Title: The Butterfly House
Pairing: CJ/Hoynes
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to and including The Stormy Present, anything beyond that and this is AU
Summary: “To support CJ’s foray into porn.”
Completed: March 29th 2004
~~~~~~
“You know John, I can think of other ways we could be getting in shape,” CJ puffed, watching her breath swirl through the cold air.
John Hoynes glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her. He’d had the same thought at two am but she had been sleeping too soundly for him to want to disturb her.
Even at six am on Sunday morning the park wasn’t empty. No-one seemed too disturbed by the fact it was February and snow still covered the ground, except CJ.
CJ had awoken around five and found her new flat mate dressed and sipping coffee. After much discussion and a steaming hot caffeine fix she had unwillingly slipped into sweat pants and as many layers as she could find. The Keys had spoilt her and she longed once more for lazy days and heat, oh how she longed for heat.
John on the other hand was thriving, or at least he seemed to be. After rehab and his vacation he was intent on getting his life back on track. The extra pounds were falling off with his daily fitness regime and he’d attended several interviews the previous week. CJ only hoped something came up soon, if only so they could afford a larger apartment.
“I promise as soon as we get back you can crawl back into bed with your papers and yoghurt,” he called, once more upping the pace, his newly toned legs striding ahead of her.
At this rate, CJ concluded, all she’d be doing when they got back was sleeping. Taking the deepest breath she could muster, she tried once more to keep up with him.
~~~~~
An hour later CJ unlocked the apartment door and headed inside. Tossing the newspapers and keys on the desk, she pulled the jacket over her head.
“You’d be proud of me. I only bought three papers,” she called into the apartment. At the sound of running water, she smiled to herself. John, naked, and in the shower, sounded like the ideal pick me up. The T-shirt joined the jacket and trainers in the corner. Crossing the room, she pulled off her socks one by one. The track bottoms slid down her long legs leaving her in a tank top and panties.
“John’s in the shower,” a gruff voice mumbled from the kitchenette.
CJ jumped and her eyes darted to the open door. “Toby!!”
He shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes grazing over her body before returning to her face.
“What the hell?”
“I called. You didn’t answer. So I thought I’d surprise you,” he growled, walking into the room and dropping onto her old office couch.
“Stay there,” she ordered, disappearing into the bedroom. Her perfectly planned day had just been blown to smithereens, not to mention the fact he had seen John in her apartment. She groaned audibly and slipped into her dressing gown. “This is just what I need.”
“We have a visitor,” John announced, his voice a mixture of annoyance and mirth.
CJ turned sharply, fully prepared to give him her death glare. Instead her eyes fell to his virtually naked torso. The tiny white hand towel doing little to hide his modesty. She swallowed and mentally added Toby’s visit to the list of things he needed to make up to her. “So I see.”
“I guess our secret’s out.”
“You don’t say?”
John raised an eyebrow and ran his fingers through his wet hair. “How long is he staying?”
“How the hell should I know?” She stopped herself. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . It’s bad timing.”
He nodded. They had arrived back two weeks ago and they were still adjusting to the changes in their relationship. He still had no job, CJ had fought to keep hers. The one bedroom apartment gave them little space for that all important time on their own and they had yet to talk. Toby’s impromptu visit wasn’t going to make things any easier.
“I need to see what he wants,” she offered finally, losing herself in the deep grey eyes of her lover, wanting nothing less than to jump him there and then.
“I’ll go to the grocery store. The least we can do is feed him,“ John said.
CJ grinned mischievously, her fingers lightly brushing his chest. “Like that?”
He shook his head, grabbing her hand and lifting her palm to his lips. “This is reserved for you.” He kissed her hand gently. “Go.”
With a wag of her hips, CJ returned to the living room. The guest was nowhere to be seen.
“I’d just about given up on you,” Toby growled, reappearing in the kitchen doorway.
CJ had to smile. He was as she remembered, hair unkempt, sweater rolled up to his elbows.
“I’ve made coffee, you have the real stuff, I’m amazed. Do you actually eat here?” he asked with teasing.
“Shut up.” CJ settled herself on the arm of a chair, wrapping the towelling robe around her knees. “Toby,” she started more softly. “It’s eight thirty in the morning, this is New York. What are you doing here?”
Toby disappeared for a second, reappearing moments later to hand her a mug and taking the chair opposite. “You and Hoynes, eh?”
She inwardly groaned. It was like pulling teeth trying to get Toby to open up.
“Toby!”
He shrugged. “I thought there might be traffic later.”
