For entertainment only.
Hmm... another non-seishi request. I couldn't turn this one down.
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
I've been with a guy for about a month and a few nights ago at a New Year's party I found out he'd been fooling around with this girl. I didn't know what to say, I was silent for a few days and finally mentioned it... then he dumped me.
I feel so bad and his best friend who also happens to be one of my closest told me he's been acting dperessed lately.
I don't know what to do.. I want to get back with him, comfort him and tell him I'll always be his. But then I'm afraid he'll betray me again. :`[
Signed, I don't know
Dear don't know,
Well, you may be cutting your ex a bit too much slack. I mean, he wasn't too considering of your feelings when he a) cheated on you, and then b) broke up with you when you confronted him about it. If he's acting depressed now, maybe he's only just realized what a great thing he's lost. I do believe in giving people second chances, so really the only way you can be sure what he's feeling is to go talk to him. Ask him what's up, and hear it straight from the horse's mouth. Then... go from there.
Best of luck!
Sailor Xanadu
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
My ...main occupation, you could say, before becoming a seishi, totally clashes with what I am obliged to do now. My practices have taught me to be non-violent, meditate regularly, not indulge in the public world, and most importantly, that WOMEN ARE BAD NEWS (Buddha told me so ;) And here I am, stuck with a bunch of immature kids who drink and fight and cuss, and I hafta devote my life TO A WOMAN. Would it be morally correct if I break my vow of non-violence and just kill her off, or can I wander away one of these days and hope no one notices?
Signed, irked and my hair shows it
Dear Irked,
Well, I definitely don't recommend killing off your miko. While it might be temporarily satisfying, you'd only regret it later, when your country is in a shambles because you killed its only hope of salvation.
Look at it this way: you
really only have to stick around these guys until your god is called, right? How long can that take? A couple of months, tops?
So...my advice to you is to relax, meditate on it a bit, keep the young'uns out of trouble, and as soon as that peacock appears, you're outta there.
Good luck.
Sailor Xanadu
Ooh! A Byakko seishi wrote me!
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
My husband is incorrible. He's getting up there in the 100's, and he still chases young women. I mean, it's pointless, his "magic" doesn't even work anymore, and yet he still does it. It annoys the hell outta me. And one day I was arguing with him about it, and he told ME to try girl-watching sometime. Ya know, as a way to shock me into submission. Well, I tried it. And I liked it. Now we go up to the tree by the main road every Saturday afternoon and discuss the pedestrian's assets. Is this healthy?
Signed, in need of a lesbian romp
Dear In need,
Well, first, I must congratulate you on finding an activity that both you and your husband can enjoy, even after many years of marriage.
I don't think, however, that watching girls from trees is a very polite way of satisfying your curiousity. Healthy... maybe. Polite, no. Perhaps you could put posters up around town advertising your alternative preferences. That way you can attract people who return your interests to come right to you, and you won't have to watch from a distance any more!
Good luck, and have fun! (I think)
Sailor Xanadu
Now, I don't usually respond to non-seishi requests for advice, but this one struck a very personal note for some reason... I wonder why that could be? ^_~
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
Help! My roommate is crazy. What should I do?
Signed, Helpless in Kanata
Dear Helpless,
Hmmm...your roommate could one of those crazed anime fangrrrls. To be sure, I suggest that you ply me --er, I mean her-- with plenty of anime, preferably on laserdisc. And merchandise, lots of merchandise. Anything relating to Fushigi Yuugi will likely be appreciated. Be warned: in my experience, anime fangrrrls who go for long periods of time without access to the art tend to become violent, so if you know what's good for you, I'd rush right out and buy something. Of course, you could go the other route and sleep with one eye open...;)
Good luck.
Sailor Xanadu
This'un comes from a Genbu seishi, who had the following concern:
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
OK, so Genbu has been called and I've been guarding this necklace for a while with my buddy. And I have a little fun by chopping the occasional would-be-thief in half and shooting ice arrows into them every now and then. But, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE MEANTIME? I mean, 200 years is a VERY long time, and it's not like I have an extremely stupid thief drop in every day to play with!
P.S. I also have a bit of a problem with hat hair. Can you help me?
Signed, Bored WAY, WAY, beyond death
Dear Bored,
Well, if you enjoy sports you could try using your powers to create a nice film of ice over the ground. You could then use this surface to glide across the ice doing fancy tricks, or even race your buddy for fun. There's also this sport we like to call curling, which doesn't make a lot of sense but basically involves sliding large objects across the surface of the ice. These activities should provide centuries of enjoyment for you and your friend while you wait for some more excitement.
If you remove your hat while you race across the ice, the wind could help put a little life into your hair, eliminating hat-hair for the time being. Good luck and have fun!
Sailor Xanadu
Another Suzaku seishi had the following concerns:
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
Okay... see, I'm the youngest in a family of six kids. The other five are all girls and beat the #@$% outta me on a daily basis. This is @$#*#! hurtin' my pride as a guy, and it doesn't help that certain Obake-chans tease me 'bout it. And to top things off, I now HATE women and people think I'm %$@$!^ GAY!! What the hell should I do?!
Signed, Name? My name?! HELL NO!!
Dear Name,
You mean you're NOT gay?!?!
Ahem, sorry. Never fear, I just happen to have a secret soundproof fortress hidden away where older sisters and Obake-chans are most certainly not permitted to enter. If your situation is grave, I will ... take you in and ensure that you are not bothered by these outside annoyances.
Did I mention that I have an ample supply of sake in the cellar? And it's got your name on it...
Sailor Xanadu
This one's from a Seiryuu Seishi, who shall remain nameless:
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
I'm absolutely head over heels in love with this gorgeous blue-eyed blond. The problem is there's this woman who's always draping herself all over him! What can I do to get him away from her? What can I do to get and keep his attention?
Signed, He Should Be MINE!
Dear MINE,
Might I suggest trying a little makeup to bring out your pretty features? Done correctly, this small gesture will surely turn the gaze of the most clueless male. Be warned, though; you don't want to go overboard, or you might just end up looking scary. Good luck in getting your man.
Sailor Xanadu
This is from a Suzaku Seishi who shall remain nameless:
Dear Sailor Xanadu,
I have had a steady girlfriend for several months now, and she is my true love. I know she loves me very much too, and someday we hope to get married. Things have not been perfect between us, but we always make it through okay. The problem is, well, her voice. She has a really shrill, high-pitched one. When she's just speaking it's not so bad, but sometimes she likes to scream my name at the top of her lungs and I think I may go deaf if this continues. What should I do?
Signed, Love is Blind, not Deaf
Dear Deaf,
The next time your beloved is around you might want to take two pieces of fabric and shove them in your ears. This should dampen the shock to your ear drums. Conversely, you can combine the two pieces and shove them both into her mouth. This should work nicely as well. Good luck.
Sailor Xanadu
Back to my Fushigi Yuugi Page
This page was brought to you by the letter F, the number 7, and a piezoelectric transducer.