The next thing she was aware of were quiet voices.

"She fell asleep around eleven..."

"Doesn't she have to work?"

"I took care of it already."

CJ moved a little and felt a gentle hand resting on her head. "John..." she moaned.

“There’s porridge for breakfast,” he smirked, rubbing her head gently as he had been since he awoke.

“What time is it?” she asked, patting her hair flat.

John’s grin grew. “After eight. Tales of a loveless Texan too boring for you?”

"After eight?" she said, sitting up too quickly. "I should be in my office right now..."

"I had Janine tell Leo you'd be out today."

"How dare you?" she asked, her jaw slack.

"You need your sleep," he said simply. "Lie down."

"Don't tell me what to do."

He sighed and looked towards his mother. “See, I told you.”

Marcia rolled her eyes.

“Good morning, Marcia,” CJ stammered.

“Morning dear. You look like you could do with a shower and a change of clothes.”

“Yeah,” CJ dead panned, glancing down at the crumpled suit.

“Janine hung your suit behind the door in the bathroom and your washbag is on the side.”

"Thank you," CJ said stiffly. "And there's no way in hell I'm eating grey oatmeal for breakfast -- I'll get some biscotti with my Starbucks on the way in."

"I said I told Leo..."

"I heard you," she muttered, leaning down to brush a kiss onto his forehead before heading for the bathroom. "I'm just not listening," she tossed casually over her shoulder as she disappeared.

“I think you’ve met your match in that one, John,” Marcia grinned. “Better be nice to her or she won’t bring you dinner.”

John growled something inaudible before a small smile tweaked at his lips. She’d kissed him.

He stabbed the porridge with his spoon, glancing continuously at the bathroom door. He could only imagine what she was doing in there and it wasn’t helping his blood pressure.

When CJ finally emerged, she was dressed and clipping her hair on top of her head.

“Feeling better?”

“Much,” CJ grinned. “I need to go.” She watched as his face fell. “I’ll be back around four thirty. How does Chinese sound for dinner?”

"It sounds good," John replied with a smile. "Don't forget the egg drop soup."

"I won't," CJ laughed. "See you later," she said, leaning down to kiss him lightly on the lips before pulling away abruptly and bustling off.

“I’m grinding her down,” John said smugly, grabbing his mother’s paper and disappearing behind it.

******

John looked at the clock again. It was five thirty and she still hadn’t arrived. He folded his arms and glanced towards the door. He couldn’t believe she would let him down and there had been nothing on the news.

Ten minutes later, she came bursting through the door, carrier bag in one hand and suit carrier in the other.

"Sorry I'm late," she said, hanging her suit bag up on the back of the door and dropping the bag on the floor. "Carol's bringing dinner by a little later."

"What are you doing?" Marcia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I had a long talk with a friend, and I'll be staying here until he's released," CJ said, moving to sit by the bed. "Hey," she greeted, lifting his hand to her lips.

“Hello.”

“My cue to leave,” Marcia acknowledged, clearing her throat and picking up her belongings. She shrugged at the lack of response and left.

“Josh did something stupid and I had to sort it, otherwise I would . . .,” she trailed off at his grin. “What?”

“How did you swing this with the President?”

“I didn’t. But there’s someone he can’t say no to.”

He chuckled. "Behind every great man, there's a greater woman."

"You'd better believe it," CJ said. "And Abbey thinks I should be that woman for you, and the way she presented it, I'm inclined to agree."

"Go figure Abbey Bartlet was the one to talk you into it..." he muttered, shaking his head.

"I'm not declaring undying love and jumping off a cliff," she said firmly. "And I'm not going to marry you or have your baby."

“I can live with that. . .for now,” he said, glancing up at the television.

“And I have to have an agent, again,” she groaned.

He turned abruptly to look at her. “Are you okay with that? I mean. . . Can you handle that?”

"As long as my agent is a woman this time," CJ said, blushing. "I don't want the Vice President committing a murder because my agent found me attractive."

"Janine thinks you're the hottest thing since sliced bread," John pointed out.

"She's totally into Carol now," CJ contradicted, brushing his hair back out of his face. "No sex," she pointed out.

"Huh?"

"For us. No sex."

"Obviously," he muttered. "But having you showering over there... isn't exactly helping me much."

She chuckled. "When you're cleared, the first thing I'm going to do for you is a striptease and dinner."

He swallowed hard. “This isn’t helping my blood pressure.”

“Then we’d better get to today’s briefing,” she laughed, sitting down and crossing her legs.

She began to go over the day's events with him, stopping when she heard voices in the hallway. "Did you bring me Lemon Pepper shrimp?" Hogan whined.

"You know they don't have it at the place," Carol scolded. "I got you some broccoli beef."

"HEY!" Hogan shrieked, running over and throwing her arms around her aunt. "Hi, John," she said, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"We come bearing dinner," Carol chuckled, holding up a couple of plastic bags.

“Thanks,” CJ sighed, dropping her notes on the table and motioning for Hogan to sit. “Don’t you have plans?” CJ asked Carol, who was still grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“Yeah, with Janine. Good night, Sir, CJ, Hogan.” She rushed for the door and disappeared.

“Hope you’re okay with chopsticks?”

"Where's my soup?" John grumped.

Hogan pulled out a round plastic bowl and lid. "Right here," she said. "Wow, that looks good..."

"Keep your fingers in your food," CJ muttered a few minutes later when both John and Hogan were trying to steal her lo mein.

“I haven’t eaten all day,” John whined.

“And I’m pregnant.”

CJ rolled her eyes. “And I’m the only one working here.”

Hogan muttered something under her breath and poked her aunt with her chopsticks. "When I'm done eating, I'm gonna go back to my room," she said. "They sent my homework and I'm stuck in the middle of trying to figure out the fine-tunings of the evolutionary theory."

"Well, take some food and go do your homework," CJ instructed through a mouthful of food. She slurped the tail of a noodle into her mouth and laid aside her chopsticks to close up a couple of the boxes. "Go on."

"You just wanna get kissy," Hogan accused with a grin, satisfied when CJ turned bright red.

Once the door had closed, CJ turned her attention back to John. “I swear that child will be the death of me.” She sighed, “I’m sending her to my parents this weekend.”

“Is that wise?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have much choice. I can’t take care of you and her. And besides Napa will give her a chance to relax and me, time to find a bigger apartment.”

"What about school?" he asked.

"There are schools in Napa," CJ muttered. "Mom and dad are taking care of it. Phillip is pissed as hell with me, but fuck him anyway -- it's not like he's being Mr. Cooperative." She stabbed her rice with the chopsticks visciously. "But anyway -- how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling better now," he replied with a grin.

"Good. I brought a couple of books, if you want me to read to you?"

“Naughty books?” he asked with a gleam in his eye.

CJ shook her head. “If you think I’m reading you smut, you’ve got another think coming.”

“I’d rather be indulging,” he smirked.

"Very funny," she mumbled, her face flushing. "I brought Lewis Carroll and Tolkein -- but I can always go get something else."

"I suppose some A. N. Roquelaire would be too much?"

CJ choked. "I said I'm not reading you smut!"

"It's not smut, it's erotic porn."

"Oh, whatever," she said dismissively. "Do you enjoy flustering me?"

"Always."

CJ cleared her throat and picked up a book. After a second she changed her mind and unbuttoned her blouse.

John’s eyes widened and he involuntarily licked his lips. “CJ?”

Her shirt ended up on the floor and she perched on the edge of the bed. “Are you going to move over or what?”

He shifted over to give her room, and he muttered, "You really get comfortable when you want to..."

"John, I still have a camisole on," she chuckled. "It's not like I'm running around in my bra."

"You say potato," he replied, licking his lips as she climbed into bed with him.

“What’s a matter, things getting a little warm for you?” she teased, opening the cover of the book and turning to the first page.

“Actually I’m rather cold. Maybe you could lose another layer or two?”

"Your blood pressure," she reminded him with a smug smile. "We'll lose layers when you're feeling better."

He grumbled, but leaned back to listen to her reading some nonsensical poetry. He dozed off and didn't wake up until she was climbing back into bed with him. "Hmm..." he moaned, opening one eye.

"Shh..." she whispered, kissing his lips lightly. "Go back to sleep. I'll be right here all night long."

“Okay,” he mumbled, his arm reaching across and draping itself over her stomach. “Night.”

CJ snuggled down beneath the covers and turned to face him.

She smiled and mentally reminded herself to either kiss Abbey or hit her. She closed her eyes and dreamed all night about being with him.

When she woke up the next morning, his hold on her had tightened, and their fingers were threaded together.

“Morning,” a cheery voice said from behind her.

CJ rolled onto her back and waved a hand. “Marcia.”

“Yup. I brought breakfast, but maybe I should wait outside,” she offered nervously.

“It’s fine,” CJ mumbled, extracting her hand and climbing out of bed. “I need a shower.”

“Hey, you’re forgetting something,” John called from behind her. “ME.”

"I don't do bedbaths," CJ reminded him, going into the bathroom.

Marcia waited a minute before saying, "I hope I didn't..."

"No, I think she's just realizing what she's getting herself into -- what'd you bring me?"

"Bagel and cream cheese. What happened with you two last night?" Marcia asked.

"Nothing happened."

She raised her eyebrows.

“Mom! She read to me and we fell asleep. I didn’t even get to kiss her goodnight,” he grumbled.

“You do realize that you’re allowed to walk around today. So wouldn’t now be a good time to go to the bathroom,” Marcia said with a smile.

“But CJ’s. . .,” he trailed off.

"You two are denser than the average bear," Marcia muttered.

"I got it," he muttered. "Wanna help me?"

"Out of bed, yes."

Marcia stood between his legs as he swung first one than the other on the floor. Gently she eased him to stand.

“I can do the rest,” he acknowledged quietly, shuffling across the room and knocking lightly on the door. Not waiting for a response he pushed it open.

