| Again |
| By Bianca |
| Chapter 1 I finally came home from a long day at school. Oh, I can�t wait until I graduate from Summerhill. After that, it�s nothing but the big time. Shane, Kian, and I are planning to go to Dublin after school is over in a couple of weeks. Our dreams of becoming the next Boyzone is on our grasp. I know I�m going to miss it here when I�m famous. What will mum and da feel when I�m away? Will Barry take my room? Is Colin going to go through my stuff? There�s one real thing I�m going to miss, my lovely girlfriend. Gemma and I have been together for the past 3 months and it couldn�t be any better. Wow, the girl can give me a great blow job. Actually, she�s too good in bed. How in the world does she get those moves? Too bad we didn�t get together earlier. As I reached to my room, I found my answering machine blinking. Everybody knows I�m in school at this hour. I do hope however it�s Gemma. I pressed the button and hear a familiar, feminine voice. "Hiya Mark! It�s me, Dee!" That is Shane�s girlfriend, Deidre. I knew her since we were about 10 years old. She�s very funny and sweet. Thank goodness that she and Shane are finally together. "Listen, did your heard the news? Mia is back! She said for us to meet up at the Carlton at 8 tonight. Don�t worry, I told Kian and Shane to come too. Well, see you tonight." Mia is back? Oh gosh. It�s been almost 5 years since we�ve seen each other. Mia and I have been best friends since we were 5 years old. We always admired how fearless she really is. This girl is so implusive. She was such a tomboy and a rebel against her fellow uppermiddle class girls living near to her. Sadly, she moved when she was 13 to New York. We kept in touch, but in the last couple of years, she was busy with that bloody stiffy private school she went to. Sometimes, I wish I could go back when we were 13 and....nevermind. I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Then I looked for a nice shirt and found this green sweater. I put that and black trousers on and ran to my mum�s Fiesta. Then, the car just wouldn�t start. "Arrrrgh! Feckin� Fiesta!" I shouted to myself as I kicked the car. I opened the bonnet to look at the motor. It seems something is really wrong at the engine. "Da! Da, can you please come out here and jump start this old banger?!" I shouted again, but this time to get me da�s attention. Finally, me da finally came out. "What�s wrong, son?" Da asked. "Can�t ye see this car won�t start!" "Hold on for a moment, son." My dad went to the Fiesta and fixed the engine of the car. "So, where you off to?" "Carlton�s. You heard that Mia�s back home?" I asked as I got in the car. "She is, eh? That�s great. Well have a good time." My da put the bonnet down as I turned the engine one more time. "Don�t stay out too late, like you did the other night!" "I will, da!" I rolled my eyes before driving off to Carlton�s. I looked at the clock and saw that I�m already late. "Crap, I�m running late. Oh well, not like there are anywhere else they could go on a Monday night here. Really, I�ll be there when I�m there." I speed down the road, going 60 mph. Then I heard a siren from behind. I checked through the rear mirror and saw a police car. "Oh for feck sake, that�s all I needed now. I�ll be even later!" I pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police to clear me. Chapter 2 I finally made it to Carlton�s. It has been the place where we all hang out since we were kids. Now that Shane, Kian, and I are about to persue this music career, I�m going to miss this place. As for the road incident, just a warning. Thank gosh because mam wouldn�t be glad if I got meself a ticket. Finally I made it to the door and went in, breathless. Carlton�s on a Monday night is somewhat dead, but tonight was a bit busy. I went to the table that we all used to sit at, but I see a few people taking that booth. Then I saw her, a goddess. Her beautiful long brown hair flowing through her lovely face. She was wearing a navy blue halter top and kakki trousers. That outfit fit perfectly to her body, not too tight, not too loose. I walked closer and closer to the table. I can smell the scent of Tommy Girl getting stronger and stronger as I approach her. Then she turned around and faced me. All of a sudden, a harsh realization hit me. Is that the same girl I grew up with? "Mia, is that you?" I asked her. Then I saw the expression of her face. She seemed very stunned. "Mark?!" She shouted. "Oh my gosh, it�s you!" It is her, the same girl I befriended when I was a child who now turned into this beautiful young lady. She got up and gave me this huge hug to me. I�m so happy that she remembers me because it�s been years since we last saw each other. "It�s been years, how�s ye darlin�?" "Wow!" She pulled away from out embrace. "I�m feeling fine. I thought no one was going to be here. I�ve been here for the past hour. I even ate dinner." She finally sat down. Whoa, her accent changed. It sounds more American, but it�s a cute accent. "Sorry, luv. That banger wouldn�t start." "What?" "That�s mam�s Fiesta out there." I pointed at the car outside. "What happened to it?" Mia asked. "Nothing really, except that it�s just old and well.....crappy." I told her about the car and how I got stopped by the police. She was forgiving and just smiled. "So how�s life in New York?" "It�s alright. Just graduated from high school 3 days ago." She explained to me. "And as a graduation gift, they gave a ticket to come here for 2 weeks." "Well, that�s great. You don�t understand how much we all missed you." Then my phone rang. Just when I really getting into the conversation, my mum calls up. "Hang on a tick." After a few minutes, my full attention is to Mia. "Back, sorry about that. That was me mam on the phone." She accepted my apology. "She just wanted to know if I got here ok in that car. Women, always worrying." "You told her that I�m here?" Mia asked. "Yeh I did. She says hello and please stop by soon." I smiled at her and continued to talk. We waited for a few minutes for the others. Mia told me that Dee and Shane couldn�t make it because she have to babysit her younger brother and couldn�t leave the house. Meanwhile, just when I was about to talk about Kian, he walked in. "Hey Mark." Kian waved to me. Then he stopped for a moment and was in awe when he saw Mia. "Wow, Mia!" He went over and gave her a hug. "Oh hi Ki!" She said with a smile. I kinda figured that she always fancied him. "Long time, no see." He sat on the chair between myself and Mia. "So wot ya been doing with your good self over the states?" She and Kian continued to talk about their lives as I look out the window. How did the rich tomboy became a proper beautiful young woman? I really miss Gemma. I know she�s busy tonight with work but it would be nice to have her like the other night. But as I look at Mia, she�s really beautiful. If I wasn�t with Gemma, maybe...then maybe....nevermind. I have Gem. "Mark?" Mia called me. My mind went back to normal. "Errr yeh?" "You okay?" "Sorry luv. I was just miles away there for a moment." "So, didn�t your boyfriend mind you going here for 2 weeks?" Kian asked Mia. "Actually, I�m single....very single." She said with a smile. She�s not dating anyone? This could be interesting. No wait, I�ve got Gemma. I better not. Thinking about it, I should�ve worn that black tee if I found it. "Mark, Mia, I�ll be right back. Gonna get some drinks at the bar." Kian got up and went to the bar. Wait, Ki! Don�t leave me alone with her. Chapter 3 It�s been 2 minutes since Kian went to the bar to get some drinks, but it�s been an enternity as I look at Mia. Should I tell her about Gemma? It�s not going to bother her. "So dating someone, Mark?" Mia asked. "As a matter of fact, yeh." I feel a bit embarrassed telling her. "Her name is Gemma. We�ve been seeing each other for about 3 months." All of a sudden, I noticed a frown on Mia�s face. Bugger, wish I�d dumped Gemma. I�ve would�ve if I knew she was looking like that. "But don�t worry Mia. It doesn�t mean we still can�t be friends does it?" "We�ve been friends, Mark." Mia said. She sounded a bit hurt. "I mean, nothing really changed between us." "No that�s what I hoped. You�ll really like Gemma, I�m sure." "Of course, Mark." Mia said, softly. "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine." "Well, I�m glad you feel that way. Just worried things would be really awkward. But she�s more that a friend, you know." Whoa, I really blew it. Immediately, she got up and went to the bar. "Where are you going, Mee?" "See if Kian got his drink. I might as well get one as well." She left the table and went to him. Oh no, what should I do? She walked away when I talking about Gemma. I wonder what she�s thinking. (meanwhile at the bar) Kian was taking another shot of tequila when Mia joined him there. "Ahhh, reality is an illusion caused by the lack of alchol! Do you not agree?" Mia put her head down on the bar. "Seemed a bit upset, dear?" "Nah, just thristy." She picked up her head and shouted to the bartender. "Virgin Pi�a, please?" "Virgin Pi�a? Hello, this is Ireland, not Mexico." "Listen Egan, I�m not in the mood for liquior, ok?" Mia got her drink. "Well excuse me." He chuckled for a moment and they just talk about the band. I continued to look at them as they talked about things. I just wonder why does it have to be so hard. Gemma looks good, but what an arse Mia�s got. I just can�t help looking at her, talking and laughing with Kian. Then I noticed her, taking a glimpse of me. Somehow, there was a sad look on her face. And there I felt something as our eyes locked, something I never felt before. Then Kian took that away. Oh, I have to call Gemma up. She�s probably worried. "Hiya, this is Gemma. Leave a message after the tone and I�ll get back at you." That�s Gemma�s answering machine. "Hello Gem." I started saying my message. "It�s me love....dunno where you are or why yer phone�s not on but anyway just wanted to say thanks for Saturday night. It was fab and I loved yer thong darlin�. Anyway, best to go right now. I�m at the Carlton with Kian and an old friend. Hope to talk to ya soon." I hung up and see Kian and Mia walking back to the table. "How long can it take to get some drinks?" "Sorry, just taking some shots." Kian explained as he sat down. "So who were you talking to one the phone?" "Oh, that�s Gemma. She�s probably at work." Then I saw Mia�s face, again feeling sad. Damn, why do I have a girlfriend? "Listen, guys. I have to make a pit stop to the ladies. Be right back." Mia headed to the ladies as I�m left all alone with Kian. Maybe he knows what�s going on. Chapter 4 Ki and I stood there in silence as Mia was in the ladies. All he can do is glare at me, but why? "Will you quit staring at me me like that, Freddy!" Kian shouted "Sorry Egan, there�s no need to shout!" "I�m not shouting!" "Sounds that way to me! So what are you glaring at me like that for?" Then I changed topics. "And isn�t she a babe?" "She�s pretty, yes. But Mark she�s coming. Be nice, okay?" Kian whispered as Mia approached to the table. "Hey guys, miss me?" Mia said as she sat down on the chair between us. "Are you okay, Mia? You were in the loo for sometime." I asked her since I can still see some mascara on her cheek and she�s wiping off. "Yeah, yeah. I�m fine. Just a bit tired." "Must be jetlagged, I bet." "Yeah. I barely slept. So what did you guys talked about while I was gone?" Okay, give her a good excuse. "Nothing really." Mia just rolled her eyes. "So how�s the nightlife in New York?" "It�s alright. Just wish I was 21 already to go in. But there�s a couple I know and they can get a bit wild." "Sound cool. We should come over and see ya sometime." Cool, a night partying in the city that never sleeps with a gorgous babe. Couldn�t get any better. "Wow, I never really realized how much I really lost my accent." "Yeh, Mia. But you never forget yer roots." I smiled at her. I really think that American accent is so cute. "Don't worry, Mark. I never did." All of a sudden, she began to blush. She really look so beautiful when she blushes. I wonder.....what she�d be like in bed. No. I got Gemma. Bet that Mia can�t give me better head than her. Then I noticed Kian spaced out. Ever since talking about New York nightclubs, he�s been in his own little world. "Egan. Earth to Egan!" I waved my hand afront of his face. "Egan, wake up old man. You�re miles away over there." I kicked his shin under the table, hoping he can get out of it. "Hey, don�t do that!" Mia shouted, but laughed. But it was too late. "OW! Wot was THAT for?!" Mia and I just laughed. "Freddy you are so annoying!" "Mark, don�t hurt Kian." Mia suggested. "Haha, Ki gotta have a woman to protect ya now eh mate? Well, it�s all downhill from �ere!" I just love winding Kian up. Hey, if he winds me up all time, then tonight is his turn. "But you love me anyway." "Alrighty, stop acting childish you two!" Mia was trying to break the peace. "Aye, aye mam! Sorry." I gave her a wink. "We�re mature adults, remember?" "You and I might be, Mia. As for Egan, over there," I pointed at him, "nae chance mate!" "I am! Dunno about him." He then snorted. We just continued to laugh. "Oh fuck off!" "Snorting in front of a lady now, are ya? You Egans never cared much for manners!" I look at Mia for her approval. Just noticing her cute laugh...wow she look so beautiful when she does that nose thingy. "Oh shut it, Feehily! I�m not even gonna stoop to your level." "Alrighty! Alrighty!" Mia pushed us away, still laughing. "Really, that�s enough! I�m dying here with this!" She just laughed and laughed. "Ok, ok sorry Mia. I�ll try to refrain from commenting on his complete lack of manners." "It�s okay, Mark. It�s okay." She stared into my blue eyes as I look into her brown ones. I�m feeling the same way I felt a while ago while she and Kian were in the bar. I couldn�t take me eyes away from hers. Oh I want her....I really want her. Finally she spoke again, very softly. "So..." "So..." I finally spoke, in that same tone of voice. I look down and see that my little friend down there is peaking. Oh if only it wasn�t for Gemma, I�d be having her right now in the toilets. Ooh, I would give her the best fuck of her life. "Erm....Mia, Kian, I�ll be right back. Headin� to the loo." "She will but I won�t." Kian replied as he took his jacket. "I�ll see ya later." At that, he left. "Go ahead. I�ll get a desert for myself." "Alright. I�ll be back in a few." Chapter 5 I finally headed back from the loo. What is happening between us? It�s been almost 5 years since we seen each other and I�m lusting over her. Why does she look so beautful? I went to the chair and sat next to her. I never really noticed how beautiful her brown eyes really are. It�s brown with a speck of gold. But she almost looks like she�s on the verge of tears. "So how�s your band doing?" Mia asked. I was more than happy about talking about it. I went on and on about the band and it�s members. I showed her a picture of the band. She thought everyone looked cute. "Wow, Shane changed since the last time I saw him. And the other 2 blondes, well they look like Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys." Mia giggled. "Well, soon we�ll be nicking all their fans." Then she slapped my arm. "Hey, don�t tease my Backies. I like them." The moment she slapped me, I felt so electricfied by her touch. "Still violent as always, aren�t ye?" "Don't mess with a New Yorker!" "Oooh, I�m not sure I wanna find out what�s next then." I pretended to be scared, but all she can do is turn away. "Awww, luv. I don�t mean it like that." I tugged her top to make her turn back around. "I wouldn�t grab that if I were you." Mia warned me as she continues to act stubborn. "Grab what?" I laughed naughtigly. Hope she understand naughty Irish humor, not that I don't mind grabbing a few things on her. Ok, Mark. Stop thinking about how she can be in bed. Think something innocent to talk about. "So.....you recognise good ol Sligo?" "You mean �sleepy Sligo�? To be honest, I forgot most of the city." She sounded more relaxed and in ease. "Except for one major place....my favorite place..." "Which is?" "You know...." She turned around very slowly and smiled at me. "Hazelwoods?" I look at her in awe. I can�t help it of leaning closer to her. Then I whispered in her ear. "Am I right?" "Does this face tell you something?" Mia whispered back. "It�s just that Sligo seems so foregin to me. "Yeh, a lot of things have changed I supposed." I pulled back and look at her. "I know. I mean, I�ve changed." "But some things never does though. Do you fancy a walk in Hazelwoods sometime while you�re here? We could perhaps....I don�t know.....go for a picnic or something?" I just asked her out? What will I tell Gemma? Mia began to blush when I asked her that. "I would love that, Mark." "As friends I mean." I quickly added and she agreed. She said yes! She said yes! "That�s a done deal then, luv. So anyway, sorry to interupt you you were saying you�d changed? Tell me then how have you changed, �cept for the obvious that you�ve grown 5 years older and a lot taller than I remember." Mia began tell me about her life in New York. She didn�t really have loads of friends because she�s always studying. That studying did payed off because this fall, she�s going to Princeton, majoring in psychology. I�m glad that she did very well in school. When we were in school together, she