John walked out of the bedroom, zipping his jacket up as he crossed the room. He took one glance at the room and mentally decided to try the market across the village. “I’m just going shopping.”
Toby raised an eyebrow.
“Shut up.”
Both men stared at her.
“Not you, him,” she grumbled at John. “How long are you going to be?”
John moved closer to the couch, blocking Toby’s view of her. “Not long. I will be back . . .,” he trailed off. Leaning in, he planted a chaste kiss on her cheek.
As soon as the door closed behind him there was silence.
“Very romantic.” Toby almost smiled, his eyes dark and foreboding.
CJ glared at him, the corners of her mouth twitching up. “The sex is great.” Her smile widened as he rolled his eyes and growled something inaudible.
“So what are you doing here?”
“Can’t I just drop by and see a friend? . . . There’s been some concern that you might have disappeared.”
He told her everything she needed to know in a single sentence. Her friends were concerned about her, Toby missed her. She reached out and squeezed his knee.
“As you can see, I’m fine.”
“And him?” It had been bothering him since he’d arrived. Toby had rung the buzzer continuously before realizing she wasn’t home. Minutes later Hoynes had appeared. It had been a strained conversation before John had invited him up, even more awkward as they squared off in the living room.
“It’s hard to explain . . .,” she started, not wanting to put the kiss of death on the relationship. “It’s new.”
Toby grinned despite himself. He had never seen her quite so flushed, quite so in love, there was no other way of putting it. A pang of jealousy twisted his stomach.
“I’m staying.” He stretched out his legs and made himself comfortable on the couch. “So why don’t you take a shower and tell me all about it.”
CJ sighed deeply. It was going to be a long day she decided as she strode into the bedroom.
~~~~~~
John had headed for Starbucks, grabbing a newspaper on the way, when he’d left the apartment. He wanted to be out of the way as long as possible if only to hide his emotions. To say he’d been a little pissed to find Toby on the doorstep was an understatement. Jealousy had sparked as Toby had made himself comfortable in the apartment. That had been the real reason for heading for the shower instead of waiting for CJ as he usually did. The overnight bag had made it clear Toby was staying a while and to state John was unhappy was putting it mildly.
Two hours later he had finally given up and walked back to the apartment, fully intending to hide in the bedroom on the pretense of having letters to write.
Opening the door, John juggled the shopping sacks.
“Hey,” CJ called, her head laid back on the arm of the couch, her legs draped over Toby’s lap. Somehow as they had been talking, he had begun to rub her feet and ankles. Now that she was comfortable, CJ was loathe to move. “I was thinking of sending out a search party.”
“Yeah.” He slammed the door closed with his foot and moved into the kitchen. “We needed more than I thought.”
He was putting groceries in the refrigerator when he felt her arms wrap around his waist.
“Need a hand?” she asked quietly.
“Whatever.”
CJ inwardly sighed and allowed her fingertips to brush lower. “I’m sorry this isn’t the Sunday we had planned . . . He’s only visiting tonight . . . They were worried about me . . . I will make it up to you,” she whispered in a single breath, leaving him under no illusion as to how.
Her warm breath against his ear made him shiver. “Promise?”
“Yes.”
John allowed his body to relax, forgetting his anger for a moment, to turn in her embrace and brush his lips across her cheek. “I’ll start brunch?”
“That there is why I love you,” she murmured, reaching around him to grab a can of iced tea from the fridge. “Need a hand?”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “I wasn’t planning on us eating microwave dinners.”
Her hand made contact with his arm and she turned and left the kitchen.
~~~~~
“I guess I’m on the couch,” Toby commented, appearing in the bathroom door in his sweats and a T-shirt.
CJ glanced at John, his eyes dancing a strange opal color before she turned back to Toby. “Yeah. I’ve left you blankets and pillows.” Giving him a smile, she added, “I’ll see you before I leave in the morning.”
“Where does he normally sleep?” John asked, his tone low, as the bedroom door closed.
There were times she could kill her friends. It had already been a long day. Brunch had gone fine but there had been an air of awkwardness as she shifted between catching up with Toby and keeping her boyfriend happy. Finally the three of them had sat in silence watching the constant stream of made for TV movies that characterized Sunday evening television.
With a deep breath, she said, “With me. We get drunk . . .fall into bed . . .and sleep.”
“Cosy.”
“Not exactly. He snores worse than you do.” She tried to lighten the mood. It failed. “Okay, we’re old friends. Nothing more. I’m not going to leave you for him.”