He was rewarded with a shriek. "Get out!" CJ yelped from behind the shower curtain. Her head appeared around the edge, water trickling down her face, her soaked hair plastered to her cheeks. "John, what are you..."

"I needed to pee," he replied, making himself as comfortable as he could while holding an IV pole and doing his business.

CJ groaned and disappeared behind the curtain. She hummed nervously as she longed for him to hurry up.

“So, I was thinking,” he commented. “Maybe tonight we could go for a walk up and down the corridor.

“You don’t think the Service are going to have a head fit?” CJ asked dryly.

“No more than the President will when he finds out you’re sleeping in my bed,” he replied, shuffling towards the curtain.

He lifted one of the edges and peered in at her. She made a noise in the back of her throat and tried to cover herself with her hands and her washcloth.

"Don't cover up on my account," he said with a smirk.

"Go back to bed," she said, voice shaky.

“I’d join you if there wasn’t the chance my stitches would pop.”

“Which is why you shouldn’t be in here,” she replied, waving her hand around, forgetting her nakedness.

John growled.

She blushed and tried to cover up again. "John, please..."

"I can't wait till I can do whatever I want to you," he grumbled, watching her.

"Oh yeah, like that's gonna happen," CJ retorted sharply.

"I've dreamed of all the different ways to..."

"John, please go," CJ begged, her flush spreading down her body.

“I’m going. But first I want you to know, we’re going to do this right,” he whispered, smiling at her before stepping back. He left without a backward glance.

“Everything alright?” Marcia asked.

“Yeah, but you might want to give us a few minutes.”

"Your blood pressure..." Marcia began, but then threw her hands up in the air. "Oh, forget it. Send someone after me when you're done." She left, muttering under her breath.

John chuckled and laid back down on the bed, waiting for CJ to come out of the bathroom.

When she did come out, she had a towel tied wrapped tightly around her body. She went to her bags and got some clean clothes, then disappeared into the bathroom again. When she came back out, she was wearing a plain black t-shirt and faded blue jeans.

“You wearing that to work?” John asked, grinning, his eyes appraising the way the jeans hugged her hips.

“Maybe,” she offered coyly, pulling her cell from her purse.

“You can’t use that in here,” he grumbled.

CJ raised her eyebrows at him. “Do you want me to stay or not?”

"Yes..."

"Then let me make my call." She hit a number on the speed dial. "Hey, Margaret - tell Leo I'm not feeling very well and I'll be staying here today in case I feel worse. Yes. Thanks." She hung up and turned to smile at John. "Wasn't that simple?"

“So, are you coming back to bed?” he asked hopefully.

CJ leaned in and kissed him hard on the lips before pulling back. “I’m going to check on Hogan.”

He made a noise in the back of his throat.

"I'll be back soon," she promised, squeezing his hand and smiling. "So stop pouting."

"I'm not pouting."

"You are."

“Can’t we at least have breakfast first?”

“I’ll bring Hogan back, I promise.” CJ released his hand. “I need to check on flights and stuff later. And call some realtors.”

“So I’m not going to see much of you?” he grumbled.

“I think you’ve seen enough of me already,” CJ smirked, blowing him a kiss and leaving.

He muttered under his breath until Marcia came back in. "What's the matter?" she asked, sitting down with him.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

***

When CJ came back, she had Hogan in tow. "Hi, John," Hogan said cheerfully, plopping down in a chair next to the bed. "How're you feeling today?"

"Like I need a spongebath," John said, looking at CJ intently.

“Now that’s an image I didn’t need,” Hogan groaned, grabbing CJ’s breakfast and eating it.

“I’ll call a nurse, shall I? They can bath you while I make my calls.”

“I’d rather you did it,” he grinned, reaching for her hand.

“I’ll do it,” Marcia said, “I’ve done it before.”

CJ walked in to the bathroom laughing at the expression of dismay on John’s face.

"Aunt CJ, wait for me," Hogan cried, following CJ into the bathroom. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" CJ asked, reaching for her cell phone.

"Not only are you leading him on, but you're having so much fun doing it. It's not nice," Hogan scolded.

"Oh please," CJ scoffed.

“He really likes you and you’re playing with him, it’s like a game to you,” she cried. “He got shot trying to protect me, just remember that.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” CJ snapped. “And I don’t need a lecture from you.”

“Oh really? Well it’s time you faced facts. You’ve either got the hots for him, in which case giving him a bath should be no problem, or you’re . . .,” she trailed off.

“I’m what?”

"You're playing with him out of obligation," Hogan spat.

"I am not!" CJ protested sharply.

"Then get out there and give him a bath!"

"NO!"

Hogan crossed her arms. "Then what the hell is your problem?"

"God, you sound like Abbey..."

"The First Lady? What, you want me to get her in here to lecture you, too?" Hogan challenged. "Because I will."

“For God’s sake!” CJ threw her arms in the air. “Has it occurred to anyone that maybe I’m a little overwhelmed by all this?” CJ yelled. “One minute we’re friends, the next I’m his hospital visitor and now, I don’t know.”

“What do you want?” Hogan asked, glancing over CJ’s shoulder.

“To know that these feelings I have won’t disappear when he gets better,” she sighed.

"And that's preventing you from treating him with the dignity he deserves as a human being?" Hogan asked quietly.

"No." CJ sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I just... I... damn it, I wish I knew what I was thinking right now."

"You ought to go out there and give him a bath," Hogan advised. "Surprise him out of his element. You might find that your feelings get better the more sacrifices you make for them."

“Or you could just tell me how you feel,” John said, coming up behind her. “Hogan, why don’t you take my mother and an agent and go and book your flight? Put it on my credit card. And you might want to get CJ some more coffee.” He smiled at her as she disappeared. “Does it frighten you that much that you could love me?”

"Can we not do this in here?" CJ asked, her voice very quiet.

"Where would you like to talk about it?" he asked sarcastically. "The Four Seasons, perhaps?"

"I don't want to talk about my innermost feelings in a bathroom!" she exclaimed.

He let out an exaggerated breath. “Fine.” He turned and walked back into the bedroom and reached for the buzzer.

“What are you doing?” she asked, biting down on her bottom lip nervously.

“I’m getting a nurse to bath me, then I’m getting dressed. After which you and I, and a very pissed off detail are going for a walk,” he stated, pressing the buzzer again.

"No," CJ protested. "I can give you a bath..."

"It's too late for that," he said. "You had your chance and you blew it."

"Well, fuck you, too," she said, her heart beginning to break with those four words. She was convinced that he was going to call it all off because of her stupidity.

“I’m not sure. . .,” he started but she cut him off.

“Please don’t say it,” she sighed, beginning to stuff things into her bag.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly, shuffling towards her and resting his hand on her arm.

“Leaving,” she snapped, turning to look at him.

His lips found hers and he pressed gently.

"John..." she whispered against his lips. "You're making this... so hard," she mumbled around another kiss.

"You're not supposed to want to leave," he said softly.

“I don’t, that’s what so hard. I took a sick day, I never do that. I woke up in your bed, that’s a press nightmare. And now I standing in your room kissing you.”

“Not so much kissing right now,” he grumbled, tangling his hand in her hair and kissing her again. He deepened the kiss as her arms wrapped around his waist.

“Mm,” CJ mumbled pulling back. “Do you still want that bath?”

"Yes, please..."

A nurse came in. "You buzzed, Mr. Vice President?"

"Yeah," John said. "We need the stuff for a spongebath."

"Do you want a nurse to..?"

"NO," CJ objected loudly. "I mean... I can do it."

The nurse smiled and nodded. “No problem. Give me a few minutes.”

She was back in less than two, a bowl of hot water in her arms and a towel over her shoulder. “If you need anything, just buzz.” She looked on longingly, secretly damning the fact she was missing out on an opportunity of a lifetime.

"Lie down," CJ said quietly. "I may be good in bed, but I'm not the greatest when it actually comes to things like this..."

"Chill out," he instructed with a saucy grin as he climbed back into bed. "You want me to take off my clothes?"

She blushed. "Yes please."

“You didn’t need to say that with quite as much relish,” he teased, removing his pyjamas and leaving his boxers on.

“Will you behave?” she asked, squeezing the sponge and washing around his wound.

"Ow," he hissed.

"Sorry..." she murmured softly.

"It's hot," he whined.

"I could find some ice," she smarted back.

“We could kill time while it cools down?”

“Arms up,” she ordered, splashing hot soapy water under his arms. “Like that’s gonna happen. She continued to soap his upper body before towelling him off. CJ moved the bowl down the bed to wash his thighs and stopped. Her eyes fixed on his obvious bulge.

"John, you know we can't..." she began, her mouth dry as she managed to find enough coordination to begin washing his thighs.

"I know, I know, but try telling that to my body. It seems to think I'm pretty well healed."

"Well, you aren't," CJ said, finishing his thighs quickly. "Sit up so I can get your back, sweetheart." She stopped suddenly, realizing what she had just said.

“So where do you want to walk too?” John asked, sensing her discomfort and wanting her to continue.

“Um, we can’t go far,” CJ stammered, gently rubbing his back. “Maybe the day room or the cafeteria?”

“The day room sounds secure, and the detail can stay outside,” he nodded and stroked the side of her hip.

"You're just tired of being cooped up in here," she accused, biting her lip.

"Something like that. And I'm bored shitless."

She laughed, and he thought it was the most beautiful sound he'd heard all day. "Maybe we can get someone to bring in some ice cream..." he suggested with a grin.

“At like ten in the morning?” CJ chided. “You’ll be wanting Jello next.” She finished bathing him and disappeared into the bathroom. “I can’t wash your hair in case I get the stitches wet but I can comb it.” She reappeared with a comb.

“My razor’s somewhere around. You must me fed up of the stubble by now.”