wasn�t all fond of studying. She always play footie and play with the video games. But I knew she was always smart....and damn hot. Then I began to talk about my plans after graduation. When I told her that Ronan Keating was going to be our comanager, she freaked out. I knew she was a Boyzone fan, but never thought she was that crazy. I do admit, her skin is very soft when I was trying to calm her down. All I can do is smile at her. "It�s about time you looked at me like that." Mia whispered out loud. "Pardon?" "Oooh nothing. Nothing at all. Just said that you still have my old hat." I didn�t believe her. I thought she said that it was about time that I looked at her that way. But she couldn�t have...nope, I must be kidding myself. "I still have that hat. Gave that hat to Colin." "I�m thankful that I left here because if I didn�t, I would�ve never experienced the world." Mia said, very fondly. "There�s so many cultures living there and it made me open my eyes a bit. I know when you become famous, you�ll feel the same." "I might get a bit homesick, but that�s something I�m looking forward to." I held her hand once again and looked at her. "You know, I never really told you this. But I always dreamed one day...and please don�t tell anyone about this." "I promise. My lips are sealed." I promised her that, wishing they could be sealed with a kiss from her. "I�ve always dreamed of settling down in County Clare, right by the Cliffs. I always thought that place was so romantic." She said that, dreamly. I do agree with her on that. Going there does give you a great calm. "Just too bad I�ve never really met that special someone." "But you will. Mia, you�re 18. You�re still young, there�s still time." "I know. It�s just that I haven�t really dated anyone and just thought that the reason why they never went anything more is because I�m ugly." Mia turned away, embarrassed. Ugly? Gosh, American guys must be either blind or stupid or even both to let this one slip through their fingers. How can any man deny those brown eyes? Those silky long brown tresses? That perfect body that any man would dreamed their women to have? I should just tell her how good she looked. But wait, there�s Gemma. Guess I have to say more in a friendly way. "Erm....Mia. You�re not ugly. As a matter of fact, you�re quite.....nice." I began to blush. "Thank you, Mark." She said, softly. "You�re welcome." I flashed her a nice smile and she did the same. "Mark?" "Yeh Mia?" More and more, I�m becoming more breathless by looking at her. Something about me just wants her. "Let�s get out of here. This place is getting a bit quiet. How about a walk?" "Yeh sure we can ... if you want we can walk down to The Belfry for a pint ?" I suggested. "Thanks, but can we just laid off the alochol for tonight?" "Gee Mia, you've definitely forgotten your Irish roots." How can I survive a night without a pint? But let�s see, a pint or spending time with Mia? Forget the Guinness. "No it�s not like that. It�s just I don't want ya to do something you might regret later on." Oohhhh, she�s thinking about my safety. That�s just sweet. Gemma ususally let me do what ever I want, but I know that Mia worries about things. Besides, I don�t think she wants me to be all drunk on her first day back. "Yeh sure we can ... it was just a suggestion ... don't worry about it ... we'll just take a stroll down to O'Connell St then yeh?" "Alrighty." "Erm ok thanks luv." I got up and walked aroung to hold out her chair. "Whoa, a perfect gentleman." She smiled as she got up. I helped her put on her black cardigan coat and smiled at her. "Hey it might be June, but you never know with Irish weather ... as we say the Irish are one big happy family in the shower together." "It�s not going to rain, Mark. So don�t worry." We headed to the exit and we said our goodbye to Shane�s mum. As we approached the door, I gently held her hand and smiled. Chapter 6 For the next hour, we walked around and just talked. It was great that we talked. It�s like she never left here....or me. We just hold hands like we were like a couple....and that scares me. I have a girlfriend and shouldn�t do that. Then I saw it through the mirror. Us, hand and hand like a couple. I finally let go, hoping no one saw us together. What if someone tells Gemma that I�m with another girl? Well Mia isn�t just any girl, but my good friend that I haven�t seen in 5 long years. "Sorry Mia but my hands were getting cold." I apologized. "It�s alright. It is cold out there. Just thought it would be warmer." Mia, just like me, put her hands on her pocket. "You�re probably thinking about Gemma." "Erm....yeh I was actually." Can�t believe I�m lying to her because I�m really thinking about her. But I continued to lie to her. "Just wondering what she�s doing." Her face was back to it was earlier, very depressed. "Come on, don�t tell me there�s not a special someone on your mind tonight." I stopped and look at her inquiringly. We looked at each other for a moment and I noticed the tears in her eyes. Suddenly, she began to run away. "Mia! Oi, Mia! Wait up!" I ran after her, hoping to catch up with her. Why is she running away from me? And how did I made her cry? "Mia! Wait up for a moment!" I finally caught her with her sleeve. "Don�t touch me!" Mia cried. "Don�t touch me!" She continued to cry. "Oh Mia....love...." I turned her around and hug her tightly. "Don�t cry please. Please luv, don�t cry. If you don�t want to tell me, it�s ok. I�m sorry I asked." I just continued to hold her as her sobs calmed down. Then I pulled back a bit to able to look at her face. I can see the hurt in her eyes, but why is she feeling this way. "What�s the matter? Tell uncle Mark." "Uncle Mark?" She scoffs and continues to cry softly. "Just a figure of speech." I chuckled a bit before wiping the tears off her eyes. "Just please tell me what�s the matter? We can solve this. I�ll help you." "I don't think you can�t, Mark." She whispered. "Then try me." "I just can't. It's impossible for you to understand." "How can you know when you don�t give me a chance." Then I figured it out. "Look Mia, we�ve been apart so long. I�m no longer the Marcus you used to know, just like you�re not the same Mia I used to know." "In a way, yeah you�re right." I feel better that we can now solve this. "It�s been 5 years since we�ve seen each other and I really missed you. I know we�re different and tonight I feel a little overwhlemed. But Mark, that�s not it." "Then what is it?" Mia began to step 2 steps back and looked away from me. Then I heard something that stunned me. "Mark, I love you." She then ran away again. I ran again, trying to catch up with her. Oh my gawd! So that�s why she feels odd this evening. "Mia! Mia, wait!" I shouted before I tripped and fell over the kerb. "Shit! Mia!" She looked back and ran back to me. "Mark, are you ok?" She called out as she ran back and as I tried to get up. I brushed my clothes and noticed that my leg is alright. "Are you ok?" I look up at her, concerned yet scared. "I heard what you said." I whispered. She was ready to run away again but I grabbed her wrists and sway her dangerously. "Mark, let me go! Stop!" She shouted. "Then promise me you won�t run again. I can�t run after you this time. And even if this is Sligo, County Sligo, Northwest Ireland, it's not a place for a lass to be out on her own after midnight. "Mark Feehily, what do you want from me?!" Mia shouted to me. "Mia Caffrey, I don�t know." I took a deep breath, knowing she�s still hurting. But I think it�s time to tell her how I feel. "I came into that cafe tonight, thinking it'd be a fun night out with an old friend. But when I saw you, I don't know something just ... clicked." I reached down and caress her cheek and look straight into her brown eyes. "You�re so....so beautiful....and I wish......right now I wish....I wish there was no Gemma in my life. No strings." Mia began to cry once again. "Mia, I might seem straightforward to you, but I�m telling you if there was no Gemma, I�d be kissing you just about now." I lean closer to her, hoping I can finally kiss her, but she stopped me. "Mark?" Mia turned away and looked down the ground. "Yeh Mia?" I leaned yet closer and put my hand up to try and turn her face back. I noticed she was shivering. But I don�t know if it from my touch or the cool June evening. "Mia, please tell me. What�s on your mind? Why are you holding back? I just told you .... how I .... how I .... feel." "Because...because...I know you'll never feel the same way I feel." "How do you feel, Mia? Maybe I'd want to feel the same but won't let myself because I have ... well ... obligations." "Mark," Mia started, "Mark....I�ve....been in love with you since I could remember. And I know that you'll hate me cuz I've told you how I feel. So if you don't ever wanna speak to me ever again, it's ok." She turned away and cried. I just froze at the moment. And I thought these things happen in American soaps. She�s been in love with me for a long time? But I thought she liked Kian or Shane, not me. I humped around to face her. "Mia, I.....I....I don't know errr I don't know what to say...I can't ... I mean I have ... I mean Gemma ... and you're ... in the US and I'm ... here .... and my career we're just starting out ... and ... oh god I want to kiss you." "But you don�t want me because of her." She look down at the floor, embarrassed. "I knew it! You don�t really want me. You have no idea how long I kept this from you. I�ve been loving you since the moment we met and it hasn�t changed. Now I think this was such a mistake. You�ve only seen me as your sidekick, your friend. Nothing else." She just couldn�t hold it anymore and cried. "Mia....Mee look at me." I plead to her. "Please love." At that, she finally looked up. "Look ... this is all very difficult for me. You come back, looking like you do all grown up and hot and everything ... and I think wow what a babe she's grown into, but Mia, I don't know you. I don't know what you're really about. And you don't know me ... don't know what I'm about ... what things are on my mind. It's not about not wanting you ... it's about whether or not we have time to .... well to get to know each other well enough." "But Mark, you have 13 years to know me before I left." "I know. I could kiss you right here and ask you to come home with me ... and trust me I'd love that ... every minute of it ... but it wouldn't be right ... not for you. We were just kids then ... it's all changed, everything changes ... we're not little kids anymore." "You know what Mark, I wished I've never known you!" Oh gawd I really did it big time. How can I act such a prick? "Oh Mia, don�t say that." I called onto her, but she began to walk away once again. "Mia, wait up. Mia!" I tried to hump after her, but it wasn�t working. "Mia, come back do you even know where you're going." "Away!" She shouted. "Away from you." "But we can solve this, Mia. Don�t be daft, come back here. MIA!" I saw her about to cross the street, but a car was coming. Thank goodness the car didn�t hit her. "MARK, I CAME ALL THE WAY HERE ONLY FOR YOU! And you don't called that fair!" She shouted with anger. "I�m giving up my summer vacation, hoping that there might be a chance for us." "But what do you expect me to do ?? Just up and leave my friends? Just break up with my girlfriend of 3 months to have 2 weeks with you?" I asked as I finally came face to face with her. "No." She said softly. "No. I just want you to be honest with me about your feelings. Please tell me, and don�t just say that you like because of my looks." She looked up and waited. All of a sudden, all those feelings I had a few years ago came back to me again. I remembered how much I cared about her. "Mia, I liked you. I've always liked you." I gently held her in my arms. "Always thought there was a special glow to you. But you took my love and tore it apart ... moved to the US ... left me here." She continues to look at me, stunned. "I know it was your parents moving and you had no choice but oh Mia, if only you'd have stayed things could've been so different." I leaned down, trying to kiss her but she moved her cheek and kiss me on my cheek. "I wish things could be different. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear." "Mark, don't tell me what you want me to hear. Tell me what's in your heart." "I just need to .... well we need to .... we need to get to know each other better .... to..." My head just shook in despair. I couldn�t believe I�m telling her this. "to catch up ... give it time ... see where we go where it takes us." "Is this what you really feel?" Mia asked. "I don't know what I feel. Maybe we should ... maybe we should go home and sleep on it and I could give you a ring tomorrow ... and errr I don't know." I put my pointer finger under her chin and force her to look at me. "I'm sorry love but this isn't easy for me ... just as it's not easy for you ... I'm sorry I hurt you ... come let me take you back and it'll all look different in the morning I'm sure." "Yeh, I agree. You know where my grandmother live?" "How can I forget? 14 Dromahair Rd isn't it ?" "You remembered. Let�s go." "Alright. Come on let's go then." We walked to my car. I opened the door for her to go in, then I got in. The car started without trouble and we drove off to her place. Why I feel like a prick? Chapter 7 The ride back to Mia�s was long. The silence even made it longer. All I know is that I really hurt her. I mean, why didn�t I just kiss her and drag her home to bed. That would be so less complicated and Gemma doesn�t have to know. But I just can�t do that to Mia, as much as I want her. I played with the radio dial, hoping something that can end the silence. There was nothing on so I turned it off. Then I got an idea. "Mia, you want to hear our song?" I asked. All she can do is nod no. Gosh, she hates me now. But I so wanted her to hear me sing....to hear what I�m about....what part of my life is about. "Actually," Mia finally spoke, "I don�t want to hear it off the radio. I want you to sing it right now." She then looked at me. "What? Oh you want me to sing? Now? Here?" She just nod, waiting for me to sing. "Erm....ok. But I'm not very good at remembering Shane's part." "It�s ok. Just try your best. You�re only singing to me, not a bunch of fans." "Ready,then?" I clear my throat and gets ready. "And sorry if I'm off key. Iit's kinda late and I've not warmed up or anything." I finally took a deep breath and slowly comes out is my husky voice. I wanna know Who ever told you I was letting go Of the only joy that I have ever known Girl they were lying Just look around And all of the people that we used to know.... As I continued to sing, I noticed Mia just looking at me, very proud. I can�t just drive, sing, and look at her at the same time. So I pulled over at the kerb and paid attention to her and my singing. So you should know this love we shared Was never made to die I'm glad we're on this one way street Just you and I, just you and I I'm never gonna say goodbye Cause I never wanna see you cry I swore to you my love would remain And I'd swear it all over again and I I'm never gonna treat you bad Cause I never wanna see you sad I swore to share your joys and your pain And I'd swear it all over again.... "Mark, that�s beautiful." Mia interupted me. "You and the others are really going to be big." "Thank you. It was Shane's part, but I don't think I had too many bloopers." "But you�re perfect." She leaned over and kiss me on the cheek. "No Mia... No I'm not ... far from ...." I noticed that she was crying while I was singing. "If I was perfect you wouldn't be here crying ... I'm not perfect ... no ..." "Don�t worry, Mark. It is. If it wasn�t, it wouldn�t affect me as it already did." As Mia continued to look at me, I turned away, hoping she wouldn�t see my tears. Then I finally got off the kerb and drive back to her place. Chapter 8 "Here you are, milady." We finally arrived at her gran�s home near to the county line. Out of all of us, she lives very far away from the city. Thank goodness she lives very close to me, since Hazenwoods was only 10 minutes away from where she lives. I got out of the car and helped her out. We walked to her door through the rose bushes. I�ve always loved her home, a place one day I would love to have. Her gran�s home is like a estate. Her family comes from a wealthy aristicratic line, maybe royal but I don�t think so. Sometimes, I look at her and wonder how a girl like her comes from a family like that. But I do admire her originallity from the other rich girls living around here. We finally at the door about to say good night. But I really don�t want to. "Listen, I�ll give you a ring tomorrow about the picnic and about ... well everything ." "Mark?" "No, no thank you and Mia ..." I look staight into her eyes, still seeing all that pain that I caused her. "I know I�m not suppose to do this...but...." "Do what?" She slowly leaned up and our lips lightly touched. Something inside of me was feeling very powerful and I just can�t deny my feelings towards her. But I also see Gemma. Sadly, I have to pull away. "This is wrong ... I'm sorry ... we have to ... no ... please ... please understand ... I can't ... I mean it's not that I don't want to it's just that ... Gemma ... I ...I can't." "You don�t need to apologize. I�m really sorry." "It�s ok." All I can do is turn away and look straight ahead. "Now go in and get to