“Will you stop whining?” Donna moaned, turning back from checking on the boys. “The vacation will do you good.”

“But . . .”

“You bring work into this and I swear . . .” she rolled her eyes dramatically.

Josh sensibly kept his mouth shut.

“We need to stop at the next gas station and let the boys take a break.”

“We’re nearly there,” he protested.

“Yeah?” she asked sceptically. “But we haven’t taken three wrong turns and ended up at the airport yet.” Driving made fiscal sense she knew but even after a hundred visits they always got lost, Josh got irritable and the kids got cabin fever. All she needed was Toby and it would be an average day on the campaign trail all over again.

“Donna!”

“We’ll pick up some red bull and a few alka seltzers.” It was going to take more than a few alka seltzers to settle Josh down, she knew, but at least it might make the last hour of the journey a little easier on everyone.

If one good thing had come out of Jed’s death, it was that it had brought them all together. The tempestuous friendship they had shared through the first administration had been re-ignited and had developed into something which would, CJ was sure, last the rest of their lives. They’d managed to spend a weekend at the farm, had dinner or lunch in DC at least once every few weeks and there was no longer a need to rely on the women to keep in touch, although getting the men to actually have a meaningful conversation was a little much to ask for.

Today, CJ was meeting Sam for lunch before she had to fly back home. She had said her goodbyes to Toby over breakfast before he went to spend the day with Molly and Huck and squeezed in coffee with Kate before heading to the restaurant.

Sam was running late and when he finally arrived he had a tall elegantly dressed woman CJ vaguely recognized in tow.

Seeing CJ, he stepped forward to embrace her.

“Looking good, Spanky.” She unconsciously smoothed down her pant suit and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Working for Josh has it’s advantages. I can now work fifteen hour days on two hours sleep and a jog around the tidal basin.”

“Sounds healthy.“ She glanced past him to the woman hovering behind. “Heard from Josh yet?”

“From Baltimore, New York State and somewhere that doesn’t exist on mapquest.” Sam gave her a small smile.

She nodded knowingly.

“There’s someone I would like you to meet,” Sam announced, remembering his companion and releasing CJ and standing back. “CJ, this is Laurie.”

“Miss Cregg.”

“Call me CJ, please.” She glanced at Sam a little confused.

“You said you needed a first rate lawyer.”

Laurie settled herself in one of the leather seats and crossed her legs. “I’ve been a divorce lawyer for twelve years, CJ. I’ve gotten good at this.”

“She’s very good. She could have practiced corporate law, criminal law, but in a city where extra marital affairs are two a penny, she chose divorce.”

“He’s my agent,” Laurie grinned.

CJ glanced at Sam and smiled weakly. “You need to go.” At his blank expression, she continued, “The White House Deputy Chief Of Staff can’t be seen here.”

“She’s an attorney now.”

“It won’t matter to the press. All it takes is one reporter to see you together, put two and two together and the photo re-emerges. It’s better for them not to see you together, better for both of your lives if they don’t dredge up the past.” CJ took a breath. “I’m not your first call anymore.”

“Ok. Although I would probably still call you.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Guess I’ll be going. Thanks Laurie. Lunch next time you‘re in town, CJ!”

The two women waited for him to disappear and for the hovering waiter to take their drink orders, the silence awkward as CJ scanned the restaurant for familiar faces.

“What grounds do you have for filing?” Laurie asked when they were finally alone.

“The marriage has irretrievably broken down.” She continued to stare at the attorney. “No notes?”

“If it’s written down I can’t deny it. At the moment this is an informal chat.“

“That’s gonna cost me a few hundred bucks an hour.“

“Cheap at twice the price.“ She smiled back. “So no adultery by him or you? No mental cruelty? No abuse?”

CJ shook her head resolutely. “No. No Hollywood scandal.” In truth they had just grown apart, or at least they had realized that sex wasn’t a substitute for love, and that she wasn’t all that good at relationships.

“Ok. Sounds straightforward enough.” It also sounded like something that any attorney could handle.

“There is something you should know.” She stared into the distance, about to admit her feelings for the first time to anyone other than her two closest girlfriends.

“Whatever you tell me now stays private, and I’m not gonna judge you,” Laurie said softly. “Hell, I’m the last person to judge anyone.”

“You’ve done well,” CJ stated awkwardly.

“I had the support of a wonderful man.”

CJ sighed.

“Are you gonna tell me your big bad secret?”

“There’s someone in my life, someone who enables me to do anything I want, be whoever I want. Although it’s taken me a long time to realize how good we have it. I’m not sure he knows how I feel. I mean we shared a kiss, a little fumble.” She smiled to herself at the memory of his fingers stroking her bare skin. “ But I don’t think he feels the same way.” He had looked petrified as he pulled his hands away and neither of them had been able to string a sentence together.

“Yet, you’re divorcing.”

“A long time a go, when things started to go off the rails with Danny and he moved out I promised Jed, President Bartlet, that we weren’t going to divorce. It may seem like a stupid hollow promise, and I guess it was, but we both respected him enough to try and make it work, go to counselling, date. But we soon realised it wasn’t fixable, neither of us was in a hurry to date and we weren’t bitter so we agreed to stay married. We’ve even stayed friends, spent holidays together. Jed’s been gone for six months now and it’s time. He even told me himself that it was time for me to move on.”

“And the other guy?”

“God, you’re intrusive. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just know that I want to be in a position to move on. With him?” she shrugged. “Or someone else. I just know that the time has come.”

“Do you love him?”

CJ took a sip of water. “Who knows?” She loved him, she was in love with him. If he hadn’t done the most stupid, idiotic thing and got himself indicted they might have even worked it out a lot sooner.

“You should probably figure that out before it’s too late.” Laurie gave her a small smile. “Ok. Give me a few days to draw up the papers. You can check them over and I’ll get them served. What about children?”

“We have a son.” Her face lit up as her thoughts returned to their adopted son and the reunion that was to come that evening. “I‘m not looking for anything other than joint custody It’s what we have now and he‘s a good father. Tom spends four days with me, three days with Danny, three days with me, four days with Danny.”