John pulled down the covers and climbed into bed. “Well that’s good to know.” Sarcasm laced his words.
She wanted to scream, instead she pulled off her sweater and threw her pants across the room. “Fine.”
“Fine?” He blinked. “That’s not like you.”
“I don’t want to argue. It’s been a long day. I just want to curl up with you and go to sleep.”
John grinned and patted the mattress beside him. He didn’t want to fight either. It just seemed to happen where they were concerned. At some point they needed to talk but with their house guest it wasn’t the time.
~~~~~~
CJ woke up with a smile on her face, John’s arm draped across her breasts, his lips working their way down her throat.
“Mmm.”
He blew lightly on her skin, nipping her gently.
“John,” she breathed as his hand moved lower. “Oh yeah.”
He pushed the sheet away from her body as he moved until he was on top of her. His fingers began to work their magic and CJ arched her back.
She was beginning to get lost in the moment when realisation hit. CJ sighed, “We can’t. . . next door . . .Toby.” She felt John stiffen as he rolled off of her. “John.”
“You’ll be late.”
It wasn’t meant to be this hard, she decided. You met someone, fell in love, and . . . Well she wasn’t sure what happened next, it had never happened to her. It just wasn’t meant to be difficult.
“Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?” she suggested, running her hand over his arm. “We can go to the steakhouse.”
“Whatever.”
She inwardly groaned and bit her tongue. “I’ll see you at seven.”
Fifteen minutes later John was in the shower and Toby was sprawled across her couch watching CNN as she headed out of the apartment, calling out goodbye to the two men in her life.
~~~~~~
CJ left work at seven in a conscious effort not to be late for once. She had been dreading the conversation since she had suggested it that morning but they couldn’t go on in the same vein for much longer. They needed to put the past behind them and move on, she just wasn‘t sure how.
John was already waiting for her. He’d been home she noted, his business attire exchanged for a chunky knit sweater and pants.
“Hey.” She gave him a smile as she shrugged out of her coat and handed it to the hostess.
John allowed her to kiss his cheek. “How was your day?”
She took the chair opposite and picked up a menu. “Same old. Did Toby get off okay?”
He nodded and pushed a glass of water towards her. “Shall we order first?” Not that he was stalling merely that he wanted to enjoy her company before things became difficult.
The atmosphere was strained as they ordered dinner and made small talk. Neither really sure how the evening was going to end.
“Where do you want to start?” John asked, finally pushing his entrée away.
“How about with Toby?”
He groaned. He hadn’t meant for it to be so loud. “He’s just so . . .”
“Yeah, but he’s my best friend,” she offered firmly. Toby might be a monumental pain in the arse but she loved him and he was always going to be a big part of her life. The sooner both men got used to the idea the better.
“Thought that was supposed to be my job,” John snarked, spearing his steak with a touch of venom.
CJ took a lengthy sip of her water and mentally prepared herself. “Okay, he’s my oldest friend. And I’m glad he knows.”
They lapsed into silence.
“You followed me to the Keys and since we got back well it’s not like it was,” he accused, not really wanting to talk about Toby.
“We’re not on vacation any more. We both have jobs, bills to pay. It doesn’t mean my feelings have changed.”
John reached across and touched her hand. “I’m not questioning how you feel. But sometimes it isn’t enough.”
The sharp intake of breath was a shock to them both.
“Are you trying to tell me you’re gonna leave?”
“Do you want me to?” He sounded as surprised as she was.
“No.”
They stared at their entwined hands.
“This isn’t getting as very far, is it?” CJ asked rhetorically. “But then I guess when someone says we need to talk it’s never likely to go very well.” It was becoming so emotionally charged that it wasn’t going to get them anywhere.
His fingers stroked her knuckles sending a surge of electricity through her body. “We could break the mould. Be honest.”
“You go first.”
John closed his eyes and counted to five. He wanted it to work, them to work, but to do that he needed to do something he’d forgotten how to do - trust. It wasn’t easy to do.
“John?” CJ slipped her hand out from under his and placed it on top, rubbing his knuckles gently with her thumb.
“What are we doing here?” It came out exasperated.
“I thought we were dating . . .,” she replied quietly, “. . .courting . . .” Her hand moved through the air as she tried to find the right word. “Am I wrong?”
“I know moving in together after five days was crazy but it’s the only thing in my life I’ve never had any second thoughts about.” He was a career politician but for the first time in his life he couldn’t find the words. “I missed you when I was in rehab.”
“I missed you,” CJ admitted, lifting her eyes to study him.
“Walking into that bar changed everything.”