bed and I'll ring you in the morning. I'm sure everything will look different then somehow." "Ok, Mark. Good night." She reached for her car keys and opened the door. "Good night, Mia. Oiche mhaith as we say." "Or bunne nuit in French." She finally walked in. "Ciao cara." She closed the door and I walked back to the car. What a long night. I hurt the one person I never thought of hurting. I like Gemma. But I like Mia too. This is really hard. I don't know how I feel anymore. Then I turned on the engine and drive back home, in tears. Chapter 9 What really happened last night? Was I dreaming or did Mia told me she loves me? But why after all this time though? She knows I�ve been dating someone for a while. Why did she put me in that position? "Mark!" Mam called from the living room. "Yeh mam?" I called back. "Can you please take Snoopy out for a walk?" Oh, Snoopy. It�s my day to take him out. I went downstairs and picked up my dog. Gosh, Snoopy is getting bigger...and seemed desperate for some relief. I may love him to bits, but I just hate cleaning after him. We went to our usual spot when I take him out for a walk. Good thing today is a nice day, warmer than yesterday. Yesterday. What happened? Everything was going great. Great family. Great friends. Good paying job at the pizza place. Sultry girlfriend. And then she came back. (flashback to last night) "Mark, let me go! Stop!" Mia shouted as she was trying to get away from me. All I can do is hang on to her. "Then promise me you won�t run again. I can�t run after you this time. And even if this is Sligo, County Sligo, Northwester Ireland, it�s not a place for a lass to be out on her own after midnight!" "Mark Feehily, what do you want from me?" "Mia Caffrey...I don�t know. I came into that cafe tonight, thinking it�d be a fun night out with an old friend. But when I saw you, I don�t know, something just.... clicked. You�re so....so....beautiful.....and I wish.....right now....I wish there was no Gemma in my life. No strings. Mia, I might seem straightforward to you, but I�m telling you if there was no Gemma, I�d be kissing you just about now." "Mark?" "Yeh Mia? Mia, please tell me. What�s on your mind? Why are you holding back? I just told you how I....how I.....feel." "Because.....because...I know you�ll never feel the same way I feel." "How do you feel, Mia? Maybe I�d want to feel the same, but won�t let myself because I have....well....obligations." "Mark....Mark....I�ve been in love with you....." (back to now) Mia is in love with me? This is just hard to believe. A girl like her usually goes for lads like Kian and Shane, not me. I looked down at Snoopy. He seemed to be more relived after doing what he had to do. I just sat down on the ground of my favorite spot here in Hazelwoods. This place brings me back memories when Mia and I were wee little children, when we were just there for each other. Chapter 10 (5 years ago: 1993) Gawd, why class is a bunch of rubbish? I wish school will end soon so I can go to holiday. Hey at least everyone is staying here. I�m going to France! I�m going to France! I finally reached my favorite spot at Hazelwoods, when I saw someone alone. Then I heard this mysterious humming. I can tell that innocent voice from far away. Mia had this purity and innocence when she hums. I was shocked that she can sing or carry a tune like that, knowing she�s always one of the lads. I think the girl within her is finally coming out. I knew deep down she was lovely and sweet, behind the tough and athletic lass. "Mia?" I whispered as I approached to her. "Sorry to interrupt." "Mark, what are you doing here?" Mia turned away, wiping away her tears. "Nothing. Just came here to hang out." I sat beside her. It was a weird feeling this time. Usually, we can talk about how much we hate school and play footie. But today was different. "What�s wrong, Mee?" "Oh, nothing." She tried to act normal, but it wasn�t working. "Everything." She did not held her tears back. I�ve only seen her cried before. It was at her grandpa�s funeral 2 years earlier. "Come here." I leaned over and gave her a hug. "You can tell me. You tell me everything, remember? Did Kian did anything to you?" I asked because I knew she and Kian were seeing each other for sometime in a more friendlier way. "No, it�s not about him." She finally looked up. "I�m moving away." "WHAT? You�re moving?" I got up and just stood still. "Where?" "New York." "New York City? But you can�t." I protested to her, but she was helpless. "My step-da works at the UN in New York. He just couldn�t refuse." "When are you leaving?" I asked, trying to hold back my tears. "In 3 weeks. Oh Mark, I don�t want to leave here. This is my home." "I know. You can�t leave me. You can�t because I...like you. I really like you." I thought in my mind. There I realized that I�m losing the love of young life. But that�s just my mind. She doesn�t fancy me. She fancies Kian. Kian�s more popular and me, just a simple country lad. "Oh I�m going to miss you." Mia reached over and hugged me again. "I�m going to miss you too..." (back to the present) My memories of that day was snapped by my mobile phone. Damn phone. Breaking away from my thoughts of Mia. "Hello?" "Hiya, baby!" Another familiar voice ringed through my ears. "Gemma?" "No, Madonna. Yeh, it�s me." Gemma giggled through her phone. "Baby, hi. How are ye?" "Nothing much. I�m on break right now." She works at hospital as an young assistant. She knows how to cheer up patients, especially a lad like me. "Gosh, this job worn you up." "So are you busy later?" "No, sorry. I still gotta work. Can�t disappoint them." Gemma said, sadly. I know she wants me, but can�t. "Ohhh, well, I�ll speak to you later. Have something to take care of." "Me too. And baby?" "Yeh?" "When we see each other again, my tiny drippin friend is wait for your big sausage." Gemma said, naughtligly. "You are one mad, horny lass!" I laughed at her horny comment. "Gotta go See ya, baby." "Ditto." At that, she hung up. "Come on, Snoopy. Mam will be worried." As I got up, I saw a little silver necklace on the ground. I didn�t recognize it at first. But when I saw the little crucifix with a diamond on the center, I knew who�s that necklace belongs to. "She was here?" I whispered. Chapter 11 Snoopy and I walked back to the house, with Mia�s necklace on my pocket. I knew sooner or later I have to talk to her. Why does Mia have to look so beautiful? Why can�t we meet before I was with Gemma? Most of all, why did I really broke her heart? All those things was still ringing in my head as I walked in. I let Snoopy go back to his little place as I sat in the living room, watching "Roseanne". "Hiya, Markie." The little brat, known as my little brother Colin said as he sat next to me. "I need help on something." "What is it, bro?" "Can you tell who is this, the one in the light blue?" Colin showed me this little picture of me and the gang when we were 12. "Is she your girlfriend?" I remembered that picture. It was at Mia�s mother�s wedding. You see, her father died when she was 4. After that, her Italian-born mom, Adriana, remarried a Spanish diplomat. It was one of our last pictures together because soon after that, she and her parents moved to New York. But I do admit, Mia did look great in that dress. "Mark, is that your girlfriend?" "Colin, that�s Mia. She�s not my girlfriend." I explained to him. "She maybe my best friend and my date at the wedding, but she isn�t my girlfriend at that time." "Awww, Mark is gushing over Mia again." Barry walked in, teasing me about me and Mia. I know that Colin didn�t remember but I know for sure Barry did. "Scram, ye eejit." "Mark, don�t call yer brother an eejit!" Dad shouted. "Sorry, sham." I then turned back to my younger brother. "Where did you find this?" "On that photo album." Colin pointed the photo album on the top cabinet. Then mam walked in. "Mark, sweetie, are you busy?" Mam asked, sitting down next to Colin on the couch. "No, why?" "Can you pay a visit to the Cafferys? Its just that Mrs. Caffery kept telling me that something is wrong there." Mam seemed worried. "What happened there?" I was stunned, hoping nothing happened to Mia. "She said that Mia was not herself and thinks that you might be the solution." Mam then continued. "She said that Mia was sad and depressed over something. Since you and her are very close, Mrs. Caffery thinks you can cheer her up." "Mam, where�s the keys?" I got up and grabbed my jacket, hoping it isn�t too late. Chapter 12 (Mia�s pov) This is just too depressing. Why did I ever tell him how I feel? I know he�s got a girlfriend. Why would a guy like him go for a girl like me? Mark always see me as a friend, nothing more or less. I rather stay like this, curled up in my bed, than ever seeing him again. It�s just too heartbreaking to see him again. "Mia, are you there?" Kian knocked on the door and shouted. "Kian?" I got up and answered the door. "What are you doing here?" "Hi! May I?" He pointed to the room. "Sure. It�s not like you never been inside my room." I escorted Kian into my room. I lay back to my bed as he sat on the computer chair. "Sorry I look like a mess." "It�s alright. So how are you?" "Tired....drained." "So how did it go last night after I left?" Kian asked. All I can do is cry. "Wrong question to ask." "I told him." "Oi me gawd, it�s about damn time you told him." He came to my bed and snuggled next to me. "I�m proud of ya. I know it takes loads of courage to tell someone how you really feel." "But he�s taken, Kian." I got up and looked at him. "He�s with that Gemma girl for some time now." "Mark, serious with Gemma? Hello, he�s been with her for only 3 months." He kept on rubbing my shoulders. I continued to tell him what happened last night. I told him that he asked me out to Hazelwoods. I told him that he kept talking about Gemma and how I just broke down. I told him what I said and his response to it. Kian was a little stunned when I told him that if I never left Sligo, we would�ve been together now. Then I told him about the small, soft kiss I gave Mark and how he pushed me away. "You kissed him?" Kian asked, acting very stunned. I nodded. "And Mark Feehily pushed you away?" I nodded once more, this time trying to not to cry. "Whoa, that�s tough. Oh Mia, I should�ve never encouraged you to tell him." He gave me a tight hug, squeezing my circulation. "Oh, I can�t breathe." I was suffocating in his hug. Kian soften his grip, but continues to hug. "I feel your pain, Mee. It�s very obvious that you love him." "That�s why I�m going home early. There�s no point staying here." I faced Kian again, in tears. "Going home early? Come on! Don�t let that prick damage your holiday? Hang out with me or the others. Maybe you can go riding with Shane like you used to do." Ki suggested. "I�ll be right back, ok?" I got up and went to the bathroom down the hall. I sat on the closed toilet stool and just cried. Those tears wouldn�t go away. Then I heard a knock again. "Mia? Everything�s ok in there?" Kian asked, with concern. "Please come out. It will only get better if we talk." "I waited most of my life for him and all he can say is it�s best that we remain friends?" I shouted so loud that it echoed throughout the bathroom. I took some tissue paper and opened the door. "I even saved myself for him." I told him very softly. "You did?" Kian was very surprised to find out my little secret. "Whoa, I wish a girl would do that for me. Wait....did you just said that you�re a virgin?!" I nodded yes to his question. "Wow!" "You know, we can continue this in my room." I pointed to my door. "I don�t think Gran would love to hear things about sex under her roof." We walked back to my room and sat on the same places before I went to the bathroom. "Going back to the whole Mark situation, at least he knows now. You can at least move on from here." "Yeh....but at least I didn�t mentioned the virgin part." I look at Kian, and then something was popping up in his jeans. "Why is your little friend trying to wake up?" I pointed to his jeans. "Oh sorry." Kian covered his middle and blushed. "You and your naughty thoughts." I laughed. "You never changed, didn�t you, horn dog?" "No one can make me blush, but you can. Why?" He continued to blush like a tomato. "Because you were my first kiss." "Aww, I remembered that. But remember, that was spin the bottle. And you liked it." "I only liked it because I was thinking of him while I was kissing you." I started to giggle. "What?" Kian got up. "You thought of Feehily while kissing yours truly?" "I�m kidding." "I hope so....for you." I got up and pinched his arm. "Owww! You�re so violent, babe!" "Sorry." I laughed for a moment before turning serious. "But I did wish that he didn�t have to see that." "Yeh. He looked kinda depressed afterwards." I was stunned when Kian said that. "What? Why didn�t you tell me?" "Well, I thought you had a crush on me back then. So I didn�t think it were important." Kian sat back at the chair. "You still should�ve told me. Besides, I wasn�t worthy to look at. I�m still ugly." "Mia, you need your head check. To be honest with you, you are gorgeous!" He shouted. "Come on, look yourself in the mirror." He pulled me to the mirror towards my closet. "Right there in front of you, is a beautiful young lady. All that beauty came within and just bloomed to the exterior." "Kian, I�m not pretty." I looked away from the mirror. "Tell me one thing that makes you believe that you�re not pretty?" "I don�t look like Mariah Carey or Pamela Anderson. That�s what men want and I�m far from it. I�m just not interesting, just ol� me." "Mia, those girls are crap, let alone interesting." He pulled me to the mirror again. "Ok, Pam Anderson is hot and got big tits, but that�s beside the point." "See, I look like shit." "Mia, you never looked like shit. I love looking at beautiful ladies like you." He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "Oh, nice pick-up line." I rolled my eyes. "Probably doing that with all the ladies." "That wasn�t a pick-up line. I�m just being honest. Can�t believe you�re better looking than me." "Hello, I was in the woods most of the day. I�m full of dirt and haven�t showered." I opened my left arm and smelled myself. Eww, I really need one. "How about this, go take a shower and get yourself cleaned." Kian handed me a towel. "I could help you." "You help me? Dream on, Egan." I touched my neck but found out my necklace isn�t there. "Oh my gosh." "What is it, Caffery?" Kian asked. "My necklace. Where�s my necklace?" I went to the floor and looked for it. "Oh god, where did you lose it?" Chapter 13 (back to Mark�s pov) Finally made it to 14 Drombair Road. I hope Mia doesn�t do anything she might regret. I walked to the front door, hoping she would answer. But it was her Gran who answered. Aoife Lynch Caffery was one generous woman. She�s very kind to everyone here and I see her as another grandmother to me. Her and Mia are very close, even after Mia�s father died a long time ago. Aoife and Mia�s mother, Adriana, are also close, despite that she remarried. "Marcus, you�re here." Aoife said, cheerfully. "It�s been a while since I�ve seen you. Come in." I walked into the home. The house hasn�t changed since the last time I was here, which was 3 months ago. After Mia moved, I helped Mrs. Caffery with the lawn and around the house. The two of us spend hours talking about everything, from world politics to my dreams of being a professional singer to even what was going on with Mia in New York. Like I said, she was like another Gran to me. But recently, I was spending so much time with Gemma, that I have no time to visit her. "You know what was going on with Mia?" I asked. "I don�t know." Mrs. Caffery sat down on her chair. "I called her for breakfast, but she didn�t want to eat. She even walked out of the house in her pajamas and didn�t return until just a while ago. She didn�t want to eat supper." She leaned forward and held my hand. "Marcus, you are her dearest friend. Talk to her." I felt weird now. How can I tell Mia�s gran that the reason she was acting like this is because of me? I feel very ashamed that I was the one who broke her heart. "You know where she is?" I asked. "Upstairs. Just be sensible to her feelings, ok? She seemed very fragile." I walked up the stairs, thinking what to say to her when I see her. What should I do? I�m dating someone, but having these strong feelings for someone else, someone who I haven�t seen in over 5 years. At least I have that necklace so we can start a conversation. As I reached for the door, I heard some noise. "That wasn�t a pick-up line. I�m just being honest. Can�t believe you�re better looking than me." Kian said through the door. Kian�s here? "Hello, I was in the woods most of the day. I�m full of dirt and haven�t showered." That was Mia. She seemed to be cheered up by him. Guess she wouldn�t need my services. "How about this, go take a shower and get yourself cleaned. I could help you." "You help me? Dream on, Egan. Oh my gosh." "What is it, Caffery?" Kian asked. "My necklace. Where�s my necklace?" "Oh god, where did you lose it?" I took out the necklace and looked at it. Then I knocked. Chapter 14 "Mia? Mia? Are you there?" I shouted as I knocked again. "Who is it?" Kian asked. "Kian? It�s me." I replied. Then I heard a shriek in the room. "Mark, what you want?" "I need to talk to Mia. Is she in there?" "I don't think she wants to talk