"I think it's kind of cute, actually," she admitted. "Makes you look kind of Harrison Ford scruffyish."

"Oh really?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll probably shave you tomorrow before I go to work -- or I'll let your mom do it..."

"Whoever called my mother should be shot."

“She’s just concerned is all. You scared all of us,” CJ admitted.

“Sit down.”

“I need to get your clothes.”

“Please,” he begged, tugging her hand. “I need to explain something to you.”

CJ sighed and perched on the edge of the bed, clinging to his hand.

"Explain away," she said, a little hesitant to hear what he had to say.

He sighed and squeezed her hand.

“You don’t have any obligation to me. When I saw the gun, my first thought wasn’t that she was your niece but that she was pregnant. I didn’t lunge because of you.” He paused and rubbed her knuckles. “I want you here, because you want to be here, not out of obligation, understand?”

"I'm grateful for what you did for Hogan, but that isn't why I'm here."

"You're here because of something Abbey told you -- you told me that last night."

"Yeah, she kicked me in the head with one of her stilettos and said that if I didn't face up to the fact that I love you, I'd lose you to some pretty-faced airhead." CJ sighed. "But I don't exactly love you -- I could love you, eventually, but right now... I like you. A lot."

“Really?” he asked grinning. “A lot? A little lot? Or a big lot?”

“Don’t push it okay?” CJ mock grumbled. “Now let’s get you dressed and we can go for that walk.”

“It isn’t exactly dinner and a movie, but I think I can charm you,” he dead panned.

"You wanna do dinner and a movie?" she asked with a grin. "I think I can pull something off..."

"None of those chick flicks," he muttered, getting up onto his feet and wincing.

"I look like a hobo," he muttered.

"A lovably handsome, scruffy, adorable hobo," she corrected. "You sure you're up for this?"

"Try to stop me."

“I’ll put your slippers on and off we go. We’ll work to the day room and then later, if you’re up to it we can explore the rest of the hospital.”

Why?" John shot back. "So I can see all of the other sick people, and so some old crone who didn't vote for us can hit me with something?"

"You'd better be joking," she chuckled, following him out into the hallway.

"I am, I am..." he assured her. "Hold my hand?"

CJ entwined her fingers with his. “On a work note. We will probably get a photo of you in a couple of days up and about. Show the country you’re going to be okay. . .,” she trailed off. Opening the door, she ushered him into the corridor. “Nothing major, and we can release it through your office.”

He grinned at her. "Will you be in it?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea," CJ hedged.

"I do."

"My face on Hard Copy is one of those things I wish I could avoid," CJ sighed.

“Then will you have a photo done for me?” he asked hopefully as the agents fell into formation. “I can put it up somewhere in the Observatory.”

CJ groaned.

“For me. Please.”

“You’re impossible, Sir,” CJ whined.

He glanced at her and she motioned with her head to the group of patients gathered in the corridor.

“How do you feel?” CJ asked, adjusting his arm so that she could take some of the weight.

"Like a thousand bucks," he quipped. "A million's too much to try for."

"Yeah," she agreed softly. "You want to go back?"

"I'm okay," he assured her.

"If you get tired, I'll call for a wheelchair..."

"You worry as much as my mother."

“And you’re a dreadful patient,” she quipped. “No far to the day room and we can sit for a while.”

“And talk?”

“Yeah.” She glanced around at the agents and back to John’s hand on her arm. “Wonder where your mother’s gone.”

"She took Hogan back to her room to make plane reservations," John reminded her.

"Oh yeah..."

"Can we stop a minute?" he asked.

"Yeah," she agreed, warning the agents with a Look to keep their distance.

John rested a minute, then kissed CJ full on the lips, tenderly, passionately.

"What did you do that for?" she moaned quietly when they broke for air.

“Because.”

“There are people here,” CJ said, motioning with her arm. “You can’t do that.”

“I just did,” he offered smugly.

CJ covered her face with her hand and groaned. “We need to set some ground rules if this is going to work. Firstly no kissing in public.”

"No kissing?" he said with a pout.

"No kissing in public," she corrected, looking at him, trying to gauge what he was going to do next -- he kept surprising her, and she was worried.

She let out a strangled groan on a moan when he grabbed her and kissed her again. "No doing that?" he teased.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Okay, but what about this?" he asked, his lips lightly grazing hers.

"You're driving me crazy," she moaned in despair. What he was really doing was overcoming her defenses, storming the walls, doing his damndest to make her give up her grasp of control.

“So I’ll stop,” he offered, gently tugging her arm and pulling her into the day room. Once inside he waved off his agents. “Shut up.”

CJ opened her mouth to protest but his lips were pressing against hers.

She moaned and would have put her arms around his neck except she remembered at the last possible moment about his wounds.

She pulled back, looking dazed. "John..."

"What?" he asked, kissing her again. She lost herself in the sensations his kiss evoked, and nearly lost her grip on her self.

She pulled back again, and murmured, "We need to talk about this..."

"Talk about killing the mood," he muttered.

“I’m not going to rush into anything,” she said, stepping away. “Whatever my feelings are for you I want to explore them slowly.”

“Okay. But let’s get one thing straight. I love you and I’m not letting you talk yourself outta us,” he stated with conviction.

“You are feeling better.”

"Enough so to assert my wishes," he replied. "So let's talk about us."

"I'm finding a bigger apartment," she said. "Or I'm going to try to."

"Move into the Observatory with me. Hogan's welcome, too, and the baby."

"That's moving too fast right there," CJ moaned, slumping into a chair.

“Why?”

CJ rolled her eyes and threw her hands into the air. “Okay, where to start. You’re the Vice President, living in sin isn’t exactly a vote winner. Um, we’ve only been dating a few days. Hogan is my responsibility. My father would throw a fit, and then my mother would follow suit, um, it would compromise my position…,” she trailed off at his satisfied smirk. “What?”

“We’re dating?”

"Strictly speaking, yes..." she sighed. "Would you stop getting that goofy look on your face like you wanna taste every inch of me every time I make a concession to what we classify our very complicated relationship?"

"That was a mouthful."

"Yeah it was," she acknowledged, trying not to smile. "John, really..."

“So, we can’t kiss in public,” he sighed. Anything else?”

“Yeah, I can’t stay over.”

“CJ! I’m not going to make love to you then have you creep out the door,” he grumbled.

Her face flushed. "Who said anything about..." she choked out.

"Well, it's assumed."

"You can come to my place," she murmured.

"Claudia, I am not going to make love to you then creep out the door like a thief in the night."

"But you would be a thief in the night, out to steal my reputation," CJ moaned.

"And your heart."

“John!” She turned away from him. “Don’t say things like that, okay?”

“Another rule,” he stated belligerently.

“I’m sure there will be many more,” CJ offered. “Another thing, you can’t phone me on my cell. Always on the office line or at home.”

"I have a few rules of my own," he replied stubbornly.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the Vice President and as such, you aren't the one making the rules because you have to do what I say."

“With all due respect, I really don’t on this,” CJ said stubbornly. “I can just walk away now.”

“But you won’t,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist but pulling back suddenly. “Damn, I’m caught up in the damned IV.”

CJ turned around and tried to disentangle him. Her hand brushed his chest as she adjusted the line and she looked up into his eyes.

She bit her lip and glanced away, her fingers working to unravel the knot.

"Okay, y'know, if you get to make all the rules about our relationship, where does that leave me?" he asked, grunting and moaning as she accidentally yanked. "Shit, leave the needle in please!"

“Keep still,” CJ mumbled, finally loosening the knot. “Where does that leave you?”

“Yeah.”

“As Vice President.”

His lips pursed. "Very funny."

"Yes, I am delightfully witty and charming -- also extremely edible according to the Post..."

"I'd like to find out about that last one," John retorted.

CJ sighed. "Okay, look... you have to stop saying things like that."

"Why?" he asked guilessly.

She sighed, then inhaled sharply. "John, you're bleeding..."

He glanced down at the small bloodspot appearing on his shirt. "It's from the IV needle being moved around," he said dismissively.

“I’ll get a nurse,” CJ sighed, moving to step around him.

His hand shot out and he grabbed her arm. “If you really can’t do this, if dating me is going to be too hard then leave now,” he said softly. “I’ll stop pursuing you.” He released her arm.

"I don't want you to stop pursuing me," CJ said, her entire body radiating her nervousness. "I just want you to ease up a little and stop saying sappy things that make me feel stupid."

"Why do they make you feel stupid?" he asked. "I'd've thought that they would make you feel loved..."

"Let me get a nurse..."

"It's only a little bit of blood," he said, rolling his eyes.

"It's enough to make me feel sick," CJ sighed.

“You don’t like blood? He asked surprised.

She shook her head and turned green. The last thing she remembered was the look of concern in his eyes and him yelling for help.

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was John's concerned face looming over hers. "CJ?" he said softly. "Claudia..."

"I don't feel so well," she moaned, closing her eyes again.

"It's okay…," he assured her. "The blood's gone, honey..."

"Don't call me that."

“It’s a southern thing,” he shrugged, taking her hand. “You passed out. I had an agent carry you back.”

“I’m going to be sick, or pass out,” she mumbled, covering her eyes with her arm. “Where am I?”

“In my bed,” he chuckled.

She groaned and closed her eyes. "Why me?" she moaned.

"Just relax..."

"I'll relax after I throw up."

“Want me to get someone to help you?”

“Thanks, I’ll manage,” she mumbled weakly, slowly sitting up then dashing for the bathroom.

John watched her go, wondering is he should help her, or just stay out of the way. He sighed and glanced at the agent by the door. The guy was smirking, he could tell. “Well what would you do?” John asked.

“I’m sorry, Sir?”

“I said, what would you do?”

The agent shrugged. "She's certainly cut from different cloth from my wife, sir, so I wouldn't be able to say."