“I’m not clear why you need me?”

“Because I’m not sure Danny’s ready for me to move on,” CJ admitted quietly. “He hasn’t dated since we split and he’s never even mentioned divorce.”

“Is he gonna get ready?”

“That I’m not sure about but I think hiring you may be the impetus he needs.”

“And if not?”

CJ sighed audibly. “Then I hope you’re as good and as media savvy as Sam says because the last thing I want is a very public divorce.”

Laurie nodded in understanding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Seventeen

The Bartlet Farm never seemed to change, even the renovations made by the Secret Service and their eventual departure had not altered the house in any way. Since leaving the White House Abbey had decorated every room but it barely transformed the sense of homeliness and security that everyone felt when they walked through the door. The rooms felt warm and airy and the open landscape gave the feeling of isolation and space.

The Bartlets themselves had changed. Initially folksy politically naïve, they had become the First Family, people to respect and in Abbey’s case someone to fear. By the time they retired back to the farm and everyone had been to visit they had become surrogate parents to adults who for the most part had no parents of their own.

While they were each other’s constants, the people that they could truly turn to a moment of crisis, the house was a home away from home.

Donna found it comforting - the lived in furniture, the mixture of antique and modern and Jed‘s silent presence wherever you looked. It also helped that when the agents moved on they left the property like a fortress. She felt safe in the knowledge that the boys could enjoy the freedom, the open fields to explore, animals to pet and grandmas less than strict rules. It gave her time to concentrate on Josh and being a wife rather than a mother.

“Do you need for me to help with dinner?“ Donna asked, peeking over Abbey’s shoulder as she removed the meat from the oven.

“Go, relax.“ She poked the joint with a fork.

“I can’t.“

“He’s gonna be alright, Donna.” She turned to look at her. “Where is he? I thought the two of you were taking a walk.”

“He’s reading on the porch.” Donna avoided Abbey’s eyes for fear she would see how afraid she was. “What if this is the final breaking point?”

Abbey placed the roasting tin on the counter top and gently took the younger woman’s hands in her own. “He’s been shot, he’s lost three fathers, he almost lost you more than once. Someone breaking into your house and trying to kill him, I’d be more surprised if it wasn’t.“