really." "Mrs. Caffery called my mam and said something was wrong. I really need to talk to her, please Ki?" "GO AWAY!" Mia shouted from inside. "Mia, you�re in there?" "Mia, let him in. You two need to talk." Kian suggested. "But I can�t find my necklace!" Mia shouted as she continues to look for it. "Mia, let me in, please. I think I have your necklace. Listen, we need to talk and sort this, please?" I opened the door and only see Kian there. "Mee, I can go and...ohh. Hiya Feehily." Kian was stunned that I walked in. "Hi." I turned my attention to find Mia. "I have it Mee. Have you been to Hazelwoods today? I went for a walk....needed to think." Slowly, Mia got up from the floor. Oh my gawd, she looks terrible. What have I done? "Listen, Kian, I don�t wanna send you away. I should leave. Talk to you, Mia?" I handed her the necklace and headed to the door. "Mark, wait!" Mia cried out. "Yeh." I spin quickly back to her. "Thank you." She turned away and grabbed her towel. "May you guys excuse me for a bit, please?" "Alright." Kian and I said at the same time. Chapter 15 "What�s wrong with her, you know?" I asked Kian as I sat on her bed. "I�m afraid it�s something to do with me." "You and her need to talk. Well, you know what it is anyway." "Yeh I know, but....what do I do about it? I really need advice man. This is like....a mess....such a mess." "Mark, how come you were so cruel when she took all her courage to tell you about her feelings last night?" Kian shouted at me. "I wasn�t cruel, Kinno." I defended myself on that. "How could I tell her what she wants to hear when there�s Gemma in my life?" "Gemma, Gemma, GEMMA!" Kian got up and shouted more. "That�s all you talk about. You don�t realize what that lass is doing to you. I still think she�s up to something." "Gemma is a sweetheart. I like her." "But what about Mia, your first love! To be honest with you, I respect her more for being open about her feelings." "But I feel like I�m gonna betray one of them, regardless of what I do." "Did you know she�s still a virgin because of you?" "She is what because of me?" I shouted back. "Oh gawd no! Tell me you�re joking?" And here I was thinking about having a quick shag, an affair just for the two weeks she�s here. There goes that idea buh-bye. "I�m telling ye, she�s been in love with you for 13 years. And I know you cared for her for that long too. Don�t fight it." "I sorta figured as much last night and Ki mate, she�s a beautiful girl and I do have feelings for her, but what do I do about Gemma? I mean, how can I not fight it when it�s Gemma I�m going out with? And gawd knows I love her. I love them both." I shook my head in despair. I don�t know who I really love. Gemma and I always have a laugh and Mia...well she�s special to me too. "Personally, if I would choose Mia over Gemma. I don�t really like that Gemma Moran a bit. But it�s all up to you." Kian suggested. "I still wondered why you don�t like her." Then I heard a knock. "May I come in?" Mia said through the door. "As long as you�re decent." Kian joked. Mia walked in, all freshened up. "Hey, Mia." I looked down, blushing. Just her presence alone makes me blush. "So I miss anything?" She went to the bureau and puts on her necklace. "No. We were just talking about our plans with the band, right Feehily?" As Kian tried to cover-up what we were really talking about, I couldn�t help looking at her. She was now wearing a yellow Tweety tank top with matching pajama shorts. I have to admit that those shorts does something for that nice arse of hers. "Oh Mark?" Mia turned back and looked back at me. Guess I have to snap out of it. "Thanks for the necklace. This necklace is an heirloom and it means a lot to me. So thank you." "You�re welcome." I look at her, then my eyes were on her breasts. I wanna feel them. Wait, I can�t. I got Gemma....and she�s a virgin. "So Kian, contacted Ronan? Kian? Kian?" I noticed Kian zoned out once again. This time, he was staring at Mia�s arse. "Ooh I would love to feel that arse. Mmmm." Kian thought internally while he stared at her bum. Then Mia turned around and pinched his arm. "Oww! Not again." All I can do is laughed at that. "Kian, stop looking at the lady�s arse and wake up!" My laughs are getting more hysterical by the minute. "You know it isn�t nice to look at your friend�s butt." Mia added to the laughter. "Who? Me?" Kian turned over and blushed. "Well, would ya look at him....Kian, you banging wherder." "Hey shut up! I was trying to find an ugly part of her body, but her bum is perfectly fine." Kian explained. I so agree with him. If only I could say that to her too, in the privacy of her bedroom. "Well thank you." Mia turned around and blushed. "Stop making her blush, will you Ki? You�re embarrassing her...and yourself. What would that girl you�re now dating, what�s her name...oh yeah Maureen say if she heard?" "Guys, I have to go back to the bathroom. Be right back." Mia ran back to the bathroom. That leaves me and Ki to decide what to do with the situation. Chapter 16 "Did I say anything wrong?" Kian asked as he sat down on the computer chair. "Yeh, you idiot. What are you doing paying her compliments like that? Just back off mate, as if there wasn�t enough trouble around here already." "Well, sorry Freddy." He got up and paced around. "But Mia thinks she�s ugly which she�s not." "I know she�s not, Egan." I sighed as I sat back down on the bed. "Feck, this is all such a mess." "So what are you gonna do now because you better think of something very quickly." "I don't know, Egan. It was all so simple until she arrived back here. I mean....me and Gemma...together. And now....I don�t know anymore." Kian nodded meaning he agrees with me. "She�s just....too good to be true, too good to miss out on more like it." "Mark, you just need to talk to her about it." He suggested once again. "Yeh I know, but what do I say?" I heard Mia walk in back to her room. "Hey, guys." Mia went back to her bed as I stared at the floor. "So, finished powdering yer nose?" I asked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. "Isn�t that why ye lasses are forever running to the ladies, to powder yer noses?" "Ahh, shut up!" Mia giggled as she pinched me arm. As I got up, an electrified, burning feeling overcame me throughout my arm. "Yeh, pinch him, Caffery!" Kian chanted. "Give him what he deserves!" "Oh sod it, Egan! I was trying to crack a joke, but you being as thick as you are, obviously don�t get it." "I am not thick, Mark." Ki spit back, but suddenly smiled when he noticed my goosebumps on the arm Mia pinched me. "Yes you are, Egan. That�s a well known fact around here." I laughed, then turned around to face Mia. I stepped one step closer to her, only for her to turn away. I took another step towards her and is now behind her. Her scent is so intoxicating, I would just die right here, right now. If only I can touch her, feel her, ...tell her. "I should get going." Kian walked towards the door, loving the sight that is afront of him. "Need to talk to Shane about the band." "Ok." I whispered as I continued to feel Mia�s presence in front of me. "I�ll call you later, Kian." Mia whispered too, enjoying the fact that I was behind her. "Bye." Kian left the room and closed the door, leaving us alone. Chapter 17 We stood in silence of a few more minutes. I just couldn�t let go the feeling of being so close to her, that closest since she kissed me last night. If this was the perfect opportunity to say anything, it was now. "So....how�s your knee?" Mia finally spoke, unable to face me. "Did it heal since last night?" "Yeh, Mia. Got a wee little bruise but I�ll live." I finally sat down on her bed, which was behind me. I couldn�t take me eyes of her body. How her hair flows around her neck. How her clothes fit perfectly to that beautiful body. And that arse....you know what I think of it. "You know, you can face me." Slowly, she turned around and faced me. I can literally see through her. I can see that she�s still hurting from what happened last night. At the same time, I can see she�s more relaxed and comfortable that we�re doing this in a private place, without anyone really knowing what�s happening. "I�m glad that your knee is fine." She sat on the other corner of the bed, towards the door. "So...what you wanna talk about?" "I wanna ask you a question of curiosity, Mee. Why did it took you so long to tell me this? Like I said, if you would�ve stayed and said something-" "Things would�ve been different, I know." Mia interrupted. "But to be honest with you, Mark, it would�ve been the same." "What do you mean about that, �it would�ve been the same�?" "Mark, girls in our school thought you were as this cute shy guy and the thought of a girl like me liking you was preposterous." "But I didn�t care about the other girls in our school. It�s you I wanted. Mia, you�re different. You don�t have to be like one of them." I pleaded to her, but she kept a straight face. "But I knew I can�t have you, especially when Kian fancied you." "Kian never really liked me in that way, Mark." Mia shouted. "It seemed that way because he wanted you to open your eyes and to see that I cared about you and only you." "Mia, you have no idea how much I wanted to say that to you. To hold you. To be the one to give you your first kiss. I was meant to kiss you that night at Shane�s birthday party, not Kian." I just wanted her to see that I did cared about her back then. "Even when you left, I couldn�t eat or sleep or even concentrate. All I can think about was you. I know it seemed intense for a 13-year old to handle but it was the truth." Mia was stunned, like she seen a ghost. She slowly turned around and looked at me once more. "Now you know what dilemma you put me through the last 5 years? Just imagine you feeling that way for 5 long years. Everyday was a struggle for me." "But we contacted each other by mail and by phone." "That wasn�t enough." Mia continued to explain. "You wanna know why I didn�t see you all these years? About 3 and a half years ago, I suffered from anorexia and depression. I just couldn�t put the past behind me. I thought that leaving you was the end of the world. So I didn�t eat. Hours turned to days. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. I was becoming a skeleton right before my family�s eyes. It was like I was unconsciously committing suicide. That�s how depressed I was." I couldn�t believe what I was hearing. If I would�ve told her I cared for her, than she would�ve stayed and been happy. "So what happened after that?" I whispered, in shame. "I got help. The psychiatrist told me that sooner or later I have to face you again and face my fears. That way I can move on and have a healthy life. I didn�t realized I was 95 pounds, not normal for a girl who�s 5�6" and doesn�t have a small frame. So from that point on, I began to eat again. I gained 40 pounds and looking healthy. And if you wanna know, everything in this body is real." "That�s why you wanted to become a psychiatrist, eh?" I joked for a moment. Then turned serious. "So this was this trip all about, facing your fears? I didn�t know I was your fear." "Mark, you�re not my fear. You just hold the cards to my fate. I guess I already know that fate. Guess I need another one-way ticket to go back home." "One way ticket?" I was stunned. A one-way ticket? She had an one-way ticket here? But I thought she was staying here for 2 weeks? "Then why 2 weeks here, Mia? Didn�t you told me you�re here for only 2 weeks?" "I have only 2 weeks to find out that if it is worth it to stay here and be with you. If you can convince me to stay, then I would stay here in Sligo and be with you. I�ll even go to Trinity just to spend time with you and the others. But it�s not worth it." "Mia, I don�t want you to go." I began to plead for her to stay. I rather eat crow than to see her more unhappy than she�s already is. "I care about you so much. You have no idea how much I miss you." "Mark, you got a girlfriend." Mia replied back, sounding very numb on her voice. "As much as I want you, I know I can�t have you. You�re taken. And even if you choose me over her, I would feel guilty that I broke a promising relationship because of my selfishness." "Mia, you�re not selfish." I got up and kneel next to her. "You�re impulsive. You�re determined. You�re smart." I began to caress her skin with my right hand. Suddenly, she began to shed a tear. "You�re kind....and wonderful....and beautiful inside and out." As I looked into her sleepy brown eyes, that feeling I had last night came back, as if something is drawing closer to her. "Someone should have you....someone who will treat you good...." I leaned closer to her. That temptation of not surrendering to her was getting the best of me. "If I can�t have you.....then no..one...." Then I realized our lips are lightly touching each other. Our kisses were very gentle and soft. Oh, her lips.....oh so tender. Suddenly, I couldn�t control myself. I slowly got up and leaned forward to her bed, taking Mia with me. Gentle kisses were becoming more passionate, our tongues wanting more. Then without realizing it, my left hand went to her breast and began to rub it. I heard a gasp from her mouth, knowing I should stop for a moment. "You okay, Mia?" "Yeh." She whispered as she began to kiss my neck. "It�s just that I never been touched before. I trust you with me. Touch me." I kept on rubbing her. Ooh this feel so good. Oh I want her. I really want her. Then I remembered what Kian said earlier. I simply got up and looked away. "What�s wrong, Mark?" "Mia, I can�t do this. I�m so sorry." "No it�s my fault. I shouldn�t let you kiss me when I know you�re-" "Mia, don�t apologize." I interrupted, finally looking at her. "I didn�t mean to touch you there. That�s for someone else to do, not me." "But Mark, don�t. I forgive you. I love you, remember?" She said those 3 words again. I don�t know, something wants me to say it back, but I just can�t. "Listen, I have to go now." I got up and grabbed my jacket and rushed to the door, leaving Mia all alone. I ran down the stairs and rushed to the car. I wondered why did I just left her. She was oh so ready for me and I did nothing. I am more confused than ever. I wanted her but I stopped. Is it because I am in love with her and respect that she is a virgin? Is it because I love Gemma and didn�t want to hurt her? Then I realized as I got inside the car that I forgot my house keys. I ran back to the house and to the door. But then I heard a scream inside. The door was open so I opened it. What I saw shocked me. It�s Mia, motionless on the floor. I rushed to her to see if I can revive her. "Mia! Mia, get up!" I check her pulse and breathing. Her Gran came out from the living room, hoping everything is ok. "Mark, how is she?" She asked in tears. "What happened to her?" "She fell down the stairs. She was trying to give you this." She pointed at the keys on the floor. "I called the ambulance and they should be here in a couple of minutes." Oh....my God. What have I really done? Chapter 18 I�m sitting on the same table Mia and I sat at the other night as I have my breakfast here in Carlton�s. I look down at my food and just couldn�t take a bite off my egg and sausage. Last night was still in my head. If only if I didn�t get up and left, Mia will be safe and sound at home, not at hospital. One thing that I�m glad is that she is still alive. I look to my left and saw along with my books is my diary. I opened my book and looked at my last diary entry. June 22, 1998 Back! Sorry I didn't write last nite. I had Gemma over on Saturday and let's just say I got erm distracted and had difficulties focusing on anything at all yesterday. She was all over me. I'm telling you, she's wild and she knows how to drive me wild. And that body, oh and I have to tell you - she wore her thong ... I think women in thongs are SO sexy! I think she likes driving me out the ropes. She definitely does it well that's for sure. I think I gave her a few love bites - hope her mam won't notice or I'll be in deep shit! Erm anyway enough about last night. I won't bore you with the sleazy details. With two youngsters like Barry and Colin in the house you never know when this diary might fall into the wrong hands. It's been a day of catching up with old friends. Earlier today I got a message from Deidre informing me that my old childhood friend Mia was in town. She moved to the US about 5 years ago and I've not seen her since. So we all arranged to meet down at Carlton�s. I had oodles of trouble getting there. First mam's old banger of a Fiesta wouldn't start. Then I got pulled over by the police but luckily got off with a warning - I was only doing 55 mph where 50 was allowed so I really don't see why they bothered to pull me over in the first place. It's not like the Fiesta can do more than 55 anyway even on a good day!! I arrived at Carlton�s at around 8 pm and saw Mia at a table waiting so walked over. She's such a babe. Nice arse. Even bigger jugs than Gemma. Perfect soft, silky skin ... a goddess... I'm seriously considering dumping Gem and getting it on with her. I don't really know what happened between us, it was all very confused. We talked and I think I accidentally asked her to go on a picnic with me in Hazelwoods while she's here. But then again get real Marcus, she's only here for 2 weeks ... then she'll be gone and you'll be left with no one .... better to stick with Gem. At least she'll