John watched CJ leave his office and let out the breath he had been holding. Ten years ago his life had been a disaster and instead of hitting the bottle he had chosen another path.

He had always expected it to come back and haunt him, surprised that it hadn’t in the last campaign.

There were positive elements to those six months. Things he wished he could live over. One of them had just walked out of his office.

Of course after the conversation he had just had he was pretty sure CJ didn’t feel the same way.

As it was he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about her any time soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a balmy night outside, the rain finally stopping the night before, but people still mingled in the foyer of the Kennedy Center rather than on the patio.

It was crowded and John had guided his date up on to the balcony.

“If you keep fiddling with my tie, people are going to start talking,” John teased.

“And if you keep staring at that woman the DC police are gonna intervene.”

John Hoynes sighed and resumed watching the couple across the Kennedy Center. He hadn’t been able to stop himself since he’d caught sight of the deep emerald gown and the woman that wore it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ adjusted the wrap that covered her bare shoulders and once more linked arms with her date. She had thought about cancelling but Ben’s daily calls and enthusiasm for the concert had won her over. Besides which after the week she’d had she deserved a good night out.

Her eyes danced once more as she watched Ben’s eyes drift to her cleavage. Once again she silently thanked Carol for making her wear the dress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dad?”

John reacted to the hand hitting his arm and turned. “Yes, Honey?”

Catherine was the spitting image of himself, he had to admit. Tall, well toned and long jet black hair she attracted her fair share of admirers. Tonight she had chosen to accompany her father, knowing as she did so that their photograph would adorn every newspaper the following Monday morning and probably every news show once the book article had been printed.

“Want me to ask for her phone number?” Catherine teased, thankful her parents had finally called the day on their disastrous marriage.

He already had the Press Secretary’s phone number, and a copy of her FBI file. John had known when they first took office what CJ could do to him. He needed to be sure she wouldn’t talk. Until that afternoon he hadn’t even been sure she remembered.

“Jeez, Dad, get over it.”

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you look tonight?”

In truth she had begun to wonder if he noticed the simple silver silk that draped her body. She smiled in thanks.

“We should be taking our seats,” he commented watching CJ and her date slip through to the auditorium. Taking her arm, he guided her on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben waited for CJ to settle herself before he took his seat. “Isn’t that the Former Vice President?” he asked nudging her with his shoulder and indicating the couple in the distance. He was still unused to being in DC, to seeing people in the flesh he had previously only viewed on television.

CJ followed his gaze, her eyes narrowing as she spotted John and his young companion. It was typical she decided of men like him, each woman younger and prettier than the last. “Yeah.”

He reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with her. Picking up on his guest’s annoyance, Ben shut up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ picked up the Post as she headed through the lobby to her desk on Monday morning. Her eyes were drawn to the picture and the underlying caption. The stunning young woman’s eyes danced back at her. She had to admit they made a beautiful couple - both tall, dark and striking. Finally she studied the caption - Former VP John Hoynes and his daughter Catherine at the Kennedy Centre Saturday night.

She hadn’t seen Catherine in nearly two years and then only in the jeans and tank top students seemed to favour. The young woman had certainly grown up.

Some of the anger she had been harbouring dissipated.

The man who had been causing her to lay awake at night, the man who seemed so smooth and practiced when he’d seduced her, or she’d seduced him, that part was hazy, couldn’t get a date.

It would have been funny if it was anyone else.

“Someone’s looking pleased with themselves.” Carol grinned, settling herself on the couch for their regular morning meetings.

“What?”

“You were smiling, that usually means good news.” Carol frowned and tried to see what her boss had been studying so intently. “Ah. If he wasn’t such a jerk he’d be a catch.”

“Carol!” CJ groaned. “Are you that in need of a good lay?”

“Yes, I work in the White House.” She couldn’t remember the last time she had been on a date, let alone have sex. “We haven’t all got a sexy outdoor type to snuggle up with.”

“Did you come in here for a reason or just to bug me?”

“We have a meeting.”

CJ had been so lost in thinking about Hoynes and the past that she had forgotten all about the staff. “Well where are they?” she snapped.

Carol rolled her eyes and pretend to read the file in front of her. She had been hoping that after her date that weekend CJ might actually stay in a good mood for more than a few hours. The odds weren’t looking good. Surreptitiously she studied her boss. No, CJ definitely wasn’t going to be a bundle of laughs to work for that day. Carol hoped the others arrived soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell is he doing here?” CJ hissed into Toby’s ear, drawing his attention to the doorway.

Toby wasn’t sure he could believe it either but then Hoynes was a Democrat and this was a Caucus party. “Damn. Make sure he stays away from the President and Leo.”

“You don’t say?” she deadpanned. “I was gonna invite him to join their table.”

It was going to be one of those evenings, Toby concluded - a potential disaster, a pissed off Press Secretary, not that it was unusual these days, and enough sexual tension to light up the room.

“Want me to deal with it?”

CJ shook her head and straightened the jacket of her pant suit. “You lack the necessary attributes.” She was ready for round two and she wasn’t about to allow Hoynes to hijack any more free publicity for his book.