“Abbey?“

“He’s in the right place, Donnatella. A few days here with us will help him relax. And I’ve talked to a friend. I know how to take care of him.“

~~~~~~~~~

For Josh the Bartlet Farm brought back memories, some good, some bad - Campaign meetings in the barn, teasing CJ about snakes, his meltdown in the hallway, barbeques on the porch, chilli nights and alcohol fuelled softball on the lawn and Jed’s funeral. It was foremost the one place he knew his family would be safe. The Bartlets considered his children to be grandchildren and whilst indulging them had created a haven where they could enjoy their summers.

Josh sat on the porch, enjoying the late Sunday sun, reading the Post and watching as his eldest son climbed the tree. Since arriving early the previous morning the boys had run wild, climbing trees, hiding in the barns and paddling through the creek. Donna, he knew, was having thirty fits but his kids were enjoying themselves. In DC they rarely got to enjoy the freedom.

The two younger boys were playing catch on the lawn. Little Leo, who like his name sake was fearless, was on his second pair of shorts, having ripped the first pair in the old truck, and although the kids cost them a fortune in clothes he wouldn’t begrudge them a moment or two of care freeness.

It reminded him of summers with his parents and Leo. There had only been a few vacations in his father’s cabin in the woods but all of them were carefree and idealic, which is what his family needed after his sister’s death. Mallory had been a toddler and he had been fiercely protective of her even then. After his father’s death, Leo had been his surrogate father, the person he wanted, maybe needed, to be proud of him. Instead Leo had been taken too, and he had thrown himself into work and being there for Mallory. Now he was a father himself.

The frightening scenario had never been that he would die, because he knew Donna would be okay. She was a survivor. She had a large extended family that would protect and take care of her and his boys. His nightmare scenario was that whoever it was would return and take his Donna. That was why he didn’t sleep at night, why his children were never more than a few feet away. He couldn’t bare to lose her. She was the love of his life, his missing half and without her he knew he couldn’t go on.

Without realizing it he was crying. Tears spilled onto his cheeks as his mind turned to a life without her.

“Josh,” Abbey called walking around the corner. “Josh.” She came to a standstill at the sight before her.

Josh glanced up, the tears now pouring down his face.

“Oh, honey.” She lowered herself to the porch floor and wrapped her arms around him. “Ssh.” As she held him, she rocked back and forth, stroking his hair, whispering that it would be okay. She was convinced he would be, his tears the first sign that he was ready to deal with things, and he wouldn’t have to deal alone. “Ssh, Joshua.”

Ainsley tucked her legs under her and lifted her laptop onto her lap. CNN flickered in the background as she continued to study the Bill proposal.

By some small miracle she had slipped out of work early, opting instead to bring her work home and wait. She was certain he would come. The news had been replaying the disastrous press conference all day and as the bill was his idea, his last piece of meaningful legislation, she imagined he’d been punishing himself all day.

The light rapping on the door, his acknowledgment that he wasn’t ready for a key, had her scurrying to open it.

“Hey.”

Sam lounged against the door frame, looking anything but relaxed. “Hey, Ains.”

Stepping back, she allowed him entry. “Hungry?“

He shook his head, dropping his briefcase on the floor.

“Need a drink?“

Sam followed her into the living room, coming to a halt in the doorway.

“You wanna talk?”

He shook his head again and she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms and legs around him, encouraging him down the corridor to her bedroom.

They would make love to the early hours, until she was beyond exhausted and fell sleep. Sam would then wander her apartment, his mind on overdrive as he tried how to figure out how to rescue his Bill. Nights spent talking were few and far between, but she was his safety blanket, the person he needed to be with when the world turned on it’s axis. For her, he was the man she wanted to wake up with every day for the rest of her life, she just wasn’t ready to tell him. Instead they enjoyed what they had in the here and now. Her only requisite to their strange connection was that he made her breakfast before he leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ opened the bedroom door and stared out into the night. She had been trying unsuccessfully to sleep for hours, her conversation with Danny playing over and over. It would be, she knew, the beginning of a series of discussions that would get them nowhere.

There were times like these when she hated living on the other side of the country to all her friends. She couldn’t just call Kate and invite her over to get drunk and Donna had enough to deal with. Her instinct had always been and still was to call Toby, if only to hear his voice.

The phone rang and rang to the point that CJ was about to give up then she heard the all too familiar growl.

“Hey Pokey.”

“CJ?” He had gotten to hate it when CJ was in California and he was in DC. He wouldn’t admit to anyone that he missed her but he bit everyone’s head off more than usual and the guy in the coffee shop knew better than to wish him a good day.

This time it was worse than normal. Andi had taken a vacation, leaving him with two children and their new puppy to take care of.

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Does there have to be anything wrong . . .?”

“It’s 4am here.” Toby sat up in bed, patting the bed in search of the remote to turn the television on and waking the puppy. “CJ?”

“Danny got the divorce papers.”

“In the middle of the night?” He stopped himself. “You’re filing for divorce?” His heart did a happy skip.

“Yeah.”

“Hold on for just two seconds.”

“What you doing?”

“Shutting the door so we don’t wake the kids.” He climbed back onto the bed. “Move.”

“Am I interrupting?” CJ asked, her tone light, her throat suddenly dry.

“Damn dog.”

“They brought the puppy?”

“And the hamster. He’s relegated to the bathroom.” Toby shifted position and the dog curled up in his lap, nuzzling his hand. “How did Danny take it?”

“He thinks I’m seeing someone.”

“Ah.”

“You’re not going to ask?” CJ moved the phone to her other ear.

“And risk your wrath, not likely.”

CJ padded out onto her deck and stared out at the neighbourhood. “I’m not.”

“How did he take it?” Toby asked, lightly scratching behind the dog’s ear.

“He asked me if I was seeing anyone. Wondered why I couldn’t talk to him about it. Oh, and the good news is he doesn’t hate me,” she offered dryly. “He was two seconds away from asking if we could try again.”

“You sure that’s not an option?” Toby asked, the stilling of his fingers earning him a lick and a nudge from the puppy.

“Yes.” She waited, listening to his breathing, trying to gauge his reaction. “Toby?”

“Is this a conversation we need to have in person?”

“I’m wondering if it’s a conversation we should have had when I came to your apartment to ask if you wanted a pardon.”

Silence echoed down the phone line and through the neighbourhood.

“I’m coming up there at the end of September. I have a couple of meetings but maybe we could have dinner or something,” CJ suggested, not wanting them to suddenly be awkward.

“You staying here?”

“Was that an invitation?” she asked, hoping the gruffness in his voice was a sign of normality.

“Yeah.” Toby continued to stroke the puppy, listening as the cadence of CJ’s breathing returned to an even keel. “Can you sleep now?” He could listen to her voice all night but she had to be up in a few hours and the two of them couldn’t talk around the subject any longer.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” He returned the phone to it’s cradle without saying goodbye, his mind racing to possibilities and the acknowledgement that they might actually take the next step.

Chapter Eighteen

CJ knocked on the office door and leaned in.

Sam looked up from his phone call and waved her in. “Gotta go. CJ’s just arrived. Yeah, I’ll give her your love. Sorry about that.”

“No problem, Spanky.”

“You haven’t called me that in a while.” He rose to his feet and started to clear stuff off of his guest chair.

“How’s Josh’s vacation?”

“Would you want to be trapped in an RV with Josh for a week?”

“Why do you think Toby and I always volunteered to drive?”

Sam grinned back at her. “Honestly, because we thought you were doing it.”

CJ blinked nervously. “Oh. Ok. Explains a lot.”

“Were you?”

“No.”

“Are you?”

She stared back at him. “No.”

“Glad we got that cleared up.” He suppressed a smile in the knowledge her response had been more melancholy than vehement. “So I ordered in.”

CJ settled herself in a chair and opened the sack lunch. “Thanks for making the time.”

“With Josh away I have a little more time than usual.”

“How’s he doing?”

Sam looked away, not really sure what the correct response was. “Donna says he’s okay.”

“She’d know.”

“Yeah, I guess. He says it’s not as bad as the Christmas after Rosslyn. She says Abbey’s friend has been a godsend.”

“And you’re wondering where you fit in,” CJ surmised correctly.

Sam shrugged, knowing that he would sound silly for being put out that he hadn’t noticed how bad Josh had been, or for being the one Josh turned to for help. In truth he was slightly relieved that Donna and Abbey had been the ones dealing with it for the past few weeks.