stay right where she is. Both feet firmly planted in the good old Irish soil. Oh feck I don't know... they're so different and yet I'm attracted to them both. Mee did seem kinda interested in me! Later when she suggested we went for a walk... oh gawd I hope no one saw us walking down the street hand in hand - I swear I didn't mean to take her hand it just happened accidentally. What if someone tells Gemma? And then suddenly she just started crying hysterically and wouldn't tell me why. And that's when the real mess started 'cos I heard her confessing she loves me and well I didn't know what to say. I mean first of all there's Gem and well I don't even know Mia. Yeh I used to know her 5 years ago and we've sorta stayed in touch but I don't know her now and vise versa. I told her that but I don't think she understood ... she walked off. I couldn't follow 'cos I'd tripped over the kerb and hurt my knee. Then she came back and I think we made up sorta and then I drove her home and she made me sing part of "Swear It again" for her. Then she kissed me and I ... well I enjoyed it but I couldn't. So I pulled back and promised to call her with a solution to the problem in the morning. And now I just don't know what to tell her. Feck why does life have to be so fecking complicated? Anyway I will worry about that in the morning right now. I just want to get to bed with a bag of ice on my swollen knee ... wonder if I'll ever get any sleep ... anyway signing off for the night on a not so happy note! Gawd, I just don�t know what to do. It�s either Gemma and her thongs or Mia and her sweet personality. Maybe this will help. "Want more orange juice, luv?" The waitress asked. "No thanks. Can I take this to go?" I pointed at my food. "Sure, I�ll wrap this up." She took my food and left, with a wink and a smile. I took out my pen and began to write my next entry. June 24, 1998 Here we go again. How confused can a girl make me? Jeeeeeeez! First I had a rough French final. Then that annoying Ciaran Henley started on me because of the boyband thing, calling me a wimp and every other name under the sun. I came straight home and took Snoopy for a walk in Hazelwoods. I was just walking around pointlessly when I found it. Her necklace. I found it in a small glade where her and I used to play when we were kids. All the grass was trampled down so I figured she must�ve been here. I sat there for ages, thinking what to do with her, my feelings for her and well Gemma and everything basically. But it was no use- I didn�t get any revelation. I�m so confused right now. I�m seriously thinking I should go to the priest and ask for his guidance. Mam and Mrs. Caffery always said that it is good to use your priest, even if it�s not for a proper confession. And really, I ought to go to confession as well. It�s been more than a month since the last one. Anyway, what happened yesterday. I went to Mia�s to give her back her necklace. I had promised to call her, but to be honest, I didn�t know what to say. At least now, I had the necklace so that was something to get a conversation going. I went over there and turns out she had Kian over. I could hear them talking through the door, but they wouldn�t let me in. Meanwhile, Mia kept shouting she didn�t want to see me. I don�t know what�s wrong with her. Maybe she�s losing it. I mean, she has to understand what kind of dilemma she�s putting me in here. She finally did let me in. Diary, she wasn�t in the best state. She looked awful and depressed, all because of me. Then I found out from Kian that she�s a virgin. A virgin! And I was thinking naughty thoughts about her. Ok, choose: pure and virginal Mia or adventurous and experienced Gemma. Argh, why my life is a mess?! Ok, more on what happened. After I got Kian and all his dumb comments kicked out, we did have a long talk. She told me about the last 5 years, what she been through. I felt like shit doing this to her. It was my fault that she became anorexic. It was my fault that she nearly died. And worse, it�s my fault now that she hates me. But something made me want her more. Obviously, it lead me to kiss her. Ahhh....her lips, soft and juicy. And I took the liberty of grabbing her boobs and I tell you, they were so soft and natural. Jeez, it felt so right and yet I feel so guilty. But it doesn�t end here. I tried explaining to her but she kept saying she loves me. I didn�t say it back because I�m not sure what love is. Is what I have with Gemma love? I mean, I understand Gem. We have a laugh. We go out. We have mutual friends (except for Kian and Deidre. I don�t know why.) But with Mia it�s different. I hardly know her and I�m still not sure if I�m attracted to her because she�s this mysteriously good-looking (oh yes indeed) stranger from my past. Or is it because.....she�s special. I got frustrated and just upped and left. But I think what happened next is that she found my house keys and ran after me down the stairs. Unfortunately, by the time I came back into the house, she was in the floor, unconscious and motionless. To make a long story short (I�m meeting with my mates to pick up our caps and gowns for graduation this morning), the ambulance came to pick her up and as they only allowed one passenger on, I insisted her gran. I promised Mrs. Caffery to come and see her later today, but I�m not sure I�m gonna. I think I need to see Gemma first. Oh great. I don�t know what to do anymore. I�ve totally lost focus on the band. Our audition with BMG is less than 2 weeks away and have no practice with the others. Kian is busy dating around as many girls he can before going to Dublin. Shane is busy with his duties here at Carlton�s and with Deidre. And gawd knows what Bryan and Nicky are doing before this meeting. Good thing Louis and Ronan still hasn�t called to conform the date. I really hope this mess sorted before then or I�m not sure I�ll be able to concentrate. Anyway I think I�ve rambled on enough here for one morning and to be honest, my hand hurts. Well, I�m off! Chapter 19 I finally wrapped up my entry when I saw someone very familiar walking in. She looked quite lovely, cherry auburn hair and light blue eyes. She wasn�t tall, about 5�1". She looked very upset and I wondered is it because of what her boyfriend said or maybe me. She walked over to my table and slapped me on the face. "Mark Feehily, you are the most daft bloke I ever met in my life!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. The patrons looked at her in a weird way. "Ok, besides Shane Filan." She sat down beside me, still upset. "Deidre, that wasn�t called for." I defended myself. "Oh that was so called for, especially what you have done to Mia." "Done to Mia, how do you know?" I was stunned. But wait, she is Mia�s best female mate. "She phoned me yesterday. She was telling me about what you said to her." Deidre is usually an easy-going lass, but at this moment, it is full of anger. "Why can�t you leave that bitch that you�ve been datin�?" "Didi, I still don�t understand why you still hate Gemma?" I shouted at her back. As I said that, her boyfriend and my mate walked in. "Mark, you got problems!" Shane shouted at me. "How dare you to ignore your true feelings to her so you can shag that wrench!" Then he looked at Deidre. "You ok, sweetheart?" "Not until Mark here get his head straight." Deidre replied. Oh my gawd, it feels like everyone is against me. "Ooh, I wondered when that day comes!" Shane shouted. This isn�t him. He�s usually cheeky and reliable for advice. "You don�t even know what happened the other night, Shane!" "But I do!" Another mate of ours, Annick, came in. "Gosh Marcus, when will you ever learn about love. You and Gemma equals quick fling! You and Mia equals true love! Gosh, I don�t even know why am I mates with you!" "Ann, how do you know?" I asked. Wait, bad question. "Just like how everybody else knows in this town." Deidre said, still upset. "She told me. I told Shane. And Annick found out from-" "Kian." I finished Didi�s sentence. "He�s the only one who knows what really happened the other night." "Not to mention last night at her place." Shane added. "Kian told you all the sleazy details?" "It isn�t sleazy, Mark." Annick explained. "It�s the truth. You want Mia. Mia wants you. It�s as simple as the alphabet. Pretty much the town knows how you feel about her." "And for you to ignore it makes you more of an eejit in this town." Deidre added. "I still can�t believe you chose your skanky girlfriend over your first love." "I did not choose anybody yet. As a matter of fact, Gemma doesn�t know about it." "Well, we hope she doesn�t." Shane replied. "Or else she�ll get the whole hurling team to track you down." "Oh not to mention the football team and the rugby team and ohh and don�t forget the lads who think you and the rest of the IOU crew as pansies!" Ann added more to insult. Finally, Kian walked in, pissed. "OOOOH YOU BLOODY BASTARD!" Kian rushed in and attacked me. He grabbed me by the neck, trying to strangle me. "Kian, will you stop it." His new lass on his arm, Maureen, came from behind and broke us apart. She managed to do so. "What was that about?" I rubbed my neck. It does hurt a bit from the strangling. "You�re sitting here like it�s a joke. Don't you realize that your stupid decision lead her to hospital right now, fighting for her life! Ooh I never met a lad who is so daft in my life!" Kian pounded the table. Shane�s mam came out wondering what�s all the ruckus is about. "Children, why are you fighting?" Mae asked. "Mum, Mark broke Mia�s heart." Shane answered to his mother. Oh boy, I�m in trouble now. "Mark, I do wonder one thing." Oh no, here�s another round of shoutin�. "You are a wonderful young lad with so much promise in the future. I wonder why you are still here and not at hospital?" She asked calmly, unlike the others. "You mean, you knew she�s in hospital?" "Mrs. Caffery phoned me this morning. She was telling me about what happened to her granddaughter. It is such a shame." "And I found out from me mam about it, who found out from her Gran." Kian added. The rest of them, stood there stunned. It is true, she is in hospital and it�s all my fault. "Promise one thing, Shane." Deidre said to her boyfriend. "What is it, Didi?" "After we visit Mia at Sligo General, can we stuff Mark in the morgue?" Chapter 20 After picking up our graduation clothes, Shane, Deidre, Annick, Kian, Maureen, and I drove to Sligo GH. The hospital is only 5 minutes from the school, so it didn�t got us a chance to really discuss what happened at Carlton�s this morning. All I can think about in the back of my head was what happened last night at Mia�s. Why did I left her that way? If I would�ve stayed, she�ll be at home, not putting her gran through pain right now. We walked to reception to find which room she�s in. "Erm, excuse me ma�am?" Annick asked first. The receptionist is rather odd-looking. She looks she�s in her 60�s and doesn�t like teenagers like us. "Yes. May I help you?" She said it very slowly and in a monotone voice. "Yeh, we�re looking for Mia Caffery." Shane said. "She fell down the stairs last night. Was taken here." The receptionist wasn�t really paying any attention. "She have long dark brown hair, brown eyes. Got tanned skin." I kept describing her to her, but she wasn�t paying attention. We waited a few minutes until she finally located her. "We don�t have a Mia Caffery here." She said. "But that�s impossible!" Deidre shouted. "She was admitted last night." "Check your computer again." Kian added. The receptionist checked once more. Oh no, she�s gone. "Sorry, no Mia Caffery." The gang looked at me with anger. They seemed ready to send me to my coffin. "But I do have a Maoliosa Caffery in room 521." Wait, I forgot. Mia is her nickname. Her real name is Maoliosa. I remember when we were kids, girls would tease her because of that name. So we called her the more simpler Mia. To be honest, I think Maoliosa is a pretty name. "It�s in the Neurology ward, which is in your left." "Oh thank you." Myself and the others thanked the receptionist and headed up the lift. "Maoliosa?" Annick giggled. "I forgot her name was that." "I know." Shane added. "We always called her Mia. Guess we forgot." "But I think Maoliosa is very pretty too." Deidre smiled as she held Shane�s hand. Finally we arrived on the 5th floor. We knew all 6 of us couldn�t go in all at the same time. So we drew some straws. "Ok, pick a straw." Maureen said as she held 6 straws on her right hand. Annick picked first. Then it was Shane, followed by Kian and Deidre. I picked after that and it was a short one. "Does fate always have to be on my side?" I asked. The others just waved and mouthed good luck. At that, I walked in to the ward with a bouquet of red and pink roses on my hand. Chapter 21 Room 501. Room 503. Room 505. Oh I�m so close to her room. More and more I�m getting nervous. All too soon, I arrived at her room. Room 521. I went in and saw Mrs. Caffery on a chair sleeping. I can see that she finally got some sleep after what happened. I look to my left and see Mia, lying helplessly in that bed. She looks like an angel when she sleeps, like Sleeping Beauty awaiting for her Prince to kiss her. Her lips are as red as the roses I have on my hand. Her skin are as soft as silk. The way her hair is placed around her shoulders....just everything about her, leaves me breathless. But wait, I have Gemma. Gemma is great and I don't wanna hurt her. "Marcus?" Mrs. Caffery said, weakly. She began to wake up from her nap. "Hiya, Mrs. Caffery. I told you I will come." I sat on the bed beside a sleeping Mia. "Well, I�m glad." She gave me a wry smile. "How is she?" I whispered. "She�s going to be fine. It was only a mild concussion." "Did she came to?" "Earlier today. She�s now asleep. I�m going to get some tea. You want some?" She was on her way out the door, taking her cardigan sweater with her. "No thanks." "Take care of her. Oh she left this note for you. It was written yesterday, before she fell down the stairs. I found it in her shorts." She handed me the note left to the cafeteria. I wonder if I should read it now. I mean, she�s sleeping. She�ll never know. Mark (if you ever get this paper), I just need to put this into paper. I�m just gonna say this before you can finally get out of my life forever. If you want to be with Gemma, it�s fine with me. It�s obvious that you don�t love me and love her. Don�t worry, I�m be fine. Anyway, no matter what happens between us, I will always love you, even if we�re only friends. Remember that, ok? If I caused you any confusion, I�m so sorry. Oh my God, Mia. Oh gawd... I�m so confused. I�ve never had lasses after me before. I don�t know what�s happening. I want Gemma and you. I wish... I wish... if only. I took out a page of my diary and wrote a note to her. Maoliosa, I was here, but you were asleep and I didn�t want to wake you. I�m sure the sleep will do you good. I haven�t slept since I saw you drive off in the ambulance last night. Mia, as I�ve said so many times now, I just don�t know. I wonder why 2 weeks here in Sligo? Why can�t it be the whole summer? Can you just please try to understand where I�m coming from? I have Gemma and have been with her and I would hate to hurt her. And then there�s you, my childhood friend, my teenage dream. You�re everything I could ever dream of. But what happens when the 2 weeks are over? I will be left with no one and have caused 3 broken hearts: Gem�s, yours, and my own. Please make me understand why I should risk this? My heart is telling me to grab the chance, but head is telling me to let you go. I don�t know anymore, Mia, but please don�t just rush off without saying goodbye. I�m sure we can solve this....somehow. Give me a ring when you�re back home, will you please? I still think we should have that picnic in Hazelwoods like we used to in the old days. We seem to communicate, but nothing comes of it. I don�t know what�s happening. I�m so confused. Anyway, I�ll leave this here so you know I�ve been here to check on you. Take care my dear and don�t disappear out of my life....please. All my love, Mark I folded the paper and placed it on top of her duvet. I leaned over and kissed her forehead. I took one red rose from the bouquet so I can remember that I was here. The note didn�t exactly have the effect on the mess in my head I thought it would. I�m just even more confused right now if that�s even possible. I mean what am I gonna tell- Chapter 22 "Gemma?" I was stunned to see my girlfriend here on the 5th floor. "That rose is for me?" She took the rose off my hand and gave me a hug. "Awww thank you, sham." She gave me a soft, playful kiss on my lips. "So what brings you here? Trying to surprise me?" "Actually I�m here for-" "Don�t tell me. You know you miss me." She grabbed my arm and walked to the nearest room. "Come on, lets have some fun." Gemma pushed me to the bed. She went to the door and locked it. "Oh poor little thing. I guess Nurse Gemma needs to bring you back to good health." She leaned over and kissed me very deeply, first my lips, then my neck. "Erm....Gemma." I whispered with my eyes wide opened. "You might get us in trouble." "Well, it will be worth it." Gemma winked as she removed the button of my jeans. She then unzipped it. I knew I was hard down there. Gemma has a way to always keep me hard. "Mmmmm...is there now." I tried to reach down to her breasts, but failed. She pulled my boxers down, exposing