Carol had long since gone home and CJ’s desk no longer resembled the bomb site it had an hour earlier. For once the boys were working in their own offices, leaving her to enjoy some well deserved solitude and actually be able to get some work done.

CJ stretched back in her chair and glanced at the memo.

“CJ?” came a voice from the door accompanied by a light knock. When she didn’t reply the voice came louder. “CJ?”

CJ turned her head and jumped up, “Mr President. Good evening.”

“I was walking the halls and I saw the light on,” he explained.

“I’m just trying to clear my desk.”

“You’re heading home. I won’t keep you,” he said, disappointed.

Since the night in the barn he had been desperately trying to find a reason to drop by her office late at night and strike up a conversation. Abbey’s accident and the imminent hearings had made that virtually impossible.

CJ waved her hands through the air. “No, it’s fine. If I don’t at least attempt to clear my desk each night I have chaos by the weekend. Please stay,” she added, a little too eagerly.

The months of forced separation were making her despondent. Bar a brief conversation at Thanksgiving they had tried, and succeeded, to stay out of each other’s way. CJ found it easier not to dwell on what might have been when the object of her affection was out of reach.

“Did Toby apologize?” The President asked, settling himself on the couch.

CJ circled the desk and leaned against the edge of it. “What was Toby supposed to apologize for?” she asked quizzically.

Jed folded his hands and looked at his feet, “There seemed to be something going on between you earlier.”

It was CJ’s turn to stare at her feet. “It was nothing Sir.”

“So you aren’t looking at me strangely?” Jed asked, patting the couch beside him.

CJ glanced up at him and sighed. “No more than usual,” she muttered under her breath, settling herself on the couch, as far from him as possible.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch what you said.”

“Why would I look at you strangely?” CJ asked, grinning, her palms up in a ‘what the hell’ gesture.

Jed looked sheepish and glanced away. “I thought you might be a little peeved about the base in Qumar,” he said softly, all the while still avoiding her eyes.

CJ sighed and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. “More than a little, Sir.”

“Oh,” Jed gasped, glancing at her for the first time since sitting down. His eyes settled on her face for a second before they focused on a point behind her.

“Which I’m guessing, you expected, so sent Toby to ease me in gently,” she acknowledged, raising her eyebrows.

His nod was subtle but his hands fidgeting in his lap weren’t.

“It wasn’t like before,” he said quietly. Jed wasn’t quite sure when it became before. He was loathe to say exactly what he was referring to.

The fear and constant concern in her eyes when they were in the same room was almost enough to break his resolve to abide by her wishes.

“No? So you didn’t send Toby because you couldn’t face me yourself?” CJ asked, a wry grin crossing her face.

Jed shook his head and leaned forward in his seat. “Not exactly. Every time I make one of these deals the women in this building give me funny looks and you get emotional.”

“So don’t make the deals,“ she said simply. CJ shifted in her seat until she was looking at him side on. “I get emotional?”

Jed grimaced and sighed; it wasn’t exactly how he’d envisioned this conversation going. He was hoping he could instigate their late night conversations and maybe persuade her to change her mind about them.

“You have strong opinions,” he stated.

“When women are being butchered, yes I do.”

“Oftentimes you don’t--conceal them,” he groaned.

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” she growled, straightening her back then immediately inhaling sharply.

The line was still blurred between them. Despite turning her back on any relationship they might have had, she still felt inordinately close to him and there remained an unspoken freedom when they were together.

“I like your spirit,” he said suddenly, wanting to appease her.

“But I’m too emotional,” she snorted.

“When did we stop having normal conversations?” Jed groaned.

“Mr President.”

“Jed, you call me Jed when we’re alone,” he said firmly, turning to look her directly. “If we’re going to be frank at least call me by my name.”

“We put that behind us,” CJ mumbled nervously, biting on her bottom lip

“As I recall I didn’t have much say in the decision,” Jed grumbled.