"You're a lot of help," John muttered, following her into the bathroom.

She was hovering over the toilet, shaking, sobs racking her body as she gagged.

“CJ,” he tried quietly, cursing his injuries. “Claudia, honey.” When she still didn’t respond he touched her shoulder. “I’m going to have someone take you home.”

Her head shot up and she looked at him desperately. “Hold me?”

He nodded and gently wrapped his arms around her, careful not to disturb the IV needle and start her hysteria anew. "Shh..." he whispered, kissing her neck.

"Ever since... Josh and... I can't..." she choked out, clinging to him. "Hate hospitals... blood..."

"It's okay," he assured her gently. "You feeling any better?"

"I don't want to throw up," she mumbled, swiping at her eyes furiously.

"Okay, then let's go lie down and you can cry," he whispered against her cheek. "And I'll hold you..."

"Why... why do you love me?" she whimpered. "I'm nothing special."

“To me you are,” he soothed, helping her up and wishing he’d accepted another pain pill when it was offered. “And I never said I loved you.”

CJ’s eyes widened.

“I thought if I did you’d scream at me and run for the door,” he smiled. “Tim, you can wait outside.”

“Very good, Sir.”

"But you did say it," she protested weakly as he led her to the bed.

"No, I said I could love you...."

"But you used the 'l' word," she said, her forehead scrunching. "I don't... I..."

"What would you do if I did say I loved you?" he asked, rewarded with a panic-stricken look from her. "Okay, I won't say that."

He lowered himself onto the bed with a groan.

“John?” CJ asked, suddenly concerned. “Are you alright?”

He waved her off with a hand. “I may have overdone it for my first day.” He grinned and pulled her head down on to his chest. “What say we both take a nap? Mom and Hogan are probably maxing out my credit card and the agents know not to disturb us.”

"Okay," she agreed softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He reached over to wipe away the tearstreaks running down her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. "You sure you feel okay?"

"Nothing a nap won't cure," he replied wearily. "That and a couple of pills."

"I'm sorry I'm ruining your recovery," she whispered, cuddling up beside him.

"You're not ruining anything," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "Go to sleep..."

She settled in and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew, he was shifting beside her

and was talking to someone in hushed tones. "She saw the blood and freaked out completely."

"Yeah... I can imagine," Jed Bartlet said in equally hushed tones.

"I'm awake," CJ muttered.

“Hello Claudia Jean,” Jed mumbled. “How you doing?”

CJ shifted until she could sit up. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

“Nothing to apologize for. Are you taking good care of John?” Jed asked, somewhat bemused by John’s hand wrapped tightly across her shoulders.

“He’s not the easiest of patients,” she commented dryly, glancing at John and smiling.

“And she’s bossy,” John grumbled.

"That's because I know best," CJ teased with a smug smile. "How're things at work, sir?"

"Nothing we can't handle -- in fact, that's why I was here," Jed said. "CJ, Leo and I have discussed it, and we think you deserve a couple of weeks of vacation."

“A week would be great,” CJ admitted weakly, “but not two weeks.” She grinned coyly. “I may want some time off later in the year and definitely early next year.”

John hands stopped it’s gently stroking and he looked at her intently.

“I’d rather take a week, Sir,” CJ said firmly.

"All right -- a week, starting tomorrow," Jed said, nodding. "Though I might be lead to wonder why you would need time off at the other times..."

"My niece is having a baby," CJ said. "And I want to be there with her."

John began stroking her hands again, his almost-smile creeping around the edges of his eyes.

“And after the election I might take a vacation with a friend. Slip on a swimsuit and get some sun,” she grinned, watching both men swallow. “Right now I have my hands full with playing nurse maid.”

"You're a good nursemaid when you aren't urping," John said with a grin.

"Oh, thanks," she muttered sarcastically, blushing.

"I just came by to see how you're both doing, and I probably need to get back to work -- Korea might have more plutonium," Jed said, excusing himself from the room without saying goodbye.

CJ smiled at John. "I like the idea of a week with you," she whispered.

“You know that means spending time at the Observatory. I’ll be released in a few days.” he groaned. “Which means we need rid of my mother by then.”

CJ laughed and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Oh really?" she purred as she pulled away. "What did you have in mind exactly...?"

He flushed. "Uh... well, I won't be able to... uh... for a while..."

She grinned at him. "You could have fooled me," she murmured.

He silenced her by pulling her face towards his and kissing her passionately. His hands wandered down her back until he could pull her closer, both oblivious of his wounds.

“CJ,” he moaned, as he released her. “I can’t. . .”

"Shh..." she whispered. "I know. Besides, if you have your way, we'll have plenty of time for sex later." She smirked at him. "I told you I'd relax."

"Yeah and I had no idea..."

"I have to keep people on their toes," she murmured, snuggling against him again. "I wonder how your mom and Hogan are getting along."

“Who knows? But the kid’s nursery is going to look like the inside of FAO Schwarz. You’ll have to move in with me eventually because no apartment will be big enough,” he muttered, resting his chin on her head.

“We’d have to get married first,” she whispered, not really sure if she was teasing or acknowledging the future

"Yeah," he agreed. "And that's not even counting..." He stopped.

"Not even counting what?" CJ asked, turning to look at him.

"If we get married and have one of our own."

She blinked in shock, then laughed. "I've been there, and it hurts like hell -- I thought someone was tearing my guts out."

“That’s not an image I want to dwell on,” John groaned. “So I’m guessing we’d have to look into adoption.”

“Running before you walk,” CJ mumbled.

“You brought up marriage.”

“I was teasing.”

“I wasn’t.”

“What?”

“We’ll have to be more discreet then.”

"Discretion is highly overrated," she muttered, but then smiled. "Okay, that didn't sound like me, did it?"

"Not really, no, but I'm beginning to learn that you twist whatever you need to get what you want or to protect yourself," he said, reaching over to cup her cheek in the palm of his hand.

A knock at the door disturbed them.

“Come,” John called, his hand remaining where it was.

“Dinner, Sir,” a nurse announced.

John took one look at the offerings and scrunched up his face. “What I wouldn’t do for a nice piece of steak.”

CJ leaned in against his ear and whispered something.

"Oh, all right," he grumbled grudgingly.

"Relax a little," CJ murmured, kissing him on the cheek. "Steak isn't everything."

"You're not the one eating pig slop," he retorted.

"If there's nothing else..." the nurse said.

"Yeah, can you get me a doctor?" John asked. "I want to know when I can have sex."

CJ's face flamed bright red in a matter of a split second. “He really doesn’t,” she stammered.

“Okay.” The nurse rolled her eyes and left.

CJ’s hand collided with his thigh.

“Hey,” John protested. “I just thought it might be useful information.”

"Useful for you," CJ pointed out. "I have ways of satisfying myself if necessary."

"Can I watch?" he teased with an eager grin.

"No." Her gaze lowered and shifted away from him as her cheeks pinkened.

“Spoil sport.” He stabbed his lunch with his fork. “Of course I have ways of satisfying myself.”

“Yes, Sir,” CJ placated, climbing off the bed. “I’m going to check on Hogan, grab a sandwich and check in on work. Back in an hour.”

He nodded and poked some unidentifiable piece of meat with his fork. "Bring me something to eat, will you?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Oh, all right," she sighed. "I'll be back."

***

He was asleep when she came back, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead gently. "Poor baby," she murmured softly.

John mumbled in his sleep and turned over to face her.

CJ slipped quietly into the chair and began to write a list. Hogan was to be discharged the following day and she needed Carol to pack her things, that way they could go straight to the airport.

“CJ?” he whispered a few seconds later.

“Yeah.”

“What time is it?” He struggled to sit up and flailed.

“After three. Your mom is on her way up,” CJ whispered, her hand brushing his lightly.

He nodded. "I don't feel very good."

"Just relax..." she murmured, lifting his hand to her lips. "You shouldn't take your recovery lightly."

"He said four weeks," John muttered in disgust.

"Hmm?"

"The doctor. Sex. Four weeks."

CJ laughed, she couldn’t help it. “That’s good. Anyone in mind?”

He made a strange noise in the back of his throat.

“Your mom has organized a nurse for when you get home,” CJ said, through her laughter. “She has to return to Austin this weekend.”

“Thank God,” he sighed.

"You know, I like your mom," CJ commented, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye stealthily. "I didn't at first, but she's really not bad once you get to know her... Maybe she could come visit a little more often."

"NO!"

She turned back to look at him, eyes wide. "Okay," she squeaked, a little taken aback by the force of his answer. "Any particular reason, or are you just taking pot-shots with a watergun in the apple orchard?"

“I don’t even want to get started.” He turned to stare at the wall. “It’s too hard to explain.”

“Okay,” CJ repeated, releasing his hand and moving about the room.

“CJ?” he called, turning back to look at her. “Whatya doing?”

“Tidying up.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want your mom thinking I’m a slob and we’ll need the space when dinner gets here,” she offered.

“You ordered dinner?” he asked, taken aback.

“The best Mexican in the district.”

"You're trying to impress me even more, aren't you?" he asked, his brow creasing.

"Nope," she replied. "I'm just giving you a sense of what you're in for -- I can't cook." She tossed a throw blanket up at him. "That's for you."

"It's a blanket," he said, pulling it around him.

"It's cashmere wool," she replied. "It was just lying around in a closet in my apartment. I thought you might need it."

“Now I feel like I should give you something,” he muttered, fingering the wool.

“You don’t have to,” CJ said quietly. “I just want you to get better.” She leaned in, fully prepared to kiss him when the door opened.

“Hope I’m not interrupting,” Marcia all but yelled. “Hogan’s asleep. John, you look better.”

"Mom, stop yelling or I'll look worse," John threatened.

CJ stifled a laugh. "I ordered dinner, Marcia -- it should be here in about an hour. I hope you like enchiladas?"