my hard one. She caressed my balls ever so lightly. I couldn�t stop moaning. I�m so ready for Gemma�s famous blowjob. But when I looked down, I didn�t see a wild, perky blonde, but an exotic, gorgeous brunette. She looked up to see if I was ready. All I can do is surrender to her. She began to go very slowly on my length, then go up to my swollen head. She sucked it very lightly, which became harder within moments. "Ohh how I wish I could be inside you right now." I whispered very low, as I look down at her and loving the sight. She took most of my length into her mouth and continued to drive me mad. My breathing was more like panting. "More......don�t stop." She went to my balls and sucked them lightly. "AAAHHHHHHHH!" She went back to my member and sucked harder than before. Soon, I knew my orgasm is coming soon. "Oh God yeh! Oh yeeeeeeeeeh!" I was so loud, I think the whole floor heard me. I reached down and grabbed her head, starting to pump it up and down. I continued to look down at her as I grabbed her brown hair. I knew the time I was waiting for is about to come right now. "Oooooooooh yeeeeeeeeh! I�m.....arrrrrrrgh......!!!!!" I don�t think I ever came that much before. I just came and came and she kept on drinking til there�s no more drops left to drink. "Oh God, thank you baby!" "You�re welcome, my patient." She winked at me. Then my vision was clear. It wasn�t the one I was dreaming of, but the one I�m with now. "I never thought you can come that much." Gemma still have leftovers on her chin and mouth. She wiped it off with her right hand. "It is like you were fantasizing someone else." Yes I was. But I feel guilty that it is within rooms away from her room. "Gemma, I need to get going. The others are waiting for me." I put my boxers and jeans up. I got up and opened to door. "I�ll call you later, ok Gems?" "Sure, but I�ll be busy tonight." Gemma put on the remains of her buttons of her blouse. "Cheers, baby." I left the room, only to see my friends in the hallway. Chapter 23 It's been a couple of days since that visit at the hospital. By now Mia has been released but I don't know. As I'm waiting here with my class to receive our leaving certs from Summerhill, I'm thinking what should I do. Well, tonight most of the lads at Summerhill are off to Geoff Stephen's' house for some pints and a good time. I mean, all of me mates are gonna be there: Shane, Didi, Kian, his girl Maureen, Rowan, Annick, our former IOU mates Mike, Graham, and Derek, even my girlfriend Gemma is going. Speaking of her, she and I have this lack of communication in the last 48 hours. She said she'll call but she doesn't. "Marcus Feehily?" The headmaster said on the loud speaker, announcing my name. I finally snapped my thoughts and finally received my ticket to freedom....from school, of course. I looked at the crowd, seeing my proud parents cheering me on. I see my brothers, half-excited, half-bored. I see my mates completely being buck wild. It feels very bittersweet because although everyone that loves me is here, she's not here. I mean, Gemma is in the audience but I truly wanted Mia to be here. Maybe she packed her bags and went to New York. I hope and pray she hasn't left Sligo without a goodbye. After the graduation ceremony, I gathered with my mates for some pictures. I know it's going to be one of the last times we all going to be together. After this, I'm going to Dublin to peruse my dreams of being a pop star. But I noticed Gemma carelessly looking somewhere else. "Is anything wrong, baby?" I whispered in her ear as me mam was taking pictures. "Nothing. I just happy that school's over." Gemma whispered me back, while rubbing my bum with her left hand. "Can't wait for that party at Geoff's this evening." "Me too." "So.....wanna go somewhere nice and quiet after your mam finish with those pics?" She asked. I know exactly what she meant. But something else was in my mind. "Erm...Gem?" I turned around and faced her. "I wanna take care of something first. You mind if you meet me there, luv?" "Sure, sweetie." She leaned up and kissed me. For some reason, I don't feel anything when I kiss her. "Meet me there at 9." "Alright. Gemma....ye mind if I ask-" I stopped for a moment. "Forget it. I'll see ye there." I kissed her again, this time on the cheek. "Mam, Da, I'm off." "Where ye going, son?" Mam asked. I leaned over and whispered to her. "Going to Mia's. I need to check on her." "Good for you. Tell me how's she's doing." She kissed my cheek and then wiped the lipstick off me. "Don't be late." "I won't. Cheers." I ran off to the lot. What I didn't see were 6 excited faces. "Feehily's finally waking up and smelling the roses." Kian whispered to Shane. Chapter 24 (Mia's pov) "Maoliosa, can you pass me the pot by the bench?" Grams shouted from the ground as she was planting her tea roses. I missed being here after a few days in the hospital. It's been no more than 2 hours since I came back from there. I still have some headaches from the fall, but slowly it's going away. I got the water pot and handed to my grandmother. One thing I know for sure, she's definitely got a green thumb. "Oh thank you. Feeling better, sweetheart?" "Sometimes dizzy, but I'm ok." I kneeled down beside her and helped out. "Oh these roses are going to look even lovelier when it's done, huh Grams?" "Of course, my sweetie." She looked up and gave me her signature smile. "With my gardening skills, those little red roses will be the talk of the town." "More like the yard." We both chuckled on that. I've always been very close to my grandmother. I mean, I love my mom with all my heart, but she's been truly like a second mother to me. She understands me more than mom. But I don't know, how can a traditional country woman can relate to a city girl like me? Then as she continues to plant her roses, she starting to sing a song that still fresh in my memory. There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wondered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy And sad of eye But very wise was he And then one day A magic day he passed my way And while we spoke of many things Fools and kings This he said to me The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return "Remembering dad?" I asked and a smile. She used to sing this to him when he was a little lad. Then he sang that to me before he died. "Yeah. I always feel Colm very close by, taking care of us and your mother. Then our thoughts of nostalgia was snapped when we heard the doorbell. "I'll get it." I walked out of the yard and into the house to answer the door. I looked very sloppy, only wearing a green tank top and gray sweats. My hair is up in a messy ponytail-bun and have some dirt on my hands from working with the plants. I quickly went to the sink of the kitchen to wash my hands and ran to the door. When I opened the door, I was a little surprised who was at my door. "Hiya Mia." Mark said with a smile. "Glad you are feeling better." "Oh hi." I felt odd. Mark is here with me. But I thought.....I thought he was out. "Aren't you supposed to be with the others?" "They understand I'm not with them right now." He said again with a smile. "I got you something. Not that much considering that was the only things left at the graduation." He handed me a small teddy bear with a shirt saying "Class of '98" on it. "Oh thank you." He gave me the teddy and all I can do is blush. "That's very sweet. Oh by the way, congratulations on finally finishing school." "Hey I wanted to get out of there as fast as I can." He chuckled for a moment, then he realized he's still outside. "May I come in?" I opened the door widely and let him in. "So are you feeling better?" "A little headache here and there. But that's normal." We walked to the kitchen and sat at the breakfast table. "Want something to drink?" "No thanks." He blushed. Mark is blushing at me? But I thought he's taken. "Oh the others said hello to ye and glad that you're feeling better." At that my grandmother walked in. "Oh hi Mrs. Caffery." "Good afternoon, Mr. Feehily." My grandmother gave him that cheeky smile of hers. "And may I say that you look quite handsome today. Mia, why didn't you dress up properly for a guest?" Oh thanks Grams for rubbing it in. I'm all sloppy, messy bun and all and look at him, proper and smart-looking, not to mention gorgeous. Mia, get a grip, he's taken. "Oh gran." I just rolled my eyes and paid my attention to Mark. "I still wondering why aren't you with your girlfriend or the others. Why spend your graduation day with me?" "Because I chose to. Kian and Shane and company can wait. Gemma can wait." He smiled again. "So I figured if we spend some time here? I would take you out for a picnic but since you just got out of hospital, we can have one right here at your home." I don't know if I should be happy with that comment or not. But hey, this is a perfect oopurtunity to clear some things out about our situation. "How about this, relax on the couch and I'll be back in a few." He got up and headed to the kitchen? What is Feehily up to? Chapter 25 (still Mia's pov) I lied down on the couch with a blanket covering my body. There is 2 pillows for my head and 1 of my feet. I have no idea what is up Mark's sleeve but something is fishy going on here. Then Grams came to the living room, probably wondering why I'm not completely helping her with the roses. "Care for me to join you on the couch, sweetie?" She walked towards the couch where I'm lying at. I put my feet down so she can have a space to sit on. "You can put your feet back on my lap." I obeyed her and put my feet back up. She then began to message my feet, which to be honest, it feels good. I haven't had a pedicure in a while. "Are you sure you're feeling better? Really, no headaches?" "Just minor ones, Grams." I was enjoying the foot rub from Grams. Why didn't she became a masseuse? One thing I cannot ignore is my giggling because I'm ticklish. "Grams, stop." "I'm not tickling you, sweetheart." She continued to rub it. "But I am." Then I looked up and it was Mark behind the couch that is tickling me on the left sole of my foot. He got up from where he was and headed to me. "Care for me to continue?" "So you can tickle me again,eh?" "You know, I should go back to my roses." Grams got up and put her rubber gloves back on. "They are probably begging me for some water." Then she went to Mark for a moment. "Take care of her." He just nodded and took that spot where my Grandmother once sat at just moments ago. "So where were you, Mark? It's been at least 10 minutes in the kitchen." I asked. "Just did a quick errand in the kitchen. You like it?" He smiled as he looked at poor little me. "Like what?" He pointed at the table and there was a little pink rose on a vase with the teddy bear he gave me and a bowl of soup. "Aww. That's sweet." "Hey. It's something I can do for you." He leaned to the table and place the tray onto my lap. I sat up to reach for the spoon. "Mmmm, chicken soup." I smelled the soup and took a sip of it. "I'm surprised that you actually can cook something." "Hey, if I clean toilets in Burger King and deliver pizzas, I can cook some soup." "You actually worked at Burger King?" I stood there stunned. "Not only you can cook but you also clean. Whoa, what happened to untidy Feehily?" "Hey I'm still untidy." He laughed. "Me mam had a heartattack when she walked into my room the other day. Not really a country club, eh?" We kid around for a while on the couch for a while. I do admit that the chicken soup was a lot better than the hospital food that Sligo GH gave me the last couple of days. Well, anything is better than hospital food. We just sat there for at least an hour, laughing and joking with each other while watching shows such as "Friends" and "Roseanne". Then I know we cannot ignore why he's really here. "So tell me about Gemma, your girlfriend?" Chapter 26 (back to Mark's pov) "Gemma? Oh, Gemma." I was having so much fun with Mia that I forgot all about her. "Well, what you wanna know about her?" "Just the basics. I'm going to have to meet her sometime." Mia suggested. "Well, she's 19 years old and goes to school here." I started. "Wow, an older woman." Mia giggled, yet a little stunned. "Ok, only by a year." "Yeh, but she looks 16. She's studying business here at University. Her father is a surgeon, so at times she helps out in hospital. She's very friendly. Reminds me of you a bit." I continued. "In what way?" I was right. Gemma is very much like Mia in so many ways, except of the hair colour and sexual experience. "Just the personality. I would bring her here today, but I don't think it's appropriate with our situation." She agreed with a nod. "Speaking of that..." I stopped for a moment, thinking what to say next to her, "about the other night-" "I'm sorry." She interrupted. "Listen, this is all my fault. I shouldn't kept on telling you about my feelings when it's impossible for you to feel the same way." "Mia, it's alright. You don't need to-" "I have to." She interrupted me again. "Besides, I'm happy anyway because we're back in each other's lives. I rather be friends than nothing." "So you support our relationship?" I asked, a little stunned. I don't understand what I'm hearing. One day she tells me she's madly in love with me and the next, she wants us to be friends. It's like she never said what she said the other night. "You don't mind?" "Mark, I love you. Sorry, said it again." I blushed and bowed her head. "It's ok. I know you love me anyway." Trying to lighten things up. "Really? So much that I'm willing to let you go?" No! I don't want to let you go. Can't you see that I like you too? Maybe more than Gemma? And I can do is nod. "Great. We just settled this mess. Now let's move on." "Exactly." This is making me more depressed than ever. Now she's going to ignore what had happened the last few days and move on, just like that? Maybe it is for the best. Being with Gemma and having the band, there is no need for extra drama for me life right now. But why I still feel hurt by all this? Then I noticed a little red album on the coffee table. "What's this?" Chapter 27 "Oh my photo album. I was looking at that before you came over. Just bring back some memories. You can look at if you like." She leaned over and grabbed the album. "Take a look." She handed it to me. When I opened the page, I was a little surprised what I saw. "Whoa, those from the Spring Formal a few years back." I smiled at the pictures. That was from the school dance before Mia moved. She was my date for the dance, although it was last minute. I was originally planning to take another lass, Niamh, to that dance. But she changed her mind and went with another lad. Knowing that I know I'll have a better time with her, I asked her 5 days before the dance. To be honest, that dance was even better than the Senior Prom a few weeks ago. "Ooh I look so different back then." "That was 5 years ago." She laughed. "The only thing that changed is that you're much taller and the mushroom hair. Besides, look at me with my short hair." "Hey you look cute with that hair." She did. It was curly like Shirley Temple, very girlie. "That hair was the style back then. Speaking of hair." I pointed out Rowen's very bad hair. He may be my closest friend besides Mia, but he's definitely in a league of his own. "Him and his wacky look. Haven't seen him yet in a while." "Well, he's with the others, going to Geoff's party tonight. I'm gonna miss him when I go away with the band." As I'm turning pages, I noticed that I was unconsciously looking at her in almost every picture. She had a navy blue slip dress that flowed to her knees. Besides our first communion and at her mam's wedding, that was the only other time I've ever seen her in a dress. She looked very cute back then. But looking at her now, she really grown up. More beautiful and feminine than before. "No way, Kian trying to be a breakdancer." "Yeh. Trying to be the next Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg." Mia giggled at that picture. We knew that Kian was a heavy medal fan in the past and hated rap. That was just his way of mocking it. "And look, him when he was a brunette. Still don't understand why we went blonde." "Maybe so we can try to be like Kurt Cobain from Nirvana." We just couldn't stop laughing. "Aww there is us dancing." "Oh yeah. What song was that?" "I think it was 'Aren't you gonna go my way' by Lenny Kravitz. You were headbanging like it was a rock concert." "Well, it was a wicked song back then." Then we looked at Deidre and that red dress. She was a stunner at that dance. I don't think anybody at school haven't stopped talking about that dress long after the dance. "I felt sorry for her at the dance." "Yep. Never put a dress that won't support your little mountains." Little mountains, eh? Well, Mia doesn't have little mountains at all. The next page was Kian dancing with another girl. "So how many girls did he danced with at that dance?" Mia asked. "Let's see: Claire, Natasha, Lucy, Mairead, erm... Lori, hmm." I was thinking all the names that Kian's dates to the dance. There were so many dates that I couldn't count. "Ok, I remembered. It was Claire, Natasha, Lucy, then Lori, then Madeline, hmmm.... Olivia, then Mairead, Niamh, Jessica, Sine, Didi, he danced with her a couple of times, Fiona, me-" "You?" "Remember 'Pour some sugar on me'? My little bump and grind on the floor?" She giggled about that. "Don't