Title:          You Kissed Me First, Sweetheart

Pairings:     Leo/Jordan, Leo/Ainsley, a hint of Leo/Margaret

Rating:       PG

Spoilers:    Up to and including season four

Summary:  Ainsley comes back to DC after three years away.

Notes:       This was going to be called “The Man That Made Me a Woman” just to irk a very good friend. <g> But as I wrote it I decided against it.

Jeanine, for you, because you were poorly and I wasn’t there.

Completed: January 2003

*~*~*~*

The whole place was in chaos, Ainsley concluded as she walked through the halls of the West Wing. Her visitor’s badge flapped against the lapel of her charcoal colored pantsuit as she walked into the Communications Bullpen for the first time in three years. She had left by choice, never looking back and never really expecting to return, circumstances had changed that.

Toby was bellowing from inside his office, frustration evident in his voice, while his two assistants rushed between the bullpen and his office, arms ladened with files.

Ginger gave her a small smile and disappeared back inside Toby’s office only to reappear seconds later with his coffee mug.

“Hey, Ainsley,” Ginger said wearily. “When did you get back?”

Ainsley smiled and nodded. “It was late last night or rather early this morning when I arrived at Dulles, then I had to take a cab and check in at my hotel. So, I guess, today.”

“I’d love to catch up but as you can see. . .” The red head waved her hand at the chaos.

Both women jumped as Toby’s voice boomed again.

“Coming,” Ginger grumbled, shaking her head and placing the mug precariously on the edge of the desk. His coffee would have to wait. “Maybe we can talk at the wedding.”

The wedding. The whole reason for Ainsley’s visit to DC. And no doubt the cause of the ensuing bedlam. Leo was tying the knot with his long time girlfriend, which in the District meant a big wedding with all the hoopla that went with it. Ainsley had been invited, well technically Sam had been invited and had asked her to be his guest. He wasn’t to know that she and Leo had history, that he had been the reason for the blonde’s sudden departure. She hadn’t been able to say no to the invitation, whether because of the hopeful look on Sam’s face or the idea of seeing Leo again she wasn’t sure. Here she was, though, in Washington, her mind flooded with memories of him.

“You have the schedule, right?” Ginger asked, breaking her reverie. “If not, I’m sure Margaret has one.” She disappeared inside the office, leaving Ainsley standing alone in the middle of the bullpen.

Margaret was one of the few people who Leo had confided in about his relationship with Ainsley, the one true ally they had. She had driven Ainsley to the airport when she’d left and told her quietly that Leo was being a fool. The two women would have kept in touch had it not been for the old age taboo about loyalties and Margaret’s were strictly to her boss, even if he was an idiot sometimes.

Ainsley shook her head. That was the past. It had been three years, almost another lifetime. She had moved on and Leo was getting married so he obviously had. Something told her Margaret probably hadn’t changed.

The main door to Leo’s office was open, but from her quick appraisal, Ainsley noted he wasn’t there. Sighing in relief, she walked into his outer office and came to a halt.

Margaret was exactly where she expected her to be, sitting at her desk, banging at her keyboard, post-it notes and folders littering her desk.

Ainsley cleared her throat and took another step into the room.

The red head glanced up and a fleeting look of surprise crossed her face to be replaced seconds later with a smile. “Ainsley?”

“Hey, Margaret. How’s things?” The smile was genuine, as was the uneasiness with which she kept one eye trained on the connecting door to Leo’s office.

There was an awkward moment while Margaret thought about what to say, a second when she wondered how Leo would react if he was to walk in and a minute passed before she stood up and hugged Ainsley to her.

“Ginger said you might have the schedule. Sam is less than organized and I think it would be better if we actually made it to the ceremony before the bride, especially as Sam is prone to be a little fastidious about his appearance,” Ainsley grinned, finally pausing for breath.

“Yes, of course.” Margaret hadn’t been told Ainsley was going to be at the wedding and she doubted Leo had either. She made a mental note to organize place cards and an extra seat at the rehearsal dinner. “It’s here.” Margaret lifted a pale blue folder from under her typing and pulled out three sheets stapled together. Her eyes darted to the door and back to Ainsley.