“It’s your job to keep the little stuff off his desk. It’s what he did for Leo, what Leo did for the President, and what someone will one day do for you.”

“Thank you. So what do you need?”

It was CJ’s turn to look uncomfortable. “I need a little help with Toby.”

Sam’s grin widened. “Yeah?”

CJ rolled her eyes in despair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later, CJ found herself sitting in the waiting room of a recruitment agency reading a National Geographical.

“The Landingham Agency,” the young blonde receptionist said, cradling the phone to her ear. “Of course, if you’ll just hold the line I’ll put you through to our referrals department.”

Margaret finally appeared in the doorway, smiling. “CJ.”

CJ rose to her feet and crossed the room, hugging her former assistant. “Margaret, how you doing?”

“Good. You haven’t been here before, have you? Come on back and meet everyone.” She started to walk down a corridor, pausing outside one door and knocking lightly on the door.

The door opened and CJ was taken aback. “Carol.”

“Hey, boss.”

“I didn’t realise you worked here.”

“We all do.”

CJ hugged Carol and stepped back. “All?”

“Carol, Ginger, Bonnie, Debbie off and on, and Nancy.”

CJ glanced around the office. “You work here?”

“Actually we own it, run it, fill in when we’re short staffed,” Margaret explained. “It’s all thanks to the Bartlet Administration.”

“And working for some of the most demanding bosses out there,” Ginger added, walking in and hugging CJ. “Present company exempted.”

“So what exactly do you do here?”

“We train assistants, we hire them out, we take in administration for congressmen who can’t afford support staff. We make nice bonuses from employers hiring our staff on a permanent basis,” Margaret explained. “It’s a living.”

“I’ve come to the right place, then. My reason for being here is that Toby needs an assistant.”

“We don’t generally hire out to. . .” Margaret began to explain.

“What’s he doing?” Ginger asked, ignoring the more obvious question.

CJ turned in her seat. ”He’s writing a book. The Book. Our Book.” She beamed with pride.

“He hates being interrupted when he writes, he doesn’t dictate. What exactly does he need an assistant for?”

“To save me from killing him. To book his flights, run around town researching. Smoothing over things with the family. The last thing I want is him asking Abbey whether she and the President were having sex minutes before the first inaugural.”

The three younger women looked at her in question.

“The supposition is that they did and that was why he aced it but I really don’t want anyone asking her, and Toby can be very . . .”

“Tactless.”

“Focused.”

“Rude.”

CJ shook her head. “Driven.”

“I’ll do it,” Ginger said, her head cocked on one side. “I can spare a few mornings a week.” She really did love him despite how difficult he had been to work for at times. “I’ll charge per hour and travelling expenses.”

“No danger money?”

“We’ll see how it goes.”

One of the benefits about visiting Washington DC was that CJ got to spend time with her girlfriends. After checking in with Toby and realizing he was in one of his funks, she had phoned Kate and invited her shopping.

“What do you think?” CJ asked, walking out of the dressing room in a simple black dress. It wasn’t the first one she had tried on and it wasn’t the first shop but Kate didn’t seem to mind.

“Great.” She studied the dress. “Is this for the big night?”

“Maybe.” CJ turned and studied her profile in the mirror, wondering when it was that she acquired the few extra pounds.

“I preferred the red one.” Kate stared at the price tag on a Yves Saint Laurent suit and decided it was beyond her budget.

“You don’t think it’s a little young for me.” CJ wandered back into the dressing room and reappeared in the red off-the shoulder dress.

“You’re like six foot with perfect legs, it was designed for you.”

“Ok.” CJ disappeared back into the changing room, continuing the conversation. “I think I brought the perfect shoes to go with it.”

“We should check out the lingerie department,” Kate announced, grinning.

“What? You think I’m gonna jump him on the first date?”

“Wear that and he’ll be jumping you.”

CJ rolled her eyes, draping the dress over her arm..

“What?” Kate asked, surprised.

“It’s like pulling teeth. I suggested a quaint little bistro in Georgetown. He suggested take out.”

“Maybe he wanted you to himself.”

“Maybe this isn’t going to go anywhere.” It would just be her luck CJ concluded, to finally realize she wanted to be with Toby only for him to have finally given up on them.

“He’s rubbing off on you.”

“It feels right. I’m just. . .”

“Having normal feelings and concerns, CJ,” Kate said, following her friend to the cash desk. “Quit worrying about it. Go with the flow.”

CJ raised an eyebrow. “Something you need to tell me.”

Kate could barely conceal her smile. “Over coffee?” She had been waiting for weeks to tell someone and now she could share all with her closest friend. “I’ll even pay.”

Toby groaned at the sound of pounding on the door. Lowering his coffee mug to the counter he padded over to the apartment door. Pulling it open, he growled, “Yeah.” Then he took a step back in confusion. “Ginger?”

“Hey, Toby.”

He wasn’t sure what to do next, awkwardness of his youth making it painful for him in social situations even now. Ginger solved the problem by stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his middle. He held her against him gently.

“So where do we start?” she asked, stepping back, and glancing around the apartment.

“Start?”

“You have me two mornings a week, at least to begin with. I’ll research, I’ll book your travel, I’ll even phone the family for you and schedule the interviews.”

He looked at her blankly.

“CJ didn’t tell you?”

“I hadn’t found the right moment,” CJ announced, appearing in the doorway in her bath robe looking like she had just woken up.

Toby’s eyes darted to her, roaming her body, before he realised what he was doing.

“Hey, didn’t realise you were staying here,” Ginger commented, hoping her face was neutral and not betraying what she was actually thinking.

CJ shook her head. “Toby’s living here while he writes. Josh never could quite part with his bachelor pad. And his tenants moved out. Seemed a perfect arrangement. I just stay here while I’m in town.” Which she had to admit was more and more frequent.

“You got me a girl, CJ?” he asked mischievously.

“No, I wanted to get you a secretary. Ginger volunteered,” CJ explained, helping herself to coffee. “Apparently she didn’t think it was fair to foist you on one of her staff.”

“Staff?”

Ginger rolled her eyes dramatically. “Do you ever read your emails? The Landingham Agency?” Which explained why CJ was so surprised when she came to the office. “We quit the White House and started our own company.” In two years it had become quite a success. They knew most of the senators, congressmen, not to mention lawyers in DC, and word had spread rapidly and before too long they were the first call for assistants.

“Can I afford you?” Toby asked dryly.

“Could you ever?”

CJ smiled knowingly, before heading back to the bathroom. With Ginger taking care of Toby, she could return to California and her job without worrying about what he might be getting himself into.

Toby arrived a few minutes later, looking less stressed than he had in months. “Ginger’s reorganizing my desk.”

“The dining table.”

“Whatever.”

“What are we doing here, Toby?” CJ asked, perching on the edge of the bath tub, her eyes boring into his as she looked for some acknowledgement that he felt the same way.

“Well you’re about to get naked in the shower and I’m gonna watch.” Toby grinned beneath his beard, his smirk disappearing at her glare. “Ok, maybe not.”

“Toby,” she sighed, pulling her robe tighter around her. “I’m trying to be serious.”

“You’re going back to California,” he stated rather than asked.

“I need to get back to Tom and my job, and you don’t need the distraction.”

“I rather liked the distraction.”

“Toby,” she groaned wearily.

“How do we make this work?” he asked, settling himself on the edge of the tub beside her.

“What work?” CJ suppressed a smile, instead letting out the breath she was holding.

“You’re gonna make me say it.” He looked up at her. “Us. There’s obviously something between us that begs exploring.”

CJ raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m too old for the my friend likes you and god only knows Josh would screw it up.”

“You like me?” CJ asked, her voice laced with teasing.

Toby looked down and away and quietly replied, “Yes.”

“It would have to be a bicoastal relationship,” she acknowledged, skipping the more obvious steps to courtship.

“It would be like a fling.” Except to him a fling had connotations of harmless fun and in CJ’s case if it went wrong there was the potential for him to get really hurt.

“If we lived together we’d kill each other within a week.” Although someday they would have to try it.

“Will you bring me coffee in bed on a Sunday?”

“What would you bring me in bed on a Sunday?” she asked, lightly covering his hand with her own and stroking his knuckles.

“To paradise and back,” Toby offered glibly.

She scrunched up her face.

“Newspapers and yoghurt?”

“You’ll getting there. You realize we’re not going to be very good at this to begin with, that we’re both gonna screw it up.”

“Yeah.” He leaned forward and lightly ran his fingers over her cheek. “The potential is that I’m really gonna screw this up.”

“Why?”

“Because I want it so badly.”

“Then maybe we take it slowly. Lunch before I catch the plane?”

“Okay.” It wasn’t exactly what he had in mind for the start of his relationship but then if he was going to enter into a relationship with CJ he was going to be the one taking orders.