remind me." Yep that was something to forget. I think I never was that jealous in my whole life at that point. "Go on. After you..." "Cara, and finally Sonya." "Aww, the girlfriend. They got together after that dance, didn't they?" "Yeh I think so. Wondering why he isn't with her anymore? Anyway, what's next?" We continued to look at other pictures from that evening. There was this one picture that Kian and Rowen mooned at Annick. It scared her so much, I think she ran to the bathroom to throw up. Poor Annie. Then there was this picture of Didi and Shane doing the "Hustle". I think "Staying Alive" was planning because they were bumping their hips together. There was another one with the 4 of us were singing "Uptown girl", teasing Mia for being one. She couldn't stop laughing over that, especially remembering how Rowen was singing off-key from the rest of us. Oh Rowen, he's always have to squeeze himself in. But there was this one picture I'll never forget. I think Annick got a hold of her camera and took this one. "We really look cozy in the picture, don't we?" I asked her. It was us dancing a slow song, rather tightly to each other. It looked like I was about to kiss her or something. Yeh, that was it. I was going to kiss Mia. I couldn't help it. She looked beautiful that evening and I just couldn't resist. Then Annie took that picture. "Yeah we did." Mia was a little stunned. She didn't realized that picture was taken. "We really looked cozy here. Just brings a lot of memories back. I think it was 'Again' by Janet Jackson that was playing. "That song from her movie?" I looked at her. "I've always loved that song." "Yeh. One of Janet's best." She agreed. She look back down to the picture. There was a sense of nostalgia when she looked at it. "It was nice." "Very." I slowly leaned forward towards her. Before I was able to do anything, she stopped me. "Mark, I want you to make me a promise." She said that with earnest. "Anything, Mee." "Promise me when things get tough between you and the band, do not quit. I know how long you've been wanting this and to give it all up for a stupid argument or a bad position on the music chart or even controversy, that's just pointless. You should always remember the many people that loves you. All your friends here care about you. You're family, who is going to support you no matter what. Ok, pretty much the whole county is rooting for you. Even Gem will cheer you on." Oh I'm glad she is here. To be honest, this haven't crossed my mind of what bad thing might happen when I'm on the road. I'm a little surprised that it was Mia who gave me this pep talk before Mam did it. But I'm glad. "Will you be there for me, even if you're back home in New York?" "Mark, I'll always be there for you. I'm your friend, remember?" She smiled. Ahh, her signature smile. "Come here." I grabbed her and gave her a bear hug. More and more, I feel more closer to Mia than ever before. Gemma would sometimes tell me to drop dead and all. Sometimes.....just sometimes.... "Didi?" She looked up and see Deidre looking on. Chapter 28 (back to Mia's pov) "How long have you been standing there?" Mark asked, letting go of his grip. "I just got in. Your Gran let me in." Deirdre sat on the couch with us. Ok, what happened just now between us? I thought we're just going to be friends. "So feeling so much better?" "Absolutely." "Hey I should head to Geoff's for the party." Mark got up and grabbed his keys. He kissed my forehead and gave Didi a hug. "You're not coming, Didi?" "I'm gonna stay here with Mia." She leaned forward to grab some chips that was on the bowl. "It's for the best." "Ok. I'll say ya." He turned to the door. But before that, he looked at me one more time before leaving. Then Didi have to open her mouth. "Ok, what happened between you two? I want details." "Nothing happened, Didi." I lay back to the couch, feeling comfy. "We just talked and had a laugh, that's all." I don't think she believed me. "So aren't you going to the party with everybody else?" "Just wanna see if you're ok. Besides, I miss hanging with ya. Annick would've come, but she's just thrilled to go to her first real house party. Bless her." "Annick going to a party? Whoa, that's a first." I laughed. Annick is always known as the purely innocent one. Her parents are very strict on her. No wonder why she's scared of anything of the male species. Meanwhile, Didi is the fun one, especially at parties. Always causing a commotion wherever she goes. I'm the low-key one, just being mellow and hanging with the lads is good enough. "She better not enjoy it too much." "She's a big girl so don't worry." Didi then turn a little sad. "What's wrong? Tell me." She hesitated for a moment before she spoke. "Ok, but keep this between us." I nodded and she continued. "I'm thinking of breaking it of with Shane." "No way. You and Shane are good together." I was stunned. She and Shane make a good couple. They may be opposites, but they work well. "Maybe as friends, but not as a couple. We're just too different. We clash." Then she whispered to herself. "And because he likes Egan's cousin." "No way, you mean he likes Gillian? Cute little Gilly Walsh?" Again, I'm stunned. Mama's boy Shane with Kian's cousin? She is pretty, but them hooking up? "I think so. Whenever she's around us, he gets gooey-eyed. He never looked at me that way." She sounded annoyed, but now calmed down. "I don't hate Gilly really, but I just feel that we're not good for each other anymore. We've gone in different directions. He has his thing with IOU, I'm looking forward on going to UCD this fall." "I know what you mean." "But I truly want you and Mark to be together. You're perfect. You mesh together like butter and potato. Like chips and ketchup. Like-" "I got your point." I stopped her before she gave a menu of what's for dinner. "But he and I agree on just being friends. End of story." "But he loves you. I know it. You know it." "He doesn't love me." I got up off the couch and paced a bit. "He might've got a crush on me for a little time after that dance, but that was it." "Oh you're so wrong about that." Didi whispered. "What you mean about that?" Chapter 29 (Deirdre's pov) *March, 1992* "Hey, I can't wait to hear Mia sing." Annick said, sitting impatiently on her chair. "You're not the only one." Kian responded, slouching on his chair. It was our primary school's talent show. So far, all the performances weren't at par with Kian's performance to "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" on his computer. I didn't participate because I had a sprain ankle and wasn't able to dance. I know if I was dancing today, I would've won hands down. But Kian is a good performer, so I'm not going to take that away. What I and everybody else is nervous about is Mia performing. She's very impulsive, but when it comes to singing, she shy away. I've heard her hum to some music, but never sing, especially publicly. But I don't nobody is as nervous as Mark. He couldn't stop shaking all evening. I know he cares for her as a friend, but why the worrying. "Cool, Mia is coming soon." I'm excited to see my best friend perform. "She'll do fine." Shane added. "This is Mia Caffery. Our Mia, fearless and impulsive. You ok, mate?" He turned to Mark, who was still shaking. "Yeah, great." "Hey don't worry, mate." Rowen pad him on the back. "She's going to do great." "Our next talent is a dance by Rhiannon Moran." The presenter introduced this perky blonde on stage. She starts dancing to "Swan Lake", in which she is doing very well. "She always have to be the overachiever." I mumbled in disgust. "Always have to be the best dancer. The best of everything." Argh, Rhiannon Gemma Moran, my nemesis. As long as I can remember, we always rival against each other. But I hate that her status in this town always goes her way. She gets the leads to all the dance recitals. She always picked the prettiest in town. Damn her for being such a snob. And the worst part, she doesn't care who stands at her way. What she does, she always put people down. "I know what you mean. Snobbish bitch." Kian also looked at her viciously. Recently, he asked her out and told him yeah. Then she stood him up because he was poor. What a snob. "Ladies and gentlemen, our next performer is Mia Caffery." The audience applauded as she approached the stage. She looked cute nice, a red turtle neck sweater and a long black skirt. Her short curly brown hair is made into two very tiny piggies. The music began to play very gently. It's a very familiar piece of music for her, "On my own" from Les Mis, her favorite musical. And now I'm all alone again Nowhere to go No one to turn to Without a home Without a friend Without a face to say hello to And now the night is clear Now I can make believe he's here Sometimes I walk alone at night When everybody else is sleeping I think of him and then I'm happy With the company I'm keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head Awww, she sounds very lovely. Everyone had a smile on their faces. But Mark had the biggest, with a blush of course. On my own Pretending he's beside me All alone I walk with him til morning Without him I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me In the rain the pavement shines like sliver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me Forever and forever "Oh my gosh, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Annick whispered to me. "What is it?" "I think she's giving him a major hint." And I knew what was that hint Mia is giving to. He's sitting right next to me, moved by her voice. I never seen him this way before, smiling and happy to hear her. Maybe he'll finally see that she likes him and can finally open his eyes. But that's a usually 11 year old, always blind to see everything that is clear. And I know it's only my mind That I'm talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say there's a way for us I love him but when the night is over He is gone The river's just a river Without him, the world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere The street are full of strangers I love him but everyday I'm learning All my life I've only been pretending Without me, his world will go on turning A world that's full of happiness that I have never known... I love him I love him I love him But only...on my own (back to the present and in Mark's pov) "Why didn't I figure it out a long time ago?" I'm talking to myself, while in the car. My thoughts wondered elsewhere when the memory of Mia's singing came back to me. "Why was I so blind to see it? I guess there is only one thing I have to do before anything can continue. I gotta keep going." I pulled out of the curb and drive to my destination. Chapter 30 I finally arrived at Geoff's place in Rosses Point for his school wrap up party. Maybe a night a partying with the gang will clear my head, especially my little revelation in the car. I walked in to the party. Guess it really started because Geoff is acting like a bloody drunken wanker, as always. Meanwhile, I see Maureen, Kian's girlfriend, giving a little striptease on the couch. I walked to her, a bit stunned of her behavior. "Hey, what in God's name are you doing?!" I shouted to her, trying to overpower the loud music. She seemed very pissed and "Oh Mark, this is the best party ever!" She shouted, acting ditzy. "Thank God school's over!" "I know it's a wicked party, but what if Kian see you like this?" She just continued to strip on the couch. Gosh, why does Kian dates to biggest ditz? I finally found the gang by the pool table, playing a friendly game. "Hiya." "Mark, you came early." Annick jumped, gulping on her Guinness. "Well, of course I'll be there for a party." "Well now this is becoming some brothel." Kian pointed at his girlfriend, now on her bra and panties. "Why did I ever dated a ditz?" "Maybe because you never date the right lasses." Annick slapped his arm. Gillian, who came to keep Annie company, laughed at her cousin. "Hey, at least I got someone unlike you two." As Kian, Annie, and Gilly play fight, I wonder where is Gemma. She said she'll be here at 9 and it's now 10. "You know where Gem is at." I asked Rowan and Shane. "I did saw her a while ago." Rowan explained. "But she said she wanted some air. But that was more than 20 minutes ago." "Anyway, what happened between you and Mia today?" Shane brought up what happened earlier. "Did you guys talked?" Rowan nodded meaning he too wants to know. "Nothing happened. We just hung out, that's all." I headed myself to the loo upstairs. "Look, I'll be back in a few." I walked up the stairs of Geoff's house. Everywhere you go, you see a couple making out outside the corridor. I guess some lads are getting lucky tonight. As I reached the bathroom, I hear some moans in one of the bedrooms in the house. It sounded like someone I know, so I took a tiny peak through the door. "Yes! Harder!" Someone, a lass shouted and moaned as a lad is ramming her below. She had blonde hair, just below the shoulders, and perky tits. That body and voice is very familiar. Then I noticed the tiny fairy tattoo on her lower back. No. It's her. This is not only disgusting to watch, but it saddens me. My own girlfriend is fucking a lad that isn't me? That cheating bitch. Everybody was right. But this really hurt. I ran down the stairs and towards the door like a little lad seeing an urge in the closet. I just couldn't see anybody. I'm such a eejit, getting myself involved with a slut like her. As I finally reached the Fiesta, I couldn't hold it. I had to cry. Chapter 31 "Marcus, wake up!" Mam shouted from downstairs. "Get yerself ready for mass in half past 10! For now, eat some breakfast." I couldn't turn away from my sleep. Still having nightmares of what happened at Geoff's party. It's been more than a day since I discovered that Gemma was cheating on me. This really hurts. We're getting along great and now she had to go behind my back, shagging 2 lads in the process. It wasn't serious, though. It was only 3 months. "Marcus, wake up!" Mam shouted once again. I finally woke up and got out of bed. Maybe church will help me through today. Maybe....maybe....nah. She told me to be with her. But now that we're not together anymore, I can finally be with Mia. But knowing her, she doesn't want to be the "rebound" girl. Plus, she would want me to have some time for myself. I do miss her dearly. Haven't spoken to her as well since Friday. (after mass) Church was great. I may not be the biggest fan of Sunday Mass, but it's a good remedy for a breakup. I see Mam and Da talking to the Filans, while the Egans are talking to Deirdre's family, the Orrs. Mrs. Caffery is talking to Father Murray, while the little brats are running round with Annick's younger brothers. Rowan, Kian, and our former bandmate and Kian's friend, Graham, were talking about regular things lads would talk about. Shane and Deirdre were having their own private conversation. I can see Shane is a little upset with their talk. But I can see he's staring at Gillian, who is talking to Annick. Meanwhile, Mia got out of the church and joined her gran, talking to Father Murray. She look so beautiful in that dress. It's a light blue summer slip dress that only goes no more below her knees, exposing her long lean legs. Her hair softly put up, preventing her hair to fizz up with this humidity. Gawd, this is so hot. Haven't had a hot day in Sligo in a long time. Hmm...I did owe her a picnic at Hazelwoods. I walked towards the lasses, who is near to Mia and her Gran. "Hiya Annie, Gill." I said cheerfully, not letting them know that's I'm still upset. "Hiya, Mark." Gillian gave me a kiss on the cheek, followed by Annick. "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened between you and Gemma." Guess I'm busted. "It's ok, Gill. Your cousin and everybody was right." I put my head down, still being upset from what happened. "I'm not going to say 'I told you so'," Annick added, padding my back, "but I do feel your pain." "Thanks, I appreciate it, Annie." I smiled at the lasses, but my attention is towards Mia. "Excuse me, girls." I walked towards Mia. "Hmm, someone got over Gemma that quickly." Annick whispered and Gilly giggled. "Hiya Mia, Mrs. Caffery." I leaned over and gave both Mia and her Gran kisses on the cheek. "Nice to see, son." Mrs. Caffery said politely. "Hi Mark." Mia smiled at me. "How are you? Haven't seen you in days." "It's been 2 days, Mee. I'm alright." Then I turned to Mrs. Caffery. "May I borrow your granddaughter for the afternoon? I promised her I'll take her out to Hazelwoods." "Did you? Well, have fun, sweetie." She then pointed to me. "Bring her back in one piece." She warned me. "Promise we'll behave." I quickly took Mia's hand, who was a little stunned, headed to the car. "You better have nothing behind your sleeve." Mia giggled as she entered the car. Chapter 32 We entered Hazelwoods, at our secret place. It was a small wooded area by the lake that isn't completely covered with trees. We needed to get in the shade since it was boiling hot out here. I wouldn't want her or myself get a sunburn. We sat on the base of one of the trees, the one that is within a foot of the lake, myself leaning on the rough bark and her sitting on my lap. "This is really warm." Mia leaned her head on my shoulder. "Just as bad as New York during the summer." "New York is like this?" I laughed "Yeah. You and the guys need to go there sometime." I