chapter4: lost
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He was at that part of the dream where his head was on Lance's shoulder, and this time, this time he could smell him--it was the best smell in the world, it made his head spin, made him cry, it was so Lance. Then he was suddenly awake again, and he felt his cheek resting against soft sheets, and he stretched out his arm to touch Lance...but again he felt nothing.
Then he sat up, the world came back to him and he let out a strangled cry. "Lance, where's Lance, need to find Lance NOW, he was there and then he was gone, so fast, so fast..." The noise had apparently awoken Justin, who got up from the couch and came over to JC hurriedly.
"JC, shut up a bit, stop it..." Because JC, at being held down by Justin, had begun thrashing about and entangling himself in the sheets in his struggle to get free.
"Let GO, Justin, don't you get it? Lance is GONE, he's GONE, I hurt him so bad and he just took off..." Justin kept his grip and, being much stronger than JC and much better built, it wasn't long before JC tired himself out and lay back down, utterly exhausted.
"JC, you need to tell me what happened. Calm down for a minute and just tell me what happened." JC turned his head away from Justin and spoke into his pillow, his voice muffled by tears and barely contained sobs.
"We were at the...the club, and we were about to leave. I don't know, Aaron was there all of a sudden," Justin gave a small gasp at the mention of his name "and Lance let go of my hand. Oh god Justin, he never lets go, but he did right then and Aaron...he spoke to me and when I looked around for Lance he wasn't there. He wasn't there, Justin, Lance wasn't there..." At this point he couldn't speak because great gasping sobs were escaping his throat.
Justin didn't say anything for a moment. "JC," and he said this very quietly, as if speaking to a scared child, "Lance didn't come back last night..." At this JC gave a shuddering gasp "And we need you to tell us where he might be. You were out in the cold so long, the doctors say you've caught pneumonia. Some stranger found you, you know, and called the hotel, and me and the other guys, we just came straight out to get you, luckily you hadn't gotten very far..." JC barely heard what he was saying, all he could concentrate on was that one thought--JC, Lance didn't come back last night...
Justin was still talking. Something about Johnny being angry they'd given their bodyguards the slip at the beginning of the night...it didn't really penetrate, JC was almost catatonic at that point. He broke in suddenly. "We have to find Lance, NOW." Justin stopped talking abruptly, nodded, got up to make a few phone calls (to the police? JC thought) and came back to sit on the bed.
"We'll find him, JC, don't worry. Just rest for a while, you need it."
***
There was no dream, just fitful sleep, for JC all that afternoon. When he awoke it was to total darkness, except for the moon shining faintly through the room's thin curtains. He sat up. He was shaking, sweating, though he couldn't remember why. Lance.
He got up, felt his way to the door of the suite and pulled, his eyes hurting at the sudden light of the hotel corridor. Lonnie was stationed outside his room, and at the sight of JC he got up sharply. "JC, where are you going?"
"I need to find Lance..." he mumbled, trying to push his way past the man in front of him, but Lonnie stayed where he was.
"JC, I know how much he means to you, but you're in no fit state to go searching for him right now. The others thought you might try to, that's why they put me here to stop you from doing just that." He put his hands on JC's shoulders, holding him steady, because JC was swaying dangerously just then.
"Lonnie, can you at least tell me...do they know where he is? Where are they? What time is it?" His tongue felt thick in his mouth and he could barely get the words around it.
The big man sighed. "They don't know where he is yet, I'm sorry JC. Chris and the others went out with some members of the NYPD to look...they've only called once so far, to check on you and give word that they hadn't found anything yet. It's 8 o' clock. And YOU should be resting."
JC slammed his palm against the wall. "I don't WANT to be resting, I've done enough resting for the day! Don't any of you get it?! The only person in the world that I live for is GONE, and everyone expects me to stay in bed and rest?? That's the stupidest...most..."
He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence before he slumped to the floor, panting, in a cold sweat.
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