CJ gave him a tentative smile. “I need to change.”

“Okay.” He remained seated.

“Go.” She slapped him playfully on the arm.

Toby grinned back at her before he shrugged in surrender and headed back down the corridor to the living room.

“Ginger, I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Toby!”

“I’m gonna take my girlfriend out for lunch, then to the airport.” He knew he was grinning inanely but he couldn’t help himself.

“Wonders will never cease.” Ginger continued to categorise files as though his news was no big deal. In reality she couldn’t wait for him to leave so she could phone Carol and claim her winnings from the bet that had been going on for over fifteen years. “Spare key?”

“On the counter.”

“And the porn?”

He rolled his eyes dramatically and stalked back down the corridor in the hope of changing CJ‘s mind about going out for lunch.

“I’m feeling over dressed,” CJ commented dryly as she glanced around the restaurant.

“We could have stayed in the apartment and you could have gotten undressed.” His face remained impassive as he watched a look of exasperation cross her features.

“Toby.”

“Ok, so is this why I don’t get many dates?” Toby asked, only half in jest.

“Quite probably.”

“So what should I do differently?”

“To get more dates?” she asked, incredulously. Twenty minutes before they had been flirting, dangerously close to ‘throwing their caps over the wall’ and now he was asking how he could go about getting more dates. CJ was fast coming to the conclusion she would never understand men.

“Yeah.” He took one look at her face and knew he’d inadvertently said the wrong thing. Backtracking, his hand instinctively reaching out to touch her arm, he asked quietly, even a little uncertainly, “Should we start over?”

CJ raised an eyebrow.

“I think . . .well, it might just be possible,” he stumbled, trying to ignore nearly fifty years of ineptness. “I’m sure, well, . . . , damn it, CJ, I’m in love with you.”

“Feel better now?” she asked softly, her thumb lightly brushing his knuckles .

“I’d feel better. . .”

“Toby!” CJ warned, her voice sterner than she meant.

He gave her a shy smile. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

This was the Toby she loved, the one that could even surprise her with his emotions and his genuine humour, the one that just occasionally let his guard down and let his true self show. This was the one that made her want to throw caution to the wind. “Wanna get the food to go?”

The Toby, who when he smiled like that, made her weak at the knees and every other cliché she knew he’d hate.

“Really?”

The Toby who right now made her feel wanted, and sexy and loved.

“I’m not promising that you’ll get what you want,” she began, removing his hand from her arm and entwining their fingers. “but it’s probably better if we go somewhere else.”

Toby really didn’t need persuading as he gently guided her towards the counter. There were times like these when being gruff and abrupt were the perfect traits to have. Their food arrived in double quick time and he had them practically running back to his apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, you’re back early,” Ginger commented as they walked through the door. Glancing up she took note of the take out containers and the proprietary way Toby’s hand rested on CJ’s back. “I’ll come back tomorrow. See ya.” Grabbing her bag she waved and disappeared out the door, intent on spending her winnings.

“So?”

“Articulate, Toby.” CJ slipped her hand out of his and hovered awkwardly in the living room.

He stared at her before tossing the take out on the counter and advancing towards her.

It registered momentarily what he was going to do and CJ froze, unsure if she was ready or if it was mistake or whether they were both living in some kind of parallel universe.

Toby came to a halt before her, reading something in her eyes that made him wonder if he was hoping for more than she was willing to give.

Her eyes suddenly flashed confusion and pain.

“You wanna eat?” Toby asked, being the gentleman and giving her an out, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t take it.

“Not really.”

“You wanna make out?”

“Maybe.”

“Not quite the . . .” The rest of his sentence was lost as she leaned in and kissed him firmly on the mouth. When she pulled back he was left staring back at her open mouthed.

“I thought maybe we should get the first kiss out of the way and enjoy the second and third and. . .” she announced, her hand slipping up and around his neck.

Toby’s hand tangled itself in her hair as he kissed her.

“Morning, Toby,” Ginger called cheerfully, letting herself into his apartment. It had become routine now, two days a week she would spend the morning at his apartment, or at the Congressional Library assisting with his life’s work. He in turn would make her coffee and provide Danish pastries. It was, as she frequently told her friends, like they had never been apart.

“Is it?” he grumbled in reply.

Ginger fixed a smile on her face and dropped her belongings on the dining table. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?” She had become accustomed to ignoring his moods over the years. These days his moods seemed more love sick than angry at the world in general.

“I need a comprehensive list of the legislation we passed in office.”

“I would have thought you’d have that memorized.” She flashed him a smile and helped herself to a pastry.

He glared at her over his coffee.

“Ok. So when she coming back?” Ginger asked casually.

“Thursday.” He rolled his eyes when he realized that she had caught him out.

“Please God,” she mumbled under her breath. “Let him get laid.”

Toby glanced up. “Sorry?”

“I was mentally compiling a list of sources.”

Toby nodded and returned to staring at the daily paper. His assistant wasn’t the only one who hoped he got laid soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The door opened and CJ found herself gazing into the melting chocolate of Toby’s eyes. “Hey.”

“You’re early,” Toby commented, his tone nonchalant and dismissive, revealing nothing of his true feelings.

“It’s good to see you too.”

Toby growled something inaudible and tugged her into his apartment, practically throwing her bag across the floor.

“What no dinner and a movie?” she asked glibly, knowing the last thing either of them wanted was to be out in public.

“Three weeks, CJ, three long, lonely . . .” he trailed off as she closed the door behind her. “Are you forgetting someone?”

Her smile sent waves through his body, electric pulses that would either need satisfying soon or leave him even more frustrated than last time. “I gave Tom the option of spending the evening having dinner with us or staying at Donna’s.”

“Are we planning on dinner?” he asked, half in jest, half in frustration.

“Exactly why he’s terrorising Josh.” CJ threw her jacket over the back of a chair and ran her fingers through her hair. “He didn’t think we’d be all that much fun.” There was also the possibility of course of her son walking in on something he shouldn’t and spoiling the moment.

“So?”

“Yes, Toby, tonight’s the night.” In anticipation she’d worn new lacy lingerie and spent half a day in the spa.

“No pressure!”

“Another twenty minutes and we would have been doing it in the airport parking lot.” On the flight back to California she had had time to contemplate a missed opportunity. Three weeks a go instead of throwing her on the bed, the image of which kept her awake at night, Toby had settled them on the couch, holding her and kissing her as though he might never get the chance again. By the time his hand had slipped up her stocking clad thigh she had remembered the flight and they had rushed to the airport. Traffic fortunately had been light and Toby had proceeded to second base in the parking lot.

“You weren’t complaining at the time. In fact, if I remember you sounded . . .”

CJ gently cradled his head and kissed him forcefully on the mouth to shut him up. “I’ve never looked more beautiful to you than right now, have I?”

Toby chuckled. “I must admit you look pretty good. But there have been moments. . .”

“Yes?” she asked, her penchant for information making her desperate to know why he cared about her the way he did.

He didn’t want to admit how long he had been noticing her, or how long he had probably been half way in love with her.

“Toby?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Tonight doesn’t depend. . .” He stopped himself before he blew the moment. “No particular order. The day you came to me and asked about a pardon. The first time I watched you with the twins. Asleep on Air Force One. Every White House dinner.”

CJ swallowed hard to dispel the emotions that were threatening to rise to the surface. As much as the two of them needed to be honest with each other, too much honesty and he’d run for the hills. Lightly she pressed her fingers to his lips. “The bedroom’s that way?” She hoped she sounded flirtatious and not the quivering wreck she was.

Toby nodded and kissed her fingers.

“So, are you gonna carry me? Rip my clothes off?”

He gazed at her nervously. “Don’t expect . . .”

“Oh well. Maybe I’ll just rip your clothes off.”

“CJ?”

“That’s good, you got the name right.”

Toby sighed audibly, wondering if it would ever be easy between them.

“Our relationship doesn’t depend on what happens in the next ten minutes, Toby. But if we don’t take the step sex is never going to be fun.”

“Is that a promise?”

CJ gently took his hand. “A long time a go you queried whether I was good in bed, at the time I was great, now Toby it’s a sight to see.” She licked her lips mischievously.

“Well, ok then.” Silently, his eyes firmly fixed on her rear, he allowed himself to be led to the bedroom.