CJ smiled weakly. “So we agree on that. We want to be together.”
“What else do you want?”
“To put the past behind us.” She ducked her head until they locked eyes. “I don’t care about the scandal, about the past. It’s done. You’ve completed rehab, we can find you meetings here and move on. I wanna come home to you every night, wake up with you every morning.”
Waking up with her every morning was something he had become accustomed to very quickly. She liked to sleep naked, spooned against his back as though she could protect him from everything. He loved waking to the feel of her arms around him, watching her sleep.
“What if you become my latest addiction. What if I can’t get through a day without you. What if I need you. . .” he trailed off, allowing his fears to finally find a voice.
“I’m not going anywhere.” She leaned in closer and lowered her voice. “It comes back to trusting me.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“We’re going to have problems and fight but it has to be about us now not what happened to us in the past.”
John turned his hand over and pressed his palm to hers. “We need a new apartment. Somewhere with more space.” Somewhere where they could be together but still keep their identities. In truth somewhere that was theirs.
Suddenly CJ wanted to go home, to be alone with him, not in a room full of people.
“One more thing . . .” she started, feeling for the first time in two weeks that they were on the same track. “I’m not going to tell the others about us. It’s not because I am ashamed or think it won’t last. I need this to be about us. But if someone asks me directly I’m not going to deny we’re together.”
John released her hand and reached in his pocket for his wallet. “The only person I want to share this with is you.” Throwing a handful on bills on the table, he motioned for them to leave.
He held the door open as CJ stepped out into the cold night air, wrapping her coat tightly around her. As the door closed, he reached down and entwined his fingers with hers. “You should really wear gloves.”
“I remember buying someone else gloves,” she offered glibly.
“Um.” He smiled and stole a glance at her face. “I wanted you to remember when I run my hands across that sexy little body of yours later.”
Her reaction was as expected - a glare and a smack across his chest with her free hand.
He caught her by the finger tips and lifted her hand palm up to his lips, kissing her with such reverence that she shivered.
“John?”
“I don’t think I want to talk anymore.”
CJ stopped in the middle of the street forcing him to come to a halt too. “Now that there is why I . . . “
The words were drowned out as he leaned in and cupped her face, his lips pressing against her. Just as suddenly he released her. “I really don’t want to talk, sweetheart.”
Taking his hand she began to walk in the direction of the apartment. What she hadn’t told him earlier, when she was meant to be honest, was that this was what she wanted, perfect moments with him, a lifetime of them.
She smiled and allowed the warmth of his hand to encompass hers. For what she had planned for him cold hands definitely wouldn’t do.
~~~~~~
His hand remained firm in hers as they entered the apartment and closed the door behind them, locking out the outside world’s problems if only for a few hours.
There was something about CJ tonight, John mused, an openness to her that meant he could practically read what she was thinking. And right then she wanted him.
Not that he didn’t feel the same way.
Her pink tongue darted out to lick her lips and he couldn’t control the urge any longer.
“CJ!” he warned, coming to a halt in the middle of the living room.
He felt rather than saw her drop two inches as she kicked her shoes at the door. “Yes, Dear?“
John couldn’t take his eyes off hers. She had a mischievous glint in her eyes as her free hand brushed imaginary lint off of his chest. Her expression left little to the imagination.
He hoped right then he wasn’t as transparent. He hoped she couldn’t see the undeniable lust, or the realization that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
“John.” Her lips curled upwards in the way he had come to associate with her teasing. Releasing his hand, she pushed his coat off his shoulders. It landed with a thud on the floor.
His sweater followed.
CJ leaned in and lightly kissed his mouth, pulling away almost immediately to kiss his jaw, then slowly she began to trail wet kisses across his throat while her fingers worked the clasp of his pants.
“We should probably take this to the bedroom.”
“Boring,” she hummed against his chest.
His pants pooled around his ankles and he tumbled back on to the couch, arms flailing as he tried to soften the fall.
It wasn’t quite what she had in mind but she was all for putting a little spontaneity in the relationship.
Sliding back up his body she kissed and caressed him, her actions becoming more frantic as he tried to free himself from the tangle of clothing.
“CJ. . .,” he urged, lightly touching her shoulder. “Come here.”
Shaking her head, she rose to her feet and shed her clothing. The only light in the room cast shadows across her skin as she edged back towards him.
John beckoned her over, a self satisfied smirk on his face, his body in an obvious state of readiness.
She tossed her mane of auburn hair and ran her thumb over her lips. It was sultry and for once he was willing to let her play her game. More than anything her movements were increasing his desire.
