Abbey and within hours the President had called her at home and asked what she needed to return to work. Due to the nature of her job and her surroundings it was decided Grace would accompany her to the office. The exercise bike and armchair were removed, to be replaced by a travel cot and bouncy chair. For the first few days CJ worked part time allowing Grace to become accustomed to the assistants and CJ to get back into the swing. When CJ was briefing Donna or Carol would mind the child and the rest of the time CJ could concentrate on her work without worrying about a nanny. The system worked while Grace was immobile and it was not uncommon for CJ to return and find The President or senior staff reading briefing papers to the giggling child. As soon as Grace learnt to crawl CJ hired a child minder (vetted heavily by the secret service) to watch her during the day, and on weekends and late nights Grace would find her way back into the West Wing. She was the darling of the White House, doted on by everyone who came into contact with her. When CJ elected not to have her christened, instead opting for a naming ceremony Josh, Sam and Toby became honoury godparents.

On election night CJ travelled to New Hampshire to be part of the occasion. Grace was tucked up in the family nursery, still painted in the pale pink from Zoey’s infancy, while CJ joined the others to watch President Bartlet win by the smallest margin ever. While everyone was celebrating nobody noticed Leo slip out.

He shuffled into the nursery and turned on the table lamp. Grace lay on her side, her thumb in her mouth, the covers pulled up over her. The sandy hair now had tinges of red, from her mother or her sister he wasn’t sure, but she definitely had the McGarry nose. Leo stood over her, enjoying the moment and talking quietly to her.

‘So Gracie, we won, that means another four years of watching you from afar. But you should know I love you very much and I’m not going to be far away. Of course you are going to have a proper daddy one day, mommy will fall in love and get married. Whatever happens you will still have all of us. Josh and Sam are a little drunk right now but we can let them off this once. Toby smiled, he usually saves that for you. I think he knows, but he wouldn’t hurt you or Mommy. Mommy is talking to the Press, I’m really proud of the way she’s handled them the past few months. The President and Abbey are making out, you can ask your mommy about that when you’re older. And I’m with my favourite girl. Whatever happens sweetheart you can come to me, if mommy is in trouble I will do everything I can to help.’ Leo sighed and bent down to stroke her hair, curling the tiny tufts around his fingers.

He failed to hear the door open and a figure enter. She crossed the room and whispered quietly to him, ‘I thought I might find you here,’ Abbey started, ‘Jed wants everyone together.’

Leo pulled back from his daughter, ‘How long have you been there?’

Abbey formed a small smile, ‘I’ve been outside a while. You should tell her how you feel.’

His eyebrows rose in question.

‘Leo, I’ve seen you watching her, I know how hard it is not being part of Grace’s life.’

He shook his head, ‘CJ is a great mum and we are all there to help. We promised at the beginning that her friends would be there for her.’ He headed for the door, pausing by the frame to call over his shoulder, ‘Four years Abbey.’

Abbey watched him go, a sad smile on her face, her eyes misted over. She couldn’t really imagine what the past nine months had been like for him. She knew for a fact Leo didn’t sleep around, since Jenny there had been no one, except of course CJ, which only reassured her he was in love. Since Grace’s birth he had become more isolated, unable to acknowledge she was his daughter or show her all the love he failed to show Mallory. Abbey knew that if it came to a choice between Leo being in pain and losing the election Jed would have stepped down. Now Leo watched from a far, cherishing the moments he had with Grace. Well, she decided, she wasn’t going to let him spend another four years in his own personal hell, he was her friend and so was CJ, and her speciality was gentle persuasion.

Chapter Four

After the election things became hectic around the West Wing with preparations for Thanksgiving and for the inauguration. There was little time for the staff to become involved in private matters. Fall turned to Winter and the staff, for perhaps the first time since taking office got to go home for Christmas. CJ spent a week in California showing Grace off to family and friends before returning to work and the inauguration. Abbey watched her with a heavy heart juggling long days and Grace's ever-increasing mobility. Leo did much the same, hoping she would ask for his help, instead she struggled on, becoming more drained.

February brought Grace's first Birthday and gave the staffers something else to celebrate. After months of preparation Abbey finally got to put her plan into action. The night before Grace’s Birthday she organised Donna and Josh to baby-sit and invited CJ to the residence for dinner. CJ was reluctant to leave the child, and miss out on precious moments with her, but with much persuasion, from Josh as much as anyone, she relented. She left her office at seven and made her way into the main building and took the elevator. It shouldn't really have surprised her to find she wasn't the only dinner guest but she had not expected to find herself one of many. Leo was already there chatting with a small blonde woman she didn't recognise and two old friends of Abbey's were joking with the President. It was then she caught Abbey's eye and was motioned over.

