chapter7: & found
***
The recurring dream was back with a vengeance. JC knew that some part of him realized it was a dream, but at the same time it felt so awfully real...he wanted so much to touch Lance's skin, to be with him, he was completely prepared to abandon himself to the prospect, even if it was only in dreams.
It was just beginning. He stood, wind-whipped and careless, on the edge of a rocky cliff. He could hear the sea, smell it so clearly, and as he licked his lips they brought with them the taste of salt. The sky, as always, was a perfect hazy blue, and sunlight barely filtered through thinly spread clouds. He looked around him, rather, his dream-self did, and for the first time perceived the rest of the landscape.
It was a city behind him, but so far off the buildings looked no taller than needles held upright in the palm of his hand. Separating him from this city was a vast moor, with thistledowns shooting up randomly in the tall grass. He'd never seen this before, never in all the times he'd had this dream. It was frightening and fantastic at the same time, and he suddenly wished this were all real. Was it?
He didn't need to see him to feel that Lance was there. This time he needn't have walked toward him, because Lance came to him. They said nothing, didn't even look at each other as JC felt Lance's arms around him, as he lay his head on Lance's shoulder and breathed. It was so real, so very real, how could it not be? Maybe it was...maybe this was the real world, and what he'd left behind had been the dream...
"I missed you, Joshua." Lance had spoken. Lance had spoken? Funny, that had never happened before...
***
And suddenly JC opened his beautiful eyes, and Lance was kneeling beside his chair in the restaurant, running his fingers through his hair and speaking in a low voice. "Hey, you." He didn't say anything else(he didn't need to), he just smiled, the sort of smile that told JC everything was going to be fine, was going to be just perfect.
"Hey." They stayed like that for a few moments, neither of them wanting to speak. "You found me."
Lance looked away. "I'm sorry, JC," he said quietly. When he looked back his eyes were coated in tears and unusually bright.
The pain in his chest swelled to breaking point and JC felt his own eyes become wet all of a sudden. "No, please don't," he whispered. "I don't think I could handle you saying sorry any more, I'm the one who should..."
"We're even then," Lance interrupted. He wiped his eyes. "JC, you look terrible, we have to get back to the hotel now." JC nodded, and they left.
***
It was a less than joyous reunion with the other guys, because by the time they returned to the hotel it was dark out and JC looked ready to collapse. With the help of the others, Lance managed to get him into bed, and it was only when they were lying side by side and the room was dark, quiet, that he spoke again.
"I did a stupid thing..." he began, unable to control himself.
JC was weirdly quiet, and for a moment Lance thought he'd fallen asleep, but then he spoke in a soft voice. "Promise me we won't hurt each other anymore, Lance. Another few days like the last and I'll be a complete wreck for sure..." Lance was glad to hear the slight mirth in his voice.
"Never again, JC. Never again." He moved to kiss his forehead, which was glistening with sweat and condensation from the cold compress Lance had made for him. They lay silent for a while, breathing gently.
"How is it you found me, Lance? How'd you know I was there?"
There was no answer for a moment, then Lance finally replied, "I didn't find you, JC. We found each other."
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