"They're fine," Marcia said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"Fine," John lied.

“I’m sorry that I can’t stay longer but the women’s guild need me to give the keynote speech. Of course, you could come back with me.”

John looked at CJ pleading with his eyes.

“The nurse will be fine,” CJ said, grinning. “And you can always come back and visit.”

John pulled a face.

CJ nudged him gently, and he sighed. "Yes, Mom, you could always come back and visit..." he said, trying not to choke on the words.

"Well, of course I will, dear heart," Marcia said, patting his arm. "After you get out of the hospital and are feeling better... and after CJ's settled in with you."

CJ's eyes widened and she opened her mouth without a sound emerging.

"Mom, CJ's not moving in," John interjected.

“Of course not dear,” she whispered, winking at him. “And there’ll be the wedding.”

“I need air,” CJ stammered, rushing for the door and disappearing through it.

Her agent had trouble keeping up as she ran through the hospital and up the stairs, changing direction every few minutes until she found herself on the roof.

"Leave me alone," she shouted at the agent, walking toward one of the corners of the roof and sitting down on the ground. She curled up into a ball and lowered her face into her knees. She wasn't going to cry, but she wished she could disappear and escape this nightmare.

She never wanted this. Any of it. She never wanted someone to really love her again. And now that it might be happening, and that she might be falling in love with him in return, it terrified her beyond any sensible reason.

There were too many people pushing her in to making a decision and she didn’t need that. She took a deep breath and looked up at the agent, “Can you run me to the White House?”

He nodded and she followed him down to the parking lot.

Finding Toby in his office, she borrowed his car and drove off. She wasn’t sure where she was going and she had only a few dollars in her pocket but she needed to be alone.

CJ slept in the car, awaking the next morning to find herself stiff and parked up in the middle of Maryland.

Her Secret Service agent was sitting on a boulder within sight of the car, drinking a cup of Starbucks. She sat up and saw him, stifling a groan. "I hate those guys," she muttered.

Her agent lifted his hand in greeting, then slid off the rock, heading over.

"I will not open the window, I will not open the window..." she muttered.

She didn't have to -- apparently the agent had Toby's spare set of car keys. He let himself into the passenger side of the car.

"You realize you caused a lot of worry last night?" he said. "Not to mention a lot of paperwork."

“Get stuffed.”

“Well that’s nice, Ma’am.”

CJ groaned and lowered her head to the steering wheel.

“I have orders to escort you back to the hospital. Apparently the Vice President is demanding your presence.”

"I need to shower and get changed first," CJ sighed. "I'm going home."

"Ma'am..."

"Just stop it, okay? I need to go home and change. And pick up a couple of things," she said.

The agent sighed. "Move to the back," he instructed gruffly. "I have to drive."

"Not until you promise to take me home."

“Yes, Ma’am. But if you’re asked, I found you in an hour’s time,” he grumbled, walking round to the driver’s side.

“My niece?” CJ suddenly remembered.

“Mrs. Hoynes took her to the airport this morning. She took the next flight to Austin herself,” the agent grinned.

"Oh," CJ said quietly, handing him her set of keys. "Look, I didn't mean to be trouble. It's just... never mind."

"What, you think I wouldn't be able to understand, Ms. Cregg?"

"No, because I don't understand myself."

“I imagine you are having some apprehension about dating the Vice President,” he commented, starting the engine.

“Can you not use the word dating,” CJ grimaced.

“Okay. I don’t mean to be nosy but do you love him?”

"I don't know, and that's half of the problem," she sighed, crossing her arms over the shoulder strap and settling in.

"What's the other half?"

"The other half is knowing that I am, and that I don't know if I can let him love me in return."

“But surely if you don’t try, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering?” He stared at the road as they headed for the highway. “Why not try a date or two? Maybe a public one. If it doesn’t work or it’s too much you can say you tried.”

"Yeah," CJ agreed quietly. "Can we not talk the rest of the trip, please?"

***

She opened the door to John's room, anticipating him to be livid when he saw her. "John?" she said very quietly, stepping inside.

He looked at her, looking like he wanted to start crying. "I was so worried," he choked out. "You just... left and didn't come back."

Her arms were around his neck in barely seconds and her face was buried in his shoulder.

“CJ?” he whispered, clinging to her like she might disappear. “Don’t ever do that again?”

"I'm sorry," she murmured, pulling back and kissing him on the cheek. "I had to.. I had to get away. I won't do it again," she agreed softly.

He kissed her on the lips with as much passion as he could muster. "Good," he whispered, kissing her again with a lighter kiss that sent shivers running up and down her spine.

She knew in that moment, seeing the relief and naked love on his face that she could let him love her. "John, I'm sorry," she whispered again. "Forgive me."

“It’s not your fault, it’s my mother,” he mumbled, rubbing her back. “But she’s gone now and we can go as slow as you like.”

“When you leave hospital tonight, I want to be by your side,” she stated, her fingers caressing his cheek.

"I wouldn't have you anywhere else," he replied. "You scared the hell out of me, running off like that, CJ -- I thought someone had kidnapped you or something until Ron Butterfield told me that you'd run off with Toby's car and they were tracking you in Maryland. What the hell's in Maryland?"

"Absolutely nothing," she said with a giddy laugh. "I was completely alone was all... that's all I needed was time alone, John." She leaned in and kissed him soundly. "I needed time alone to figure out how I feel about all of this -- you, me, Hogan, the baby, the press, the nightmare..."

"Did you figure it out?" he asked.

She nodded and smiled. "I figured out the only thing that matters."

"And what's that?"

"I love you," she whispered.

He glanced away and swallowed. It took him a few seconds to look back at her.

“John?” she whispered, confused.

When he turned back, his face was flushed. “Um. . . These four weeks are going to be the hardest of my life,” he commented dryly, glancing down at the bed sheets.

"You'll be going back to work in a couple of weeks," she said. "That will help keep your mind off of... things." Her smile lit up the room.

"Four weeks," he moaned. "I just think the doctor has it in for me..."

"Shh..." she murmured, brushing his hair back. "I'll talk to him and see what he has to say."

“And ask about scarring. You never know I might develop a hairy chest,” he grinned.

“You wouldn’t want to do that,” she teased, unbuttoning his pyjama top. Her fingers traced his wounds gently.

He flinched, and she drew her fingers back. "Sorry..." she whispered.

"No, it's just bruised a little," he said. "It's all right, really..."

She shifted her weight and her hand accidentally came to rest on the lump that had developed beneath the blankets. "Why, John, I don't think your body quite heard the doctor," she purred with a laugh.

“CJ,” he warned.

“I’m guessing my little trick with my tongue wouldn’t help your blood pressure,” she teased, her hands working their way along his thighs. Her voice caught as she continued to caress him.

“You like what you feel?” he asked, smirking.

CJ cleared her throat and locked eyes with him. “I’m kinda wishing we weren’t in the hospital right now.”

"So we could have sex and get away with it?" he prompted with a grin.

"Something like that... but we can't because of your blood pressure and..." She closed her eyes wearily. "But anyway," she continued lamely, opening her eyes, "it doesn't matter what I want right now -- except for me wanting you to get better."

“I am. Give me a week and we can go out for dinner, two weeks and I’m back at work. Three weeks, and. . .,” he trailed off, his eyes sparkling.

“That’s enough. Time for your bed bath.”

“You’re trying to kill me,” he groaned.

"You should be up to changing underwear today," she said with a smirk. "Not to mention I want to inspect the merchandise I've sold my soul for..."

"I can't guarantee I won't..." John cleared his throat. "Right now, I really have no control, and you'll get me in trouble with the doctor."

"I won't tell if you won't," she quipped jauntily as she headed for the door. "I'll be right back..."

When she came back, she had a bowl of soapy water, a washcloth, and a fresh towel. "Hop up and get undressed," she instructed.

"I'm not hopping anywhere." He sat up and took off his pyjama top.

"Bottoms, too," CJ prompted.

"But I'll get cold."

"John..."

He stood up and pulled down his pyjama pants.

"Boxers, too," she said.

John’s eyes went to the door and back to CJ’s face.

“Don’t worry, I told them no one was allowed in without my say so,” she smirked. “Get them off.”

“Isn’t this going too quickly?” he stammered.

“Would it help if I removed a layer too?” she asked, her jeans dropping to the floor.

"CJ, I'm gonna get in trouble..."

"Listen to yourself," she scolded. "You sound like a five year old. Do I need to take more off?"

He groaned and dropped his boxers.

"Back on the bed," she instructed. "I'm not going to do anything naughty, I promise."

John did as he was told, his hands covering his erection.

“Oh for God’s sake,” CJ groaned, pulling the tank top over her head and dropping it on the floor. “I’m not removing my panties.”

"I didn't ask you to," John squeaked.

"Whoda thunk you'd be a prude," she muttered.

"I am not a prude, I just don't want to get in trouble, because then that means we really can't have sex for a while and..."

She raised her eyebrow. "John, if you come while I'm giving you a bath, I'm not going to think any the worse of you," she assured him. "And neither will the doctors."

"You'd tell them?" he asked, horrified.

"No," she sighed. "Just... just let me give you your bath already!"

“Kiss me first.”

CJ glanced at his hands and back to his face. “Okay.” Her lips pressed against his gently, but he deepened the kiss.

She pulled back a moment later, dazed but still in control. "You'd better stop pulling these shenannigans, or I'll go back to work tomorrow," she promised. "Now let me give you your bath."

"Oh, fine," he grumbled, laying back onto the bed.

"Hold still," CJ said softly, dipping the washcloth in the water, then wringing it most of the way out again. She laid the wet cloth on his shoulder first, then made circles on her way down his chest, avoiding his stitches and bruises.

“Of course I’ll have to return the favor when I’m better,” he babbled. “A long bath and a massage. I could cook you dinner. Do you like French food?”