Silently, CJ positioned herself between his open legs and lightly kissed his lips, lingering to kiss his nose. The words I love you sat on the tip of her tongue, never quite voiced.
Music drifted through the floorboards from the apartment below as he tentatively ran his fingers down her back. It was soft and undulating much like the skin he felt.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, tugging her lightly to his chest, revealing just how much he wanted her. His hand cupped her bottom and she jumped. “Perfect.”
CJ felt her cheeks flush as he continued to whisper words of adoration against her ear, his erection easing itself into opening.
“Oh my God,” CJ panted, as his tip brushed against a sensitive spot, and she locked her legs around his waist.
Fully inside her, her moans and rocking urging him up, John began to move within her, increasing speed in response to her body.
Her body clenched suddenly, her nails digging into John’s broad shoulders, as she panted, “I’m coming, I’m coming” over and over in his ear.
The sudden rush of warmth, her clawing hands and the way her eyes flittering closed brought John closer to the edge. He was breathing harder now, and going deeper with every stroke.
CJ felt his muscles tighten, felt him go in to the hilt with every stroke.
He was bringing her closer and closer to the edge, again and she couldn’t bite back the scream as she let go in a rush, John crashing after her, her body falling against his.
They lay entwined for what seemed an eternity but was only a few minutes, his back aching, her legs going numb, breathing labored.
“Bedroom?” she mumbled finally, pins and needles shooting up her limbs.
John tried to move them as they were, eliciting a shriek as her foot slipped down his torso onto the floor. He was about to lift her up and carry her when his back reminded him he wasn’t thirty anymore.
Her hand clung to his arm as she half hopped to the bedroom, dropping unceremoniously onto the bed.
John waited for her to snuggle against him, her head, resting in the crook of his neck and her arm holding him tightly, before he pulled the sheet up over her neck.
Gently he kissed the top of her head. “Night, sweetheart,“ he whispered, closing his eyes and listening for the cadence of her breathing to change.
~~~~~~
John reached out and slapped the bedside table as he searched for the alarm clock. Finally he opened one eye when he realized it wasn’t the alarm clock.
“John, get the door,” CJ groaned, covering her head with her hands. “Stop the noise.”
With a grunt, he climbed out of bed and padded through the living room to the door. He pressed the intercom. “Yeah.”
“CJ?”
“Who is it?”
“Carol!”
It took a moment for him to wake up. “Hang on. . . CJ, Carol.”
She shot up in bed and opened her eyes. “Shit.” She had forgotten in the midst of everything else that had been going on that she had agreed to take Ella for the weekend.
When she had finally pulled on a tank top and pants she stumbled into the living room.
John was carrying the travel crib into the apartment as Carol placed the car seat on the coffee table.
“Hey, CJ,” Carol greeted, a mischievous grin on her face. “Are you sure this is okay?” Her eyes darted back to the half naked man in the doorway.
He shrugged. “Yeah.”
CJ gave him a quick smile in thanks and leaned over her god daughter.
“We should be back by six tomorrow night. You have my cell if there are any problems.”
John’s face fell as realization hit.
When the door finally closed behind Carol, John turned to CJ. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again when he noticed CJ holding Ella in her arms.
There was a pang of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on as he watched the two of them.
“I forgot she was coming, I’m sorry,” CJ said, rocking the infant in her arms. She had never considered herself maternal, although in her twenties it had been a possibility for a roller coaster of a few days. In her thirties her career had come first, her forties the Bartlet Administration. The ship had sailed now.
“It’s fine.” His thoughts drifted to his daughter. They were fighting again, that was when she would actually come to the phone. “They seem so innocent at that age.”
“Then they learn to talk. . .”
“Haven’t you ever wanted a baby?” John asked softly, taking a step closer and stroking the jet black downy head.
CJ lifted her head and smiled. “Are you offering?”
His eyes clouded. “I made that mistake before.”
She stiffened noticeably, shifting Ella until she rested on her shoulder. “Your daughter’s mistakes aren’t your fault, John. We all make our decisions, we all have to live by them.”
John gave her a genuine smile. “Look where my decisions have taken me?”
“Do you want to hold her?” she offered, watching his eyes dance as he studied the baby’s face.
He took Ella in his arms, willingly letting CJ manipulate him until she was balanced safely.
Ella gurgled and her eyes seemed to widen as she took in the new face. A chubby little hand reached out for his face and he lightly kissed the finger tips.
“I’m going to get dressed.”