'CJ, good to see you,' Abbey led her the few steps to the only other person in the room. 'May I introduce Edwin; he's an oncologist at Johns Hopkins. Edwin, this is our CJ.' With that she returned to her husband’s side and watched her plan in action.

CJ sighed at the obvious matchmaking and struggled to make conversation. Her hands fidgeted as she watched companion appraise her with his eyes.

'How long have you known Abbey?'

'Too long. She was the Registrar when I was in med school. And you?' He smiled and she smiled back.

'Just over five years though it does seem longer. We met when I joined the campaign.'

CJ watched him as he began to chat about his job. He was strangely familiar, the dark curly hair and dimples, the constant smiling and hand gestures. He was going into detail about a new chemo drug when Abbey rejoined them, 'I thought you might like a glass of wine CJ. Dinner's ready if you would both like to follow me.'

She felt his arm at her back and it made her strangely uncomfortable. He was neither her friend nor someone she knew well and she did not enjoy someone taking liberties when they had only just met. CJ found herself seated between Edwin and the President and with both of them talking incessantly over dinner she easily slipped into another world. She glanced around the room and caught Leo staring back. He grinned conspiratorially and motioned with his head to his companion. She was monopolizing the conversation, giggling loudly and waving her hands about nervously. She reminded CJ of Ainsley and the very thought sent a shiver down her spine. If Abbey was setting Leo up with Ainsley who the hell was Edwin reminiscent of. At least Leo was enjoying himself she noted, laughing at his companion’s jokes, but the notion also made her slightly antsy. Leo was still staring, a silent question in his eyes. CJ nodded and moved her hand down to her waist. She looked at the small black box and subtly coughed to interrupt the gathering.

'Excuse me Mr President, Leo have you got your pager?'

He looked at her blankly.

'We're being paged,' she stated, her eyebrows rising to indicate he should follow her lead.

Leo quickly allowed a grin to cross his face and disappear again, 'Excuse us, we will be back as soon as we can.'

The President merely grunted and motioned for them to leave. They barely looked at Abbey as they dashed for the door. Safely in the elevator CJ giggled.

'You could have warned me.'

He looked at her blankly, 'About what?'

CJ went wide eyed, 'Abbey's matchmaking plot, you and Ainsley's mother, me and dimples.'

'Oh god, you're joking. She told me Amelia was in town for a few days and would I be nice to her. That explains the Josh clone for you.' He grinned at her, 'You and Josh, Abbey is quite hysterical sometimes.'

CJ hit him gently on the arm, 'There is no way. Anyway what do we do now?'

'There is no pager emergency?'

CJ shook her head, 'You looked like you needed rescuing. If we stick around we will get dragged back.'

'We make a habit of rescuing each other. You should go home, I’m going to hide in my office.'

'Or...' CJ started, 'We could hide out at yours, have a coffee. If I go home I have to face Josh and Donna.'

Leo watched her for a second, a thousand different scenarios going through his head. Since that night it seemed they had gone out of their way not to be alone together, having her in his apartment would do nothing to alleviate the feelings he was having for her. If anything it would only make them stronger. He wasn't sure why then he agreed so easily to coffee.

They took separate cars, arriving within seconds of each other. Leo left her in the living room as he made his way into the kitchen and began to make coffee. CJ wandered around the room gazing at the paintings on the wall and browsing through the books. It was probably the first time any of them had been there since he moved in. Leo was intensely private, preferring to keep his personal and private lives separate and his apartment reflected that. In a corner of the room he had his desk set up, piled up with papers, the rest of the room was neat and organised, the home of a man who loved reading, classical music and fine things. CJ stopped by the mantle to study the photographs. In amongst the traditional wedding day and baby photos were ones from the campaigns, the first term, a picture of two best friends from their twenties. Finally her eyes came to rest on a photo not a year old of herself and Grace. She remembered it being taken by Zoey, her own copy on her desk. She turned at the sound of his footsteps and stopped.

'I didn't realise you had this.'

Leo grinned, 'You would be surprised how many people have a copy. So you think I'm about to be fixed up with the republican sex kitten?'

CJ laughed, 'You really didn't see it. They could be sisters, blonde babes on speed. Obviously Abbey's agenda for this term is to marry us all off.'

'And she thinks Josh and you.' He was smiling but his eyes weren't. 'Don't see it, you'd kill him in a week.'

They chatted comfortably about the West Wing for the next hour. For the first time in months she stopped worrying about her daughter and clock watching. Despite everything Leo was still the person she knew she could always rely on. Going to him that night had been on impulse and she had to admit his friendship was still something she valued above any other. As she got up to leave she kissed him lightly on the cheek, leaving him yearning for more and her feeling strangely at peace.