“John.” CJ plastered a smile on her face and extended her hand.

“Good evening, CJ.” His smile was genuine.

“May I have a word, Sir? In private.” She indicated a quiet corner with her head.

He inwardly groaned and followed her. He had some inclination as to what was coming - the impending lecture - and it wasn‘t going to be pretty.

They came to a halt and CJ’s gaze drifted around the room before it came to settle on his face.

“I thought I made myself clear in your office.”

“You did,” he said quietly. “I’m not here to cause trouble.”

CJ moved closer. “So why are you here?”

“My marriage is over and the apartment was feeling claustrophobic.”

Her hands began to move frantically through the air as she struggled to control her temper.

“CJ, there is a technology bill about to reach committee, I wanted to talk to a few House members I know. See if there is anything I can do to help it through.”

“And that’s all?” She couldn’t believe that he wasn’t there to cause trouble.

“Is that why you came over, to handle me?”

He sounded disappointed and for a fleeting second she felt guilty. It disappeared almost immediately. “ Just keep away from the President.”

“It was nice seeing again too, CJ,” he said to her retreating back.

~~~~~~

John slammed the ball against the wall, watching as it rebounded and hit his partner in the face.

“Jesus, John, what got up your ass?” He patted the area which he knew was turning purple even as he spoke.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“How long have we known each other?”

In over twenty years of friendship Dan had been there through every low and high. There wasn’t much he didn’t know about John’s history.

“It may take a while.”

Dan nodded. “Maybe we should go somewhere and eat.”

John shrugged. He hadn’t been very hungry of late. He could even pinpoint the day he lost interest in food. Taking a deep breath and leaning against the plastic wall, he began. “Ten years ago I met a woman.”

His best friend was about to pass comment when something in John’s eyes stopped him.

“Suzanne had just miscarried again. We weren’t exactly getting along. I guess that’s when my marriage ended, we were just too blind or stupid to do the decent thing.” He sighed. Hindsight was a wonderful thing and would probably have saved him a lot of heartache, he mused.

“I was at a fundraising dinner for a congressman I think. He lost if I remember rightly. Anyway there were a lot of people there. I was working the room, doing a little connecting of my own when I saw her. She had long legs and I couldn’t stop staring at her. It wasn’t one of my finest moments of seduction but she ended up coming to my hotel room.”

Dan watched his friend lose himself in memories and wished he had been more supportive back then but they both knew what John wanted most in life and the sacrifices that would have to made. Friends were supposed to do what was best for you, Dan failed on that score and the present divorce was evidence of that.

“She left before morning. I knew her name and that she worked in public relations. But there was nothing I could do anyway. I wasn’t able to leave Suzanne. So I didn’t even try to find out where she went. Yet here was this woman. There had been women before, and since but she was different. I couldn‘t stop thinking about her.”

“You’ve seen her again?” Dan asked, trying to lead the conversation away from getting uncomfortable.

John nodded.

“What’s stopping you now?”

“She doesn’t much like me.”

Dan allowed his amusement to bubble over into laughter. “That accounts for practically anyone who’s ever met you.”

“I’m beginning to regret telling you.”

“John, I’m sorry, but you have to admit after everything this year this is the least of your problems.” He turned to look at his best friend. “If you like this woman, I mean really like, then don’t screw it up.”

“I may have already,” he replied bitterly, tossing the ball in the air and lifting his racquet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

”Jeanine.”

He really should use the intercom, he knew, but sometimes he forgot and besides he found his assistant moved with greater urgency when he yelled.

“Yes, Sir,” she mumbled, appearing in the doorway, flushed.

He contemplated what an idiot he was going to sound and decided he’d been there before. In fact he was making quite a habit of it of late, first Dan then Catherine and now his assistant.

“I need to make an impression, a good one, but I don’t want to be predictable.” He looked everywhere but at her. It sounded even worse out loud than it had in his head.

Jeanine scrunched up her face and stared back at him bewildered. When he’d resigned suddenly as Vice President she had taken a temping job. Then he had gotten the job with the law firm and she’d agreed to resume her duties. The pay was better and at least she had been accustomed to his ways. Now she was beginning to regret the decision.

“I can’t send flowers.” He was beginning to sound like a dumb idiot.

“You forgot to call a woman?” she asked, incredulous that her job had been reduced to this.

He shook his head and wished, not for the first time, that he hadn’t asked for his assistant’s advice.

“My advice would be to try and not be yourself,” she offered before turning and walking out.

John groaned. Everyone was full of such great advice and none of it was exactly constructive - don’t be himself, don‘t screw it up and his favourite from his daughter - grovel.

Not that he wasn’t willing to try anything at this point. It had been so easy when he was younger, when women didn’t know who he was, before his “laundry was washed in public.”

All he really wanted was to make CJ like him, just how much he wanted her to like him had come as a surprise.

“Of course you could always be honest,” Jeanine announced softly from the doorway where she had been watching him for the last few minutes. “Tell her that you know you’ve been an idiot, that you want to make it up to her.”

He smiled at her. “You think that will work?”

“If anyone can make it work, you can.” What she didn’t tell him was that it wouldn’t be overnight, that if the woman didn’t fall head over heels for him she was the idiot, that even she, one of the most level headed women around couldn’t avoid the age old curse of assistants and bosses. “You got me to come work for you again.”

John laughed and shook his head. “That’s because I’m so charming.”

“Yeah. See, that there is what not to do.” Bobbing her head, she turned and returned to her office.