CJ turned at the bedroom door and grinned. It was the perfect little scene, the tall, dark man playing with the tiny infant. For a moment there was a pang of something - What could have been - maybe.
Reality intruded on her thoughts. It was a crazy notion. They were in the fifties, far too old to be thinking about babies and trying for a perfect little family.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, lifting his head from blowing raspberries against Ella’s belly button. “Or maybe I shouldn’t ask.”
“How I wish we’d gotten together fifteen years ago.”
He shook his head. “You wouldn’t have liked me much then, too many strange women, too many strange elevators.”
She gave him a knowing smile. “Well you keep promising to take me to heaven.”
~~~~~~
CJ rolled over and her hand landed on the cold mattress. It took a few seconds before her eyes opened. “John?”
When there was no answer she climbed out of bed and padded into the living room.
The small side lamp lit the room and it took a moment for her eyes to focus.
John was stretched out on the couch, one leg draped on the floor, sound asleep.
A smile tugged at CJ’s lips as she noticed his arm protectively wrapped around an equally asleep Ella.
The more time she spent with John the more she learned about him, the more she realized he was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
The day had been as close to perfect as it could have been.
After his initial discomfort at having a child in the house, John hardly let Ella out of his sight. The three of them had taken a walk in the park, his hand on CJ’s as they pushed the buggy. He had insisted on feeding the baby her lunch and held her until she fell asleep. Later as Ella slept they had made lunch together, his hands never far from her waist.
Things seemed to have improved since their talk and both seemed to be relaxing into the relationship.
“She was restless and I didn’t want to wake you,” John mumbled, breaking into her thoughts.
“Want me to take her?” CJ took a step closer.
He shook his head. “Go back to bed.”
“You realize we have to give her back tonight, right?” CJ teased, adjusting the hem of her tank top. “Although I’m sure if I phoned Carol she wouldn’t mind us keeping her a while.”
John tried to glare at her but his heart wasn’t in it. “I have other plans for tonight.”
“Oh, I like the sound of that.”
He waited until she had disappeared into the bedroom. “But she’s welcome anytime.” His fingers smoothed down a tuft of downy hair. Closing his eyes, he began to dream about all the things she was going to do with Uncle John and Aunt CJ.
~~~~~~
CJ took a deep breath and unlocked the door. “I’m home.”
John appeared in the living room doorway.
Her eyes were drawn to him. He was still as sexy as he had ever been. More so, if possible, in his dark black cords and shirt unbuttoned to his chest. Her stomach flipped and not for the first time she found herself speechless.
“You’re late.” He hadn’t meant it to sound so accusary but it did, even to his own ears.
Placing her coat over the back of the chair and dropping her briefcase, she moved towards him. “Something came up. Can we sit?”
He nodded mutely, a flicker of panic in his eyes.
CJ settled herself on the couch and waited for him to take the chair. “Okay, the reason I’m late is because I had an interview.”
“Oh?”
“A promotion, more PR, more accounts, a raise. . .,” she continued, inwardly cringing. “The thing is . . . They’ve offered me a position . . . In California.”
He was out of his seat, staring down at her. “And you were gonna tell me when?” He paced up and down in front of her. “I took a job to be with you here.”
“Can’t we even talk about this?” Her voice rose as she acknowledged he was pissed at her. “Does everything have to be a shouting match?”
“Apparently.” He sighed in defeat.
Things had been going well for weeks, maybe too well. Since their talk they had been focusing on the future, looking for a larger apartment. Since Ella’s visit they had been hornier than ever. As he found himself standing in the middle of the living room staring at her, he wondered if the honeymoon period was over.
“It would mean we could find a nice house on the beach - not freeze every time we go outside the door. And you could find a law firm there, I’m sure.”
“I have a law firm here.”
She swallowed her next statement. He may have a job in a prestigious law firm but he didn’t exactly have a large client base. She worried he was getting bored and would resent her for making him move to New York - in California everyone sued each other.
“What about your daughter? She’d be in Texas. The two of you . . .”
“Stop trying to fix things, CJ.” He loved his daughter but she still refused to talk to him. His suggestion to Suzanne that he fly down and they have a face to face conversation with their only child had been swiftly refused. All he could do was wait and pay the bills. Of course to do that he needed to pull in more clients. Concentrating on getting his relationship right had distracted him lately but now he was preparing to get his career right.
“I don’t understand,” John stated.
“You don’t understand?” Her voice rose an octave as she glared at his back. “Maybe you just don’t want to.” She wasn’t really sure what had happened since she entered the apartment but it seemed to be heading into a train wreck.