CJ stood and began her pacing around the small space. “Sir, you’re the President, I’m the Press Secretary, that’s why.”

“And a hundred other reasons.”

“Yes.”

“So you really think we should release the news about the BSE?” he asked, changing the subject. “Leo and Toby are pretty sure keeping silent is the thing to do.”

“With respect, they aren’t the ones having to face the Press, they aren’t the ones who are going to get accused of lying.” She didn’t need to add ‘again’, the Press were making sure she was fully aware of her misdemeanours.

“We aren’t lying. These are the sorts of secrets we’re meant to keep. It’s not certain yet and if and when it is you will go in there with all the facts.” He sounded much more formal than he had intended.

“I apologise for earlier,” CJ said quietly.

“For what?”

“In your office, comparing BSE to MS, it was inappropriate,” she mumbled.

Jed shrugged, “I wasn’t paying that much attention. When the four of you get in a room everything pretty much gets drowned out. I was more interested in the thing with you and Toby,” he said, grinning, but there was a hint of something undetermined in his eyes.

“He was mad at me about something else. I told him to shove it…”

“Up his arse?” Jed grinned.

“Yeah,” she blushed and fiddled with her hair, pulling the pins holding it in place. Her hair fell to her shoulders and she tangled her fingers through the strands while she considered what to say next. “So you’re getting sued.”

Jed grinned and nodded, “Not the first time, but this time it’s regarding someone who didn’t wear their seatbelt. Apparently I made some comment in a speech and they took it the wrong way.”

“Sam is all fired up again,” CJ commented.

“That’s Sam. And you, where do you stand?”

“I can’t get emotional about it. Not when a woman’s raped and beaten by her family.”

“Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence?” Jed asked, his eyes full of concern.

CJ closed her eyes and sighed, memories of her past coming flooding back. “No.” Sure there had been verbal fights and one boyfriend slapped her, once, once was all it took before she kicked him out of the apartment and changed the locks.

Jed sat back in surprise, “Oh.”

“You just thought because I felt so strongly that it had to be personal.”

“Yes.”

“No. I’ve read the articles, seen the artwork and it hit’s a chord, much like the orphans in Romania did,” she admitted. “In itself it’s awful but we need to respect their statehood and sovereignty. I understand we can’t interfere. But when we lease bases and hand over weapons, then I believe we have an obligation to do something to stop it.”

“I can’t say I like the idea of dealing in military hardware but that’s why I have advisors. Everything they’ve shown me leads me to believe we need the deal.” Jed paused. “None of us can predict what they will do with them.”

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before CJ perched again on the edge of her desk.

“Toby did apologise, at least he made a gesture,” she explained. “The words I apologize aren’t in his vocabulary. Well, at least not unless he’s feeling really guilty.”

“I still feel like I should apologize for something,” Jed admitted.

He wanted to prolong the conversation, to return it to the personal sub context they had once shared.

“To me?”

“Yeah.”

There was a knock at the door and CJ moved back behind her desk. “Come.”

Toby pushed open the door and stepped inside. He caught sight of the President on the couch and shuffled in the doorway.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” he mumbled.

Jed stood and waved his hands, “It’s fine. Have you come to take CJ to apologize?”

Toby rubbed his head subconsciously and avoided looking at either of them. “We’re all going for a drink, Sir.”

“Excellent. I need to go and find my wife.” Jed took a step to move past Toby and spun around. “We’ll continue this conversation at a later date?” he asked hopefully.

CJ looked up to find Toby and Jed both staring at her intently. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nodded, “Yes, Mr President.”

As the President resumed his exit, Toby took a step further into the room and looked at her expectantly.

CJ inwardly groaned and glanced back at the memo. Tucking it in a file she powered down her laptop. “Did you mention something about a drink?”

“Yeah, I’m buying.”

“That’s good, because I’m getting drunk.”

CJ grabbed her coat and hit the light switch off behind her, wondering whether she and Jed would ever get another opportunity to work through things.

The End