~~~~~~

CJ allowed herself to be pulled back against his chest, his arms holding her tighter than she ever thought possible. Sex hadn’t been as fast and furious as with Danny and she hadn’t experienced the orgasm of her life, although she hoped that was still to come, instead every pre-supposition she’d had about her new lover had been proven right. Toby was no ‘Wham, bam, thank you, man,’ instead he had taken his time, learning to love her body, passionate and intense as he tried to make her happy. For a man who spoke in words, his hands had done his talking, and now he was holding her in the silence that was anything but awkward.

“You ok?”

“Mmm.”

“Claudia Jean.”

She turned slightly and he captured her lips with his own.

“Do you want to eat? Sleep? Take a shower?”

“No,” she replied lazily.

“Ok,” he mumbled, his voice laced with amusement.

They lay wrapped in each other for what seemed like hours, drifting in and out of consciousness.

“Have you thought about Christmas?”

Toby opened one eye. “Random.”

“I meant, well I guess you’ll be in DC.”

“Breakfast with the twins and Andi,” he acknowledged. “Then Josh has invited me over.”

“Josh?” CJ asked, surprised.

“Donna.” It had come as more of an order than an invite, and he had found himself in Crystal City buying presents for the Lyman children like a negligent Uncle who needed to make up for it.

CJ ran her foot over his calf. “That’s handy.”

“It is?”

“Remind me not to engage you in conversation after we make love,” she chuckled lightly.

“The only thing to do after making love is to do it again.” He felt her smile and lightly began to run his fingers across her abdomen. “Christmas?” He had a feeling she wanted to tell him something and he was willing to listen.

“Tom and I are going to be in DC.”

His fingers moving up her body told her he was warming to the idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure she’ll be alright?” Josh asked for the third time since they had left the house.

“No, I just thought we’d abandon our kids to a complete nincompoop.”

“I think he was more concerned about Margaret . . .,” Toby interjected, retreating behind CJ at Donna’s glare.

CJ sighed. “Guys, Margaret ran the White House for eight years, she micromanaged Leo’s life for nearly twenty. I think she can handle four small boys for a few hours.”

“It’s not like she hasn’t babysat before,” Donna announced. “One more isn’t going to make a difference.”

“Mr Lyman, your table is ready,” the hostess announced, appearing at his side. “If you would like to follow me.”

Once they were seated and she was assured they had the specials menu, she left them alone. She returned a few minutes later with their drinks then disappeared with their food order.