nodded as she begins to relax. "This feels very nice." She whispered as she closed her eyes, taking everything in, feeling a sudden breeze around the lake. I noticed that she was feeling a little tensed, so began to massage her shoulders. It didn't take long before I realized she's not wearing a bra and that little material of her dress was the only thing covering Mia's slender body. A few drops of dew landed on her dress and immediately evaporated into the now stagnant summer air. I continued rubbing her shoulders and then pulled her back to me and kissed softly on her forehead. The combination of her leaning back and the low cut summer dress gave me an excellent view of her cleavage and her firm breasts. I suddenly felt a stirring sensation in my pants and with her sitting on my lap, she could also start to feel an object poking at her. "This really feels good." She whispered. She was trying get more comfortable, noticing the feeling of uncertainty. So I pulled her back closer to me, holding her there, a great warmth emanating from our bodies. I began to see her nipples starting to poke through the baby blue dress. This increased the bulge and only increased the desire. I could feel sweat beads the size of marbles on my forehead as I just held her there in my arms. Not wanting to scare her but not wanting to cease something that I know I wanted. Slowly, I ran my hands down from her shoulders and traced the hem of the dress to its lowest point. Then started to each side, carefully caressing your breasts. I heard a gasp coming out of your lips. "You don't mind, Mia?" I whispered as I continued to caress her breasts. "I trust you." She just laid there eyes closed totally enjoying the attention her breasts are receiving. As my hands encircled her breasts through the light fabric, her nipples just grew more erect showing me that she truly liked what was happening. I quit rubbing them and slowly went on down the dress, rubbing her tight flat stomach, then on down to the bottom of the short dress. I reached the bottom and rub her smooth upper thighs, feeling the soft silkiness. Then start working my way back up the legs, slowly pulling your dress up and is a get closer and closer to her forbidden place. I can feel the warmth of it. I slide the dress up over her waist and see Mia's white cotton panties and notice a small wet spot telling me that she was really liking what is happening. I can see her full lips softly protruding through the cotton and I rub them gently, carefully, wanting her to get all the satisfaction out of her first time. Her first time. I even forgot that Mia is still a virgin. I can't deny it that I want her just as much as she wants me. I pull the dress on up over your beautiful breasts and feel them unabridged for the first time. Oh my God, these are perfect. I've seen different kinds of tits, but Mia's are perfect. Maybe even better than Mariah's. They are naturally big, not like the fake ones porn stars have. I rub them gently and pull on her soft pink nipples, causing her to start rubbing her legs together. Wanting to make this the best for her, I lean down and press my lips to hers, kissing her deeply, passionately, holding that for a while my hands start back down her stomach. "I want you." I whispered in her ear, before going back to her lips. "I want you too." That's what I needed because my right hand disappears under her panties and finds her sweet little love hole. As I trace the opening of it, I can feel her slippery wet juices. So gently I slip my index finger in. Rubbing her most private of areas gently, I find the little love button and start to massage it with my thumb. So with one hand, I'm still caressing her breast, kissing her beautiful lips and making sure she's nice wet and ready for your first time. As I push you away, her body is limp, yet full of desire, completely submissive to the feeling I was giving her. I kneel between her legs and as she was laying there with nothing but her soaked panties on, I know it is a time to remember. I slowly pull them down revealing everything, her melon sized creamy white jugs, her untouched pussy glimmering with wet shiny juices. I lean down and run my tongue right up her slit finding your love button, I flick it with my tongue and her hips buck right into my face. While flicking her clit with my tongue, I stick a finger back into her opening. "More." Mia whispered, yet moaned, knowing this was driving her wild. Her breathing became pants, knowing she's very close to release. I stick two fingers in and instantly, she exploded. Laying there in her juices, I lick them all up. I began to remove my green polo shirt, kakkis trousers and boxers. I don't care if it's Sunday, I need to be in her right now. And if that's a sin, then God forgive me. "Are you ready?" I asked, but I noticed she was very quiet. Then I saw that her eyes are closed and relaxed. No! She went asleep. I began to feel very drossy and closed my eyes for a moment. Chapter 33 I opened my eyes and its now evening here in Sligo. I noticed my clothes are still on and same for her. Guess this was a dream, a very nice dream. I looked down next to her. Guess I was wrong. She's wearing a strapless bra underneath her dress. One thing I think it very pretty is the way she's sleeping. She looks like an angel as pure as snow. She turned away her sleep and woke up, smiling at me. "Guess Sleeping Beauty slept through the day. Sorry." Mia said softly. "Hey I slept too." I smiled. "At least the heat is gone." She giggled. "The heat made us fall asleep." Then she felt something on her hand. "Mark, I feel something wet on my dress." "Really?" I checked around us if a tiny puddle soaked the back of her dress, only to realized that the center of my trousers have a small wet spot. "Mee, let's go. Your Gran will get worried." I got up first, grabbing her hand to get her up as we go to the Fiesta. "Sorry that we spend today sleeping. I have so many things in my mind." "I know. Me too." She smiled as we walked through that path back to the road. "It felt good sleeping in your arms, though. Felt very safe." "I know what you mean." I smiled back. Oh if my dream was a reality, but I can't do that to her. Not especially after leaving Gemma that soon. Chapter 34 The ride back home wasn't like the other night, where it was quiet. We joked the whole ride, laughing about the mass, from Father Murray's minor slip at the altar to Mr. Quinn's toupee falling off his head when his little daughter, Jacqui, was playing with his collar. It was just good fun for us to kid around like the good ol' days. We finally arrived at her place at near Dromhair. We see the door light on, meaning that her Gran is waiting by the door. "After you, Mia." I opened the car door and let her out. "Had a great time?" "Thanks, Mark." She took my hand and walked to the door. "And yeah I had a fun time. Too bad I slept most of your little handout." "Little hangout?" I laughed. "Well, it isn't a date." She reached to her purse and took out her keys. "I'll see ya tomorrow or something." "I'll call you tomorrow morning to let you know about some plans we can do together." I couldn't let go her hand, nor let go my gaze at her. We just looked at each other, not really knowing what we're thinking. Oh I really want to kiss her. But we made a pact that we'll only be friends with each other. If only I broke up with Gemma earlier, I would've dragged her into her room and give her the best sex of her ever-so-virginal life. Damn it, I'm gonna do it. I can see she's finally closing her eyes, waiting patently for us to finally share a gentle kiss. "Mia, is that you?" Her Gran called from the opposite side of the door. The trance is broken. Back to reality for the 2 of us. She let go of my hand and turned the key. "Coming Grams." She called out. Then she looked back at me. "I'll talk to you later, ok Mark?" I just nodded. "Good night." "Oiche mhaith." I leaned down and kissed her forehead. She opened the door and went in. "You just love saying cute things in Gaelic, don't you?" She smiled as she's about to close the door. "Night." (20 minutes later, arriving in my house) Damn it, Mark. Why are you such a fool? You had one opportunity to have the girl of your dreams and you blew it for another girl who will only break your heart. You had another opportunity and again, you blew it. And now, when you though the third time was the charm, you blew it again! I'm having all these chances with her and always blowing it like a balloon being popped by a needle. Maybe I'm not worthy of her. She's damn perfect and I'm just an eejit, blowing on love time after time. Aww, her smell is still fresh in this old banger. I was close, so close. "Mark!" Mam ran out of the house, screaming and jumping. "Mark!" I immediately got out of the car to see what's wrong. "What is it, mam?" I asked. "Louis called. He wants you and the lads to come to Dublin tomorrow morning." She shouted very excitedly. "Want us in Dublin? For what?" "To meet your new co-manager." She jumped up and down. "Wait, Louis isn't going to be our manager?" "Yes he'll still be our manager, BUT Ronan Keating will be his assistant!" Oh my God, Ronan is our co-manager. Now I'm the one that is jumping up and down like I won the lottery. "AHHHH! Ronan's my manager! Whoo-hoo!" I'm dancing around me mam. "I'm gonna call Mia to let her know the great news." I ran to the door and rushed to my room. I tripped on my jeans that I left on the floor, but manage to land on the bed. I dialed Mia's number on my phone, but I didn't get her. It was a busy signal. Who can she be talking to her at this hour? She usually asleep at 10 o'clock. I need to let her know about the band or plans. I need to let her know....about everything. I'll wait for 5 more minutes...5 very short minutes. Chapter 35 The sun woke the whole town up and shine through my window. I was still in my clothes from last night with the phone in my hand. I can hear the message through the phone. Oh gosh, what if Mia tried to call? Oh no. 10 AM. I need to catch that train to Dublin in about 2 hours. I dialed up her number again. No answer. Maybe I'll just visit her before I go to the station. I rushed to the bathroom and took the quickest shower I have ever took. I put on anything I could find and ran out of the house. Right when I was getting in the car, I saw someone very familiar getting closer to the door. "Gemma, what are you doing here?" I shouted through the car window. "Mark, I need to talk to ya." Gemma ran over to the car and got inside. "Did I told you to come inside my car?" I snapped at her. "Listen, about the other night-" "Your little fuck fest in Geoff's room, huh?" I gave her this evil eye, wanting her to get out of the car before I'm gonna kick her out and run her over. "I bet he's a better fuck that I am." "Mark, it isn't like that." Gemma pleaded at me. Her hand on my left thigh. "Please let me explain." "2 minutes, that's it." "I know I should've told you this earlier, but I'm afraid that you'll get hurt." "We'll telling me or not, I would've figured it out." I snapped at her again, wanting her to get out of my car and my life. "Listen, about 2 weeks ago, my ex-boyfriend came back to Sligo to see how was I doing. I thought my feelings for him was gone since I have you. But I was wrong. My feelings for him grew stronger and I couldn't help myself being with him again." She took that hand that was on my thigh and put placed it on my cheek. "I wanted to tell you the other night that we should break it off, but you weren't around." "So you decided to fuck him so I can find that out that way." I removed her hand off my face. "Have a wonderful life with your boyfriend." I opened the passenger door to let Gemma out. "Mark, I do like you. And I'm sorry that it had to end this way." She got out of the car and looked at me with her puppy blue eyes. "I'm really sorry." "Well, I'm glad because I have better things to do than mope around and think about a cheat like you." I closed the door and drove off, leaving my old life behind and driving to my new life. (30 minutes later, arriving at Mia's) I finally arrived at Mia's home, a little later than I originally planned, thanks to Gemma. I hope I'm I can tell her how I feel before I make it for me train to Dublin. Urgently, I ran to the door and rang the doorbell. I rang it a couple of times, no answer. I bet she's with her Gran buying some groceries at the market. "Mia's not here." A voice came behind me. It was her Gran holding a bag full of groceries. "Mrs. Caffery." I helped her in with one of the bags. "What you mean Mia's not here." "She left about more than an hour ago, me son. I left her at McDiarmada station. She told me that she had an errand to run." "She went home?" I was stunned. I thought we're getting along great. Why would she leave like this. "I really needed to speak to her. As you can see, I'm have to go to Dublin straight away but I wanted to see her before I leave." "Don't worry, son. You'll see her again. Trust me." She padded my back, hopefully I'm ok, but I'm not. I don't think I'll ever be ok for a while. Chapter 36 "I'm sorry that you missed her at her place." Shane gave me his sympathy as we sat down on the train. "But think about it, one day you'll see her again." "When, 5 more years?" "Personally Mark, I think it's definitely sooner." Kian put his feet up on the train seat and relaxed. "If you are both meant to be, which it is true, than you'll see each other when the time is right." "Kian's right." Shane added. "You should never give up someone who is your soulmate. Yeah, I know you're gonna say that Didi and I were meant to be but that didn't work out. But is because we're not meant to be. But you and Mia are and you shouldn't let go of her that quickly like when you were both 13." "How in the world I was so blind and daft? I gave up the best thing in my life for someone who is only going to be there for a short while." I look out the window as the train begins it's journey to Dublin. "I'm such a fool." "Yes you are." Kian chucked for a moment, but then became serious. "I know you look the best in all people, but sometimes it can blind you a bit. But don't worry, you'll see her one day soon. Promise you that." I just felt very alone. I have no one. The one thing I feared happened. Gemma cheats and dumps me and Mia left without a goodbye. I put on my headphones on my ears and put on anything that is in the radio. An old song that reminded me of her when we were young came on the radio. I heard from a friend today And she said you were in town Suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind How can I be strong I've asked myself Time and time I've said That I'll never fall in love with you again A wounded heart you gave My soul you took away Good intentions you had many I know you did I come from a place that hurts And God knows how I cry And I never want to return Never fall again Making love to you felt so good And oooh so right How can I be strong I've asked myself Time and time I've said That I'll never fall in love with you again So here we are all alone again Didn't think I'd come to this And to know it all began with just a little kiss I've come to close to happiness To have it swept away Don't think I can take the pain Never fall again Kinda late in the game And my heart is in your hands Don't just stand there and then tell me You love me then leave again Cause I'm falling in love with....you again Hold me, hold me Don't ever let me go Say it just one time Say you love me God knows I do... love you... again I guess, no I know I have fallen in love with her again. Chapter 37 "Welcome to Connolly Station." The train conductor announced to the passengers. "Everyone please take your belongings as you leave the train. Thank you for riding Iarnr�d �lreann. Have a nice day." "Lads, you're ready for our new adventure?" Shane asked, cheering us up. I wasn't in the mood being cheerful. Being away from home and losing Mia is just too much for me. I just want to go back to Sligo and leave this all behind. But I promised Mia that I wouldn't give up on my dream for anything, not even for her. "Hello, Mark. Earth to Feehily!" Shane waved his hand afront of my face. "Emm...sorry. Just dazed." "Well, when we meet Ronan, I think we all be dazed and confused." Kian chucked as we picked up our bags and headed to the station's terminal. It was busy for an early summer afternoon in Dublin. I mean I have been here before, but never alone and in these circumstances. Today is probably the first day of the rest of my life. Today is where my life really begins. The first major step of becoming a pop star. Yet I do have my friends and family back home, the one person I truly care about has gone away and went to America. Guess true love really hurts. "Guess that Louis is a little late on picking us up here." Shane came over after calling Louis on the pay phone. We all sat on a nearby bench as we waited for him. I placed my bag on the chair next to me, not noticing someone's hand was on the way. "Sorry about that." I removed the bag off the person's hand. Then that person looked back. Oh my God....it's her. "Hi." "Hi." She simply replied with a smile. "Guess it didn't take you too long to find me." And yes I found her. This time, I'm not letting her go again. Not ever. "Oh I have to tell you something that is very important." Oh no, I guess that reality might have to wait. The end....or is it |