“How’s he been?” Ainsley asked following her friend’s gaze. She wanted his assistant to say he had been depressed and had taken months to get over her. It had certainly taken her months to be able to awaken without expecting to see his head on the pillow next to her.

Margaret wanted to say that Leo had pined for months, that he jumped every time his private line rang, that he was too damn proud to look for her. She wanted to add that Jordan was a rebound thing, who wasn’t right for him, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t her place.

“He’s been fine.”

They shared weak smiles, both knowing that it wasn‘t really an answer.

“I need to go and . . .” Ainsley started, words failing her. All she needed was to leave before Leo arrived. One look at his face and she wasn’t sure she could stay for the wedding.

Margaret settled herself behind her desk and shuffled the folder of letters that needed signing. “I’ll see you at the rehearsal dinner.”

Ainsley stopped abruptly and turned around. “Rehearsal dinner?”

“Yeah, tomorrow night. Didn’t Sam tell you?” Margaret sighed. Between Sam, and Will, and Josh for that matter, the wedding arrangements had been a nightmare. Sam had taken weeks to R.S.V.P, then not mentioned a guest, she’d had to take Will to buy a new tuxedo because as it turned out he was more of a disaster with alcohol than Josh, and Josh, well Josh was just Josh.

No, he’d definitely let that one slip by, Ainsley mused. “Okay, then if Sam is going, I guess I’ll see you there,” she managed to mumble, making a quick exit and scrunching up her face. Leo in a tuxedo, because any woman in their right mind was going to make Leo were a tux, with the woman he was going to marry - it was going to be a great evening she thought sarcastically.

*~*~*~*

It hadn’t been Leo’s idea to have a bachelor party, in fact he’d tried on several occasions to find an excuse for not going, unfortunately Jed, being Jed, wasn’t going to be put off.

After much persuasion, gentle, and from Abbey, Leo had agreed to a quiet card game in the residence with the President, Sam and the Senior staff. Which of course meant that the spin boys would be drinking, and no doubt passing out somewhere and Jed would make chilli. Not exactly Leo’s idea of a good night out. He could think of other places he’d rather be.

Leo stepped out of the elevator in the mansion and headed towards the President’s study. The others were already there, he noted, several beer bottles open and the table littered with chips.

“. . .so the blonde Republican sex kitten is back, something you want to share, Spanky?” Josh teased, waving his bottle through the air.

“You’re calling me Spanky?” Sam groaned.

“You and Ainsley?” Josh prompted, understanding why Sam was so keen to spend so much time in Orange County.

Leo stopped frozen in the doorway. Sam and Ainsley? He hadn’t heard anything about that one, in fact her name had hardly been mentioned in three years, even Margaret had been silent on Sam‘s love life. A strange fluttering started in the pit of his stomach as he continued to stand in the doorway and listen to the boys bantering.

“I’ve invited her to the wedding, yes. We have lunch sometimes. That’s all,” Sam clarified. “She’s. . . I don’t know. I thought maybe. . .” He stopped suddenly as he spotted Leo and waved his hand in greeting. “Hey, Leo.”

“Sam, Josh, Will, Toby. Where’s the President?” Leo asked, taking a seat and grabbing a can of soda from the nearby ice bucket.

Toby took a swig of beer and shuffled the cards. “He said something about cumin and disappeared. We didn’t ask.”

“Leo?” Jed grinned, appearing behind him and slapping his friend on the back. “Two days to go, eh?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Getting nervous yet?”

Leo inwardly groaned. It had been Jed who had persuaded him to propose in the first place, Abbey who had organized the wedding, and lately it seemed the wedding was less about Leo and more about his friends. All he had really done in the last few months was buy the rings and nod at the appropriate moment.

“Having sex with the same woman for the rest of your life,” Josh sighed, blowing against the rim of his bottle.

“And your point is, Josh?” Jed asked, a smirk appearing at the corner of his lips. “Abbey and I have been together for 38 years.”

Toby covered his face with his hand. He really didn’t need the images that was instilling. Sex and the President was enough to put him off his drink. “Can we just play cards?”