“How long are you staying this time?” Donna asked, dipping her fingers into Josh’s beer and savouring the taste.

“Tonight’s my last night.”

“I wish you could stay longer,” she whined, hating the fact her friend seemed to always be leaving.

“I’ll be back in two weeks and we can do the shopping thing. Craving?”

Donna nodded. “Beer, swordfish, eggs, everything I can’t have.”

Josh patted his wife’s hand. “Although that could just be Ainsley’s influence and nothing to do with being pregnant.”

Donna turned her hand over and squeezed his tightly. For a few minutes they became lost in each other, oblivious to their dinner companions or the argument that had begun.

“I’d forgotten what an ass you can be,” CJ said flatly.

“I’d forgotten how impossible you can be.”

“Then you won’t care that I’m leaving.” She rose to her feet and strode purposefully across the room.

Toby growled and felt the sudden urge to bang his head against the table. “I know I have to go after her.”

“Or you could just leave her,” Josh said, smiling slightly. “Maybe she’ll calm down.”

“Oh yeah, I’m so taking relationship advice from you.”

“You guys are in a relationship?“ Josh asked, confusion evident on his face.

Donna rolled her eyes and not for the first time wondered what planet her husband was on. “Yes, Honey. Do you have any idea what just happened?”

“I’m not entirely sure I want to. But it was probably Toby’s fault.”

Toby left the restaurant and looked up and down the street. He caught sight of her ducking down an alley. “It’s more dramatic if you remember to take your purse with you.”

She glared back at him.

“Why don’t you come back inside?”

“Just like that?” she snapped, more than a little peeved at him for starting an argument over dinner.

“I figured there would be some grovelling and begging involved but I was hoping we could save that for later.”

“Yeah?”

“Along with the make up sex.”

“Make up sex?” She closed the distance between them, not sure whether she wanted to hit him or kiss him. He was obviously trying in earnest to make up for being disrespectful to her career and to her life back home, which for Toby was a new thing and proved, she hoped, that they had a chance.

“I thought that was why we fought so much because you enjoyed the make up sex,” he stammered, catching the look in her eyes.

“We’ve never had make up sex.”

“Just think of all the missed opportunities. CJ? What are you doing?”

“If you don’t know. . .” she trailed off, continuing to undo his buckle, intent on having a little fun at his expense and getting him all frustrated in revenge for his earlier comments.

“We’re not going to have sex here.”

“That wasn’t what I had in mind.”

He watched aghast as she lowered herself to her knees. “You can’t do that either.”

“You don’t like what I do with my tongue?”

“Of course but. . .” He lost his train of thought as she began to tease him through his shorts.

Just as suddenly as she started, CJ stopped and rose to her feet.

“CJ,” he growled, clutching at his pants, knowing that dinner was going to be excruciating.

“Yes, honey?”