~~~~~~

It seemed as hard as she tried, CJ couldn’t avoid bumping into John Hoynes. It was almost like he was following her. Of course he wouldn’t be that stupid she told herself - It was just coincidence, Washington was a small place after all.

This time it was the memorial service for the Supreme Court Justice. The President had already left but the staff had remained to circulate, which was a little cold but then in DC politics was everywhere.

Leo had been caught in a corner with two ranking Senate members for the last half hour while Josh and Toby were caught up in debate. CJ had been left to her own devices and had found herself a quiet table where she could observe the rest of the room.

John appeared beside her before she knew he was there.

“Good evening, CJ,” he said in the same lithe voice that had led to her following him to his room in the first place.

“John.” She glanced around the room, noting she was on her own.

“Can we talk?” He had been trying to pluck up the courage for weeks and now he hoped she would actually let him explain himself. John propped himself up against the wall and waited.

“This isn’t. . .”

“CJ, please.” Catherine had told him to beg, he thought he’d plead a little first. “There are too many of these things for you to ignore me. At least let me explain . . . About that night. . . The book. . .” he trailed off.

“Look, John, that night was the biggest mistake of my life. I should never have gotten into that elevator with you,” CJ retorted, her voice low and controlled.

“You can’t spend the rest of your life regretting things. You have to learn from your mistakes and move on.” Hindsight was a wonderful thing as was age. Ten years ago he had made a habit of making mistakes, now he knew his limits, except it seemed where one particular woman was concerned.

“It’s that easy?”

She didn’t sound convinced but she didn’t sound hostile either. He wondered if he was on the right track.

“No. I’ve made more mistakes than even you know about. And one day. . .maybe. . . I’ll tell you all of them. The book is my way of putting it behind me and starting a new chapter.”

CJ rose to her feet until she could look him in the eye. Sometimes he sounded so sincere she had to remind herself why she hated him. His honesty unfortunately was intermittent. “So you can run again?”

John shook his head and made his way to the window. Turning away until his back was to her, he offered calmly, “I can put it behind me, but the rest of the country won’t.” CJ didn’t know him, she didn’t know how big his loss was, how much he hated what he’d put his daughter through.

“You’re gonna live on the five million advance?”

“I know how you feel about me, CJ. And nothing I say is going to change that but there are some things I want you to know. Need you to know. Eleven years ago, my life changed. Suzanne and I were trying for another child. I was a high ranking member of the Democratic Party. She was the perfect hostess with a nine-year-old daughter. We conceived but she lost the baby three months into the term. It was all she wanted and I was happy to give it to her. The miscarriage ended her dream. She was told not to try again. The marriage fell apart over night. She blamed me. I blamed me.” There was more to the story but he was becoming too close to vulnerability.

“You said the other day that there must have been other women. There were - every event - for six months. Then the party lost the election and the DNC asked me to run in four years. I cleaned up, and Suzanne and I made an effort, until Helen Baldwin.” He had become good at lying, after all he had been living a charade for years.

“Why are you telling me this? Why do you think I care now?” CJ asked, brushing hair from her face and trying to study his face. She was suddenly nervous. In the few minutes they had been talking she had seen more honesty in his eyes than she had witnessed from Ben in all the years she had known him.

“Because if I am ever going to put things right, I need to start making amends.”

“You and I are nothing to each other. You don’t owe me explanations.”

John turned away and swallowed hard. His palms had suddenly become sweaty and he knew what he said next was going to characterize their relationship - if any - for the future. “Friends should be honest with each other. Can’t we at least be friends?”

“Put the past behind us?” CJ asked, her voice laced with scepticism.

“What is it they say? Keep your friends close but your enemies even closer?” He grinned at her for the first time all evening.

“In that case I ought to keep you really close,” she said, catching Toby’s eye and beginning to move away. “I need to go.”

“Yeah.” He turned back to the window.

“Bye John.”

John allowed himself a small smile. Her voice had been light, her parting more friendly than hostile. It was progress.

“Your mystery woman is CJ Cregg?” Dan asked, his voice rising as he watched the tall blonde disappear into the crowd.

“Yeah,” John offered cautiously.

“Oh my God. She’s like way out of your league, Buddy.”

“Remind me again why we’re friends.”

“So did you fix it?”

John sighed. “Not exactly. But we’ve moved on from her hating me to disliking me now, at least I think so. Things are looking up. Give me a year and I might get her to like me.”

Dan shook his head, a wry grin crossing his face. John Hoynes had a habit of getting what he wanted and if the look on his face was anything to go by he wanted CJ. Recently things hadn’t gone that well but it had to be time for things to improve. He could only hope CJ was the start of a lucky streak.

The End

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