Josh on the other hand scrunched up his face and took another swig of beer. He couldn’t imagine it, except of course with Donna and that was out of the question. He reached for a new bottle.

Leo closed his eyes, ignoring the chatter around him as he thought about spending the rest of his life with Jordan. Her face dissipated behind his eyelids and Ainsley’s gentle features appeared.

They had been lovers for nearly six months when he’d gotten cold feet about their affair and announced it was over. He’d been less than gentle when he’d ended it, especially considering he had been the one to initiate it. They had been debating a long forgotten issue and he had kissed her, more to silence her than anything else. One kiss had lead to another and before he knew it they had been sharing take-out at her apartment. Some nights when he closed his eyes he could still picture her alabaster skin against his crisp white sheets, her long blonde hair tumbling over his pillows and her smile as she woke him.

Of course, a lot had happened since then and he’d moved on. He was getting married, to a wonderful woman, and Ainsley was ancient history. Or rather he’d thought she was until Josh had mentioned her name.

Taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, Leo picked up the cards from the table, hoping the constant chatter around the table would distract him from his memories.

*~*~*~*

Sam opened the car door and extended his hand to his companion.

Ainsley took it in her own and stepped out onto the sidewalk, her gown swirling around her as she tried to smooth down the satin. “How many are going to be at this dinner?”

He shrugged and gave her a wide grin. “It’s just a small gathering. Practically family only.”

She groaned audibly. Family only meant the Senior staff, their dates and the First Family, not the sort of gathering she was now used to. Of course she should feel honored that she was invited, except as Sam’s date it meant they would be vetting her, making unsubtle comments, or rather Josh would be unsubtle, about when she and Sam were going to get hitched. Which was never. She didn’t feel that way about Sam, he was a dear sweet friend, nothing more.

“Josh is bringing Donna.”

“Donna?” Ainsley asked, a little surprised. At their last lunch date, Sam had laughingly told her about Josh and his college lecturer, Susie or something.

“Leo apparently told him he wasn’t allowed to bring his flavor of the month. So he asked Donna.” Things were so simple for Sam and he was pretty naïve when it came to his best friend. He was practically the only one who couldn’t see Donna and Josh were crazy about one another.

Linking arms with Sam, Ainsley let him lead her through the lobby and into main reception room of the hotel.

The small gathering that Sam had described actually numbered fifty people, all milling around chatting and drinking the champagne on offer. It had been Abbey’s suggestion that everyone wear formal wear and the room was filled with an array of brightly colored gowns and men in tuxedos.

Sam placed a hand on her arm and gently guided her across the room. “Jordan?” he waited for Leo’s fiancée to turn around and face them. “May I introduce Ainsley Hayes?”

Jordan smiled and held out her hand. “The lone Republican in the Bartlet family. Pleased to meet you.”

Everything she’d heard about Leo’s fiancée was right, Ainsley concluded. Jordan was the perfect political wife - mature, well-dressed and articulate, not to mention politically uncontroversial. The total opposite of Ainsley in fact. “Ms. Kendall, it is an honor, my honor to meet you. Congratulations on your impending nuptials. I hope, and I‘m sure, you will be very happy.”

“Jordan, please,” she glanced around to check on Leo and returned her attention to her guests. “Help yourself to a drink, Ainsley, dinner will be served shortly.” With a small nod, she moved off to circulate.

Leo ended his conversation with Toby, the only person who would want to talk business at a wedding party, and turned to see who had recently arrived. His eyes fell on the young blonde woman chatting to his fiancée and he found himself having to swallow hard.

With her hair secured on top of her head, he could trace the long line of her neck with his eyes, vivid images of his own lips nipping and sucking the familiar skin all too clear. She was as beautiful as ever, he mused.

“Sam certainly kept that one quiet,” CJ commented dryly, coming up behind him. “Leo?”

He shook his head and turned to look at her. “Sorry.”

“Can’t keep your eyes off her, eh? Don’t worry, she’s not going anywhere.”

That was what he was worried about, her leaving before he had chance to talk to her, and he desperately wanted to talk to her. Except it wasn’t Jordan he couldn’t keep his eyes off. Grinning at CJ, he turned back to the two women and suddenly forgot how to breathe. The room and its occupants faded away as he found himself gazing into the deep blue eyes of his former lover across the room.