Toby grabbed her head and pulled her towards him. Forcefully he kissed her on the mouth before she had chance to pull away.

~~~~~~

“So?” CJ asked, her face devoid of any humour.

Toby turned from the closet where he was hanging their outdoor wear. He stared at her blankly.

“Isn’t there something you need to do?”

Realisation dawned and he knew whatever else he had anticipated happening on her last night in town, he had to live up to his promise first. “I apologise.”

CJ folded her arms across her chest.

“I’m sorry for whatever . . .” He stopped abruptly, smarter than Josh, more astute than Sam, knowing he was about to dig a hole bigger than the shuttle debacle. “Claudia Jean, I am sorry for belittling your achievements, for not appreciating your many talents, I apologise for making you doubt how much I love you.”

CJ’s cheeks flushed pink with the sincerity of his words. She cleared her throat. “Didn’t you say something about getting on our hands and knees?”

Toby allowed himself a small smile “There are two problems with that idea. The first is that I would never be able to get back up again. The second is that the last thing I’d want to do on my hands and knees is . . .”

“You also mentioned something about make up sex,” she mumbled quietly, hoping he would lean in closer to hear her.

Toby edged closer. “I didn’t catch that.”

“Take me to bed, Toby.”

He didn’t need telling twice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was something about winter in DC that CJ loved and it had nothing to do with living in California. Over a decade ago she had barely set foot outside the West Wing between November and February, long hours instead spent wrapped up in her office watching the snow fall and dealing with one crisis after another. From her office she had an unimpeded view of the wintery grounds of the White House and for a few minutes at a time the world was perfect.

For the last few years she had been in Santa Monica enjoying the sunshine in the spare hours she had between taking care of Tom and working for the Hollis Foundation.

A decade on and she was walking along the sidewalk, staring through the gates at her former place of employment. It still looked impressive but she no longer wanted to step beyond the iron gates, for her the memories were more than enough.

Christmas was days away, the first snow had fallen and she could see her breath in the cold air. And she loved every minute of it and every second she spent in the city.

Arriving late the previous night she had been surprised to find a message waiting for her and an invitation to breakfast. Intrigue had led her to leaving Tom with Toby, hopefully to work on their relationship, and taking the long walk across town.

CJ entered the hotel lobby and cast her eyes around the room searching for her breakfast guest.

“CJ.”

“Mr Chairman.” She shook his hand firmly and settled herself in the chair.

“I haven’t been that in a long time, CJ. It’s just Barry.” He waited for her to be seated and waved the waiter over.

She nodded.

“Would you like a drink?”

“A mocha latte, thank you.” She waited until the waiter had left. “I was surprised to get your call.”

“Josh has a big mouth.” He sipped his Americano. “Actually you might want to change your numbers. He’s very free with contact information.”

“Ahh.”

“How is Toby?” Barry asked, watching her face to see if his intuition was correct.

She pondered the correct answer to the question. “A happier man.”

Barry nodded in understanding, his intuition spot on. “I guess you want to know why I called.”

“It’s been pressing on my mind,” she acknowledged. “Just a little.”

“I’m here on behalf of the President, the Democratic party and the United States Congress.” He leaned forward and smiled. “We want you to run for Congress.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, we’re serious.”

“You’re kidding me. You want me to run?” she clarified, her voice rising an octave with each syllable.

“You’re not a political lightweight, CJ. You’re not gonna be a freshman congressman who has no idea how things work.”

“You want a puppet?”

“No, we want you. Someone who has strong views, supports the majority of the Democratic platform but who isn’t afraid to be creative,” he trailed off. “I realize you have people you need to consult and you’ll have questions but I’m not approaching anyone else, CJ. We want you.”

“My back ground is in public relations, not politics.”

Barry pulled out a folder from his briefcase and began to read. “You were a National Merit Scholar. You earned your master's degree at U.C. Berkeley. As for not having a political background, you worked for EMILY's List, you helped raise a lot of money for pro-choice candidates and managed never to voice your own opinion on a woman’s right to choose. You were Press Secretary and Chief of Staff during a turbulent Administration. In 2001, you received the Matrix Award from Women in Communication. You’ve been married once to former White House Correspondent Danny Concannan and have a son, Thomas. There are no skeletons in your private life, at least none that we could find. Also,” he began with a smile, “you’re good in bed, but that didn’t affect our decision.”

CJ flushed pink. “Sir.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologised, looking anything but contrite. “You have ideal credentials, you’ve worked with some of the greatest political minds this country has ever had, and Josh Lyman, who, even if I have to beat him over the head with a stick, will be our next Chairman.”

“I don’t know what to say. I mean I’ve never considered it,” she babbled, completely stunned. “I’m not sure . . .”

“Don’t give me an answer today. Enjoy your coffee, we’ll talk about old friends, then take some time, think about it. Talk to Toby, Josh, whoever it is that’s your counsel.”

CJ sipped her beverage. “Thank you for asking.”

“You have some pretty big hitters, and influential fans in the party behind you, CJ. We’d be idiots for not trying to recruit you.”

“Ok, so now I’m really embarrassed. Maybe we should talk about something else.”

Barry nodded, aware that he had probably made her feel uncomfortable. “So how is Abigail doing?”

~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ walked out onto the sidewalk wondering when it was that she entered the parallel universe. Routing in her purse, she pulled out her cell and dialled a familiar number. Seconds later she was connected. “Annabeth, it’s CJ.”

“Hey, how goes it?”

“Can I come to the apartment?”

“Anytime,” the younger woman replied.

“Now?”

Annabeth looked at the chaos that seemed part and parcel of her life. “Sure.”

“I promise not to notice the mess. It’s just that I’ve been made an offer and I think I need your advice.”

“Sure, come on over.”

Twenty minutes later, chilled to the bone and her head no clearer, CJ arrived at the small Dupont apartment. She waited for her friend to buzz her up.

“So what’s going on?” Annabeth asked, tucking Hannah in her blanket and indicating she should take a seat.

“How’s my favourite girl?” CJ asked, settling in the chair and rearranging the large oversized pink cushions.

“I’m fine. Though I’m guessing you mean Hannah. She’s doing better. Her appetite is better but Josh’s brand of snacks probably isn’t that good for her. So what’s up?”

“The DCCC want me to run for congress.”

“Wow. Flattering. How does Toby feel about it?”

“I haven’t told him yet. I wanted some unbiased opinions first.”

Annabeth nodded in understanding. “My advice to you is if you don’t like the premise of the question don’t take it.”

“Annabeth?”

Her friend smiled. “I think you should go for it. Look what you’ve done with ten billion dollars. Imagine what you could do with the American budget to play with. Okay, so not play with but . . . You’d be great on Foreign Relations. Women’s issues.”

“The big boys aren’t gonna like it.”

“The big boys have had their chance to screw up this country, now it’s time for us.” She rose to her feet. “Coffee?”

“Love one. I’m not sure whether I want to do it. I mean there’s Tom to think about. I’ve been away from DC for so long. What about staff?”

“Yeah, because you don’t know anyone here. You have no contacts,” Annabeth lamented.

CJ sighed.

“And you know Josh and Sam and Toby are all going to want to help.”

CJ groaned. “Yeah, that’s what worries me.“

“It has to be something you want to do, something you feel you can do and not because you want power or because everyone else is telling you you’d be good. And,“ she allowed herself a small smile. “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t considering it. You would have dismissed it there and then.“

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Pick a subject.” She leaned over and checked her daughter was asleep.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Are you?”

“I asked first,” CJ mock-grumbled.

“No.”

“Annabeth, you’re allowed to look at guys.”

“I’m not ready.”

“You’re thirty-six years old, and Leo wouldn’t have wanted you to spend the rest of your life alone.”

“I have Hannah,” Annabeth said lamely.

CJ shook her head. “Hardly the same.”

“It‘s not that easy. Between the hospital and the White House . . .”

“I know some nice guys. We know some. How about Will?” CJ suggested, wondering if she could finally put an end to the Kate/Will disaster.

“Ek. Ignoring the fact he’s like a brother, he and Kate, well y’know, he’s not my type.” Annabeth pulled a face. “I’m not good at needy.”

“You’d be Sam’s type.”

“Two words. Blonde Republican!”

“Um. Josh is married. Toby . . .” CJ trailed off, knowing that there was no way she was ever going to let him go.

“Is so not my type.”

“It actually disturbs me that you actually considered it. Ok. So we look further a field.”

“Or not,” Annabeth groaned, wondering why they were suddenly playing match maker.

“We could do the speed dating thing. God knows Kate needs to get laid.”

“My understanding was that you didn’t need to get laid.”

“Ah,” CJ sighed. “Well, yeah, that’s true.”

“Yeah, news travels. So?”

“You want to know if he’s good in bed?”

“No. I want the non-icky details.”

CJ grinned. “It was more War and Peace than a Mills and Boon.”

“So spill. Let me live vicariously through you,” Annabeth pleaded. “But you can stop before it gets to the bedroom.”

“Toby’s not as traditional as you think,” CJ admitted with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I’d have to stop way before we get to the bedroom if you don’t want it to get icky.”

Annabeth shook her head and tried unsuccessfully to dispel the image that was now emerging in her mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to Page Two

On To Chapter Twenty- Three