John lapped the couch for the third time, his mind racing. He’d missed something in the last few days. They’d seemed to be happy, at least he was happy. There hadn’t been a fight in weeks. Now she wanted to pick up sticks and start again. He didn’t want to contemplate the idea it might be without him.
“Obviously there isn’t enough to keep you here.” His tone was flat as his chest constricted.
“Obviously.”
“This isn’t working.” The door slammed behind him.
It took a moment while she replayed what had happened, less than a second before fear took over her body. He was willing to give up. She might have just lost him for what? A new start? When all she wanted was to be with him.
She cursed and went after him, running down the flight of stairs and on to the stoop.
“So you’re just gonna run away again?” CJ yelled.
John continued walking, rain running down his neck.
“You can’t flee every time something goes wrong.”
CJ finally came to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk. “Fine. I give up. But you should probably know I’m not taking the job.” She took her T-shirt in her hands and wrung it out before turning and heading back to their building.
“What?”
She continued walking and this time he had to run after her.
“CJ?”
“I said I’m not taking the job.” She refused to turn around and look at him. He’d made it pretty clear that it was California or him. For the first time she had put a man before her work, it wasn’t a difficult decision, he did things to her no other man did.
“What are you going to do?” he asked quietly, a little in awe.
For the first time in almost an hour she turned to face him. “I don’t know.”
He stared back at her through the rain. His chest constricted at the thought of losing her, of not watching her as she slept.
“But I do know I don’t want to do it alone.” There she’d said it, she’d done her part of letting him know that she wanted him. Now it was over to him.
“It’s raining.”
CJ couldn’t help but give him the look. Her hair was frizzing up, her shirt had turned opaque minutes ago and she looked like she’d been snivelling, and he had just noticed it was raining!
“What I meant was . . . Shall we go back inside?”
Her nod was almost imperceptible. For a moment back there she thought she had lost him, it was almost too much to bare. Tentatively she extended her hand until their fingertips were barely touching. There was silence as she held her breath, waiting to see if he would take the next step.
His skin brushed against hers as he took her hand, holding it firmly in his.
The rain continued to drum against the sidewalk as they took the first few steps into a future and the unknown.
~~~~~~
“Seriously, what the hell am I doing here?” Toby grumbled, staring at the long line of women waiting patiently.
Andi gave him one of her wry smiles, and took another sip of her juice. “You know why we’re here.”
“To support CJ’s foray into porn.”
The woman in front of him turned and raised an eyebrow.
Andi slapped him hard across his shoulder blade. “She’s written a political novel,” she hissed, shaking her head and wondering why the hell she actually agreed to bring him along.
He’d read the book, which was also the point that he had refused to be put in the acknowledgements.
“What the hell’s got up his ass?” Abbey asked, appearing at their side, clutching her signed copy. “Scrap that. When hasn’t he got something stuck up his ass.”
Andi chuckled. “The Communications Director was the only one not to have sex.”
“Our CJ certainly gets graphic.” Abbey had to admit she had been a little surprised when CJ had sent her a rough draft of her novel. Set in the middle of an administration swimming in deceit and scandal, the story revolved around four passionate and energetic individuals. About half way through Abbey had asked herself how much of it was based on fact.
“Have you read the dedication?” Andi had been intrigued. It was obvious from the simple inscription that her friend had lost her heart to someone.
“It seems Jed isn’t the only one good at keeping secrets,” Abbey mused out loud.
Toby groaned and shuffled forward in the line. He knew what was coming next - the gentle and not so gentle pumping for information followed by what he was sure would be some form of torture. He only hoped he reached CJ before Abbey got to him.
~~~~~~
It had been Abbey’s idea to have a post-signing dinner. She had booked the restaurant and practically ordered everyone to attend.
Not that anyone was complaining now. Not after the huge consumption of alcohol and what seemed to be an endless supply of Chinese food.
CJ was the guest of honor. She was surrounded by her oldest and dearest friends, she mused, and she wouldn‘t have it any other way.
It was almost okay, there had been no speeches. . .
CJ groaned as Jed rose to his feet and gave her his widest smile. Tapping his glass he demanded everyone’s attention.
The table went silent.
“Today is a very special occasion. Claudia Jean has published her first novel, and may I be the first to say it’s wonderful, truly inspired. Now I know why she paid so much attention. Pity the rest of you didn’t.” He glared at Josh. “I won’t ask, despite Abbey’s protests, how much of it is based on fact. We’ll leave that for a more appropriate time. Instead I would like to propose a toast. To CJ. . . May this be the first of many successes.” He raised his glass and took a small sip.