Ainsley held onto Sam’s arm as he chatted with Margaret, she had been searching the room for Leo since she’d arrived and finally she had found him. Her eyes widened as Leo continued to stare at her and unconsciously she began to smooth her dress.

The green satin picked up the lights in the room as her eyes danced. He hadn’t changed in the least, his eyes twinkled and the tux outlined his body, so familiar to her touch. In that second she forgot all about Sam.

Leo took a step and stopped. He wanted to speak to her, to ask why she left, but he couldn’t. If he went to her, and kissed her cheek, as he desperately wanted to, everyone in the vicinity was going to know how he felt about her. Instead he forced himself to stay where he was, watching her.

Ainsley couldn’t tear her eyes away. Feelings came flooding back, emotions that she had held in check for years and it took all the strength she had not to run out of the room.

Somewhere across the room, someone announced dinner and the spell was broken.

Leo found Jordan and Sam led his guest to the table. Hours later, Leo watched Ainsley walk out with Sam and his one and only chance to talk to her disappear.

*~*~*~*

“Your suit’s in the closet, the Senate minority leader called to pass on his congratulations and I need you to sign these.” Margaret stopped talking and cocked her head to one side in consternation. “Leo?”

Leo continued to stare out of the window. He’d hardly slept a wink the night before, her face drifting into his dreams. He’d let her go for reasons which no longer seemed important and it was too late to do anything about it.

“Leo?” she repeated lightly squeezing his arm. There was something worrying him and it didn’t take a genius to figure out it wasn’t pre-wedding nerves.

“Margaret? How long have you been here?” Leo asked gruffly, turning to look at her.

There were so many ways she could have responded to that. She’d been his assistant for nearly fifteen years, in love with him for twelve of those, and his friend for most of them.

“Ten minutes or so,” she offered quietly. “Can I get you anything? Call anyone for you?”

He lifted his head and locked eyes with her. She was so transparent at times and he guessed he was too. “Who did you have in mind?”

Margaret rolled her eyes. “Look, it’s none of my business, which has never stopped me before. I saw you last night, and if you still feel like that about her, than maybe you shouldn’t go through with today.”

There were days when he didn’t understand a word of what she saying, even days when she was especially cryptic. For once in his life he knew exactly what she was saying.

“You can’t make yourself love someone, just as you can’t make yourself stop loving someone. Jordan is lovely, and I know she’s been there when things have been tough.”

“So have you for that matter,” he said quietly.

“This isn’t about me.” She wasn’t about to confess undying love, it was too late for that. “But if it isn’t love, if she isn’t the one you want to wake up with every day, and see every night, then you shouldn’t be marrying her. If you’re going through with it because the other option is too tough, then I’m not sure I want to know you,” Margaret stated with conviction.

The corners of Leo’s lips quirked up. He hadn’t noticed before just how much Margaret had stepped into Mrs Landingham’s shoes. It was quite frightening, although he suspected Delores hadn’t felt the way about Jed that Margaret had once felt about him. “You should go and get ready. I need to change and I have some things I need to think about.”

Margaret bobbed her head. “All you really need to think about is whether you love Leigh and whether she loves you.” Picking up her purse, she headed through the apartment and closed the door behind her.

Leo sighed and turned back to the window. He didn’t need to think about whether he loved her. He knew deep down that he did. For a few brief minutes over dinner the night before he’d had the opportunity to watch her unguarded. She was captivating. The fact that she was with Sam pretty much told him she wasn’t in love with him though. That left only his feelings for Jordan to consider. There really wasn’t anything to think about.

*~*~*~*

The hotel ballroom was filling up. The guests had been arriving for the last half hour and Leo seemed to have shaken hands with a hundred people. Well, closer to two.

Margaret had raised her eyebrows at him when he’d arrived and he’d shaken his head. He’d thought about things carefully. Jordan loved him, he loved her, and they could be very happy together - after all he wasn’t going to make the same mistakes he made with Jenny. Since then he’d been avoiding Margaret’s steely gaze.