“John?”

“Yeah, well if not, I can make you an omelette.”

Her hands moved lowered, brushing his stomach.

"What kind of movies do you like? I can get someone to go rent some movies for us..."

"John, why do I get the impression you're more nervous than I am?" she teased, leaning in to kiss him gently on the lips.

“Because I am,” he admitted against her lips. “They say the first time is the hardest.”

“Your hands are in the way.”

“Give me the washcloth.”

She handed him the square of terrycloth, then said, "And what now, John? You want me to turn my back or avert my eyes?"

"Yes."

"Why, if I may ask?"

"It's not fair for you to be able to look when I can't look at you in return," he said. "Turn around or take the rest of your clothes off -- I don't care which."

CJ shivered at the look of desire in his eyes. “Look or touch?” She asked with as much bravado as she could muster.

The temperature in the room went up by degrees as he waited for her to turn and she waited for him to answer.

In the end, she lowered her panties over her hips and they fell onto the floor.

And she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. It too, fell to the floor. "So wash," she said, her voice shaking slightly.

John moved the hand that was still covering himself, and CJ couldn't surpress a moan. He shot her a look, and she bit her lip.

“This isn’t going to work,” he offered, his voice hitched.

“Wash!”

His hand moved in circles around his groin but his eyes focused on CJ, naked and shivering before him. He twitched and moaned. “Come here,” he instructed, halting his movements.

She didn’t move, just stared back at him.

“Touch me, please.”

"What about you getting in trouble?" she offered weakly.

"Right now, I don't care," he groaned, "just touch me, please."

"Let me," she whispered, taking the cloth from his hand. She dipped it in the water and wrung it before gently wrapping it around the base of his shaft. "Let me know if I hurt you," she instructed, eyes worried.

His fingers reached for hip, gently outlining the bone as CJ worked her way up to his tip. “God, CJ,” he moaned.

“Ssh.” Her hand began to stroke him, very gently up and down. “Tell me to stop.”

"I don't... want you to," he said, his voice faltering.

"Tell me to stop," she instructed. "Or I can't be responsible for my actions, John -- tell me to stop..."

She dropped the washcloth as his hand covered hers, increasing the pressure of her ministrations.

“I want . . .,” he moaned, “to touch you.”

Common sense told her this was dangerous and stupid, that even though it wouldn’t go the whole way it was too emotionally charged to go back afterwards.

But her heart was urging her on -- make memories now, give yourself something to hold onto if something happens again.

She was torn. "John..." she began, but he cut her off.

"Please... Claudia... let me," he pleaded.

Silently she climbed onto the bed beside him and propped herself up on one side. One hand continued to massage his erection as the other caressed his cheek.

“You are so beautiful,” he mumbled, as his eyes appraised every inch of her. “I’m never going to tire of looking at you.”

She smiled back at him, willing his hands to begin their careful exploration of her body.

He hesitantly lay his hand on her ribcage, gently massaging and worshiping her skin. His touch gained in confidents as the moments passed. "Bella," he whispered in awe.

Her smile vanished when his hands slowly worked their way to her breast, kneading and working the nipple into a peak. A strangled moan of pleasure forced its way past her lips and she had to stop herself from tightening her grip on his erection.

“John,” she gasped.

His lips covered hers to silence her moans as his hand ran across her smooth stomach.

She rolled onto her back and his hand drifted lower, caressing her hip, then blazing a warm trail down her thigh.

She grabbed his hand before it could drift between her thighs and pulled her lips away. "Promise me it doesn't end with this," she whispered.

His eyes gazed back at her, reaching deep inside her, and enveloping her soul. “Today, yes,” he whispered, leaning in. “But this isn’t a one time thing for me.”

CJ kissed him hard on the mouth, her hand returning to his erection.

“Careful," she murmured into his mouth as he shifted his body.

"Oh, would you for one minute stop worrying?" he asked, breaking the kiss and staring down at her.

"Okay," she whispered. His fingers slipped between her legs and she bit back a groan. "John..."

"Shh..." he whispered, his fingertips exploring her most sensitive spots. He kept track of what motion or pressure did what to her, and by the time he actually touched her clit, she nearly bucked off the bed.

Her hand tightened it’s grip on his shaft and he bit back the simultaneous moan of pleasure and pain.

“CJ, it’s breakable,” he muttered, as his lips began to trail wet silky kisses along her collarbone.

"So'm....I..." she whimpered, arching against him. "John!"

"Hmm?" he murmured, pausing.

"Hurry," she insisted, beginning to pant.

Shifting position slightly, and pausing to catch his breath, John’s thumb took over on her clit as he thrust one finger deep inside her. “Claudia,” he whispered, increasing the friction of his ministrations.

CJ’s hand moved up and down his shaft in time to his movements against her sex.

The blood thundered in her ears, carrying her on wave after wave of pleasure, but her release slammed into her from nowhere, overwhelming her.

She couldn't control for those few moments the pressure of her hand on his erection, but as she came back to herself, she worried suddenly that she might have hurt him.

CJ looked down, only to find John’s eyes closed. “Honey?”

His hand covered hers in that second, willing her to take him over the edge, to give him the release he so desperately needed.

She gently squeezed him, then rubbed gently with her palm. "Just relax," she whispered. "I'll try to hurry, okay?"

He grunted as her motions quickened, feeling blood course through his veins faster and faster until he couldn't hold back any longer.

“Claudia,” he grown as he spilled forth into her hand and he shuddered with his climax.

“John,” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips as she slowed her motions.

His free hand pulled at the sheet, dragging it across their naked bodies.

CJ loosened her grip and pulled her hand away, using the washcloth she had dropped on the sheets earlier to clean her hand up.

"I should finish giving you your bath..." she whispered, settling her head on his chest. "Especially before the doctor comes back and wigs out."

“I thought we might try again,” he teased, opening his eyes and grinning up at her.

“Next time we try this, it’ll be in a bigger bed,” she groaned, stretching and almost toppling off the bed. “We really need to get dressed. And you need a shave.”

He smirked up at her. "I thought you said you liked me looking scruffy..."

"You're going home in a few hours and you have to have your picture taken," she scolded, standing up and reaching for her panties. "I want you shaven."

“I’d rather like you shaven,” he offered, bashfully.

CJ flushed pink and looked away. “I need to find something other than jeans to wear.”

“Would you do that for me?”

"We'll see," she said, turning away before he could see how red her face had gotten. "I brought a couple of linen pants-sets -- do you think..."

"Wear whatever you want," John said, cutting her off. "We'll just take it off later anyway."

She turned to look at him, and laughed at the expression on his face. "I don't suppose we're going to last four weeks, are we?"

He looked sheepish. “I’d just be happy for it to last an hour,” he smirked.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“You could get that pert little backside over here and kiss me,” he decided. “Then you might wanna track down some pain killers.”

She crossed the room and leaned down to kiss him tenderly on the lips. "Now can I get dressed so I can go get you your painkillers?" she asked.

"Yes, please," John replied.

"If you're going to need painkillers every time we do this, we might want to look into investing in a pharmacy," CJ teased.

“Hey!” he protested, then he grinned. “Does that mean we’re going to be doing this a lot?”

“Maybe.”

“In which case get me some of those blue pills too.”

"Viagra?" CJ said with a laugh. "You don't need it, John."

"What, you think I'll be able to get it up indefinitely?" he accused with a grin.

"No, but that's okay -- sex isn't everything."

He looked away. “Did you not enjoy that?” he asked, quietly. “I mean I’m not a hundred percent but. . . “

Her mouth covering his silenced him.

When she pulled back, she murmured, "I did enjoy it. What I was trying to say is that sex can't be the foundation of our relationship."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, that's good because I thought you were complaining."

"Hell no," she laughed, kissing him again. "I'm gonna get dressed now."

“I really thought you were going to end this when I walked into the shower and you were naked,” he called after her as she disappeared into the bathroom.

He was rewarded with silence.

“And then last night,” his voice caught as the panic resurfaced. “CJ?”

Her head reappeared. "I'm here," she replied. "I was just kind of... um... stuck in my sweater neck."

"What?"

"I couldn't get it on all the way," she said with a giggle. "Okay, one thing you should know is that I'm a total klutz most of the time."

She stepped back out of the bathroom dressed in a tight-fitting short-sleeved sweater and a pair of white lace panties. "You were saying...?"

“Er, nothing, doesn’t matter,” he muttered, his eyes drifting up and down her long lean limbs. “Can you fetch me my electric razor?”

CJ disappeared only to reappear a second later. “Anything else?”

“Nope,” he grinned.

"Okay," she murmured, grabbing her jeans and pulling them on. "Try to behave yourself while I'm gone, will ya?"

"Pain pills," he reminded her.

"Yes, dear, I know," she chuckled, leaning down to kiss him before heading for the door. "And no, the dear was not a slip of the tongue."

“Okay honeybun.”

She shot him a pointed look and left.

The agents all smiled at her and exchanged knowing looks.

Having located a nurse and checked in with the office, CJ returned to the room.

John was standing, gripping the bed, newly shaven, his shirt buttoned and his pants around his knees.

"John?" she said worriedly, stepping forward. "Honey?"

"I'm okay," he gritted out through clenched teeth.

“Not from where I’m standing,” she chided, positioning herself behind him and easing his pants up his legs. “Why didn’t you wait?”

His silence was telling enough.

“John, I love you and this isn’t going to change that.”

"Oh no, I just have to wait for help to do the simplest things," he grunt out angrily.

"Just wait a second," she protested sharply. "You're not going to be like this forever so stop pretending you are. And secondly... secondly... I love you and this doesn't change jack shit about us!"

He turned and slumped onto the bed. “You sure about that?”

“What? The love or the jack shit?”

“That you love me.”

“Yeah. That and the fact I want to get you home and screw your brains out,” she grinned, running her fingers down the front of his shirt.