As he took his seat, CJ gave him a relived smile.
“Can I ask a question, CJ?” Donna asked timidly.
“Yeah, because Donna likes to be polite,” Josh laughed, leaning back in his seat to avoid the inevitable slap he was due.
CJ shrugged and sipped her wine.
“It was Danny, right, that gave you butterflies?” Donna asked, her head cocked on one side.
Carol shook her head knowingly, her eyes drawn to the doorway. Her hand brushed against CJ’s arm and the older woman followed her gaze.
The world disappeared into a haze as CJ saw him. She got up from the table and walked across the restaurant. Her hand unconsciously ran through her hair, tucking it behind her ear.
“Hey.“
“Hey.”
She turned to look at her friends.
They were all watching her intently. “You sure you want to do this.” The fact was that she had wanted him there all day but he had been tied up with work. Abbey hadn’t invited him to the dinner, but then Toby had kept his promise and for a year they had managed to enjoy their relationship in private.
“It’s time.”
She looked at him blankly.
“I read the inscription, CJ. Butterflies?”
CJ ducked her head, aware of the inevitable flush that was rising up her face. She had wanted him to know how she felt, but as yet she hadn’t gotten around to giving him a copy of the book.
“I love you too,” he whispered, trying to catch her eye.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, taking a deep breath and looking at him.
John nodded. In truth it was what he had wanted for months.
“Okay then.”
“Okay.”
He waited for her to make a move when she didn’t he slipped his hand into hers and tugged her gently towards the table.
They all looked at her expectantly, eyes wide and jaws slightly agape.
“You all know John,” CJ offered, rolling her eyes slightly. Turning to John, “You see this is why we didn’t tell them.”
“No, the reason we didn’t tell them is because you thought …” He tried to pull her hand from his mouth.
“For god’s sake. . . We’ve been together a year. We met in a bar,” she practically yelled at her friends.
Josh looked like he was about to speak.
“What?” CJ snapped.
“That’s why you wanted her address so you could. . .” He stopped mid-sentence as two hands collided with his head. “Oww.”
CJ rolled her eyes and sank into her seat. “It was such a good day.”
Leo rose and stuck out his hand, “Good to see you, John.” They shook hands. “So you sorted it out?” He gave him his trade mark grin.
Josh jumped up in his seat. “You knew?”
It was inevitable that at least one of them would react badly. CJ was only surprised by how well the President - and he would always be the President to her - was taking the news. Of course the night was still young.
“In all fairness Josh, she didn’t actually tell me,” Leo offered simply. “You gonna stick around?”
“Yeah, she only comes after me if I leave.”
CJ’s head shot up and she glared at him.
“That wasn’t a complaint, sweetheart. If you went, I’d come after you.”
Her lips curled up in a smile. Her stomach did somersaults as he gazed at her in the way he reserved only for her. She forgot how to breathe.
“Aww,” the women chorused.
“I want a man like that,” Donna sighed.
“You have me,” Josh announced confidently.
Carol gave him the glare she had perfected in the many years she had worked for CJ. “She had more sense than to date you.”
“Are you going to treat her right?” Toby growled, leading John away from the table as the familiar banter returned to the table.
John slipped his hand inside his jacket and removed the tiny blue box wrapped in its famous white bow. “Tiffanys?” He watched as John untied the bow and revealed the platinum band, the tiffany cut diamond sparkling back at him. “Yeah, all I have to do now is convince her to say yes.” “Don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.” He rocked lightly on the balls of his feet as the awkwardness dragged on. “If only because she’s in love with you.”
“She told you that?” John asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe she hadn’t voiced her feelings to him yet she had been talking to Toby.
Toby shook his head and stopped moving. “She didn’t have to . . . Needless to say that if you hurt her. . .”
“I realise that I can’t screw this up. I won’t get another chance.” It was candid and a realisation he hadn’t come to lightly.
“I’m guessing if you don’t get back over there you’re gonna be in trouble.”
John followed his gaze and couldn’t stifle the grin as she beckoned him over with her finger. Nodding, he began to walk towards the group.
Toby closed his eyes as he felt the all too familiar stirrings of jealousy. When he opened them again CJ was smiling up at John, her eyes a deep hue of blue. He had to turn away as the butterflies fluttered in his stomach. This time he couldn’t pretend that some day she’d realise her feelings for him. No this time it was too late.
Her heart had finally found it’s home.
The End