Ainsley and Sam had arrived ten minutes earlier and Leo had briefly shaken their hands, before moving on to the next guest.

In her seat in the fifth row, Ainsley glanced at Sam and took a deep breath. It was no good. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t sit there and watch the man she loved marry someone else. Jordan would sweep down the aisle any minute and if Ainsley left then she’d draw attention to herself. It was now or never.

“Sam,” she whispered, waiting for him to turn away from Josh. “I’m just going to get some air.”

“It’s about to start,” he stated, his eyes asking unspoken questions.

“Yes, but I have a headache and I saw some jugs of water in the lobby. I’ll take some Advil and be back,” she lied, squeezing his hand and giving him a weak smile.

“Want me to. . .?”

Ainsley shook her head and rose to her feet, her eyes searching Leo out. Taking one last long look at her former lover she twirled around and walked away.

Leo saw the flash of red and felt his heart jump. Ainsley was walking steadily towards the exit, her heels barely making a sound on the carpet. He debated what to do. There was something in her gait that suggested she was leaving. Common sense told him to stay put and let her go. A fleeting moment later he was slipping out of the side door and scanning the lobby.

She was nowhere in sight. His stomach lurched as he searched for the red dress he knew she was wearing, then he saw the long blonde hair and his breath quickened. Without a second’s thought he walked after her, coming to a sudden halt on the steps.

Ainsley was standing in the middle of the parking lot, looking lost. The rain that had started in the last half hour was now coming down in heavy sheets, soaking her dress.

“Ainsley?” he called, walking towards her, ignoring the impending storm.

Her eyes lit up at the sight of him and she almost smiled. “Leo? What are you doing out here?”

He shrugged and glanced around. “Getting some air.”

“I need to get a cab,” Ainsley offered, pushing the wet clingy hair from her face.

“You aren’t staying?”

“I can’t,” she said, her voice barely audible. “You need to get back inside. You’re supposed to be getting married.”

“I’m standing in the parking lot on my wedding day in the pouring rain, what does that tell you?” Leo retorted, running a hand through his wet hair.

“I don’t know,” she managed to mutter quietly. “But what do you want to tell me?”

Leo groaned. He wasn’t really sure what the hell he was doing. Ainsley had disappeared on him, without giving him a chance to explain, but then she’d come back for his wedding. “Why did you come?”

“I have a regular engagement with Sam, once a month to have lunch. He was so kind as to ask, if I was free, to come as his guest.” She paused for breath. “He gave me that look, the angelic one, and I couldn’t say no.”

“Leigh?”

Her heart leapt in her stomach at the use of her pet name. No one else had ever called her that, there was no one else who had that effect on her.

“I should go back in there,” Leo said, glancing back over his shoulder and catching sight of Margaret pacing up and down on the portico.

It didn’t surprise him that she was there, watching over him. She’d been there for practically every crisis he’d ever had. If anything she gave him the confidence to make the right decisions.

Ainsley nodded mutely. For a brief second she’d had a crazy notion that after seeing her again he would leave Jordan and confess undying love to her.

He took a step then another and turned away.

“I still love you. I thought that maybe I didn’t, but as soon as I saw you in the tuxedo I knew I still did.” She knew she was babbling, but it was her last chance, before her nerve escaped her.

Leo stopped and closed his eyes. She had lousy timing, he’d give her that much. But she’d succeeded where he’d failed, she’d used the love word.

Margaret smiled and slipped back into the hotel. She’d give him five minutes and check again. Then she’d have to get Josh to make the announcement. Even he couldn’t screw that one up.

“Of course, it is stupid of me to consider that you might still care about me. And I understand from Sam that Jordan is a lovely person, and she would make a good wife for you. Perhaps you would pass on my apologies to Sam? And I can make a quiet exit.”

“Leigh,” he called, turning finally and looking her over.

She looked stunning, he admitted. Her usually silken blonde hair, now wet, hung loosely to her waist, sticking to her bare back. Red had always suited her, whether it be her business suits or the sexy underwear she’d loved to tease him with and the cut certainly defined her curves. His eyes trailed across her body.