"You're a walking barrel of trouble," he muttered.

"Only when you don't know me well..." she murmured, leaning in to kiss him hungrily. "Once you get to know me better you'll realize there are trade-offs."

"Like sex."

"No... like I'm a really nice person."

"And sex."

“If you’re patient, yes. So you want a tie?” she asked, stepping back.

He shook his head and reached for her hand. “Once we get home tonight, we shut the doors and enjoy being alone.”

“Then I’ll have to leave.”

"No, you won't have to leave."

"Yes, I will -- I can't stay overnight," she said softly. "It wouldn't look good for anyone. Not you, not the president... but especially not me." She sighed. "I'm sorry, John, but..."

"Yeah," he said, as disappointed as he would ever be about any one thing in his life.

“Look, in a few months, it will be easier. The Christian Right might not be too impressed, but when we’re seen as a permanent fixture everyone else will just be relieved you’re not gay,” CJ offered, wondering who was going to end up spinning that one.

John’s smile lit up his face. “You’ve done a complete turn around in a week. I’m not going out with you, we can be friends, let’s take it slowly and now we’re going to be a permanent fixture,” he teased. “What’s next?”

"If you think you can get me to agree to a baby, I'll castrate you with my pruning shears," she vowed, shaking her finger. "Button your pants or they're gonna fall down."

John scowled and buttoned his waistband. "You gonna get changed?" he asked.

"Yes, but when I was doing it before, you kind of got a little wiggy on me -- I'll be back in a minute, I *promise*," she said, grabbing her suit bag and disappearing into the bathroom.

“You do realized that the only thing I’ll be thinking about out there is those little white lacy things,” he called.

“These?” The said white lacy things flew across the room.

“CJ?” he choked.

“They ruin the line of the suit.”

"You're gonna kill me," he groaned in dismay.

"No, I plan on keeping you around a while," CJ called. "I have plans for you, dearest..."

"That sounds ominous..."

Her smile when she exited the bathroom was enough to disarm him.

He looked back at her, a confident vibrant woman and tried to shake the image of her naked on his bed.

“So I thought we’d walk along the corridor, stretch a little before the doctor comes,” CJ stated, clipping her hair off her face.

"Kind of a trial run?" he said.

"Yeah, something like that -- only you can't grab me and kiss me on the real thing. Or on the trial run, either," she said. "I can't spin something like that."

"Party pooper," he muttered.

“John!” CJ scolded, waving her hand through the air. “Shoes and socks.”

“Yeah,” he grumbled, dangling his feet at her. “So no kissing, what about restrictions on where I put my hand?”

"Don't grope me and we're fine," she said with a giggle as he did just that. "John!"

"Sorry," he muttered.

Once he was ready, they walked out into the hallway and stretched their legs a while.

Their walk took them as far as the dayroom and back again.

It was only later as they stepped outside to the clicking cameras of the Press Corps that CJ realized that being with John, on his arm, was as natural as breathing. And something that she would find hard to give up.

John’s recovery was swift once he got home, with him resuming normal activities in two weeks instead of four. When Hogan came back, the three -- no, three and a half -- of them were seen out and about town on the weekends. The country was more concerned with the Vice President’s recovery than any potential relationship he might have in the wings.

CJ found a bigger apartment and she and Hogan had settled in. More and more CJ found herself enjoying life beyond work, and she even went so far as to invite John to help them paint the nursery/spare room one weekend.

They had come a long way since the night of the state dinner, far enough for CJ to rethink her future.

CJ was suitably upset when John had to make his first long trip away in the interests of foreign diplomacy, and she spent hours on the phone with him, wishing he was with her instead.

During CJ’s short trip to the G8 summit, Hogan moved in with John, and upon her return CJ went straight to his residence rather than the West Wing.

Her belongings were steadily creeping into his house, and John found he really rather liked where they were going. He bided his time in the hope she would finally be willing to commit.

About three weeks before Hogan was due, CJ and John had a huge fight over whether or not she should go to the state dinner as his date or as the President's advisor, and he had walked out.

CJ refused to phone him on the grounds she was right. Every night she went to bed, truly believing that she had managed to end it for good this time.

Three days later, he hadn't so much as called once.

Hogan was getting worried about her aunt, and it didn't help that she was also starting to worry about giving birth. As much as CJ was supportive about the pregnancy, something had changed the night of the argument and it was all too apparent how much CJ was hurting.

Checking her aunt was still in the bedroom, Hogan dialled the Observatory residence late that night. "Hi, Carl, it's Hogan -- I need to talk to the Vice President, please," she said quietly into the phone, hoping her voice didn't carry.

"Hi, Hogan," John said wearily when he picked up the phone. "How're you?"

"I'm okay, but Aunt CJ isn't," Hogan admitted. "She's locked herself in her room and won't let me in. I think she's crying again."

"What am I supposed to do about that?" John asked. He ran his fingers through his hair, wondering how the hell he’d read the situation so wrong.

Due to a mixture of hormones and lost sleep, Hogan lost it. "Okay, goddamn it, I'm sick of sitting here, doing nothing -- you guys broke it, so fix it already! She hasn't talked to me since the fight, and that's not good because I'm gonna have a baby soon and I need my aunt -- not some love-sick weepy woman who's unhappy and I'm putting my foot down. You're coming over here now, even if I have to call Ron Butterfield and make him make your agents drag you!"

“Hogan,” John groaned. “If she wanted to see me, she would have called.”

“And if you wanted to see her, you would have called.” Hogan shook her head. “And I’m supposed to be the kid.”

“She made it perfectly clear she doesn’t want to be seen out with me. I asked her to be my date, Hogan, and she said no.”

“Look, my aunt is stubborn and pigheaded, but she’s also been hurt too many times in the past. This isn’t about her not wanting to be seen with you.”

“Then what is it?” John asked, carrying the phone into the hallway and motioning to his agent.

“Come over here and ask her yourself.”

"Hold on a second, okay?" John said, covering the receiver with his hand. "Bill, I'm going out."

"Yes, sir -- should we send a team to sweep..."

"CJ's. I'm going to CJ's. You keep frigging cameras in there, for... I'm going to CJ's."

The agent smirked. "Yes, sir, very good sir."

"I'm not saying she's right, mind you..."

"Of course not, sir."

"But I have a feeling she is."

"Yes, sir."

"So I'm going to... why am I repeating myself again?" John rolled his eyes and put the phone back to his ear. "Hogan, I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

"You still have the key?"

"Well, it's not like I threw it into the Potomac."

"Good, because I'm gonna be in my room, freaking out."

"Why..."

"No particular reason."

"Okay, just thought I'd ask, because, y'know..."

"Yeah."

“So I’ll see you in a while,” John repeated, wondering whether CJ would throw things first and ask questions later. He groaned as he returned the phone to it’s cradle and headed out to the unmarked car.

The drive was quick and he was soon alighting on the pavement outside CJ’s building.

John looked up towards the window of her living room and back at his agent. “Wish me luck.”

“Would you like to borrow my vest, Sir?” Bill teased, his face inscrutable.

“NO, thank you.” John stepped into the outer lobby and took the stairs to her apartment. “You still have my back, right?” he asked, turning the key and walking into the apartment.

“I’ll be right outside the door, Sir.”

“Fat lot of help you’ll be.”

"It's not in my job to be a relationship counselor, sir," the agent said with a perfectly straight face.

John scowled at him and closed the door quietly. He went first to Hogan's room to check on her. She was lying on the bed, her headphones over her ears, nose buried in a calculus textbook.

He closed the door and went to CJ's room next. He knocked, and her muffled voice said, "I'm not hungry, Hogan -- how many times do I have to tell you?"

John knocked again.

“For fuck’s sake, just leave me alone.”

“Should I have phoned first?” John asked calmly, taking a step back as something hit the door with a thud.

He sighed. "Can't we talk about this like the rational adults we supposedly are?"

"You didn't call!" she shouted angrily, and there was another thud against the door.

"Neither did you," he pointed out.

There was silence for a long time -- so long he began counting the minutes -- then the door opened. "I'm sorry," CJ whispered, wiping tears from her cheeks and standing in the doorway, looking for all the world like a lost little girl.

His heart skipped a beat and he took a hesitant step forward. “You aren’t going to hit me, are you?”

She shook her head as his arms pulled her close. “But we need to talk.”

He stifled his groan as he took in the scent of her shampoo and his fingers trailed her ribcage. “Okay.” His eyes drifted to the bedroom and the scattered tissues on the floor.

"CJ, honey..." he said, but she cut him off with a tight squeeze around his middle.

"I thought I lost you," she murmured, burying her face in his shoulder and trying not to start crying again.

"It takes a lot more than that to get rid of me," he said with a chuckle, "but Hogan was the one that smacked some sense into me."

CJ sniffled into his shoulder and fought to compose herself. "We really do need to talk," she murmured, pulling him toward the bed to sit down. "Why... why the sudden push for me to be your girlfriend instead of the Press Secretary?" she asked, reaching for a kleenex with one hand but the other hand was firmly entwined with his.

"Because I wanted to ask my girlfriend something at the state dinner. I didn't want to ask the Press Secretary," he said softly.

“Oh?” she asked a little surprised. “And I want to go as Press Secretary because I don’t want to be seen as something hanging on your arm. I’m not that sort of girl.” She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “This is going to sound silly but I want to go to our first official function as more than just a girlfriend.”

"You are anything but just a girlfriend," John murmured, leaning in to kiss her lips gently. "You are Claudia Cregg. Nothing more, nothing less."

She nodded and ran her fingers through his hair. "I missed you," she whispered.

"CJ, I can ask now... if you want, I mean... I…," he said, shifting nervously.

"Ask...?"

"What I was going to ask at the dinner. Of course, I would have done it better then because my speechwriters wrote a thing and it's in my other pants," he joked lamely.

"John..."

"Claudia, I love you. It may not mean much to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me... and what just happened between us -- the fight, I mean -- I don't want it to happen again. I love you, I don't want to lose you -- please marry me."

“John?” she squealed, tightening her grip on his hand. “Really?” She cleared her throat and when she spoke she sounded more professional, “You really want to marry me?”

“Could you just give him an answer and stop with the questions?” Hogan called out from her doorway. “We don’t have all night.”

"Yes, I want to marry you," John said in a 'duh' tone of voice. "So... what do you say?"

"I say... YES," CJ declared firmly, throwing her arms around him and smiling. Happy tears stung in her eyes, and she started to laugh. The tears burst forth, and soon she was crying all over again, this time the difference being that he was there to hold her.

"I love you," she sniffled, smiling.

"I love you, too..."

"Um," Hogan said from the doorway, holding a duffel bag. "There's somebody else who wants to join in the lovefest, and I wanna go get some drugs before they won't give me any," she said.

CJ slipped out of John’s embrace and turned to look at her niece. “Hogan, honey, how long?”

“The last few hours,” she admitted weakly.

“Okay. We’d better get you to hospital. John, I, you should. . .” CJ started.

“I’ll get the detail to secure the hospital.”

CJ nodded and reached for her tennis shoes. "Hogan, why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"I tried to but you kept telling me to go away -- I thought if I got John here, I'd've stood a better chance of not delivering a baby in my bedroom," Hogan said, her face scrunching as she grabbed the doorframe. She moaned for a long time, then inhaled sharply and slid down the doorway.

John grabbed her and lowered her to the floor. "Deep breaths," he murmured.

She nodded and closed her eyes, concentrating.

When the contraction passed, Hogan's eyes opened and she gritted out, "I thought you were gonna call the hospital, dammit!"

"I've got it," CJ said from the bedside table where she was already on the phone. "They're working on it -- ten minutes."

"Ten minutes is good," Hogan said.

It all happened in a blur after that. Bill charging into the apartment and shouting orders into his wrist. Two other agents flanking John as he carried Hogan to the car. The drive across town with blue lights flashing and John aiding Hogan with her breathing.

It was only at the hospital that he stepped to one side, wondering if his presence was out of place.

CJ hovered at Hogan's bedside until Hogan sent her out for some ice chips. "John..." Hogan said quietly. "I need drugs and I don't trust Aunt CJ to get them for me. She's kind of demented when it comes to pain and meds -- and I want you to be here." Her forehead scrunched. "Daddy doesn't want anything to do with me or the baby -- I need you here." She smiled weakly. "Please?"

"Okay," John agreed.

"One thing..."

"What?"

"I'm not calling you 'Uncle John'."

“Well just don’t go around calling me daddy, either,” he teased. “The press would love that.”

Hogan smiled then grabbed his hand, squeezing it until it turned white.

“Breathe, “John panted.

"I AM," she ground out. When the contraction had passed, she fell back against the pillows again, moaning. "Why did I ever think I could do this?"

"Because you're a good kid," John said, leaning back in his chair. "And that's just what you thought you should do."

"If it's a big mistake..." Hogan said. "If I can't do this, I mean, raising the baby and all -- will you and Aunt CJ do it?"

“You’ll be just fine,” John whispered, brushing her damp bangs from her eyes. “And we’re here one hundred percent of the way.”

“Is everything alright?” CJ asked, entering the room with a bag of ice and a collection of CDs from the car.

“Yeah,” Hogan muttered, grabbing John’s hand again. “I think Macy is about to make an appearance.”

“Macy?”

CJ shook her head. “She’s trying them out for size, yesterday it was Brittany.”

"What if it's a boy?" John asked, rewarded with a glare and Hogan's hand wrenching his. "OW!"

"HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?" Hogan shrieked.

A nurse came in to check dilation, and smiled. "We're going to move you into delivery, Miss Cregg..."

"I should hope so!" Hogan wailed. "I need drugs... now."

“Hogan, honey,” CJ muttered, taking her other hand. “We need to be careful.”

“JOHN!” Hogan looked up at him desperately. “If she doesn’t. . .”

“We really need to move her now,” the nurse repeated. “If you’d like to wait in the waiting room.” She directed her comment to John.

John shook his head. "I'm going with them," he said firmly. "And CJ, she gets drugs if she needs them, okay?"

CJ's eyes narrowed. "How dare..."

"How dare he?" Hogan yelped. "Okay, look, I'm the one who needs the drugs right now, not you, not him -- and if you don't mind, I was the one that got you two back together. GIMME A BREAK AND AN EPIDURAL BEFORE I DIE!" She moaned and flopped back onto the pillows again.

“I’m sorry but that’s not going to happen,” the doctor announced entering the room. “Sheri tells me you’re already nine centimetres dilated. Baby Cregg is going to be here any second.” her smile was enough to have Hogan screaming again. “Maybe some gas?”

"Something, anything," Hogan begged, flinching. "Oh God, on second thought...."

"You take one hand," CJ instructed John, "and I'll take the other."

"I can't do this," Hogan whimpered.

The doctor took her place and Hogan resisted the urge to kick her in the face when she smiled and said, "I don't want you to push just yet..."

"I don't give a rat's ass what you do and don't want me to do!" Hogan shouted. "I'm pushing, dammit!"

“Hogan,” John said softly, “take a deep breath then start panting.”

“There is no way I’m having another baby,” CJ muttered, glancing across at John. “Hogan, sweetie, it’s going to be just fine.”

Their eyes met and in an instance everything became clear.

"It's okay," CJ repeated, brushing a kiss to her niece's forehead. "It's almost over..."

"On the next contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can," the doctor said.

Hogan moaned and began to cry. "I can't do this..."

"You have to, sweetie," CJ said. "It's almost over, I promise."

"Just think of the milkshake that's going to be waiting when you're done," John said, getting 'what the hell?' looks from his fiancee and his niece. He shrugged. "Well, it was worth a try..."

Hogan bit back a scream and began pushing, tears streaking down her cheeks.

Between pushes, John encouraged her to breathe, and finally, they were rewarded with a baby's scream. "I'm never having sex again," Hogan vowed, breathing heavily and closing her eyes as CJ and John guided her back onto the pillows for a rest.

“Well that’s good to know,” CJ commented dryly. “You did good.”

“You have a baby girl, Hogan,” the nurse said, gently placing her on the scales.

“We need another push then you can hold your daughter.”

CJ glanced across at John and back at the baby. “I, um, need some air.”

"You want me to come with you?" John asked, brow creasing with concern.

"No, I'll be okay -- I'll find you guys in a while," CJ promised weakly, leaving the room.

"You'd better go after her," Hogan prompted as the nurse handed over the tiny baby for her to hold. "I'll be fine -- she might not be."

“I’ll be right back. See if you can’t come up with a name,” John whispered, leaning in to place a kiss on the baby’s head.

He found CJ leaning against the water fountain, her cheeks obviously damp and her eyes watery. His arms automatically slipped around her waist and pulled her against his chest. “You should have told me.” He kissed her hair. “Do you want your daughter back?”

"My son," she whispered.

"Sorry, my mistake, I just thought with... Sorry," he whispered, breathing deeply.

"Yes, I want him back," CJ murmured, wiping furiously at her eyes. "But he's not a baby anymore -- he's 24 now... and he probably hates me for giving him up. I want him, but he probably doesn't want me."

"You wanna find out?" John asked. "I can put in a couple of calls and have him here tomorrow."

"I'm just being selfish," CJ muttered. "I can't just uproot him and insist that he spend time with me -- it's not reasonable."

"But if you don't, you'll regret it the rest of your life, right?"

She sighed. "Something like that."

"In a little bit, we'll go back to your place and get the adoption papers you signed and I'll make a call to the FBI and track him down. After that, it's up to you what you do, okay?"

He kissed the side of her neck and gently squeezed her around the middle.

"Okay," she murmured, rubbing his arms with the palms of her hands. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Claudia," he replied. "Now let's go see your newest fan."

CJ chuckled and followed him into Hogan's private room. "Hey, sweetie," CJ said with a smile. "Let me see her..."

"You can hold her for a minute," Hogan said. "I'm starting to get sore." She passed the little girl off to her aunt and relaxed. "I finally decided to name her after Nana," she said as CJ cradled the baby.

"Mindy?" CJ said, raising her eyebrow.

"No, not your mom nana -- great-grandma nana," Hogan said, rolling her eyes. "She's Diedre Mary Cregg," she said authoritatively. "But I'm calling her squirt."

"Squirt?" John said with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't ask," CJ said with a chuckle. "First baby of each generation is called Squirt until they grow into their names."

"One of those weird little family traditions I'm gonna have to get used to?" John asked with a chuckle.

"Something like that," CJ murmured, pressing a feather- light kiss to Diedre's forehead. "Would you like to hold her, John?"

"Uh... sure," he said after a moment's hesitation. CJ passed her off to him and smiled. "We need a camera."

"I need a nap," Hogan chuckled. "It's two in the morning -- you guys gotta go get ready for work already."

CJ glanced at her watch and stifled a groan. "She's right -- we need sleep..."

"No we don't," John said, glancing back at her. "We'll be fine," he assured Hogan with a grin. "She's a precious little Squirt, isn't she?" he asked.

CJ and Hogan exchanged glances and laughed. "You're catching on," CJ said, kissing him on the cheek. She leaned closer to him, and whispered into his ear, "Right now, all I need is this little girl. And you. My son can wait a while longer."

"What about a ring?" John asked with a grin.

"Take me to Vegas and marry me with one of those cheap rings," she laughed.

"I don't think the Secret Service would like that very much..." he said.

Which was how he came to be watching the most incredible woman he had ever known coming down the aisle to become his wife a few short months later.

The End