“Please don’t be nice. I couldn’t handle it if you were nice.”

“Are you going to leave again?” he asked quietly, his eyes roaming her body and finally settling on her face.

“You left me.”

Technically he did. He’d told her calmly that it wasn’t going to work, that they were in a middle of an election campaign and as she’d cried he left. By the time he’d changed his mind, she’d been on a plane. Of course he’d had three years to find her, but other things had gotten in the way, like an election. “You got on a plane.”

“Leo, I. . .,” she stopped suddenly, for once lost for words. “Look you should just go back inside and marry the woman you love.”

“I don’t love her,” he started as she turned to leave. “That is to say I love her, but I don’t think I’m in love with her.”

“You don’t think? That would imply that you have doubts and that you have given it some thought.” Her eyes widened. “LEO!”

“Leigh, I. . .”

Thunder rumbled in the sky and they both turned to look up.

“I should go. I need to get changed before I catch a cold,” Ainsley offered, holding her purse against her body protectively. She glanced around for a cab.

Leo sighed. “Damn it,” he muttered. “Look, I have a room in the hotel, come inside and get out of those wet things.”

Her eyes widened as she glanced between the sky and Leo.

“I have a spare pair of sweats and a shirt you can borrow,” he clarified.

“What about. . .?”

Leo grinned back at her, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Margaret’s a good girl, she’ll take care of it.”

“Leo!” Ainsley advanced at him, forgetting for a moment the years they had been apart. She lifted her hand to slap his arm and he caught it, pulling her towards him. “Leo?”

One arm wrapped around her waist as his other hand cupped her cheek. “Look, I’m dependable, reliable Leo 364 days of the year. Today, I want to be me.” He gazed deep into her eyes. “Besides I’m frightened if I go back in there, you’ll leave again.”

“Oh, Leo,” she cried, leaning into his touch. “Are you going to marry her?“

He shook his head, “I can’t. . .“

“Then, I won’t leave, I promise, not if you want me to stay.”

His lips barely brushed hers before he pulled back. “Then can we please go inside, Leigh? Change into dry clothes. Take a shower even. And talk?”

“We were never very good at the just talking thing,” Ainsley said, grinning. The tension slipped from her body as she gazed up at him.

The growl started deep in his throat as he tugged her head towards his and kissed her deeply.

“For Pete’s sake, get a room.”

“Margaret,” Leo sighed, holding Ainsley’s head against his shoulder and turning to look at his assistant.

She handed him the umbrella she was carrying and gave Ainsley a warm smile. “I guess I should get Josh to make a speech. Or better still tell Donna to make an honest man of him.”

Leo’s eyes widened.

“Oh jeez boss, you’re standing out here with your tongue down Ainsley’s throat, you can hardly judge.” Her smile faded, “What do I tell Jordan?”

”That Leo needs to talk to her privately.” At Leo’s widening eyes, she smiled.” I’m going to wait in your room, take a shower, and order room service, because I’m starving.” Silently she slipped from his arms. “I’m not going anywhere, Leo. I’ve waited three years. I can wait a few more minutes, hours maybe, days probably not.”

“She’s saying - don’t screw this up,” Margaret paraphrased. “Not least because you’ll have me to answer to.”

Leo glared at her and she shook her head.

“Impervious. . .it’s catching.“ Bobbing her head, she moved to leave. “You might need this,” she offered, extending her hand to reveal a key card.

Ainsley took the plastic key and smiled at the older woman. “Thank you, Margaret, it is by me very much appreciated. Leo, I’ll be waiting.”

As the rain continued to fall heavily, Leo watched the two women head back to the hotel, the umbrella dangling at his side. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to Jordan, how he was going to explain his sudden change of heart but as the rain soaked through to his skin, he knew he was making the right decision.

Ainsley was going to be waiting for him, he couldn’t and wouldn’t let her leave again. A smile quirked at his lips as he thought about her in his bathrobe and the pale alabaster skin that awaited him beneath. A long time ago he’d kissed her in a moment of weakness, now he was going to let her know she was his weakness.

Taking a deep breath, he headed back to the hotel, ready to begin his life again.

The End